I don't know how to love
I have been in love with Michael for as long as I can remember. I loved him when he was in jail, through drug addictions and have taken care of him, as he has taken care of me. After 3 years of an off and on relationship when we first met, and then 8 years of "just friend"-ship we just had s** again, recently. It wasn't mind blowing, but it was having s** with my best friend. When I told him yesterday that I wanted to be a family and that I wanted to get back together again, he told me he didn't love me like that. He doesn't love me like that.
I asked him why he had s** with me, then. He said it was a mistake. We had s** at night and then again in the morning, and it was A MISTAKE! AGH!
Needless to say that the person that I've been in love with for all these years not loving me back hurts. I can get over it. I've been engaged twice since we broke up the 8 years ago, but it does suck. It is good to know what my options are, realistically and that I don't have to wonder, what if... when I do officially move on. I can be more selfish with my time, money, resources being as that we aren't going to share a life together. But we do share a life together, because he is still my roommate.