I hate how weak I am...

I'm working hard to keep my relationship with a girl who cheated on me, lied to me repeatedly, and broke my heart in the cruelest of ways. She leaves me alone at night, only calls when it's convenient for her. I try my hardest to show her how much I care; but it doesn't amount to anything. We've been together almost 2 years. I'm not me anymore; I hate how weak I am, and how I tell myself that I need her. I loved her since the moment I met her, I can't trust her at all anymore. She was the most amazing girl in the world, but she changed. I have no direction in life because I'm in shambles over her all the time. I can't bring myself to leave. I'm just tired of working so hard to get nothing from someone who's not even close to the amazing girl I started dating. I don't think I'm perfect, but I deserve more.

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  • I have been in the same situatuin fr 3 years and two kids,am happy its over with

  • You already know the answer.. your just scared of not being able to prove to her that you "love" her...You already know she's not the same person, and you said it yourself... So you definitely know, and you already know what to do... Dump her ass and GET LAID! F*** YEAH!

  • Find another girl and get laid so you can frget about her.

  • Thank you all for your comments. We talked for a long time, she approached me, she said "I love you" first, and everything stemmed from there. We got along amazingly, and everything seemed perfect for the first year and a half. I don't want to feel like I was just a safety net for 2 years. She kept saying I was unlike any guy she ever dated. We seemed to have a deep intimate connection that held us together. It felt legitimate and every thing we shared felt wholehearted. Until she cheated on me, lied to me, deceived me over and over again but she won't leave me, and I can't bring myself to cut her out of my life. I don't know what changed, or if nothing ever did and I just now found out about one of her digressions. I don't want to buy into statistics or a chart that says why people cheat and people lie, but I think she's bored. She said I'm unlike anyone she's ever dated, and the truth of the matter is I'm a pretty straight-laced guy. Perhaps just the safety of knowing I wouldn't do anything questionable attracted her, and my devotion to her fed into her comfort. She didn't have anything to worry about from me, and I gave her more compassion as time went on. I think that allure died and she wanted something edgier, (based off the type of guy she cheated with.). But I try damn hard for her, I always have. I felt I always provided for her emotionally, physically, and intellectually. And she always said and seemed to like it. On the outside our interactions are the same. The same kiss, the same terms of endearment. But since everything happened it just feels like a hollow showcase of what we once were. I want to work towards someone who will do equally for me. I'm tired of trying for nothing, I'm tired of not having a voice. I'm tired of this f****** rut that I can't help but to be in. This whole thing has made me lose sight of me, and if there was ever an interest she had for me then surely in me being so muffled now has cloaked any resemblance of the person I once was. Again thanks for the comments.

    -The Author

  • Everyone is amazing once we start dating them. Loving someone the moment you meet them is dangerous, because it's simply impossible to know them- instead you love what you think they are, what you hope they are, what they can or do represent to you. Love is so good at feeling like actual knowledge and real intimacy when it's not. If she doesn't feel as strongly about you, then leave her. Sometimes we give so much love to someone without even asking if they want it. We offer it all, like a gift they can't refuse, and we expect to be rewarded the same way. We say I love you and expect nothing less than I love you too- we're even angry if we don't hear it straight away. But what if they don't? Can you blame someone for not loving you back when you didn't even give them the option? Ask her. Ask her like it's a real question that can have more than one answer, in a way that will make her feel she can afford to be honest and that you will take her honesty. Do take her honesty. Ask her if she loves you or if she only loves the fact that you love her. Love and attention can be hard for a girl to give up even when she doesn't want to reciprocate. And it's not fair to you.

    I'm really sorry if I'm making so many assumptions- it's tempting to project my own experience on yours. I just really hope you give yourself what you deserve. Don't cling to an illusion.

  • She was never the person you thought she was, she was always the person you see now. Yes, you are weak not to recognize that and cling to some ideal you created for her. She'll eventually dump you so you'd be wise to get the f*** out on your own terms.

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