Losing it

My husband and I will be married a year next week and we've had some crisis' lately, house was flooded, car broke down, etc. When we got married I wasn't aware that he had a bad temper, he would never hit or hurt me but when he gets frustrated he destroys our things. I can't talk to him about it because he gets angry again and storms out, happiness between us now is few and far between. I can't discuss this with my friends, because they didn't like him to begin with, my family loves him and I don't want to mess up their view of him, so I have no one to talk to. If the anger issue doesn't taper out soon I don't think we'll be together much longer. I know he's the one I'm meant to be with, but with his temper it makes me want to re-evaluate my life and what part he plays in it. Since I have no one to talk to...here I am. Spilling my guts to strangers. Just needed to get it all off my chest before I blew up as well.

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  • My ex-wife was a raging alcoholic, and, would slam or bust things up often. Every time she did, I'd tell her..You clean it up or fix it, not me.. Cabinet doors, holes in the wall of her study (now my home office), break teapots her mother collected, and, slam doors so often and hard that the knobs and latches would work themselves loose. And not once did I clean up her mess or fix stuff.

    The only time I tried to stop her, she ran out of the house, fell in someone's yard, and, got into a car that stopped by. Instead of getting worried or mad, I thought to myself..Good..Let that poor woman who picked her up see this drunken anger and deal with it.

  • Oh honey. I am so sorry. I was also married for a year and 3 months. I know what you mean with the happiness being few and far between... We ourselves had anger issues and our fights would blow up into tremedous to-dos about nothing, it seems. It sounds like you still have hope left for your marriage though... Try counseling. It may be expensive, but well worth it to save your love for each other. If he is not abusive, and by abusive I mean verbally and emotionally, then by all means try your hardest to get into counseling. Maybe in the right environment, with you and him talking in bed while cuddling or something, express your desire and your concerns then. They have to be in the right state of mind to here things like that, and when you do tell him, tell him gently and tell him in the most non-accusing way possible. I hope I was of some help...

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