I think I might be gay...

I've been confused for a very long time now. I'm 21 and I haven't had a girlfriend in three or four years. I haven't had a big crush on a girl in more than that. But I have had small ones. Every once in a while too I'll see a girl in person, or on TV and I'll just be wowed, thinking I'd like to see more.
I've also had small crushes on guys. I was in love with another man a couple of years ago, and now I'm willing to admit that to myself. I've even opened my mind and let myself check out other guys recently... and I often like what I see and want more.
If I were to read the above and it was from someone else, I would say, 'yes, this guy is gay. How can he not realize it!! what an idiot!'
But for some reason I feel like I might be lying to myself if I decide I'm gay. I feel like I'll be kidding myself if I decide I'm bi. And I'll feel like I'm in denial if I try to tell myself I'm straight. And just going without a label is too complicated...
hellllppppp!!!

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6 Comments

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  • you'll get there, try it all! :)

  • I... think I might love you!
    The closest thing to what you described is called pansexuality.
    I like your style of thinking, but I guess I'm not 'advanced' enough to not feel the need to be part of a specific group, ie. gay, bi, or straight.

  • Ever stop to think that perhaps you're more advanced than most of society? That you might just be attracted to attractive features? Or that you're attracted to the person, not the genitalia? I'm not even sure that counts as "bi" or "questioning." Being interested in the individual person should be all that concerns any of us. Unfortunately, we're still quite hung up on genitalia. Try both. See how it goes. you can always label yourself if you end up not liking one or the other.

  • as bad as? there is no "bad" sexuality...

  • Thanks for your comment! The funny thing is I'm actually afraid that I'll end up coming out and realizing later that I'm actually more attracted to girls... imagine having to come out straight... that could p*** some people off...

  • youre gay.... there's no way in h*** you find men attractive and want more and can't be gay... dont be in denial go out and try it

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