I'm transgender. I'm a guy, but I want
I'm transgender. I'm a guy, but I want to be a girl so badly, and I hate being a guy. I think of myself as being a girl... My mom knows but refuses to believe it and is uncomfortable talking about it, and I'm too afraid to tell my dad. Plus, I'm only 19, I'm shy, and I have few friends, and little money. I know I want to transition and become a girl, but I don't know how I'll even be able to do it. I even don't know if I can do it, especially when it comes to telling my dad.
I often fantasize about being a girl, and I even try on my mother's clothes when she's not around, even though she doesn't know. And, I think I'm attracted to guys, because I often think about how it would feel to be with a guy... but, only when I think of how much I wish I were a girl. That part still confuses me, a little.
But, I'm shy, and I've never been able to go out dressed as a girl, even though I've wanted to. I've never been on a date, or anything. And, I haven't been able to enjoy most of the things that I like, because I'm afraid of how people would react if they ever found out what I was really like.
I feel like my entire life is slipping away from me, and I don't know what to do. I wish I had just been born a girl.