I am so sad. OK I am 44 and married to

I am so sad. OK I am 44 and married to a great guy. But I can't help I am in love with another man that happens to be my first love from 30 years ago. I have always known he would come back to me and one day he did. The problem is we are both married. I can't help I never stopped loving him and ended up with such a great guy in my husband Lucky is the word. Boo hoo most say but my heart can't help that I NEVER stopped loving my first love and when he called me that fateful day that was it. I tried, I told my husband and he said nothing, NOTHING. I told him my first boyfriend called me and he told me he loved me and wanted to be with me, my husband said NOTHING. Does anyone understand how badly that hurt me? Soon after that came the ugly word affair. I know that is the truth but how can a person that has never stopped loving someone have an affair if the love has been there for 30 years! He wanted me to leave my family right away and I would not but I am finally ready and now he is not. I have had many conversations with him about his teen children needing him sooo... my own stupidity has left me in the cold. My children are young adults. We grew up in church together but he got a girl pregnant and married her at 17 or I know we would be together. She left him while he was in the service away out of the country for another man. He tried to find me but I was married and he couldn't find out my last name. Then he got his 2nd wife pregnant He was 23 at the time so he married her. Well he is not an angel but he did have an affair with someone else before me. I never thought about cheating before not one day except I knew I would end up one day with my first love. So here I AM . I have repeatedly tried to break it off but now I think I have finally come close with the cruel words that I have said to him. Do I want to end it NOT one minute of any day. People say.... puppy love at 14 but I think you can have your heart crushed at 14 then again at 44 over someone you want but can't have. I will love this man until my dying day and I miss him so much I can't breathe. I am a professional person with a career and to the outside the perfect marriage and perfect children that would make any person proud. BUT I need to get him to get out of my mind and heart. You know the worst thing about an affair is you can't tell anyone or they tell so the only person I can talk to about missing him is him. Dumb huh?

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  • You should read your own confession to see how this first love is just a home wrecker and 2 things need to happen #1 live your husband cause you f***** that up and never had love for him!!!. #2 marry your ex love so you can get hands on experience of how it feels to be cheated on lied to and dumped like yesterdays garbage after all the years.

  • Stay with your husband, and cut off all contact with the other man.

  • Your husband was silent because he was shocked and didn't know what to say. You should just go ahead and leave your husband and go back to the old boyfriend, because it sounds like the two of you deserve eachother. Maybe then your husband can find a woman with a brain.


  • Uhhhhh I think there is an issue here besides the infidelity. Your husbands silence is a signal that you both need some marital counseling. You need counseling yourself for all the other stuff, but you also need marital counseling for you and your husband. Silence is not always good, as a matter of fact it can be a real pain in the ass!!!! Your ex is a mess too. Although it seems great, if you ever make it to the other side of the fence you might just realize that the grass is really dead and your husband has been on the green the whole time!! Get professional help, its your best option.

  • this guy makes you feel young but hes not serious hes selfish, if you leave your family for him it wont work out and your kids will never forgive you and it will all be for nothing, your lucky you have a loving husband, learn to need what youhave, good luck

  • Just the fact that your husband has not thown you out of the house is enough that you should feel like s*** and ask his forgiveness for what you have put him through. And your old boyfriend needs to grow up. Its bad enough that you have cheated on your husband and that makes you pretty low, but the old boyfriend has the morals of piece of s***. I had guys that get to play lover while the husband just does such a stupid thing as being a loving, caring, forgiving husband. If I was your husband I would seriously consider kicking that guys ass. Time to grow up tinkerbell.

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