Ex-Wife

Each night when I go to bed my last thoughts are about my ex-wife. She succumbed to cancer 20 years ago but every night when I put my head on that pillow thoughts of her once again flow through my mind about the first time I ** her and the last time also. Wonder what that means? I( don't know. we had some really rough years in our marriage. Never enough money, always hand to mouth and three little boys. The first time was when I moved into a thee bedroom apartment with 6 other guys. I brought her with me to look the apartment over. While in the hallway I noticed a bedroom with a mattress on the floor. I tugged her into the room and locked the door. It wasn't long until my hands were massaging her ** as we were kissing. I turned to check the lock on the door while she moved onto the mattress. From then on that was our ** room and only a few minutes later with 7 other guys in the apartment I was ** her.
The next day, I went to pick her up. I was going to take her back to the apartment and ** her again. But when she got into the car she informed me we should not have done what we did as she was engaged to a really swell guy back in Illinois and it was wrong. I told her bluntly, we can't undo what was done and that I had no regrets and if we were going to keep seeing each other then she best get used to the idea of getting ** cause I was not going to go back to that friend zone. I liked ** and if she hangs out with me we are going to ** every chance we get. She seemed a little perturbed, got out of my car and went back inside and I left. Two days later I pulled up at her dorm and started inside. She met me at the door, grabbed my hand and almost dragged me back to the car. I drove back to my apartment and when we walked in the door, she head straight for the bedroom. I closed the door as she was peeling out of her clothes. That was our 2nd **. 9 1/2 years later, three kids...she was bored and wanted something else.so she divorced me and moved a dead beat trucker into our bed. But after he and her broke up she wanted me back...I went back for one last ** and got it. Then I moved on with my life leaving her behind. I really did miss ** her even though for most of our married life she was a dead ** until our last one. On Feb 6. 2004 while I was being prepared for heart surgery, she walked into the room. My current wife got up to talk with her. They spoke in hushed whispers and she kept looking and my direction and finally turned to leave, she waved by to me. I sat up and asked my wife what she wanted. All at once the room was dark and my wife was gone. When she returned I asked her if she had run into anyone. She said no why. I told her of Linda coming in the room. After my surgery and while recovering, we get a call, my ex-wife passed away that morning about 400 miles away from us.