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Things are getting crazy
When I was married to my wife for several years, I stumbled upon her diary from before we were married. Nicole had always been pretty prudish in bed, and told me that she had never had an ** from ** and wouldn't let me eat her out. That is what made the revelations so revealing. Masturbation with sorority sisters turned into lesbian encounters. Her ex boyfriend Mark convinced her to do several 3 ways. Lots of dirty graphic **... The most painful section was her writing about her ex boyfriend Jeff, and how she could finally ** (again and again) because of his big **.
I felt hate and anger well up inside me, and our marriage has struggled since then (10 more years).
I became completely infatuated with this sexual side of her that she had never really shared with me," to the point of obsession. I rigged our room with cameras and microphones to see if maybe she still did have some of that s sexuality left. She had more than I bargained for. Although she doesn't own any **, she masturbated 3-5 times a week while being completely unavailable to me. ** every other month was the best I could hope for. On top of that she would stick very big things in her **. Curling irons, shampoo bleeps, a jewelry box from a bracelet I had given her. Not only did she eagerly take 10 inch objects, they were thick! And you wanted believe the filth that was coming out of her mouth.
"I want that big **! Give me that! "One time she had to objects one big and the other my size (6 inches). She took turns between the 2 and mocked the smaller while worshipping the bigger.
I tried to resolve things with my wife without acknowledging what I had done. She told me that she just isn't that interested in ** and it just isn't that important.
Last month I cheated on her, and find myself noticing and ogling other women constantly. I think I will just ** as many women as possible. When I'm ** a normal ** instead of the Grand Canyon, some women like my average **
It seems like she is adventurous. But doesn't want to be, with you for some reason. Perhaps you're the problem.
Maybe she isn't sexually attracted to you anymore. It happens.
What seems obvious, is that you're protecting your ego and manhood by stating - she's the least adventurous of all the women you've slept with - But it's apparent she is sexually adventurous, from what's written about her past conquests and the sexual escapades she carries out on herself, when alone.
Secretly filming a person within a personal capacity, is immoral and an invasion of her privacy. I don't condone that. It conveys a lot about the culprit doing it, compared to the victim being filmed.
Fair criticism, but I disagree a bit. For one, I know a couple of her ex boyfriends and they complained about how she was a dead fish in bed. That being said, I knew that when I married her butshe convinced me that we would work the ** problems out. In hindsight it was stupid of me... As far as protecting my ego; perhaps. But what I said is true. I guess I'm wrong for trying to look at my sexual history to determine if it was a trend.
I honestly believe she is a secret freak but has a major guilt complex. I believe she is damaged goods, and got taken advantage of and used after her escapades, so she became very conservative. But I do think she misses it, and acts out when she's alone.
As far as immoral activity, I know what I'm doing isn't right. But when you are in a sexless marriage with someone who Jills off 4 - 6 times a week, it made me crazy. It is easy for me to justify my behavior in my head because although I imvaded her privacy, she ripped my heart out and took a ** on it.
You think I'm a dirt bag, maybe your right. I also posted one of the files to a ** sharing site. I think part of me hopes she will find out