Account Login
I'm 17 and addicted to ** and want to be ** and abused.
Ok so here it goes, I'm 17 and live in the U.K. I first watched ** when I was age 9. Me and my brother, and my cousin would all turn it on and giggle At what we were seeing and how it made "in between our legs tickle" but it was never really something we understood, a few years later I started getting feelings, every time I was around an older male ( mom or dads friends, teachers, social workers) I would fantasize in my head about him abusing me, using my body, and doing variousness other forced acts with me. I ignored these thoughts at first but now they dominate my whole life, I work full time, in a restaurant, but my whole life revolves around **, I wake up in the morning and have to masterbaite to **, usually very strange or violent **, then as soon as I got home the first thing I'd be thinking is about **, every time I'm around a male I can't stop wishing he would abuse me, and I purposely put myself into vulnerable situations, I have in the past even lead boys on so they were super ** then said no to see if they would persuade me and take advantage of me, someone please tell me what an earth is wrong with me, I'm not a bad person but these thoughts won't go away, it could be something to do with my child hood, I suffered severe neglect up to the age of 8 and was passed around In the care system, but I'm so sad. I just feel like I'll never be able to have a healthy, normal relationship, because I don't feel happy or safe if I'm not being used, manipulated, and abused, so yeah. That's all really, thanks for reading... Bonnie.xo
Amasterdaddy at yahoo
Doubt you will respond, but hey, I think I might know you.
Elaborate?
UK, 17, turning 18 later this year, Bonnie Sp, went to hslc?
No sorry
Ah, ok, just sounded a lot like a friend I know
Thanks guys these comment were so helpful **
Nothing's wrong with you Bonnie.
I am the same way.
Not easy to control, but it's better when you have a partner that understands you:)
I think looking at the ** had something to do with it as long as no one sexually abused you. I look at ** and after a while, you do have thoughts. If you weren't sexually abused, then maybe it is just part of what turns you on. If you get in a relationship, as one poster said, perhaps you can relate that you would like a little rough play.
If you really wanna get to the bottom of your issues and work them out, I'd be willing to offer you some semi-professional help to the best of my ability via email (since real professional help is almost impossible via the internet). If not, I could just offer some little advice or two here in the comment section.
Your fantasies don't have to be all negative, just as long as you don't let them rule your life and don't expose yourself to any real, serious harm or danger too far beyond your control.
If you're interested in the help I'm offering, just reply below with your email and I'll contact you. If not then just say so and we'll make do with a few pointers. :)
Best regards! B.
Well Bonnie, get into a relationship and talk to your partner, role play is great. I had the same fantasy and shared it with my husband. The next day he pretended to go to work, half an hour later he came in dressed in a boiler suit and balaclava. He ripped in night dress off and ** me roughly calling me a ** and spunked in my mouth for the 1st time, then tied me up and left me naked for an hour, then came back stuck a ** in my ** and wanked over my face and **. Then he went out for a couple of hours. He came home and made love to me in his normal gentle way. Once a month he will set up a ** scenario. We have done this for 20yrs