My boyfriend was dying of a terminal

My boyfriend was dying of a terminal illness. I stuck it out for a couple years while he got sicker, but then I left him and married someone else. He's still alive, but he'll probably never leave the hospital again and I almost never visit him because it's too depressing for me, even though he's the one dying. I just couldn't watch him die, so I left him and he's almost completely alone.
I have a great life now too. I'm happy and loved and have everything I could want and he's dying slowly and painfully before he's 30. I pretend like I left him for a different reason and most people seem to believe me too.
Please don't comment, I just wanted to get it off my chest. I know what a disgusting human being I am.

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  • Put yourself in his shoes. . .go see him.

  • Dont feel bad...

    It's okay.

  • You did the right thing by marrying someone who fulfills you. You don't have to be a martyr in this life. Why do so many people think that the right thing to do is always some kind of sacrifice? It's not. We all have a right to make choices that make us happy. I'm sure he would be glad for you that you are happy. YOU DID THE RIGHT THING for the rest of your life. But, I also think that you should go see him. He will be so glad that you visited.

  • My boyfriend of eight years has just been diagnosed with a terminal disease. We have children. I love him. I understand your pain. He is twelve years older than me. I am still young and healthy. Why does my life have to end just because his is going to? Hard stuff. I know.

  • I didn't feel like getting into details on what terminal means, but wow people are so suspicious. It's not really's not terminal cancer or something. It's severe complications from diabetes. And I mean REALLY severe. It's a h*** of a lot of detail to get into.
    I did cheat though. A bunch. I came clean with him about some of it, but not all. He loved me anyway. He still loves me and I still love him.
    I go to the hospital and see him. He's been there for about 6 months now. I just don't go as often as I should, especially considering it's 2 miles away. I've been trying to call more often, because you guys are all right, he does need friends.
    He is dying though. I think about it constantly. It was just too hard for me to be there, I couldn't do it. I hate myself for that weakness sometimes. We talked about though, he says he understands.
    I just don't think I'll ever love anyone like that. My current relationship...I love the guy, I do, but it's not the same. I felt like this was my soulmate. In a lot of ways he's already dead. The guy I fell in love with is gone, that's for sure. He's been sick so long all he knows is pain. The short time that he wasn't sick during our relationship is a very distant memory.

    I don't know what else to say. It's good to just be able to say it. Whether anyone believes me or not.

  • To the genious above >>>>Terminal just means that eventually you will die.
    Go see him.

  • For the above comment.. she never said he was in the hospital for two years. and i would go see him.. im sure he is happy that you are happy but im sure he wants to see you as bad as you want to see him. be friends.. dont make him die without your friendship.. im sure he understands everything. and im sure its killing him to not see you... GO SEe HIM>

  • Terminal for OVER TWO YEARS.Yeah right.! They dont keep you in the hospital for over 2 years to die.Your story is full of holes.Perhaps you need to learn the definition of terminal.

  • 1st commenter: Maybe so. Maybe the right thing to do would have been to stay by his side. But then you would have been tempted to cheat. And what's worse you breaking it off and being with someone else or you cheating on a guy that is terminally ill and is going to die. Look I understand how you can be feeling a little guilt but only for not still going to see him. You can still be there for him as a friend. Right now that's all he needs is the love of a friend. I mean if you were together he couldn't satisfy your needs in anyway and you would probably be doing the same thing you are doing now. like I said before. You really did nothing wrong. Actually I think you did the right thing. Sooner or later you would have had needs and you had the courtesy to break it off and not cheat because cheating would have been easy. It's not going to be easy to watch him go but don't kill yourself in the process. Be there as his friend and have you happy life. Wish you well.

  • I know he understands, I just feel a tremendous amount of guilt for not being there for him when he needed me the most and putting my needs before his. We were together for 6 years, I feel like I owed him more than that.

  • That's beautiful advice from the above commentater. You could go see him just so you're present and "there". He probably understands why you left. It may be depressing for you to see him, but not as depressing for him, to be dying.

  • If you weren't married to him then you really had no obligation. I mean yeah it may look bad but in the end you were going to have to move on anyway so it's best that you did it soon enough to still have a life. And if he cared about you then he would want you happy and well taken care of while he's gone. So go visit him and stop feeling bad. You didn't give him the illness but atleast be there for him.

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