Not so lost love

I feel like Isolde or Juliet. I am 24 happily married and pregnant, but I am and have been for 10 years in love with Joe. Lets start at the begging. When I was 14 I started working and I met a co-worker, Joe, who I almost instantly fell in love with. At one point I asked him out, well I was super shy and had a friend do it for me, he said no. We stayed good friends until he was fired. We described our relationship as a brother sister type. It was a lie I know but see Joe and I are a lot alike and we don't do well with sharing emotions...as you will see. I lost contact with Joe shortly after he was fired, he joined the military and about 6years later I received a text message it said simply "I'm in love with you." To this day that message: I can remember exactly where I was who I was with Its like time stopped for a moment, that has never happened before and prolly never will again for me. At the time I had to dismiss the text even though I desperately want to be with him, I couldn't he was living far far away and I was involved in something less like a fairy tale. We stayed friends after but eventually lost contact. Well 2-3 yrs later I was having a bad time in my marriage and I sent a email to Joe explaining 9 years of desperation and how destroyed my marriage was. He still felt the same and for a while I thought it was really going to happen I was finally going to be with my love. Well my husband found out, I stopped talking to Joe. I felt awful like a crazy person leading him on, I dont think he ever will forgive me for that..I truly believed we were going to be together it was not a game it wasn't a joke it was 100% real. A year or so later my friend informed me Joe was getting married and had a baby on the way. I somehow mustered up the bravery and felt a need to say congratulations (after 10yrs it only seem right) So I did, it was so hard but I did it and I meant it when I said I was happy for him, jealous of course but who was I to be jealous I was married as well. Its been almost a year and my friend the same friend who informed me of his wedding informed me he is divorced has custody of his child and is coming to visit in july, she says he asks about me sometimes of course he is on my mind everyday. My friend really wants me to go to lunch or something with them in july, I am going to do it.

I won't leave my husband, we are very happy, but If I could change things in the passed I would have never let him go. I would have told him exactly how I felt. Great love stories always end tragically, how I wish life was like a romantic movie..

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  • oh sweetheart, i know how you feel and how difficult that is. i really hope you can find happiness and peace with whichever path you choose. your story is so depressing for me bec im trying to let go of 'my joe' to try to concentrate on falling in love with my wonderful sweet husband the way i am with 'joe'(lol whose name is obviously not joe but whatever)...it sounds like you let your joe go for a long time and your feelings never faded. im so afraid this is always how it will be for me, and for you - in love with a soulmate thats just out of reach. you mentioned you were pregnant and happy, i am assuming you feel like i do then about leaving your marriage - that the heartbreak, loss, and shame youd feel over it would ruin your relationship with joe anyway if you chose to pursue on and youd never be happy. good luck. i hope you find peace and happiness, you deserve it. thanks for sharing your story.

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