Cheat is what u have become
I am a married man with a extermely loving wife and we both are 3 years into are marriage. Before we got married i was in a relationship with three women one of them being my wife. In face the first ever affair that i had was with my wife which lasted for 3 years and we broke off due to stupid circumstances . Once i got married to her i our s** life did not take off well due to my over the top fantacies about s** with really hot women which was not the case with having s** with her. Slowly this aspect of a poor s** life started affecting our daily affairs and we were not totally happy. But the strange part here is that both of us are really fond of each other and cannot think of a day without each other . I mean she is a perfect with all other aspects about marriage and 99% of our married life started sailing really well . But that 1% was still missing which was only because i am not compatible with her in terms of s**. In the last three years of our marriage we have only had s** less than 15 times to be frank. This had other effects on me wherein i used to m********* in her absence and keep thinking of having s** with every other women that i came accross . But recently i have encountered a very shameful experience because of which i cannot see eye to eye with me loving wife. I have had s** with a commercial s** worker and this guilt has been killing me since then. I dont know what was wrong with me to take such a drastic step and now i feel disgusted about the same every second. But i have realised that i will never ever do something like this and keep loving her all my LIFE!!
But please let what should i do not to get rid of this guilt as i am in a very difficult situation as i i know if i tell her she will leave me permanently and will be hurted forever.