I hate my older brother and wish he was

I hate my older brother and wish he was dead every day. I think about it constantly. I picture him getting hit by a car. and I smile when I think about it. And I think he deserves it completely. He's a disgusting horrible person who shouldn't have a single good thing in his life. He steals, lies, uses drugs, abuses his kids, neglects his kids, uses everyone around him for everything he can get and is a general piece of s***.
I don't love my little brother at all. I thought it was just because we fought so much as kids, but even now that we're both well into our 20's I still don't care about him in the slightest. I don't hate him. I just don't care that he exists. He's not a bad guy, he's just a loser. He has no personality.
Everyone would think I'm crazy if I told them this, everyone I know thinks I'm a saint. So I pretend every single day. and hate myself for feeling that way at all.

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  • I tried to get his kids. My parents tried. It came very close to working. It's complicated. We live in a state that cares less about the safety of children than about "uniting families" which in my opinion is just a nice way of saying, "we'd rather not deal with it because it costs money, so let's just leave children with abusive drug addicts"
    I hate Arizona.

  • If he's so horrible why don't you or someone in your family try to get custody of his kids? Childrn should not have to be abused and neglected.

  • just b/c it's not socially acceptable to hate ur family members doesn't mean it's wrong, or that ur a bad person. i mean, u can't really help how u feel, right? i totally hate some of my family members right now, and i'm not ashamed. but would u still hate ur brother if he cleaned up his life? i'd prolly forgive my family members if they sincerely apologised for hurting me and quit being complete douchebags. and feelings can change. for example, my parents had a nasty divorce and would not even speak to each other for almost 15 years. last year they both came to visit me, and drove together in the same car!!!!
    as human beings, we're cursed w/ these damn emotions, which make us imperfect. don't feel bad about it b/c ur feelings are completely normal.

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