I've lost everything.

I am somebody, who doesn't function well in school. I'm a senior, and I've lost everything important to me. My bestfriend, discarded me after half a years worth of giving her everything. My life is unsettling, I've held medication in my hand to over dose, countless times, yet nobody knows. Because I'm a coward, Too stupid to get into a real college. You know what I've done? I filled out an application for the peace core, the only ones who know are the ones who wrote menthe reconmedations that are required. I'll be deployed for two years, out of this country to serve those who truly need me. My family doesn't know, my friends either. Not that they would care anyways. As far as there concerned I'm going to some cut rate college next year. I won't. I won't even be here. I need to do something worth it before I die. I need to prove to somebody, that without me, I don't know. that after I die, people will still talk about me. People will care, and be like damn, she really lived. She really, lived. I'm scared I'm going to be alone without the comfort of my home, but I feel like it's my mission my life purpose to do this. Nothing in this world is darker to me, than living for nothing. If I'm going to die, I better have damn good reason. I have a cause to live. I'm the quite one in the back off your class, who listens to all your pointless conversations, about how you can't wait to go party, how you got so drunk, how you don't have enough weed. I'm the one who looks normal, average, when on reality i am the loud one, who has a million thoughts, ideas that truly matter. Just no one to hear me.
I'm going to do something worthwhile in my life.

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  • I understand your pain and your reasons behind this plan but this isn't going to give your life meaning. this isn't going to make people recognise you and your life. The army is one big money making machine, nothing more. By joining the army you are going more ham than good. I suggest you find something else to fulfil your life.

  • Your running away because your bestfriend dumped you? Who in the world could mean that much to you? That you can't even be in the same country as them. Do you know that stats for rape? Death? Sicknesses? You might as well join the war. Throw your life away, you f****** idiot. What are 17, 18? What qualifies you to decided your lifes not worth living. Who decided you? Who has lived half as long as I? Ha, your a laughing matter, child. An insignificant amount of life that will live and die, and do nothing. I lost someone close to me in the war. What gives you the right, to want to throw your life away. What's so tragic, please go on tell us what your pity part is. What exactly, you sir have against life?

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