Asexual

I've read a couple of posts mentioning asexuality so I thought I'd add my experience. This isn't gratuitous but I will list what we did.

I'd never heard of asexuality until we had a new coworker who said that she was asexual. (let's call her Jane). I actually thought it was BS, but she was a bit odd, weekends larping, weird conversations, made her own clothes with a Jane Austin vibe including pushed up ** (she wore to the office once and her supervisor warned her not to do it again), and she generally didn't fit in.

Unfortunately the women became cliquey and ostracised her, and I really hate the mean girl thing so I befriended her. We got quite close and I learned about her asexuality and her weird larping at weekends. After a while she couldn't take the atmosphere in the office and left, but we kept in contact.

When I split from my gf, Jane was a good friend and listener, and we got closer. She wanted us to be a couple but I needed **, a complete deal breaker. We agreed to try it out - it's not like she hadn't tried it before, it just wasn't her thing.

So we screwed and it was OK (yes, just OK), and she did ** (she said she expected to). Pretty soon we were in a full on relationship - I guess I put up with her weekends away larping and she put up with having ** on a regular basis. I indulged her with dress making, researched and bought her many fabrics, gave her a helping hand in making her outfits. She was also good fun when it came to my excessive **. Some acts were allowed, others not. It was a weird barter system! We lasted about 18 months and I'd love to be with her again if it ever became possible.

I'll break down where we stood on ** below. Where I say she was happy or ok with things, it was as enjoyable to her as reading a book or watching good TV, maybe not as enjoyable as going out for a good meal or sewing a costume! I could bring her to ** just as easily as I could anyone else and she enjoyed the sensation, or if she wasn't that way inclined on a given night she simply didn't climax - but didn't miss it. She only complained of a headache when she had one, she never restricted my sexual needs. Just think on that - she's asexual but more likely to agree to ** than many/most women are. She tried everything I wanted to try once, but I don't remember her ever suggesting anything. OK, a breakdown:

I'm bed, she was ok with: regular ** with any position that was comfortable, a ** if it replaced regular **, and especially if I did the work of moving her feet, my going down on her, my ** her to get me turned on for ** (she had a fabulous ** and hole), kissing her body so long as it wasn't for too long, giving her massages.

Things she actually enjoyed: dressing up on her period costumes or in ** maids / ** or any other type of costume, acting as a dominitrix, ballbusting, cbt, photography that was focused on her so long as we deleted it afterwards. (Thank goodness I could undelete!)

Ok with (at any time!): my massaging her feet, playing with her feet, washing her feet, sucking her toes, ** and ** on her feet, ** on her dirty underwear or stockings (but definitely not on clean items or on her shoes), or just taking myself off to bed to ** off so long as no ** was involved. Also I could buy her 'play shoes' that I could dress her in and ** on/in them (probably like larping to her). This was incredible for me, since I ** a lot and she really didn't mind if I was doing it on her or in her presence or away from her while she was reading a magazine or surfing the net etc., basically I had a free pass to ** over her feet just about any time.

She didn't enjoy or want to repeat: blow jobs, my ** her to **, **, **, period ** (I was allowed to use her bloodied tampons or pads for my enjoyment, just not where she could see me), being a sub, any kind of **, and ** was an absolute waste of time as it did nothing for her and made her insecure when I got aroused looking at someone else. Fair enough.

My conclusion:
I guess she liked stuff that involved dress up, was OK at anytime with anything that didn't require her active involvement, and OK in bed with a couple of standard things. I find it amazing that she was such an agreeable partner, in some ways better than most. Maybe because she couldn't empathise with how deeply my sexuality ran, so gave me free reign, and since I never pushed anything she didn't like.

I don't think all asexual people are the same, not even close. There's probably a broad spectrum just like hetero or gay etc etc. I just wanted to share my experience.