There is not a day that goes by that I think of how many different ways I could kill myself.
I'm playing out different scenarios in my head.
Which is the easiest, cleanest, quietest way to leave?
I don't want anyone to know I'm gone.
I don't want anyone to have to pick up the mess.
I don't want people to talk, "she was always so disconnected..etc."
I don't want a funeral. I don't want to be remembered.
I just want to vanish.