I'm frigid

I'm a 26-year-old virgin by choice and I'm getting married in less than two months. In the past I've always had a strong s** drive, but from the moment I got engaged it started waning. As time goes on, I have less and less interest in ever having s** or engaging in the kissing and foreplay I used to enjoy. I really love my fiancé and can't imagine my life without him, but I am so terrified that I will feel violated when we have s**. I really wish I could tell him that I don't ever want to have s**, but that's not fair to him and I don't want to lose him. It's all so depressing.

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  • Read this book..."Restoring the Pleasure" by Penner and Penner. It will help you a LOT. (deals with this exact issue, actually, plus others)

    It helped me. I'll pray it helps you too.

  • Agreeing with the Anon above, you should inform him, and if you don't, and happen to "suprise him" on the honeymoon, your being selfish. I understand not wanting to lose him, but if you wait until the last second, it wont be a "Good bye, I still love you, but... I just can't do this" to a "Why the h*** didn't you tell me?" Chances are that you feel worried about s** changing your relationship from being smooth, and working like it is, to being a s** driven relationship. You may also have the common fear of being hurt when losing your virginity. It is OK to not want to have s** all the time, or even all that often, but unless it is a joint agreement, your basically lying to the poor man. And unless you tell him, the common rule "What he doesn't know can't hurt him" will be short lived. Tell him, try s**. If you can't stand it, at least you tried it. And if you feel scared of being hurt, there is no better man to try this with than someone that you trust and love. If you do decide to try s**, talk about it. Talk about it for a week if you must. But tell him to be gentle, and to be careful, and I'm sure that if he is the man you are describing him as, he will understand.

  • Issues maybe? You need to get professional help right now. If you marry this guy and he's unwittingly getting into a sexless marriage it's incredibly unfair. And it won't last. If he knows you want no part of s** and agrees to marry you anyway he's gay.

  • Hey, sometimes this happens. You've never done it and somewhere inside you're a little scared. But there could also be a hormonal issue. It can happen to men too. Go to the doc/endocrinologist and get some blood work done. It's happened to me. I've even known MEN that have s** drive killing hormone problems.

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