Found out, feeling weird

I found out through a weird conversation that a friend of mine used to be close with some online figures (Anna Proser and NateWantsToBattle) and decided to check them out from curiosity as he really talked them up for the most part, and it seemed like things they'd done were up my alley. But seeing old photos of them and my friend and knowing some of their personal details, specifically that they're now engaged and how their past relationships were handled, has made me feel weird about pursuing their content, despite being very intrigued by it all. I feel almost guilty in a way, like I'm not welcome. It doesn't affect me personally that this guy cheated on his ex fiancee with this gal, but it makes me feel so dirty to hold their personal business. It really put a damper on my friend and I's relationship as well, because his history with them was thrown on me quickly and without hesitation. None of it affects me, but it weirds me out how I just have all this private information on people I'll never meet, and my friend just laughs it off saying he "did his time" with them, and ends the conversation. It's like walking in on someone going to the bathroom, multiplied by a thousand, just embarrassed and ashamed over knowing this stuff. How am I supposed to vent this out of my head without sounding insane? Do I just silently deal with it and try to forget it all? Maybe getting it out here will help, but dang.

Apr 26

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