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Im a terrible person. Here's Why. I wished to be ** again.

My name is Arena. I was 9 when I was first molested. Then at age 11 I was ** by a strange man. He was the janitor at my school. I never spoke of it. Then at age 15 I was once again ** at a bon fire after a football game by 3 football players. One was my boyfriend. After they told the whole school, I was kicked off the cheer squad and ASAP was put into a "special needs" school. Where people just like me went to school. Whatever. Anyways... Now im 18 And I have a new life for me. No ** is happening anymore. But in the back of my mind I can sence that my boyfriend wanted to ** me. So I dumped him. Now I work at a "** Store" called "Ohhh La La;)" Its got all kinds of cool ** toys 'n' stuff. And I want to be **. I dont know why. I just do. Just wanting to be ** and having to keep it a "secret" just thrills me. Yes, Being ** was terrible, and very painful, dosent scare me anymore. I want it to happen again. I know thats terrible and sick and twisted. But Thats Why I Came Here. To Confess.

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I was **.

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    • That sounds so so cute! I wanna ** a pretty girl but am afraid of the cops so yeah that’s why I haven’t yet. I like the feeling thought of me making her o****** in my head as im ** her. And she denies it. My favorite thought is when I make her o****** that she falls in love with me and becomes clingy and obsessive of me. Girls that are ** should think of their ** as compliments. Cuz she made a man hard enough to want to go after her. And girls are made to please men. So she should be happy and pleased that she did a job well done and she knows her place as a ** toy for men. It’s really cute that way.

    • Me too

    • Listen ** if you want to get ** you are consenting. which means its is not **. By definition ** is sexual assualt without consent. you saying you want it consenting. you ** idiot!!!!!

    • I’ll do it

    • ** is of course is an illegal and traumatic experience.

      The issue most people don't realize is that ** isn't 100% brutally painful/traumatic. While forced & nonconsensual its not always a horrifically torturous experience like being beaten to a pulp. There are those instances which are absolutely horrifying. But in a lot of instances of ** the victim is being used for pleasure and/or being forced to experience pleasure. For the victims that "give in" they experience a kind of pleasure being completely submissive, "letting go" of all thought, all responsibility & all guilt. It takes away any religious or social guilt over having perverted sexual desires because you didn't have a say in the matter. There is also a tremendous sexual attraction to the "Taboo".

      Because of these aspects victims that do "let go" during this traumatic encounter can experience intense sexual pleasure which can match or override the traumatic aspects of the assault. Thus when they look back on the experience they have very mixed feelings about it.

      When sexual desire is low they tend to remember only the traumatic aspects. Other times when in a more aroused mindset they can then find themselves remembering the intense pleasure of the experience & desire to experience again which is further enhanced by the sense of taboo. But in a refractory period, the guilt of having those desires for something so perverted & abhorrent in society comes crashing down on you & self hate results.

      ** fantasies are not something abnormal. As shown by many people who haven't been ** having fantasies of it. It's just that ** victims also have real trauma associated with their desires which causes confusion & guilt. The key for ** victims who experience this is to accept your own sexual desires (regardless of how you were forced to experience them) & separate those from the trauma of the sexual assault. Then strive to find safe & consensual ways to experience those sexual desires.

    • Interestingly enough, ** fantasies are actually quite common. Obviously, real life ** and a consensual role play involving feigned non-violent aren't the same thing, but "rapeplay" has occasionally helped victims to understand their trauma (or, in even rarer cases, feel empowered by voluntarily giving up agency rather than having it forcibly taken).

      What happened to you was horrible and senseless and words cannot express how disheartening it is to know that someone went through that. It was not right for the cheer team to punish you for being a victim, nor was it right for your school to kick you out either, but you should know that having a ** fantasy does not make you a bad person. Being a ** victim does not make you a bad person. Actually committing ** is what would make you a bad person in this scenario.

      I recommend finding ways to explore this desire in a !!!!!!!!safe and consensual!!!!!!!! manner— sites like Blue Moon are great for exploring ** without the risks of irl interaction, but that's just what I would do. Whatever you do, make sure both you and your partner know the boundaries of consent, and ESPECIALLY make sure that you both know that consent can be withdrawn at any time— since trauma is involved, it's VERY important for you to have a way out if things get to be too much.

    • *feigned non-consent
      Autocorrect is a blight

    • I love feeling **, and have always fantasized about it with every person I slept with. Im a bi 21yo woman in college. I always pin my own arms under me and feel forced. My recent bf Tony, recognized this and loves me so he said we can work with this for me. Now he ties me to the bed naked, and blind-folds me, and a stranger comes in to ** me. OMG the ** is amazing! We are reading the book series "Chasing Her Fetishes" by KK Foster and following what she does in the book. OMG ** ** IS HOT! My bf never lets me see the Stranger or know them. Like in the book series, sometimes Tony abandons me to the stranger and sometimes he stays and humiliates me during. I get the wettest and biggest ** the hardest when Tony tells me the strangers refuses to pull-out, and is going to ** inside me. OMG i need to order the next book now. I am turned on confessing this.

    • I want to share how i was taken. Email me prince1065-top@yahoo.com

    • Ur dumb

    • You’re probably submissive.

    • Grow up all of you you think is a joke it is not

    • Yeah, tell that to all the cops that give body cavity searches against someone’s free will then get back to me.

    • Wow really you are all sick if you think this is ok
      I would never think this is ok

    • I was molested by my mom bfs but after the first time I started it like it and want get ** and just did some messed things

    • Same

    • I posted this I had a lot happen to me and did some some ** op stuff, why ????

    • It hurts

    • I was ** b4 3 times

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