I confess too much...usually to my

I confess too much...usually to my partner. I haven't learned to keep things to myself, which gets me into lots of trouble. If I am attracted to someone else, I share it with my partner. Whenever I do, think or feel something that might bother my partner, I share it. I guess I felt I was being honest and open, and that it was better to discuss potential problems before anything else happened. My partners view is that I have no capacity to fantasize and keep it a fantasy, since everytime I am attracted to anyone enough to want to be with them physically, I take it seriously. I do fantasize, about things I want to do. Am I broken because I don't deny myself the option to pursue my fantasies? Or because I don't have another option, such as fantasy only...I should clarify by stating I am not naturally monogamous, even though I have always respected my partner by living that way. We have discussed this at length, and have determined that some people are more comfortable with monogamy, and some with polyamory. My partner is more comfortably monogamous, but suggested we try an open arrangement. So far it has been mostly discussion, as my partner feels love is a necessary precursor to s**, and I don't. I feel s** is enhanced by love, but it is a separate set of feelings which exist independantly of love. As part of our agreement, we share if we are interested in anyone else, and so far, whenever I have been interested, it has caused arguments with my partner. The only interest my partner has had fell through before anything happened. We may try relationship counceling with an open minded therapist, if we can find one near us.

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  • I think you two don't belong together. You both want different things, and look at life and relationships differently, so why are you together? There is that feeling of love that is holding you together, when it is so obvious that you are not right for each other. It sounds like you have the upper hand, so why not spare this person the long term pain, and just leave already?

  • why are u even with this person? U have no concept of a real relationship. And seriously just learn to keep your mouth shut. Its not that hard.

  • haha...your gay right?? lol thats funny

  • your gay, right?

  • Well when you're attracted to someone else and you tell your partner, I see that as honesty. To me it would be comforting to have my partner share things like that with me, it would make me feel like they trust me and they have nothing to hide from me. Now if you've talked to your partner and explained how you feel about s** and love, your partner should understand that, and keep it in mind when you begin to express your fantasies.

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