Closet Married 50's Bi Crossdresser

I have worn ** for many years (since I was 11) over the last 35 years I began to wear ** and stockings under my male work clothes and when the wife is gone or I am away I dress fully fem. I have shaved legs and underarms as well as my panty area. I love being freshly shaved and wearing a ** bra and panty set with new thigh high stockings. The issue is that my wife has no clue that I do this or that I love sucking ** or receiving **. My ED has lead me more and more to bottoming for men which I now like much better then ** with a woman. My wife has lost interest in ** a while back and as of now we have not had ** in 3 years. I want to tell her about my love of girls clothing, that I wear **, stockings and bras to work and that I want her to feminize me full and allow me to dress as a female at home and to find a dom or top lover for ** how would any of you folks tell your partner? ps. if she wanted a male lover for herself since I don't satisfy her that would be good too and I would not mind.