I was raped.
There. I said it.
It's taken me a while to admit that. For a long time, I wouldn't believe it. It wasn't rape. It wasn't a stranger. It wasn't in a dark alleyway. I wasn't drugged.
I didn't want to do it - but that didn't make it rape..right?
It was rape.
He knew what he was doing. He heard me. I definitely said it - more than once. Stop. No. Don't. It's all a blur, really, but I remember the look in his eyes. I remember his words - or lack thereof, in this case. 'Ssh'.
He didn't want me to speak. I was ruining the moment for him, protesting like that. He knew it was wrong. And still, he did it.
I don't know where to go from here. I wonder if he knows how much he ruined my life. I wasn't the happiest girl in the world before that night, but now there's something missing. The hope that everything will be alright.
I'm not sure why I'm writing this. I guess it's because it's the only way I can talk about it. Anonymously.

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  • i no how it feels to keep something like that bottled up. Not good. Im so sorry

  • If you say NO, it's rape. If you haven't given your consent, it's rape. It happens more than it's reported and more likely it's by someone you know. It's wrong. I was raped too..by a cop I was dating. Go figure. It's definitely something that stays with you. Can't lie about that. But you can move on. Speak with a therapist. Know that it wasn't your fault and that event doesn't have to define you or prevent you from living your life. You can move on. And one thing is for certain..there are good guys out there.

  • Ive been there raped by somebody I was in a relationship & never spoken of it... it was 9 years ago... dont know how to talk about it

  • How long ago was it...why don't you press charges instead of suffering silently...do you feel partly at fault for letting it go too far before saying no...? Lots of questions. Depending on the answers would determine the course of action you should take. Rape is a violent crime and an assult on you, but not exactly an assault like being punched in the face without cause because it has a sexual component to it. If you decide not to press charges or to kick him in the b****- hard- more than once- as an act of revenge, then I suggest you deal with it in a way that allows you to move on at peace with yourself otherwise it will dog you and all of you future relationships and that is not fair to them or you. Good luck.

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