I made myself throw up for the first
I made myself throw up for the first time today. It felt amazing. Like I was in control of my body. Like I could determine the outcome. I'm now addicted. It took 2 hours. I want to eat something. I need some help. I want to throw that up. And smile at the vomit, the scent, fact that I accomplished that and that I can determine when, where, how much, what. It's exhilarating.