I love him. I love him. I can see myself with him. It makes sense to my heart and imagination. My mind however pauses me and slows me down every now and then. I cannot be with him. He's my best friend. I cannot risk losing my best friend for a relationship that might not last. Even worse is that it probably would last if it were only up to us. I can't be with him. My parents and family wouldn't approve. But I am so in love with him. I'm not the rash type of girl whatsoever. But it's so clear to me how great we'd be together. I know he loves me too. I know he's aching to be with me. I know he has a future for the both of us in his head. So do I. But he knows as well as I do that being together is a huge risk and battle we may never win. Seeing him everyday is a bittersweet journey. I breathe him, but the more I'm around him the worse this gets for me. I know he loves me. And I love him, but we say nothing to each other. We got close a couple of times then acted like nothing happened just so we don't need to analyze or risk anything. What do I do? I'm lying to everyone including him and myself. Acting like he's nothing more than a great close best friend.