Addiction and Relationships

I've met the man I'm with now about 4 years ago. For the longest time, we were only friends and up about six months ago we started dating seriously. He has struggled with a drug addiction for the last couple of years and finally decided after all of the hurt he has caused, to get clean.

For the last couple of months he has been in a methadone treatment program and has done so well. He's getting back on his feet and becoming a productive member of society, atleast I thought.

I just found out this morning that he was out all night smoking crack. My heart is so broken and I am beyond depressed. We have been through H*** together and even separated for a while so he could get himself together, but I suppose it was in vain. I am madly in love with him and he feels that way about me too, but now the monkey on his back is putting him in a choke hold again, and methadone doesn't do anything against crack use, and he could develop a new problem.

I am at my wits end but I feel as if I'm supposed to be in his life and he's supposed to be in mine. I would love nothing more than to stay with him and see him through this, but sometimes, especially now, I doubt his sincerity about sobriety but I still can't bring myself to not believe in him. It's so maddening and complicated to explain.

I know how my family feels about this, but I would really love to hear an unbiased third party's opinion. Anyone been in this situation before? I just need some advice I suppose.

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  • I'm sorry to say this, but I have *never* met a person who has successfully battled an addiction to crack. I've know quite a few people who have tried, and most are successful for at least a while, but not one has stayed clean... Once they go back, it's usually for good. Perhaps others have had a different experience.

    My advice is, enjoy this persons friendship while it lasts, but avoid a relationship at all costs. Most likely, they will end up in a bad place, in jail, or probably dead.

    Spoken from someone who has lost all too many friends to this horrible drug.

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