Now what?

So I was talking to a friend today. We always say I love you to each other when we talk, but we meant it in a friend way, as far as I knew. But today we got into a serious discussion about why we love each other, and basically the final decision was that it isn't just a friendship kind of thing anymore. But... Where is this coming from? We haven't seen each other in almost a year because he's been at boot camp, and he's going to leave for Iraq soon, and chances are we won't get to see each other before that either. And more importantly, I have a boyfriend. I have 8 million reasons to break up with him, and we are kinda at some stage of the breaking up process, but still. The last time we had the "I don't think this is working" talk, My boyfriend said that if we do end up breaking up, he would consider it temporary, and wouldn't dream of being with someone else even if we weren't together. Which he could be just saying, but judging by the way he was sobbing while he said it, I doubt it.

But anyway, the friend. He's not the most reliable person. I got to know him because he was dating another friend of mine while engaged to the mother of his kid. Him and the kids mom aren't together anymore, and the other friend now absolutely hates him. She has no idea I still talk to him, and would probably refuse to talk to me if she knew.

As far as I can tell, the best choice I have is disappearing completely from everyone's life

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