** Dream

In my dream, I was the older blonde woman (idk why), and I was in a tent in the ** forest.
THE ** FOREST IN A TENT BY MYSELF.
Anyways, a creeper came up and the dream just sort of switched to the guy trying to ** me.
And I said, "I'll do anything! Just don't ** me!"
^^^I have and extreme fear of **. I even prepare myself in real life. I'm a ** weirdo.
Back to my dream- the guy told me to ** in front of him. (I hadn't even masturbated in real life, at the time). And I was pretty reluctant, but I did it, and shamefully(I feel so now), I enjoyed it.
I masturbated, and so did he, and I woke up sweating.
I am so ashamed. Was it me trying to make ** less-scary?
WHAT THE ** **?
I just want to crawl in a hole and stay there. I ** now, yes, but I did it in front of my '**' there.
I am so ashamed.