I've lost everything.
I am somebody, who doesn't function well in school. I'm a senior, and I've lost everything important to me. My bestfriend, discarded me after half a years worth of giving her everything. My life is unsettling, I've held medication in my hand to over dose, countless times, yet nobody knows. Because I'm a coward, Too stupid to get into a real college. You know what I've done? I filled out an application for the peace core, the only ones who know are the ones who wrote menthe reconmedations that are required. I'll be deployed for two years, out of this country to serve those who truly need me. My family doesn't know, my friends either. Not that they would care anyways. As far as there concerned I'm going to some cut rate college next year. I won't. I won't even be here. I need to do something worth it before I die. I need to prove to somebody, that without me, I don't know. that after I die, people will still talk about me. People will care, and be like damn, she really lived. She really, lived. I'm scared I'm going to be alone without the comfort of my home, but I feel like it's my mission my life purpose to do this. Nothing in this world is darker to me, than living for nothing. If I'm going to die, I better have damn good reason. I have a cause to live. I'm the quite one in the back off your class, who listens to all your pointless conversations, about how you can't wait to go party, how you got so drunk, how you don't have enough weed. I'm the one who looks normal, average, when on reality i am the loud one, who has a million thoughts, ideas that truly matter. Just no one to hear me.
I'm going to do something worthwhile in my life.