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I feel disgusted when I think about it
I met a guy online and we'd been talking for a couple months when we decided to go out. We ended up hooking up in the backseat of his car. We didn't have **, but he 'got me off' (I faked it) and then I returned the favour... somewhat unsuccessfully. I regret it so much. Everytime I have 2 seconds where something reminds me of it or him I shudder and feel disgusted. I wish I'd never done it. I'm humiliated because of my lack of inexperience but also because he stopped talking to me immediately after that. I wish I could take it all back but I can't.
Ew.
No self respect there
Practice make perfect so carry on and you will learn to enjoy it
Aw, don't feel bad about it. Sounds like you were both needing experience if you had to fake it. Take what you can from the experience and move on. If he stopped talking to you after that he's either also embarrassed or was just looking for a hookup to begin with. Don't put that on yourself.
Aww I'm sorry sweetie:(