it hurts

theres been 3 times now that a guy way older than me has tried to taken advantage of me....
the first time i was 10 or 11....he was 16...he took turns fingering and eating out me and his step sister.....
the second time i was 12 the people i babysat for came home and since it was late i was just going to stay there, my little sister was there with me when the dad called me into the living room i thought he was going to pay me but once i got out there he grabbed me and kept saying kiss me...kiss me brittany i pushed away, i went in their sons room with my sister and stayed up all night afriad he would come in there...
the third time i was 13 i was at my neighbors house and they started drinking i thought it would be fun so i got drunk the people i was drinking with were only 19 and 20 but they were married and had 3 kids the husband layed down on the fouton with me when i started crying....apparently hennesey makes me emotional but anyways it was dark and i was crying and he started makin out with me every time i looked up it looked as if something was in the corner days later i asked him what happened that night...of course he told me but he said dont tell my wife...turns out that dark figure was his wife .....and she used this night in her divorce case.....i really dont know what makes these people attracted to me....but i really hate it....and i just wish i didnt have to live with these secrets.... i want to tell my mom, but if i so im afraid she'll think that i wanted this to happen and she wont love me anymore.


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  • Sorry you can't enjoy s**.

  • i really wish i had the courage to tell her....thank you for that advice, it may not seem like much but its the most inspiring thing for me...

  • She won't blame you. She'll understand and just want to help and protect you. Talking about it will help you feel better and she may be able to give you some good advice to prevent it from happening again.

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