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Bugga
I still love you billy. Horrible things have happened over the years. I can try to hate you more, blame myself, but no matter how hard I try I can't love you less. You don't have to dance on rock bottom, not anymore
Sounds like billy is trouble. Why you'd want to continue to subject yourself to the bad that comes with him is one of life's big mysteries. Until you have a clean break from that you will get what you deserve. I hope you wise up sooner rather than later.