I hate it too
I think this thread hits the nail on the head! I was reading and laughing because I share a lot of these sentiments too! I honestly don't hate all of my kids... Just ONE.. Because his father is a fking deadbeat and I HATE looking in his face.. He looks just like him and nothing like me and every time I look at him I'm just thinking why do you exist??!!! I really wish I had aborted when I had the chance and I have tried to get family to take him no one will be bothered and I can't hand him over to the state for fear that they will take my other children who I adore. They can be difficult sometimes too but not nearly as much as him because I actually wanted them and if they get taken because of him I would die. So I remain tortured having to look at him everyday. I am counting down the days till he graduates high school. Three more years and I hope to never see him again. I can't believe I birthed him. He is a liar and a manipulator just like his dad and ugly as s***. When he was little he was so cute and sweet but once he realized his deadbeat father was a f*** up he did everything he could to be like him from the handful of things he knew about him. Now he's this weirdo kid who is untrustworthy and I tried so hard for his piece of s*** dad to take him and he won't. So I'm stuck with this kid I don't want. I hate how he looks and the sound of his voice makes me cringe. I take care of him he has all he needs but I really truly don't want to do it. Of course none of this is his fault but what is his fault is his nasty ways and the way he treats his siblings. I know he's jealous that they have a dad who loves them and he's tried so hard to love him too but he thinks his bio dad is this great person who one day is going to fulfill all the broken promises so he can treat every one like s*** until this a***ole comes to pick him up which he never will. We sent him away one summer and I finally got a glimpse of what it will be like just to be us as a family and I swear I didn't want it to end. My other children are so good. They are fun, they are beautiful. Everyday he comes home from school the whole dynamic changes I am just waiting for the day I can say good bye and avoid him for the rest of eternity. It's a sh**** hand he's been dealt, he's not wanted by anybody and I feel like he should at least try to be loveable but it's impossible. Once he is old enough I hope he enlists In the army or goes to college and moves on with his life and we can be free from each other. I know he will go seeking out his deadbeat father and I hope they can be miserable together and I hate his father for not taking responsibility and leaving me to look at his ugly face every day. I hate every minute of it. I'm serving a serious sentence for the biggest mistake of my life. 18 years is a long time. It's been h***.