I cheated, so what?!

Nice site; I cheated on my wife of 18 years twice. First time in 2002 with a very pretty cashier from Target, whom I met in the parking lot pushing carts, and second time in 2008 with an older dental assistant who was in rebound after a divorce. Neither one was a real relationship, both were very short term affairs. Blame me if you want, I don't really care. I cheated, so what?!

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  • "Hahaha... Your conclusions are totally screwed! I love my wife and I protected her from heartbreak by not telling her; I protected her from STD's because I used protection, just in case; I protected her from public humiliation by total discretion"

    YOUR CONCLUSIONS ARE SCREWED! You are the most pathetic, coward of a person I have ever seen anywhere! If you loved her, you wouldn't break a promise to her. A person who truly loves another would never break their promise because they love them for who they are and want nothing more but them. A person who f**** around, sleeps around is an dishonest person who is too scared to be honest of their desires with the person they are "with". you're just another brick in the wall. Too stupid to be honest but demand others be more than they.

  • Poster, you DO NOT love her. You do not care about her, you only care about yourself. You confessed here because somewhere in your subconscious you know that.

  • Say what you want. Say you protected her but is that she'll believe when she comes to know of this? No.
    Is that what you would believe if she were in your shoes and you and hers?
    Not likely.

  • Seems as if d******* stopped answering questions, guess its safe to say his wife found out and hes to busy working at pizza hut to pay the divorce lawyers off! So long f*** face:)

  • Here's a simple question since your so smart. Why did you get married and make vows to be faithful if you have choosen to cheat? Why not be honest with your wife and see if she wants to have fun to? Or is the truth that this is something you do to feed your ego. Really interested in how you justify this to yourself. Also, would you be so relaxed about the situation if you found out your wife was cheating?

  • ok so you cheated, so what? But thats the past now and u cant go back. As for the answer to ur question i dont think u shouldget too proud and cheat again ive bee caught before and lost a great guy and now im forever regretting it. Whats done is done just dont do it again. As it will cause u more pain when she leaves u and less time for her to move on. The guilty ones never move on

  • "You seem like a highly uneducated person"... lol. Totally wrong!
    Plus, I already know you will check back, and I'll tell you then what my background is.

  • Hmmm. You say you saved your wife from pain and that you feel no guilt for what you have done, but I don't think you really believe that. Why are you confessing this personal anecdote to the Internet, and therefore, the world? I am not a therapist or anything, but I always was told that people confessed because "confession is good for the soul", and by admitting a wrongdoing to another person is a way to alieviate guilt, which leads me to believe you feel guilt and also believe that what you have done constitutes a wrongdoing. If not, why confess with such a defensive tone, when there was no one to judge you as you wrote the post, almost as if you were already expirencing blame?

  • Sorry, but you didn't pay attention. I already mentioned: "Blame me if you want, I don't really care. I cheated, so what?!" I see no guilt in here. What you call "defensive tone" is actually "preemptive defensive tone", used just in case people remember on this forum all of a sudden that they have great values and start blaming me for a couple of "wrongdoings". And again: "...something is actually bugging me: should I do it again given the opportunity, or not?" There was no guilt, no defensive tone, and no acceptance of wrongdoing; maybe just a little English (dry) humor. See? Next time please pay more attention when posting something.

  • You say you are being preemptive, in case people on this forum develop "great values" and start "blaming" you, implying, at least on some base, animal level, that you believe those who seek to blame you for your adultery have great values. The real reason, though, I think you truly feel guilty, is how people on this forum responded to you. Because when you talk to The Internet, you are confessing to everyone and no one, you are confessing to everyone with every possible opinion on everything in the universe, a mass so flexible and pliable that it will only respond to you the way you respond to yourself. You will only get what you expect.

    You said, "Blame me if you want, I don't really care. I cheated, so what?!" The phrase "blame me if you want" suggests that you already expect blame. Following that sentence with the sentence "I don't really care" reminds us that you are a creature capable of being deeply affected by someone's opinion, that you are someone who could care, but doesn't. The exclamation point following "so what?" a phrase meant to imply apathy is especially enlightening, because instead it infers a desire for acceptance, as if you have already been judged and are resenting being judged, and are now trying to convince your judger that you do not deserve judgment. And if no one truly knows of your deeds but yourself, then who is judging you? "Society"? Anonymous isn't judging you, or wasn't, or wouldn't have been if you hadn't made it obvious you thought you were breaking some huge social taboo by cheating on your wife. Growing up inside the Internet culture I have learned that, like groups of schoolchildren, Anonymous will only tease and ridicule you about which you feel most defensive.

    People who are secure in their decisions and preferences don't ask "so what?" and certainly not with an exclamation point. They don't post their decisions anonymously on the Internet, expecting judgment, and then almost religiously check the responses to see if anyone has judged them. Secure people don't need acceptance or confirmation, they don't need some Anonymous person to affirm their existence, and they don't need it because they're secure. You are obviously insecure. Insecure and judging yourself, and then arguing with your own judgments and saying that you don't deserve to be judged, an internal conflict that I can only imagine to be fueled by either guilt or self-loathing or one of the other unpleasant emotions that invites the teasing of schoolchildren. Anonymous is responding to you the way you respond to yourself, and you are responding to Anonymous the way you respond to yourself, and in a way the exchanges on this thread must reflect your own internal struggle because if you are Anonymous and you are arguing with Anonymous, then you are really arguing with yourself, aren't you?

  • Maybe I'm just working for my PhD, doing some research work, testing a variety of possible answers as functions of independent variables like: name (anonymous vs. real name or nickname), claim, tone, gender, etc. That would make you part of a "more virtual" reality. Hypothesis: "I can predict if the claim was true or false based on participants' answers". Scary I guess?!

  • I'm eagerly waiting your reply to the guy above me MR. Cheater.

  • I'm not the person you were responding to, btw.

  • You are a total waste of a person. I hope your wife finds out and dumps your ass and.. guess who gets all the money if a divorce goes down because of your cheating? Well, let's just say...not you. You seem like a highly uneducated person, you really should have finished high school. And no, I won't be checking back here, so if you 'have a good laugh' don't waste your energy trying to inform me- I won't get it.

  • Your imagination reaches bizarre - "her coworker, the mailman, neighbor, guy at the grocery store, the teller at the bank" - I had a good laugh, by the way. Women don't cheat when they are happy at home, and she is. Men are the ones who cheat because they can, and I just could; but yeah, something is actually bugging me: should I do it again given the opportunity, or not?

  • Well honestly, I feel it's wrong, but why would that matter to you. It all depends on how your wife feels, Does she even know?

  • Of course she doesn't. Would anybody tell his/her wife/husband "Honey, I just slept with someone else for a change!" I think it's better this way - I don't have real feelings for either woman I was with, except my wife, so why would I traumatize her with an "affair"? Two actually. Does it make sense?

  • O_o You obvioulsy don't love your wife at all. Not enough to protect her from heartbreak, STDs, and public humiliation anyway. S***.

  • Hahaha... Your conclusions are totally screwed! I love my wife and I protected her from heartbreak by not telling her; I protected her from STD's because I used protection, just in case; I protected her from public humiliation by total discretion. By the way, how did you come up with those stupid conclusions? If you want to blame me, at least find something intelligent, ok?

  • Then maybe you won't care if your wife cheats on you..how do you not know she's not doing it with her coworker, the mailman, neighbor, guy at the grocery store, the teller at the bank etc. It's really not about blame..it's about being faithful. But that's between you and your wife and your conscience. You say you don't really care, then why are you confessing? Something must be bugging you.

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