I hooked up with my best friends x boyfriend

I need advice I have known my best friend since I was in kindergarten and we have now known each other for 13 years she’s a big part of my life she’s like a sister to me and apart of my family we have had our ups and downs but nothing ever like this well it all started one weekend when I was with her and some friends her and her boyfriend broke up a while ago and I have known him for 4 years now and we are friends I have never had feelings towards him but on the weekend I had way too much to drink and I was extremely drunk and I’m ashamed of it I’m 17 also and me and him were talking and then he kissed me and I kissed him back I then told my friend and it then had happened again and I also told him to tell her because I felt so bad I started then to drink more because I felt bad and then everyone went to sleep and I was in her parents bed with him and we hooked up and he fingered me and I told him I didn’t want to have s** I told her the next day and she was upset and hurt it’s now been a week and we haven’t spoken I’m so scared I’ve lost her as a friend and if I could take it back in a heart beat I would and I am also on depression medication and when alcohol mixes with it, it doesn’t turn out good. Please give me advice

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