I'm a 19yr old girl and I've had s** with 6 guys (over the course of 6yrs) and made love to 1 (my boyfriend). When I was 13, I was raped by my cousin and since then I've only found comfort in being with guys that I thought liked me. I went looking for love in all the wrong places. With each time feeling worse about myself. I've finally found true love and I've confessed everything to him, he truly is amazing but I can't live with myself. I hate myself so much that I cut myself. Sick? Wrong? No, watching the blood drip in the tub and feeling the pain flow though me makes me feel better. For this is what I truly deserve, nothing less than pain and suffering. I know these days, teenagers change s** partners often but I'm disgusted with myself. I wish I could be more for my bf, than some washed up, dirty, stinky s***. I must thank him for loving me...

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  • 6 guys is not that much. I have been with about the same and I am the same age as you, most of my friends are like 10+. I have also been raped, and when I told my bf (at the time) he did not believe me, and called me a s***. I know the pain you are feeling is from being raped and violated liek that. Have you thought about counseling? It doesn't make sense to keep punishing yourself for what some scummy a****** did to you.

  • Time heals everything. :)
    Let the past go. Focus on being an amazing girl now.
    start over.
    no self loathing. no cutting. no tears.


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