Not sure why I'm confessing but I guess I just need to get this off my chest. My husband and I have had a great relationship and s** life for the last 8 years. A few months ago we started hanging out with a friend of his from high school and his wife. His friend is quite attractive and he likes to flirt with me. Until 2 weeks ago I thought it was just flirtatious fun. Anyway everyone had a couple to many drinks and the friend and I ended up alone on the back porch. He seized the opportunity to seduce me. I was flattered. After he got real close to me and started caressing my face one thing led to another and we ended up having s**. His friend keeps calling me trying to hook up with me again. I'm confused but thinking about telling my husband?

Feb 8, 2020

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  • I think every situation is different. Don’t listen to folks who tell you how and why you should do something. It’s not their’s yours.

    Do you love your husband? Do you wish you hadn’t done it? Do you want it too happen again? Ask yourself some of these questions. It might tell you a lot.

  • Don't tell your husband right out, bring up a subject similar and see what his answer is, if he is OK about talking about such a subject then slowly bring out maybe some facts and see his reaction, I'm a fine one to write about advice, I cheated on a few occasions and for the life of me don't understand why, we have an open marriage

  • This idea is brilliant! Another way forward could be to do the old "Honey, last night I had the weirdest dream!" thing and then go from there...

  • There are only 4 thing that can happen here and none of them are good.

    1.) You tell him, and because he is a strong man with a sense of self-respect, he leaves you. This sucks for you, but at least your man is a real man.

    2.) You tell him and he doesn't leave you. This may sound good on the surface but it's actually very bad. Because it means he is a weak man, without a sense of self-respect. While you may be initially happy and try to justify his actions as strength, deep down, you will have lost a lot of respect for him. Your sexual desire for him will decrease accordingly. You already cheated on him now, imagine how much more you will want to cheat on him once you have much less respect for him.

    3.) You don't tell him and he finds out. Then he either does situation #1 or situation #2. Again neither is good.

    4.) You don't tell him and he never finds out. While many short-sighted people might think this is the best situation after they cheat. This is probably the worst thing that can happen. Because If you have any sense of logic, for the rest of your waking life, you will be your worst critic. This is a terrible thing to do to yourself. Even if you try to justify your actions you will always know what you did to the man who loves you the most. His friend will know what both of you did and you can NEVER take that away. You will torture yourself for the rest of your life with your husband. The only way to end this torture is divorce or admitting what you did. And it then goes back to situation #1 or #2, but only after you suffered for years.

    My only solution is for you to admit what you did and allow him a limited time free pass to sleep with other women as compensation while you remain sexually loyal to him. After he gets his compensation, you can both return to your relationship as equals, with mutual respect, and foster a new love. But this relies on you being willing to suffer the same pain you caused him and him being willing to go for it.

  • Another possibility is that you tell him and he finds it hot!!!

  • OK, it simple. DO NOT TELL HIM!

    That happened with me, I told my husband. He was calm, but packed his things a left me. No matter how I begged for forgiveness.

    I lost my best friend, and the man I love because I told him about my stupid action. I never went with the guy after he left. I hate myself for doing it. I ruined my f****** life.

    Two years later, his friend turn up dead.

  • On the bright side, it shows that you have good taste in men. Your ex-husband is a real man. He doesn't take s*** from anybody.

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