Summoning a Wedgie Monster

It was a dark and stormy night as four nerdy friends made their way into the school. Desmond, Adam, Zachary and Wesley snuck into the school, with bags full of supplies. Their plan? To summon a creature. “Are you guys sure this is a good idea?” Wesley whimpered. “We could be caught!”

Adam scoffed at his friend. “Man up Wes. You afraid a ghost is gonna appear?” He teased. “Ooh~ Wesley!~ I’m gonna haunt you!~”

“Knock it off Adam.” Zachary sighed as he turned to Desmond. “Although, Wes does have a point. The janitor could still be here.”

“Zach, it’s almost midnight. There’s no way there’s still people here.” Adam said. “We got the whole school to ourselves!”

“Calm down!” Desmond snapped as the four walked through a door and down some stairs. “Wes, we wouldn’t be doing this if there wasn’t any other alternative. If we’re gonna beat Jack and the other **, we'll need an ace up our sleeves.”

Adam wasn’t done teasing poor Wesley. “Maybe we’ll summon the wedgie ghost. We can give Wes as tribute!”

Wesley gulped. “Th-the w-w-wedgie ghost?”

Adam flashed a cheeky grin. “Some say it’s the spirit of a nerd wanting to get revenge on bullies, others say it's a bully who still wants to cause pain and humiliation from beyond the grave. All anyone knows for sure is that when the wedgie ghost strikes, it’s like a wedgie you’ve never had before!”

Wesley looked as if he was about to wet himself. Zachary patted his friend on the head. “The wedgie ghost isn’t real, Wes. Adam’s just being a **.”

“Guys! Quit arguing!” Desmond sighed as they walked through a door. “We’re here.”

The group had made their way to the school’s basement. It was giving everyone the creeps. The four took off their bags and took out the materials. “Chalk. Candles. Lighter. Everyone got a pair?” Desmond asked as he took out a pair of red briefs.

The other three nodded. Adam took out a pair of neon green briefs, Zachary took out a pair of white boxer briefs and Wesley had alien printed briefs. “These are my favorites too…” Wesley sighed as Desmond finished the pentagram.

The four nerds placed their underwear inside the ring and stood at the candles. “Everyone ready?”

“Mhmm.”

“Uh… I guess.”

“Let’s get this over with.”

Desmond smiled as he began to chant. “Oh mighty deities, hear our plea! Give us the power to defeat our enemies and make us the coolest kids in college!!”

The four stood there in anticipation. Wesley jumped when one of the boilers made a sound. “Des? You sure you said it properly?” Adam asked.

“Yeah! It says right here!” Desmond says, pulling out a handbook. “Look. Draw a pentagram, light the candles and place your desired offerings in the center! We did just that!”

“Man, I knew that magic woman was scamming us.” Zachary groaned. “Should’ve listened to me Des. I knew we should’ve left.”

“Maybe we should try it in Latin, you can speak it, right Wes?” Adam suggested.

Desmond and Zachary looked towards Wesley, who smiled nervously. “Well… I-I mean, yeah. B-but it’s rusty! I’m not that good at it!”

“Please, Wes.” Desmond said. “Do this for us, just this once? Aren’t you tired of getting wedgies everyday?”

“Or getting locked in your locker?”

“Or getting your head shoved into a toilet?”

Wesley looked around and gulped. He did not want to summon a demon, but he also didn’t want to disappoint his friends. He sighed heavily. “I guess I can try…”

“Atta boy, I knew you weren’t a total wimp.” Adam chuckled to himself. The other two just rolled their eyes.

Desmond handed Wesley the booklet, and he began to read it over. “Okay, I think I got it.” Wesley said nervously. He looked up and saw his three friends looking at him. He gulped and began to chant.

"O magna numina, exaudi preces! Da nobis potestatem inimicos nostros debellandi, et nos in collegio frigidissimos facere haedos!”

The four pairs of underwear began to float and spin in a circle. “Wes! I think you’ve done it!” Zachary exclaimed as a bright light burst from the center. The boys could feel cold air radiating from it.

Their excitement soon turned to dread as the light faded, revealing a horrid creature. It was a black mass with inky tentacles squirming out from it. The boys were frozen in awe and fear. “W-what is that?” Adam muttered.

An eye appeared and stared at Adam, who’s face had gone pale. A tentacle shot at the nerd, wrapping around him and lifting him into the air. “**! Guys! Help! PLEASE!” Adam wailed as another tentacle snaked down his pants, yanking his cat paw patterned briefs out. “AGH **!” He cried out.

Desmond, Zachary and Wesley watched on as their friend was being wedgied by… whatever that thing was! “I-It’s the w-wedgie g-ghost!” Wesley exclaimed, as the eye then turned to them. The trio immediately ran back from where they came. “Wait! D-Don’t leave me here!” Adam wailed.

The three ran back up the stairs, and was about to run out the door when black portals opened up. Tentacles emerged and flailed rapidly, trying to find their next victim. Zachary bit his tongue. “Alright! We should split up and-”

“Zach that’s a ** terrible idea! Everyone knows if you split up they’re gonna get you!” Desmond snapped as they ran across the hallways, trying their hardest to avoid getting caught.

They ran into a lecture hall and shut the door. “What the ** did you summon, Wes!?” Zachary exclaimed, catching his breath.

“I-I don’t know!” Wesley whimpered. “I just did a rough translation of what Des said!”

The two looked over at Desmond, who was looking out the door window. “Alright, I’ll admit I might’ve not thought this through enough.” He said, turning to find incredulous looks on his friends' faces.

“You don’t say? And now Adam’s probably dead from the demon thing! If that monster doesn’t kill you, I will!” Zachary growled angrily.

“Um, g-g-guys?” Wesley stammered, absolutely terrified.

The two turned to see a giant eyeball staring at them. “**!” They screamed as they ran out of the classroom. More tentacles erupted from portals, one managed to wrap around Zachary’s leg, making him trip.

“Zach!” Desmond and Wesley shouted as they went back for their friend, only to watch another tentacle go into Zachary’s pants and pull on his Ben 10 boxer briefs.

“AGH **!” Zachary shouted as he was dragged through a portal. “GUYS! HELP!”

“Zach! Hang on-” Wesley tried to get his friend, but Desmond stopped him. “We can’t save him Wes, we need to save ourselves!”

Wesley hesitated but nodded, although he did feel bad for leaving Zachary behind. Out of them all, he liked him the most.

Desmond and Wesley dodged more tentacles, and could see the exit. “There! We’re almost out!” Wesley exclaimed. They were actually going to escape!

Then fate played a cruel trick on Wesley.

The boy didn’t notice a single pencil on the floor. He stepped on it and slipped, falling on his **. “Desmond!” He exclaimed.

Desmond was at the door. He turned to see Wesley getting up, and the tentacles quickly approaching. He looked at his friend with remorse. “I’m sorry Wes! It’s either you or me!” He exclaimed, running out the door.

“DESMOND!?” Wesley shouted as he turned around. Tentacles were quickly approaching him. He shut his eyes and curled up into a ball, knowing his fate was sealed. “Pl-please don’t hurt me!” He begged.

To his surprise, the tentacles didn’t touch him. In fact, they completely ignored him. Wesley opened his eyes and got up, seeing the tentacles surround him. “Uh… what is happening?” He whispered to himself.

The silence was interrupted when Wesley heard Desmond scream. “Ah! **! Get off!” He turned to see the leader of the group getting pulled in the air by his tighty whities. The nerd was then pulled into a portal, seemingly sent to wherever Zachary and Adam were.

“Uh… are you gonna hurt me, or?” Wesley asked nervously. The tentacles lowered, as if they were awaiting instructions. One tentacle came forward and gave Wesley something. “My favorite undies!” He exclaimed, grabbing the alien printed briefs. “Um… thanks?”

The tentacles moved for an eye to emerge in the darkness. Wesley gulped. “Y-you aren’t gonna hurt me, r-right?”

The eye just stared right into Wesley's soul. Then the tentacles began to wrap themselves around him. “Wait no! Stop! Please!” He exclaimed before slipping into unconsciousness.

When Wesley opened his eyes, he was in his room. He got up and groaned. He had a slight headache, and was unusually chilly. He looked around and breathed a sigh of relief. “It was all just a dream. Thank God.”

He texted his friends and went on to his morning routine. When he checked his phone after showering, he noticed that no one responded. Zachary didn’t even say good morning to him.

“Weird, I wonder what they're doing.” He wondered as his mother called him down for breakfast.

His questions would soon be answered, as when he got to school, he saw something that made shivers go down his spine. A crowd was surrounding the school statue, where three young men were hanging in just their underwear. Adam, Zachary and Desmond all look like they’ve been through ** and back.

Wesley felt horrible for them… well mostly for Zachary. Adam was being a **, and Desmond did try to abandon him. Still, they were his friends.

From the corner of his eye, he could’ve sworn he saw a black mass with a giant gazing eye staring at him.