I hate being a parent

I don't hate my kids, but I hate being a parent.

I hate not having anything even remotely resembling a social life. I hate changing diapers. I hate cleaning up after my kids. I hate driving some of them to school. I hate having to cook for them all the time. I hate listening to them fight, or cry, or beg for something. I hate having to take them to sports or activities so they're not bored. I hate having to keep watch over them when friends come over to play.

I hate being trapped in f****** broiling desert, backwards ass Arizona, just because a job pays well enough to support four kids and moving would mean working for about 1/2 the pay. I've wasted a third of my life in this f****** place because I can't afford to move because of these kids. I hate having to keep a close watch over my kids because I live in a f****** huge beige and cement city...the more people there are, the more sick f**** you gotta worry about taking kids.

I hate never being able to go anywhere new, see anything new, do anything new. School, meals, naps, sleep. I can't wait for them all to grow up and go away to college. Until then, I'm responsible for them. I'll be 52 when the last leave the house...I'd say half my life will be gone, and I'll have nothing but regrets.

The first kid was ok, I was 28 and figured I would make a good parent. The second got annoying by the time he turned 3. The third and fourth were definitely a mistake in judgement on my part. Should have just said "no f****** way" to the wife after the first two. There's times I can't stand the sound of their voices. A couple times I've even gone so far as to wear earplugs and ignore them for an hour or two.

I usually stay up late and deprive myself of hours of sleep, just because I know that the sooner I go to sleep, the sooner another day of dealing with my children will start for me. H***, I've gotta get up in 3 1/2 hours to take the older ones to school.

The brief moments of "oh, that's cute" are far overshadowed by the sheer level of s*** I hate about parenthood. Passing on my genes is not worth this. If I would have known I'd hate parenthood so much, I'd have gotten a vasectomy at 18.

And to top it all off, I don't drink alcohol. I never acquired a taste for it, and earlier in life had no desire to kill off brain or liver cells, nor give up any self-control. I think I'd like to learn to appreciate a good beer or well-crafted spirit, but I won't. How much more miserable would my life be if I let slip to the wife or others how much I regret almost all of my decisions of the past 18 years (moving to Arizona, having kids, and sometimes even including marriage)?

Why even bother typing this up? I feels a little better just to put it out there, and I know that nobody I know will see this or be able to connect this to me. I put on a pretty decent act as a responsible (and almost caring) parent. I've been living the lie for years.


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  • My kid was an accident and parenthood has wrecked my marriage. It wasn't the diapers or the scheduling turmoil or the lack of attention. I got over being demoted from being #1 (or even #2) in her life... but to not even being on the radar? Motherhood turned her into someone else. Her parenting style and mine clashed tremendously to the point where I am not only the bad cop, I am also now the bad guy.
    It's gotten to the point where neither wife nor child listen to anything I have to say. I literally have to yell before I am heard and then I'm suddenly the bad/ crazy guy. Well, I was... now I am just the guy who they aren't sure can even talk. I don't know how/ why the !@#$ I still exist,much less still being married.
    Did some self reflection and concluded that I am basically a shell of a person, a source of income who also moonlights as the free janitor/ butler/ chauffeur for the home I "live" in. I deeply regret not getting a vasectomy as soon as I had some sort of medical insurance when I was younger. Then again, celibacy and having no social life has also saved me a little loot. Knowing my luck, I won't live long enough to enjoy any of my retirement. Probably not such a bad thing as I am barely skating by as a "co-parent".
    Well, that's enough venting. Thanks to the people who run this site. Guess it was a release just to type this gibberish out, even if it is never read.

  • I feel you i don't hate my kid only most of the time like if he was my little brother that be fine cause i could wash my hands of him when ever it became to much but that's not the case plus I'm a single dad so its not like i could just leave him with his mom and disappear for ever def was a mistake even having him noooot to f-ing mention i recently got another b-itch pregnant and she driving me off the wall. i should probably just whack the b-itch belly and all.

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  • I'm 26 and a mother of a son who is 2. My husband and I dated for 3 years before we married and had our child. We are solid as a couple.

    I was okay with being a mom, and actually wanted it. I thought it would bring us even closer. My man always talked about wanting to raise a child, go to sporting games, teaching the kid music, and basically enjoy the family with the addition. I got off the pill and we went for it.

    Back story: I grew up in a foster home, was susceptible to anxiety/depression, did a lot of drugs in my teens, f***** guys for little reason, and was basically a sore on my family when I didn't focus on academics. I pulled myself together and got a college degree and things looked good. I work at a hospital now.

    We were elated when he was born. So were our in-laws. I really couldn't believe that we made a human, it was so incredible.

    After about 2 months, it became a h***-hole existence. The kid s*** his diapers 8 times a day and I was out of my mind. The depression took over for the first time since I was in my teens. This beautiful being that we had on week one had turned into a massive ball and chain by the second month. He's 2 and pretty cute, but holy s*** this idea was totally wrong. I think we should have adopted a dog instead. Much cheaper.

  • My child is a negative child. He was born this way. His favourite words are and have always been "I can't" and "I don't want to." He's nearly 19. He'd constantly moan and whine about everything. He would never try. He used to mock his friends for trying things. I tried every technique to help improve his mood (to encourage but not to change, to help him cope, to tap into the insight of seeing things differently). All that happened was I became exhausted which led me to where I am now. He would (and still does) bring the whole vibe down in any room he walks into. Family find him draining and his friends, those that are left, hate hanging out with him.

    I'm a positive person. I was born this way so raising him on my own has been nothing short of a nightmare.

    We're all born on different plains. But i truly hate with a passion how negative folk find their way to positive folk, infecting and kiling the light in them, so the world begins to look horrid.

    This goes for relationships, friendships, colleagues too. Having a child who operates on a totally different frequency than you is a cruel joke.

    My mood is instantly lifted when he leaves and crashes the moment he's around. I suffer with depression and physical ailments from years of carrying his negativity.

    This is why I hate being a parent.

  • Imagine how the world looks through HIS eyes.

    People are so quick to whine and moan about "bad vibes" but no one wants to do anything about it. They just pretend it's Somebody Else's Problem.

    If it's that horrible and deep down you actually love the son you just had to give birth to, look into all avenues, even the weird ones. Look into past life regression if you're truly desperate. I mean that. Otherwise you're just another whiner trying to bring everybody down with your tale of woe... Mommy.

  • Lol "past life regression", great advice. "If your child is difficult, try getting him defrauded on top"! Past lives aren't a thing and if you have ever paid for that bullshit you have been misled and taken advantage of. So you really shouldn't be dispensing advice on this kind of stuff.

    Now, "so quick to"? How would you possibly know how quick any of this was or wasn't? The kid is 19 and it's very obvious from the text, and especially the verbiage used, that this parent has tried different strategies to help their child be happier and more sociable. For all you know it's been 19 years of h***.

    I don't know what you think you'll accomplish with your uninformed judgment of someone who's clearly at their wits' end about how to connect with a member of their own family. Maybe stick to paying charlatans to tell you about your so-called past lives and let other people try to make things work in the real world however they can.

  • Yeah, people like Mommy here really have "working in the real world" sewn up. Too bad if you're too delicate to handle other perspectives, even weird ones. That speaks much more to your own fragility than the person you think you're talking down to. *kiss kiss*

  • Hallelujah.. An honest parent.

    I know exactly what you mean... I'm a single parent and quite frankly, I'm b***** sick of it!

  • Does anyone else feel like walls are closing in, how you don’t feel like it’s your home anymore, and that now there’s just no more escape. The choice being you either have to feel stuck forever or leave the family? I never understood why men had affairs after their child was born. I do now. For goodness sale, just to be with someone with home you don’t have to carry the burden of birth and seriousness of raising a child. Just to be without care and enjoy life. It’s disturbing how much I get it now

  • L****

  • I dislike that every little freaking thing now has to be organised around them. I'm about to buy a truck just so that I can convert it into a camper - I'm not really a camper, I think most camper people, especially middle aged ones, are drab and boring, but I'm thinking maybe I can used it as a mobile office to get work done while "I'm away fishing". Yeah suddenly fishing seems appealing. Maybe I'm becoming one of those boring middle aged camper dudes with beer bellies now. But hey whatever gets me out of the house. It's not like I'm much use anyway. Every time the kid wants something it typically involves eating - and I have no b****** to do that with. So typically when I take care of child after an hour or so we're back to screaming and me running to mother to get her on to my wife's breast. Don't get me started on the s**. My child just came out of there. Every time we try my wife still has pains and then I'm reminded of who just came out of there, and psychologically I just can't. I mean I guess that's a good thing because frankly I'd be worried if I wasn't bothered! It's like a complete lose-lose situation.

    Meanwhile I'm now enjoying commuting to work - that's a first. I certainly didn't think I'd every enjoy the commute! No really. It's like down the coffee and get out as fast as you reasonably can.

    And now when we're making plans its like - let's do this before she is 3 or before she gets to school or let's not do that then because that may not be the right thing for her. It was hard enough being spontaneous as it is. Now you;'re planning everything decades in advance - and I don't know it just sucks the life out of me... why? I guess I take enjoyments from making decisions in the moment.

  • I actually liked children before I had my own, now I can't stand them. Really can't stand to be around any. I had one and knew I would never have another. It's the clipping of wings in it's most sadistic and cruel form. Being a parent to one child has done so much damage, I couldn't imagine how (or why) one would have more than one.

    I dream about suicide daily. Just jumping off a bridge with only the view of the sky, and ending this misery. The only reason I haven't yet is because I'm waiting until he leaves home so I can begin my life and live it the way I should have.

  • Wow. I’ll warn the childfree. Children don’t equate to happiness unless you’ve DESPERATELY wanted a child. And that’s why there’s this antinatalism movement folks! Your kids will hate their lives too or wish they weren’t born but due to your selfishness, you both regret it. Good job. Bilateral salpingectomy is perfect decision I’ve made.
    Also, poor, asinine people breed more to make more slaves of their own. It backfires when the kids break the chain of caring for them in their elderly because old people are gross. Heck my friend who’s the only child moved to a different country. Life doesn’t always plan out parents. Your kids do not owe you anything.

    Don’t “assume” my life or childhood was awful, using reverse psychology bs; quite the contrary. I absolutely love my parents and my life. My parents literally love us and did a pretty darn job of raising us. I’m very content because I chose not to breed and choose NOT to be depressed with a child that will never fulfill my happiness. I rather a puppy than a human baby ANY day. Good luck in life.

  • I mean I'm childfree and agree on the stance that people shouldn't make that decision lightly, but you are WAY off the mark on how well you seem to believe your parents raised you, because from your word choices I can tell you're a major piece of s***.

  • I'm male and waited until I was 38 to get married. I finally married a 34 yo woman who was divorced, but had no kids. She was the first woman in my life with whom I was ever madly in love. I was head over heels for her. We had so much fun from day one: hiking, camping, fishing, concerts. She also had the "baby bug" at her age and wanted to get pregnant. I loved her so much that we married and went along with it.

    Looking back, after the marriage, and the birth of our daughter, I think she married me because she wanted a baby. Our relationship is totally different after the kid. My wife looks at me as a paycheck and provider, rather than a lover. We don't have fun like we used to, because we have a kid. I'm now 45 and about out of my mind with parenthood. I love our daughter, but she is one massive wedge into the heart of me and the relationship as I knew it with her mom. I just want the kid to go away, so I can have her mom back. That sounds s*****, but it's real.

  • No it’s not. You’re being candid. A lot of men can sympathize with you. Kids come last. That’s why my man and I are getting sterilize because a child will ruin our relationship and we’re both selfish LOL I’m not sorry for not breeding. I want my man ALL to myself. I’m sorry she used you as a baby making machine. Men are visual creatures, be careful and try not to get trapped.

  • Amazing. Thank you for writing this. Feel I could just put my name at the top and post it again.

  • This is one of many reasons I don't have kids at 33 and have never wanted any. I actually have no idea why people have children in the modern area, aside from societal brainwashing and some silly legacy nonesense.

  • I’m with u on this I feel the exact same way I have 4 kids and absolutely no life it’s work sleep I literally sometimes look forward to work to get out of the house n away from kids

  • Nobody held a gun to your head and commanded you to crap out four more future consumers. Keep looking for work, and include learning basic English in that noble endeavor. (Were you on your back during English class?)

  • I honestly wish more parents would just come out and admit this, just for the sake of their own therapy. We all know that there’s plenty of parents that are just like you that regret having children, and honestly, it’s okay. We all make decisions we regret, and having children is just another one of those decisions; it’s not immune, and if 100% of parents in the world told you they don’t regret having kids, at least 20% of those people are lying.

    I think the only reason that parents like it you keep it so secret is because this confession is often met with such ridiculous amounts of judgment, scowl, and animosity. If we could all be more open and excepting of this honesty, the world could be a better place.

    I am truly sorry that you regret having children. Seriously, what you’re dealing with, I don’t wish it upon anyone.

    But I’m also really glad that you’re sharing this, because maybe, just maybe, someone who hasn’t had children yet might need to hear your words.
    Reproducing is not a necessity, and no one should ever bear children unless they are absolutely sure they want to dedicate themselves to raising a person from age 0 to at least age 18.

    However, I truly believe that many young people that enthused about babies and such don’t actually know what they are signing up for. I know that there are people out there that only reproduce because they felt peer-pressured. Either because all of their friends were getting to the babymaking, their parents keeps asking “when they’re going to get grandchildren,” or even bullying them into it, there is even spousal pressure.

    All of these things can pressure someone who isn’t actually ready into having a child, but maybe, just maybe, your post can help them reconsider.

    Thank you for posting this, and I sincerely hope things get better for you.

  • I know people who have succumbed to that pressure and had kids. It’s interesting how some will say yes I no longer have free time, it’s bills, chores, errands but they simply accept it and don’t sound regretful. I have a friend who says Ofcourse I miss single life all the time. When I talk to this friend it’s always a convo about making more money, career, suburbs, moving , life insurance. All these things sounds do depressing to me. I believe this friend ended up at the emergency room recently due to blood pressure and stress. They have an infant and everything is so new to them.

    Here is the other side of the coin. If you are a single guy in your 30’s most women you meet feel that they need to reproduce. It makes it difficult for us to find someone who doesn’t want to unless she already had kids or health issues. So it does get a little lonely on this side too but I would rather have this than being sleepless and paying more and more towards a wife who now loves our baby more than me and bills for a newborn who won’t appreciate it until he or she is 25+

    Babies are beautiful and sweet and cute. But it’s a commitment and you need to know if you are up for it.

  • As someone who is childfree (early 30s, happily married with pets), it's refreshing to see posts like this.

    Society sells us a romanticized version of parenthood. During the 5 years I spent trying to find a doctor who would sterilize me, I heard it all: "you'll change your mind"; "it's different when they're your own"; "children are little miracles"... etc., ad nauseam.

    Parenthood is not for everyone, nor should it be. It's 2019: we can be complete, fulfilled humans without children. To the OP: it takes serious b**** to deviate from social norms, and I thank you (as well as everyone in the comments) for being brave enough to share your story.

  • Childfree here too! It’s annoying when state the breeder bingos. My favorite is “you’ll regret it” and when I’m in an irritated mood, I bite back with “oh, just like you did? Not much sleep honey huh?” Utter silence... this post is known... sorry parents, not all of you are condescending, selfish, entitled fools but to those who are and say things like these because we don’t fall for such lies. The Instagram false facade of parents and children my look pleasant but in reality, it could be something entirely opposite. Parenthood is a hardship.

  • I’m the same way. It isn’t worth it to me either. My kids are 7 and 2, maybe in the future it will be. Now, def not.

  • The is the part of parenthood that no one dares talk about. You are expected to love your children unconditionally and always be patient and understanding. What if everybody isn't cut out to be a parent? Its is not something you can test drive like a car and decide its not for you. I made the mistake of having kids because its what other people wanted, the first being my mom when I was 21 and wanted to abort. She made me feel guilty because she didn't abort me when she became a teen mother. The second being my husband who really wanted a kid and we kept trying for 2 years only to have a child he has no interest in, now we are getting divorced and I am stuck with these f****** kids I never wanted on my own as a single parent. I love my kids because they are a part of me, but I hate caring for them, especially while I am still trying to navigate my own life, anxiety, depression, divorce, a job I hate, while they whine and cry about anything that displeases them in the slightest.

  • Oh I don't like my kid. At all. He's not a very nice person. He's in his late teens and is turning into a worse adult. I was the best parent, attentive, understanding, present etc. But none of that matters. It doesn't. They're going to be who they're meant to be. They'll turn out to be a real c*** or a real saint regardless of how well you parent. If great kids can come from terrible backgrounds and blossom into loving adults who refuse to repeat the abuse they went through, as too can little shites come from wonderful parents and turn into abusive adults.

    So I've made peace with the fact that I don't like my kid. And will probably stop talking to him once he's gone. Blood or not, a person is a person and I'm free to hate, dislike or just want to distance myself away from anyone who is stressful, abusive or a right piece of s***. I make no apologies.

    As soon as I came to terms with that, I started to enjoy life again.

  • Brava! No sarcasm intended. Finally a parent I’d enjoy to talk to because I’ve met so many. Love the integrity. I’ve met a woman with 5 kids, only one she loves as her daughter, the others, when they’re visiting her, she would ask them to leave or make them. Kids are their own individuals. Not simply carbon (footprint) copies. Blood doesn’t matter these days. It’s a hit or miss, kids in bad neighborhoods may end up dead, prison or become well-mannered. Wealthy children become sadistic, psychotic mass murderers. Spare the rod, spoil the child.

  • My mother admitted, once again, today that she would have liked to continue schooling and have a career instead of having me and my siblings. Anyway, I was doing some searching on the internet and came across this page. My husband and I are child free. We both couldn't make up our minds, and had some financial and job set backs, so we just never had the little guys. I think it's the saddest thing when I see or hear that parents don't enjoy their children. It's the saddest thing to me when I hear my own mother didn't enjoy me. I meet a lot of unhappy people in my work, and the ones with kids seem to be some of the unhappiest. I understand that sometimes life just happens - we are not fully aware of the choices we are making. Anyway, I'm glad that was one thing I didn't add to my plate, as my husband and I are overjoyed we never had children.

  • Oh...my... I’m sorry your mother is selfish and told you that she regretted having you... I can’t fathom my own parents and they STILL shower me with gifts!

  • It's no secret that having children sucks. And no one knows this more than the p***** that make up governments, all around the world. But having kids is the only way they know you'll have to keep working crappy, stressful jobs to keep feeding more mouths, to put a bigger roof over your heads, to buy more crap... All in the name of taxes.

    It's why governments are desperately trying to encourage people to have kids through creepy ads and articles.

    It's why countries are offering more financial pressies/gifts within the first year of a child's birth (entirely forgetting a child is for life, and not just for Christmas!)

    It's why people who decide to not have children or those who decide to only have one child are punished financially for being intelligent about a decision that impacts their lives.

    Yes being a parent sucks, because having children is all about how much money your good little slaves (children) will make for the country, and just how much they can make off your offspring's back. But in the run up to the day they join the conveyor belt of slavery, they'll make damn sure they'll feed your little one their daily dose of "shut up and take it", all while you play good little nanny to their future investment. That's right, THEIRS not yours. Sadly, your part is done. Now they're here, the Gov will take over. But where do you think you're going? They still need to be fed and clothed, silly.

    Wealth not health.
    Taxes not happiness.

  • Ppl were procreating well before

  • Well, they didn't have a choice. We have the pill, and everything that's come after.

  • That literally sounds like living h*** on earth. My husband and I are vehemently childfree (so much so that we both had sterilization procedures done BEFORE we met), and I couldn't be happier.

  • If you don't mind me asking, how did you find your way to this post? As a childfree person, what were your motivations in deciding to search for a post about the pitfalls of parenthood?

  • There are very few childfree sites on the web, especially compared to the parenting sites (especially mommy-centric ones). You'd think the mommies would leave the CF sites alone and stay in their own lane, don't you?

    But NOOOOOO, they're motivated in deciding to search for CF sites, where no one took the blue pill about the pitfalls of parenthood... and they proceed to lose their minds all over these CF sites. These oh so "busy" mommies doing The Most Important Job in the World will invariably run to their mommy groups and call in reinforcements to bully and harass these sites.

    So in light of that consistent and very real dynamic, I for one DO "mind you asking". Because the reverse is not exactly an unknown occurrence.

  • Believe it or not this came up in the Senior Center discussion group at my over 55 community. Looking back on it , now in their eighties many wished they'd had the options then people do no. I myself went child free well over 50 years ago when it was considered outrageous. I also went no-contact well before the trend of today. The conversation never ends.

  • I would imagine that some of the childfree (like myself) find their way here because we are unsure whether our decision to not have children was the correct one, and therefore perhaps we seek justification for that decision.

    So to all those who don't like having children all I'm saying is that sitting on the other side of the fence has its own challenges. I think whichever side you are on, you will always spend at least some time wondering if things would have been better over the fence.

  • For me, since I love my parents and know they did an exceptional job of raising us, I wanted to know if parenthood is easy LOL it isn’t but they love kids! They’re glad we’re adult and independent now but I would laugh of the reminiscent of my childhood. So I don’t want kids. I cherish my freedom, sanity, sleep, and pleasure of doing whatever I want. Babies are rude lil rug apes. Some are cute but absolutely not worth it. That’s a new car, 4 dogs, exercise equipment or a few of Louis Vuitton purses!

  • Children f****** suck! So glad I found a partner who doesn't want them either. Little parasites!

  • I'm 28 and a father of a 4 yo. She lives with her mom. I pay child support, and I'm genuinely interested in my daughter's life and want her to be well. The child support makes me nearly broke, as I'm a construction laborer who has endured many layoffs with my company. I'm always looking for a better job.

    Here's the thing: I met her mom at a party and she was f****** 2 other dudes. She said I could do her too, because she liked me, and she hadn't gotten off, so we did it. I barely knew her. She said she was on the pill, but she got pregnant.

    The paternity test came back to me and I was doomed. I had the magic bullet. I've tried to get my life in order, but I can't, because women know all of my money goes to the kid. They want someone who can provide, and not for a 4 yo. I'd change the whole dynamic if I could, but having a kid makes my life suck beyond belief. Keep it in your pants, guys. Really.

  • Always, always, always wear a condom. The pill is not 100% effective. Also, a girl can lie about being on the pill or stop taking them because she secretly wants to get pregnant and trap you. If she tells you she's on the pill, wear a condom anyway. This is one of the many things they don't teach in school.

  • Did you see the results of the paternity test on paper or did she just tell you you're the dad? If she was s******* two other guys she may have been pregnant already by one of them and then pinned the pregnancy on you because she knew you would stick around and help take care of her and her child. Bad boys get the thrill, nice guys get the bill. There are tons of men raising other men's kids and they don't know it.

    It's just fishy to me that she would tell you she's having s** with two other men. Women usually like to keep their sexual past a secret.

  • Wow, after having UNPROTECTED s** with someone who was literally having s** with two other dudes right before you had s** with her, you’re lucky a child is all you got. Sheesh.

  • I think a lot of this is caused because society tells you to give up so much of yourself, your Lives, to your kids--and you actually believe that nonsense. My parents and grandparents didn't do that. If dancing, music, skating lessons were inconvenient or cost to much, guess what? No If you wanted a pair of $200 shoes, sorry... Here's a lawnmower, go earn that s***. Too noisy or destructive? Go outside and learn how to make mud pies, ride bikes and play with other kids--entertain yourself. Mom and Dad Came FIRST. Period. If they wanted to go do something, they did it-the kids sat down, shut up and behaved respectfully, no matter how boring it was. If you acted up, you got your tail beat with a switch or a flip-flop. You, as a parent, wants to sleep in? The kids got cereal and watched cartoons and stayed QUIET until the parents were up. They did chores to take the burden off the parents, cleaned up after themselves! They cut grass, washed dishes and scrubbed a toilet. The problem isn't that you have kids. It's in how you're raising them, giving in the expectation of society that kids come FIRST.... and you're raising unruly brats who think they're entitled to anything they want, when they want it, no matter how inconvenient or expensive....giving up everything you enjoy and your identity to people who are going to leave someday after sucking you and your marriage dry. And then you foist off these undisciplined, spoiled, entitled s**** onto the rest of society. If you want to be happy as a parent.... Stop letting your kids run your life, Put your You and Your Spouse First, teach them responsibility and discipline, stop giving in to their every whim and take back your damn life.
    (Mother of 3 grown children who are the most intelligent, responsible and wonderful people I've ever met. They are my heroes).
    *Does not apply to anyone who is a single parent who is struggling without help or support

  • I feel your pain. I'm almost 19, mother of a 2 year-old daughter, and I can't handle it. My mom helps out, but only some. The "father" turned into garbage after the pregnancy. I don't like people in general, loathe holidays, have anxiety and depression, work a crappy part-time job, and having a human crying non-stop near me is abysmal.

    I didn't come from a bad family or a bad school district. I felt I received a good education, though I'm finishing in an alternative school. But what did they not emphasize enough? C*** in p**** = babies. Somehow I grew up thinking that one could just "get off" with a guy and the cream in his b**** was not going to lead to a human. F****** h*** that was dumb. This leads to real-world disasters.

  • How did you think babies were made? Your parents and school district failed you for sure if you genuinely had no clue.

  • Parenting is probably the most overrated experience there is. Cognitive dissonance anyone?


    Thanks to ever-increasing numbers of overly entitled breeders and their untrained spawn ruining every venue they're brought to, the sun is setting on this bit of collective fantasy.

  • You probably just hate it because you're so bad at it.

  • Stay strong brother. I feel you 1000 %

  • Hay dad im wake dad and was look at my cartooms dad please were are you dad i keep look for you dad i luv you dad and im be good dad im you little girl dad hugs you dad i dont no what is happen dad i hope you go school with me dad xxxxx

  • Go play your little threadjacking game with pedo "mommy" somewhere else, you inferior stain.

  • I hope you are okay! I’m sending you a big hug. I hope your dad is in your life now. You shouldn’t be reading this stuff. None of it is your fault!!

  • I'm not a parent yet but I always usually hear that having a child beings meaning to life. I just have one question to the unhappy parents: when you are out with your child, perhaps at a park or in a cafe, would anyone know that you were unhappy? What I means is, do you put on the smiles and the laughs for the sake of the child etc. even though you don't necessarily feel that way? The reason I ask is that when I look at parents with kids they all seem to be laughing, smiling and playing around. Some have even told me that life only begins once you have kids.

  • Don’t be so gullible. Life begins once you become preggers. The parents feigned smiles are simply a cry for help or relief that their child isn’t crying or embarrassing them in public. That’s why there are belts parents! Or a slap on the bum. Discipline=love. Do EVERYONE a favor. I love seeing an unruly child getting spanked. I praise those parents.

  • That’s horseshit...

  • I dont fake it.

  • I am a mom of three, have a very good job.. and I feel this dad! Not one person would guess in a million years that I hate my children, I plaster their sweet faces on social media and talk about them and take them out everywhere, even have their friends for sleepovers and lie to other parents about how I truely feel. I never thought I would feel this way, I honestly even feel guilt for hating them.

    But I have sacrificed soo much for them to a point where I don't even know who I am anymore. I sacrificed my body, my sleep, all my time, everything I have. Obviously I knew there'd be sacrifices, but I haven't done anything I enjoy doing in years.. but I don't even know if I like those things anymore. I think you see those parents being happy for their children, and to pretend just for awhile, that it's not that bad.. for me, I don't want to have to explain to other people why I'm not happy, or to be viewed as a bad mom because I don't love them like I should.. so as much as it's a struggle, it's easier to just smile and play it cool

  • This is what I was talking abt. Thank you for your honesty. Albeit I donate parents living through their kids vicariously as if they have no life. Like, you had your chance! Let them live their own lives. But I apologize how you feel. I’m not criticizing you or anything of the matter.

  • Same here. Wondering how people really feel. A couple that I know just had a baby. The dad is a go with the flow kind of guy and eventhough the baby was unplanned he welcomed it as he wants a family. The mom does too. Now when I see them the mom jokes and laughs while saying don't do it to me. They both say it's so much work and they are annoyed and sleepless. I do have to admit that the baby is adorable and made me more inclined to have a baby.

  • So you admit you're easily fooled. That's never a good trait for a parent to have, even though it seems to be the leading cause of parenthood.

    Stupid women like you see a random baby and go "ooh god i NEEED one RIGHT NOWWWW." I dare you to just hang on for a few years and witness what comes after the "cute and helpless" stage. *Then* see if you're still so "inclined."

    God, my species is overstuffed with idiots...

  • My entire life feels pointless ever since I had a kid. Maybe I will write about it in more detail here, sometime. That is all.

  • To all those who are struggling with parenting:

    I wish I could take your kids for a weekend so that you (and your partner) can take a weekend off. I would do that a good few times a year so that you know regular relief is right around the corner. I would pick your kid up from school once a week along with my own child, just so you can run that last pesky errand. I would offer to car pool to your child's sports games, or recitals so that you can spend the evening just cooking for yourself for once. If you're sick, I would come over with chicken soup and hang out with your kids for a while so you can get much needed rest. If you're having trouble with your teenager, I would offer to have them stay with me for a couple of weeks, so you can both get some space to reevaluate it all!!

    I am a parent who is extremely overwhelmed. I suffer from postpartum depression and almost admitted myself to hospital last weekend due to suicidal thoughts, and I have recently harmed myself. I would do this for you all if I had the option because I want to be the village that you are all missing, that I'm missing. I'm craving communal parenting, just like in Congo, where everyone chips in as a collective and makes parenting a bit more bearable.

    I'm sorry you're all going though this. I'm right there with you. Please take care of yourselves. I know if your cups are full, you will feel a lot better about parenting. People can judge all they like, but know that millions of others can empathise, so perhaps you're not as evil as what society paints you out to be, you're just overwhelmed, burnt out, depressed and empty.

    Self care is top priority everyone.

  • I don't know... sometimes I feel like I do hate my child. Like being stuck in a relationship that isn't good for you, and wasn't right for you. You know you should have left a long time ago, but you stayed and end up resenting and eventually hating that person.

    The only difference is this is a relationship you can't break free from; can't divorce or walk away from, clean. You're forced to stay.

    My child is in his late teens and will be leaving home soon. I think I'll need about a year of no contact to start liking him again, to deal with the stress and anxiety and depression I suffered being trapped in parenthood and to deal with the resentment I have toward him, my family and the resentment I have towards myself.

  • I too have been feeling like this a lot. i am sure i love him, but don’t like him very often. i blame his behaviour on myself, for not being more consistent sooner in life, but i just get so overwhelmed and i just have to walk away and ignore so much. I want to be a better parent, but i also just want him to go away.

  • Love this, thank you for spending the time to unload. Glad I’m not the only one who feels like this often. I too love my kids but I also realize that is only because they ARE here. If I chose not to have kids, that love would have never developed. I would have more freedom and none of the stresses associated with that decision.

  • Most of the friends that I have with children regret it. Everyone pretends that they are ok. But when you get them to speak.... Unfortunately I am one of those and I blame mainly my wife for that.

  • Stop passing the buck. Take responsibility. People who blame other's for their mistakes are pathetic. We're all here because we realise what terrible, terribe mistakes we made having kids. It sucks but it makes it ten times worse when you pass blame.

  • Exactly. Too many people in here are blaming the other parent, or even pointing the finger at the kid(s). Unless you were raped, YOU decided to have the s** that led to the child(ren). Own it. Then vent.

  • I'm dating a girl with a 5 year old, after seeing how hard her life is and how miserable she is having a child I am so glad I have never made that terrible life choice. I would recommend to anyone that is unsure if they should have children to date someone first who already has a young one your eyes will be opened to reality. Her place is always trashed, she's basically given up on stopping him from drawing on the walls so every part of the lower walls is an art show. Her once arranged dvd collection has become a pile of broken cases and scratched up movies. She rarely buys herself anything because "what's the point?" I visit her place and she only visits me when she is alone luckily she understands that he is not welcome in my house due to him breaking every. single. thing. he touches. It amazes me how no matter what the object is once its in his little hands its never the same again. Just knowing I have my own place to escape to after we have spent the day together always makes me happy. She becomes super angry about every couple of months (I've been told its more like jealousy) with me and her single friends for "having so much freedom", "no worries" and being able to do "anything I want, when I want"....um Hello??? I told her from the start I didn't ever want the responsibilities hence why I am kid-free. I know eventually this relationship will end once she wants to move in together but you couldn't pay me to live in that type of situation 24/7 the only time the girl even smiles is when the kid is at his dads house. S*** what kind of life is that? Which is to bad due to her and I being otherwise excellent together. So yeah, F*** that noise kids suck the life and happiness out of their parents. Condoms bro's, condoms.

  • How sad for her to be dating someone she obviously has no future with. What a waste of time.

  • That's the only "sad" thing you perceive in this story? Save your condescension for someone who will play your little game.

  • That's the only thing you see as "sad" in that story? Save your condescension for someone who wants to play your game.

  • Do other men find their wives not attractive anymore after having a baby?

  • It’s probably right up there with the number of women who find their partner unattractive after they’ve had a baby, lol! Parenting is not sexy!

  • Yeah. Pregnancy and sexy DOES NOT MIX and shouldn’t be in the same sentence.

  • Yes, I am right there. Especially the staying up late. It's the only time that I can get to do something I enjoy and not be bombarded with everyone else's bullshit.

  • Night time is my only time.

  • Thiiiissss... this is exactly what I have been trying to say

  • Don't have kids with the expectation they will make you happy. They make you f***ing miserable. Low expectations if you decide to take the plunge!

  • Glad I found this. Do a lot of women try to trap men with kids? I hear about it but have never really seen it with people I know. If so I should be careful.

  • Men also try to trap women with kids, it’s not a one way street. Trust me.

  • Try having a son who's slow as f*ck & a younger daughter who cries every 2 minutes who both fight constant & neither of them do as they told- it does my head in- I don't have a life- I cant work or do much else because of an injury, so the only respite I get is when they are at school, but I'm usually sleeping through the day & up all night in the off chance that they don't get up during the night, but even that's a rarity. Life sucks & I'm sick of it. You cant discipline them anymore because the government are so pig headedly stupid & ignorant. So kids run riot & we cant do anything about it or we are seen as bad parents, yet ironically we are seen as bad parents if we DO try & keep them under control & the government have the audacity to complain about youth crime?! The little sh*ts should be seen & not heard & these retarded politicians mothers should have swallowed instead on the nights of their conception

  • Have you heard of sparing the rod and spoiling the child? Whip your children or they’ll end up in prison or worse. S**** the govt, they’re not raising your kids, you are! You 2 consented to s** and that leads to pregnancy, should’ve wrapped it up.

  • Your parents must really regret and hate you for you to be so bitter and twisted at such a young age. You won't be 18 for long either, enjoy it while it lasts because its over quick as a flash and the monotony of adult life will sink in kids or not.

  • Waah waah waah. You forgot to use the word "jealous" somehow, little princess. Go back to junior high and think about how stupid you sound when you try to contribute to an adult conversation.

  • I'm 26 and had twin sons at 23. They are such an emotional/economic drain that I can't believe it. I just want my life back.

    I was on the pill at the time I became pregnant. Evidently the antibiotics I took at one point for an illness made it less effective, and I wasn't protected when I thought I was. At the time I was single and, well, enjoying college, including the social life. I was never a s***--I lost my virginity at 20 and have never had more than 4 partners in my entire life. At the time I got pregnant, I was having casual s** with a couple of my friends (sometimes together), and it was a shock to us all when I told them that I was preggers. I was raised pro-life, and that didn't resonate well, so I told both of them to "get the f*** out of my life, I won't even ask for a paternity test."

    I've been married for a year to a wonderful guy who has taken me and my kids on as family. I work part-time, so we don't have to pay as much for child care (saves us money), but my husband makes minimum wage. It is a massive grind to keep food on the table, the lights on in our studio apartment, and the kids clothed (they grow so fast). Thankfully we qualify for local community assistance, but I wish daily that I didn't have kids. Life would be so much easier.

  • Are you still pro-life? I have 4 of my own and I hate it too, but I've advised my kids that if they aren't sure that they can deal with the 24/7 grind, then they should totally have an abortion. H***, I'll drive and pay for it. I love them too much to put them through this h***.

  • Thanks for your reply. Yes, I'm still pro-life, although I wish I had been strong enough to give them up for adoption. At the time, I couldn't do it. It was way too emotional. If I could have that opportunity back, I'd do it. Life sucks with kids.

  • That’s God’s punishment for you for being fornicating harlot. Now you’ve made your bed, you are lying in it. Oh well. No sympathy from me. I don’t feel sorry for other people’s asinine decisions.


  • Yeah and get life in jail? Still have no freedom or life would you.

  • At least you'd have peace. Relatively speaking.

  • You must have never have been to prison. Trust me, after an almost 5 year bid I’d rather take irritation of kids. I have them and I hate my life, and tell my kids not to have kids. Or if they do wait until they’ve done everything, or have often rich. But I’d still pick them over life in prison

  • I totally understand.

    I have two kids and I regret it every day. I could be retired early and living a chilled existence, but instead I have these ungrateful parasites.

    Not their fault. I blame myself for not being stronger and saying no.

  • Oh this resonates so much. I did the calculations recently and was so saddened by just how much money I could have saved had I not had my child.

    I blame myself too. And know I'll never be able to forgive myself.

    I could've bought a house, travelled off the savings, worked remotely from anywhere in the world.

    I would have more energy. This is fact. When my child is away from me for a few hours it's like my energy levels top up and I feel alive again; like I can do or be anything. It doesn't last though.

    Yes, I too could have retired by now. I put myself through college and graduate school. Instead I'm working terrible jobs just to keep a roof over our heads.

    I just want to die already!

  • I've been close to having kids but I realize it's not like an item you can go return if you realize the routines finances and responsibility are more than what you thought you signed up for. Hang in there and enjoy the small things and moments. Best of luck.

  • Start doing your own thing twice a week. Hire a baby sitter. Hire a maid. Then you will have some time for yourself.

  • Not all of us have the $ to do that.

  • You would if you hadn't insisted on making more people for some selfish unthinking reason.

  • So, because this is an open forum, I will post again and again if I want to, idiot breeder. Suck up the pain of parenthood and deal with it. I'm glad I realized that having kids was a choice and stupid choice at that. I can't wait to get an IUD.

  • Or bilateral salpingectomy🤗 no birth control to worry about taking. I get annoyed sometimes with parents, not all but for those who victimize themselves and if you victimize yourself, YOU did something wrong and unable to own up to it. Like one person had one night of passion and 9 months later, complaining and crying and regretting it>> YOU knew what you got yourself into, why should I sympathize for you for what YOU'VE caused and now can’t ever escape unless you abort or abandon the child. Tough titty

  • PSA: There are many natural techniques to avoid pregnancy that don't involve mutilating your body.

    Option 1: sympto-thermal fertility tracking.

    Option 2: Queen Anne's Lace tincture (aka carrot seed tincture) 8 hours after unprotected intercourse, then again 12 hours later, then once more 12 hours after that. The plant prevents an egg from implanting in the cervix. Side effect is very mild cervical cramping. But it works to prevent pregnancy if you do it correctly.

  • Everyone is free to make their own choices. You’re not an idiot just because you have kids.

  • You must have no life, no gf or bf or passions to come and try to bully people. You are equally miserable. I don't have kids by choice but feel for people who now do and don't want to abandon their commitments. Hope you find happiness.

  • You just bullied someone for daring to have an opinion. Maybe follow your own advice.

  • My husband and I are long time married (over 50 years) and now in our 70's. We have three children (sons), and frankly, if we could do it over, we would not have any children.
    They're just not worth the aggravation and heartache.
    We were good to them, but as soon as they acquired partners, the women turned them against us, even though we never interfered.
    But they all knew where to come if they needed money or got into a jam.
    Children are our biggest regret.
    Ungrateful bastards.

  • Wow. I’m immensely sorry for your loss. And you’re right. 70% parents regret having kids... least you guys finally have peace within yourselves and together.

  • My heart goes out to you. I have an only child son and my wife and I have decided if he and a future partner turn their backs on us we are leaving our estate to charity.

  • We have already decided on this matter.
    I would rather help homeless animals, or some worthy charity, than give anything to our children.
    Undoubtedly, after we're gone, we will be cursed and criticized by our sons, who will receive $20.00 each. We were advised to leave them a token amount, to show they had not been forgotten, so our final wishes could not be contested. Most of our assets are in an unbreakable, incontestable trust.
    They will be shocked to learn that some charities will be splitting almost three million dollars, and they will get twenty bucks each.
    Curse away, my sons, curse away. You reap what you sow.

  • Love it

  • Your sons must have done some pretty bad stuff to be left out the will like that. If not and its just that you resent their existence then b***** h***.

  • I'm right there with you. Had my first at 20. 3 miscarriages and 2 still births later and we have our second now. I'm 28, I f****** hate my life. I should've just left my wife but I couldn't do it to her.

  • Ok, 3 miscarriages and 2 stillbirths is God telling you, you don’t need them, but since you stubbornly had a second and NOW miserable, should’ve listened to God. He does things for reasons...your loss. I would take a hint and stop at 1 child. But I don’t have any, so yay me! 🤗

  • This is why I'm glad mine are less than two years apart. H*** for me would be having a child of school age and having to start the baby crap again. No thanks. Both mine like similar things and can entertain and play with each other meaning i dont have to do as much entertaining. I'd rather be shot dead than have anymore kids, got a boy and girl and im done. I feel for you it is h*** alot of the time. Bedtime is the worst for me

  • Wow, all the stress and heartache of your losses for a lifestyle you hate. You really don't know what people are feeling behind closed doors.

  • When I see or hear about older couples or single individuals/coworkers who have no kids I automatically feel bad for them. I assume they have no one. No one to get them from the hospital for a minor appointment or major surgery. They return to empty homes where the food they left on table is right where they left it. Nothing has moved an inch since they locked that door when they left. No holiday plans unless they go some place solo or get invited as a third wheel or the person everyone talks about who he is still single. Society just expects us and is designed for us to have kids.

    Anyone think bout this?

  • BS!! No one should have kids to have a built-in support system. Do you realize how many people are estranged from their kids?? And how many parents only hear from their kids when said kids want something? And how many people rot in nursing homes because their kids can't be bothered? Better off putting all the money spent on raising them into investments, then you'll have plenty to pay caretakers when you need them.

  • Why would you automatically feel bad for them? I have tons of friends (married/dating/single) without kids, and they have good relationships with their family, friends and community.
    I don’t think having kids is for everybody.

  • Having kids is definitely not for everyone! It certainly isn't for me. I used to like playing with my friends kids and thought I'd like kids of my own. Didn't think about how crappy it'd actually be being a parent. Like when I left it was my friends dealing with all the headaches and annoyances. I left and went about my footloose and fancy free life. Had I a crystal ball and seen my future I wouldn't have done it any of it. Unfortunately I don't have anyone to vent these emotions to we live in such a judgmental world. If I told this to my parents they'd look at me like I had yellow skin with pink polka dots all over me. And say what a brat I am. But I'm sorry I just feel no joy or fulfillment at all in parenting.

  • I wish I was them. I would give my right arm to get back the life I had before I gave birth. Some people like parenting and some people hate it. I envy those who are single with no children. They have a freedom and piece of mind that can never ever be returned to me now that I am a parent.

  • I would never burden my child to pick me up from a medical appointment or to feel obligated to hang out with me. If it happens naturally great, but if not I will be content on my own. What a stupid, selfish reason to have children.

  • Wow, you’re like my parents. I don’t mind caring for them when they age. You’re doing great!

  • Many people get pets for the reasons you mentioned that you just fine .

  • Do you realize many people who are married with kids feel just as "lonely" as someone as you described? 50% divorce rate in this country. You can be married and miserable, you can have kids and be miserable. It's all about perception because a lot of single people without kids surround themselves with plenty of friends that they acquired over the years. I know many moms who are struggling to find other "mom" friends.

  • I am one of those. I don't connect or relate to other mums and am not interested in their kids, i have my own. I'd like a friend with no kids but alas i dont have anything in common with them anymore. I had a good male friend for 8 years and his jealous b**** of a new girlfriend made him end our friendship.

  • That’s women for ya! I’m a woman! Hate other broads LOL I’ll be your friend. I have mom friends. They’re not condescending or blather the common breeder bingos to me. I don’t mind if they say “well everyone is different, you might have kids, you might not, it’s not for everyone”.

  • My only consolation is that when I'm 40 my kids will be nearly grown (17 & 15) and i might just be able to carve out a bit of freedom and a life. I long for my child free, careless days of being a teen so much. I loved that period of my life. When i die i hope i get to spend eternity as a beautiful, Slim, carefree 16-19year old again. I miss my old life and happiness so much.

  • You won't spend eternity as a "beautiful, slim, carefree 16-19 year old". Especially when you had no kids. Those days are over. They ended when your child came out of the womb. If you miss your free days, you should have gotten an abortion. You have no one to blame but yourself.

  • True to the rest, no on abortion. I’m neither pro life or choice, it’s common knowledge but regardless, yeah I agree that once you grow a life in you, it’s not about you anymore, you’ll have some days of your life to yourself but you shouldn’t have had unprotected s**. Oh well.

  • I'm the person who posted this. Even if id not had kids i would age and not be a beautiful carefree teen forever anyway. That's life doesn't stop me reminiscing. Lol. I'd have regretted never having any too so really you can't win. Barren women should keep their bitter thoughts out of these posts which are for parents. I love my kids and was having a bad day when I posted on here. I'm not a natural parent but at least i have achieved something in having my beautiful clever kids.

  • Oh gosh. You’re the “my life was pointless until I had kids” that’s so sad. Barren women should be grateful as there’s a reason they’re barren. Kids age you fast. I’ve seen it. A 23 yo mom makes me look 16 LOL

  • And if there are any "barren" women commenting on here, boo f****** hoo. You should have thought about the fact that non-parents would post on an open forum on the internet, idiot.

  • Who said anything about being "barren", although I would love to. I have a working reproductive system but unlike you, I'm not going to make the stupid decision of using it. And what did you achieve? Absolutely nothing. Your crotch goblins aren't special. Nor are they "beautiful or clever". Good job at proving your ignorance.

  • They're special to her now f*** off to your hole

  • Sounds like you were dealt some bad cards in life. You either weren't able to find anyone to have kids with or are not capable due to health reasons. No one who made a decision that they are happy with would respond in such a manner. I am childfree out of choice but do see the pros of having kids as well. They don't outweighs the cons so I haven't had kids so far. Seems as you are bitter and do not have that choice. Maybe you are a woman over 45. Who knows lol. This thread is full of your constant gloating which most people have caught on to. Thank God for internet and anonymity lol

  • Not OP, but I literally am a woman over 45. No kids, and have never once regretted it, so anyone who uses that bingo on others can suck it!

    I've indulged in some gloating on here too, so I can personally guarantee not all of it is OP. In fact, I'd say there quite a few people on here engaged in schadenfreude (look it up, honey). And WE WILL NOT STOP. As long as the rest of us have to put up will ill-trained spawn everywhere we go in public, it will continue.

  • Actually there are people who literally enjoy gloating their smart choices or rewards that others didn’t know they had. For example, I’d gloat if I’ve received a “pass” on an exam, show the entire world, so this person is gloating to you miserable parents, whom some of you are condescending and lie to those on the fence of breeding or choose not to, not all, some I sympathize for, is gloating about something you guys COULD’VE had: freedom, sanity, etc. and now since you guys chose kids, those things are nonexistent while we, the childfree are lucky enough to enjoy.

  • You posted that stupid comment twice, lmao. Poor hag. I know you're jealous of the childfree, especially 18 year olds. Kill yourself.

  • Btw, I'm not jealous of anyone though it wasn't me who wrote that comment. You will not be 18 for long, trust me. Maybe when you actually mature and become an adult yourself you can talk about what its like having kids. Most normal teenagers dont want kids either. Funny thing is, you could end up with them yet i thought i was barren at that age. Lol. Wonder if your own parents regret and hate you and thats why your so bitter and twisted at such a young age. I feel sorry for you.

  • You are horrible. No need for that, j***.

  • Too bad, so sad. I'm not the one who ruined my life with a parasite. Forever childfree!

  • Sounds like you were dealt some bad cards in life. You either weren't able to find anyone to have kids with or are not capable due to health reasons. No one who made a decision that they are happy with would respond in such a manner. I am childfree out of choice but do see the pros of having kids as well. They don't outweighs the cons so I haven't had kids so far. Seems as you are bitter and do not have that choice. Maybe you are a woman over 45. Who knows lol. This thread is full of your constant gloating which most people have caught on to. Thank God for internet and anonymity.

  • It's me again. You are so f****** stupid. I have a boyfriend and I would absolutely love to have a hysterectomy. So you are wrong again. Good job at proving your nonexistent IQ level, you ignorant b**** 😁

  • I'm the person who posted the comment above you; I'm 18 years old, lmao. You must be very ignorant because you just assumed that I was 45 😂. There are no pros of having kids and you aren't "childfree by choice". Dream on.

  • Absolute crap, even most parents here would say there are SOME pros. Btw, at 18 you got alot of maturing to do. Your still a kid and you will change through the years. Of course there is nothing appealing about kids at 18. You really cannot comment on this at all, your still child yourself ffs .

  • Well, I'm 49 and agree with this kid. Unlike most of the whining parents on here, she's actually thinking ahead!

  • I am lying in bed now, feeling miserable as i do everyday, dreading starting another day of whinging, mess, boredom, frustration, anger and just pure h***. I wish i didn't hate this but i do and its getting harder to hide it and contain my anger everyday that passes. I hate being a mum so much. It's life ruining.

  • It's life ruining because western society's model is against people. If we were living all like a big family - things would be different, for sure. <3

  • Yep. We Mother's are looked down on in this society especially if we haven't got a lot of money or a 'decent' job/career. No one helps us cos family are too busy chasing money and social status, both of which are out of reach for mother's like me. Sigh.

  • Oh my god. You think mothers are "looked down on in this society"? Try being a woman who chose to never have children, especially in any situation where you are surrounded by mommies.

  • Gloat or brag about your freedom and leisure. Don’t forget about sleeping in.

  • Oh we do, darling. We do. But the best part is knowing how much smarter we are than people who "think" with their reproductive organs.

  • Aww, poor thing! Because you just had to grunt out a kid, everyone looks the other way when you come in late, leave early, are constantly on the phone, and demand holidays because "I want to be with my family." Kids are a total meal ticket in this society and you're willfully pretending that isn't true. Martyr mommies are either demanding breaks right and left or playing the "poor me" card. The rest of us are tired of both versions of you. Either step up and be a responsible parent or don't breed. Since it's too late for you, do the job you created for yourself-- quietly.

  • This thread worries me. I am with someone who wants kids. Only I know how difficult it was to find that someone I am with now. Everyday I talk myself into reasons as to why I should have a baby . Tax return credits, joint income will make the finances of having a baby less, a day care based out of someone's house won't be as expensive, I will have a companion at home who will never leave (my partner), I will have more things to do on weekends, so on and so forth. As you can see none of my reasons include wanting to have a baby and see him or her grow. I am slowly caving into what society dictates because I don't want to go through life alone. I have a feeling I may be posting on here again very soon.

  • Don’t be a fool and settle for someone so low because you don’t want to be single anymore. If they keep bugging you to have a baby AND you don’t want one, ditch that fool and enjoy your life. Is it that difficult? No means no!

  • I truly believe the only reason to have a child is because YOU want a child. Otherwise, you're fooling yourself into thinking you won't be spending some of your loneliest years ahead of you. Just because you have a mate doesn't mean you won't feel alone in the end if you make a choice in going against who you are as a person. Best wishes:)

  • Rest homes are full of parents whose kids never visit them. Try another bingo, your "you'll be lonely if you don't breed" one is defective.

  • Kids are expensive, whiny ingrates who complain about every simple thing asked of them even when going to do the things that benefit THEM! They don't like food you spent time making from scratch, they don't want to walk to the park, they want to go to the park half way across town. Today's kids are a bunch of brats who never want to work for anything. I see it with my niece and nephews in their late teens and now start to see it in my own who are 9 and 12. I regret kids and all the time, money and effort I have put into them. You want to pass on your DNA, have kids. You want to feel profound sense of happiness: learn to enjoy your free time, find work that you love and always keep learning.

  • That is a great piece of advice. I come to wonder if most people who are married and have children have chosen this life because they don't really know what to do with themselves when they are alone. I know people, like my youngest brother, who are energetic, caring persons who thrive in devoting their time to others. I wish I was like them but I am clearly not. On the other hand these persons feel miserable as soon as they don't have a program to follow, an activity, people to manage or care about whereas I can stay weeks without seeing almost anybody and without doing anything special without feeling bad. You can't have it all, I suppose.

    I have tried to adopt a child and it was h***, not because of her, she is actually lovely, but I just didn't realize how much raising a child on my own would be so taxing. I think it would be the same if I had given birth to her, probably even worse, because then I would have no way out.
    As it is, the birth mother is still in the picture, I still don't have the first papers to start the application, either because she doesn't want to give them or because her country is long to deliver them, I don't know. But clearly, this is a way out, especially as I've had her for a few weeks only and she is not that attached to me.
    But it's not that easy. If she stays with her mother I know what her life will be like: like most of my female students she will spend her teenage years cooking and cleaning for her siblings instead of doing her homework. She will go to crap schools, if she ever manages to go to school. She will probably end up marrying and having kids young like her mother. Every time she goes back there she comes back with a new scar, because nobody watches her although there are many adults in this house (shack, more like). I don't know what to do. Keeping her would be a sacrifice, but maybe it's my responsability now
    and my punishment for taking her in the first place.

  • I'm grateful for this thread. I go to therapy out of some sort of expectation. But I know what's wrong with me. I don't want to be a parent. I love my child but I feel imprisoned by parenthood. I'm confined and there's never going to be a way out. And when there is a tiny semblance of hope, when my child eventually moves out, I'll be too old and too tired from my years of servitude to even care about living life and going after my dreams blah blah. I'll have no money or savings and no energy.

    I want to tell my therapist this is the reason I tried to kill myself. I want to say that being a parent fills me with such depression and anxiety. I wish I could tell my therapist that I wanted to set myself free from the sadness and guilt for why I feel this way. I'm exhausted and can't see myself being here anymore. The confinement is suffocating and the heaviness is unbearable.

    I read somewhere that becoming a parent feels like you die so your child can live. All your hopes and dreams, your free spirit (if you were one before child) your desires to travel, your creativity, your ambition all gone. It sure feels like it. There's no more to me. I have nothing left to give so why drag out the pain any longer.

  • Wow. That must be h***, sans burning in torment by demons but how scary.

  • This is so sad. I hope you feel better. That was a year ago and maybe you've told your therapist about your real difficulties. If not, do so. She/He's not there to jugde you, he won't. He's not your father, that's why we pay them for. if you don't feel listened and understood, then change therapists. There are solutions. If you're a man, it's easier to walk out, and a child feels way much better with a happy father he sees twice a month than with a miserable father he sees every day, I can tell you because I cherish the day my mother left my father.

  • What if this is a woman? Or does a father only get the option to leave and have a life sans kids?

    You know, I say it's time women start leaving. Leave the kids with their dads. Women have been carrying the f****** world on their backs while the man gets to live.

  • Yeah, men would be more loyal. Since when a woman cheats it’s blasphemous and scars the man for life. Also I wouldn’t want the burden of raising another’s kids. I don’t want side kids. Ew. Single men with children are a dealbreaker. Damaged goods.

  • F*cking word brother.

  • I am a child-free 31 year old woman, and I respect your opinion and for putting this out there. I know people will think a lot of you guys are horrible and selfish, but it’s ok to admit that parenting isn’t what you thought it would be. My mother loved being a mom and she was amazing at it. My father, on the other hand, loves us but definitely wouldn’t do it over again. And growing up, my siblings and I knew it. Kids can sense it.
    Personally, I have never had the desire to be a mother. I am losing a relationship with the man that I love because I really, really don’t want children right now. I could selflessly do it for him when I am closer to 40 when my career is more in order, because I know how amazing he is with kids and what a fantastic father he would be. But right now...I just can’t! I know in my heart that it isn’t right for me. I know that I’d regret limiting myself and my goals. We love each other, so breaking up has been so hard. I want him to go find someone who would be ecstatic to do the parenting thing with him because he deserves all that happiness. As long as you all aren’t a******* to your kids and you’re taking care of your responsibility as a parent, you’re entitled to admit that you aren’t that happy. Your kids will be 18 and out before you know it, so try to enjoy your time with them and don’t make them feel how my dad made us feel. He was and still is so inconvenienced by his kids, and we barely have a relationship with him now. Trust me, you don’t want that aftermath. Good luck to you guys.

  • You sound like my female counterpart. I am ending a relationship because she wants kids and I don't see myself having them. One word of advice I can give you because I am about 3 years older than you is that I keep putting it off and said when I get older I will do it for her but that time does not seem to come. It keeps getting pushed further and further. The breakup has been killing me but she deserves someone who will be happy about having a child with her. I wish it could be me but I will be miserable so I have to end it.

  • Hey, I am the one who wrote this comment you replied to. How are things going with your breakup? My ex and I have been officially broken up for almost 2 months now. We moved out of the apartment we shared together, and I spent the first month totally heartbroken. I am doing better now, but I occasionally get angry at him over certain things. I miss him, but I know it is best for both of us since our end goals are obviously different. It has still been hard to lose the person you love though.

  • You and I are going through the same thing at the same time. We have been broken up for 3 months now. She left the apartment and it was difficult to be alone at our place. I half heartedly tried to get back and salvage the relationship but I knew I was prolonging this and would be in the same position in a year. I was heartbroken and still miss her and think of her when I go on dates. But she was running out of time to start a family. I have an incredible amount of guilt for not letting her go before. I really thought something inside me would click and I would be ready. I am not. I hope you are hanging in there. I know what you are feeling.

  • Sounds like this whole thing has been an emotional rollercoaster for you too. I totally get what you are going through, and I’m sorry you are in the same boat I am. Take comfort in the fact that If you are certain that you don’t want children, then it really is for the best that you two part ways. The guilt will take time to subside, but I would probably apologize to her about that if you haven’t already. We women need to actually hear the “I’m sorry’s“, the “I love you’s“, etc. I have never wanted children, but I’ll admit that this breakup has actually made me do a lot of soul searching. I have an awesome relationship with my mother, and I did with my grandmother as well before her death. It is the bonds that I formed with them that have made me realize that the kid thing is actually something I want to do later...I just know for sure that I am not ready right now. I told him this, but he doesn’t believe me and he thinks I would only be doing it for him. So now it’s basically too late since he started detaching himself from me during the last few months of our relationship. I have seen him twice since the official break up, and yesterday was one of those times. It keeps ripping my wounds back open and I am left feeling heartbroken & rejected all over again. Ugh, it’s really just become one big clusterf**k of emotions for me-Lol. He periodically contacts me through text message to see how I am doing, but I’m going to have to tell him to stop texting me for good. My heart has to let go so I can move on. I can’t wait until this heartache is over! I guess you and I just have to give it time.

  • I should probably clarify that he initially broke up with me over the kid thing. I didn’t really want it to end. :-/

  • Today was difficult. She wasn't an angel either.
    I hope you are doing better.

  • I dated a girl who had kids. I absolutely hated it, which made me never want to have kids. The trouble was that we got along great and I was very happy when her kids weren't around. We broke up, but had a hard time keeping apart and would still sleep together now and then. My solution to end this cycle, was to move across the country. Unfortunately her plans included me getting her pregnant. I was devastated. I pleaded for her to get an abortion, but she wouldn't, only offering that I didn't have to be there for him. I figured I would do the right thing and be with her for the sake of our child. It didn't last. Our child is 3. I'm single, 34, and live with my dad. I love my child, but hate being a father. I feel like I'm living a lie.

    It bothers me so much that I made the decision to not have kids, and made that very clear to her, only to be disregarded. There's a double standard that if a woman doesn't want to have a child and has an abortion, it's her body, her decision. But if a man doesn't want to have a child, he's a deadbeat.

  • Oh thank you GOD that I don't have to deal with this. Childfree for life! I kinda sympathize but nah....not really.

  • Sounds like you were dealt some bad cards in life. You either weren't able to find anyone to have kids with or are not capable due to health reasons. No one who made a decision that they are happy with would respond in such a manner. I am childfree out of choice but do see the pros of having kids as well. They don't outweighs the cons so I haven't had kids so far. Seems as you are bitter and do not have that choice. Maybe you are a woman over 45. Who knows lol. This thread is full of your constant gloating which most people have caught on to. Thank God for internet and anonymity!!!

  • NEVER, EVER JUST RELY ON ONE FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL!! That's how "accidents" happen. No birth control is 100% effective. ALWAYS use 2 forms of birth control simultaneously. Verify with a physician that one won't nullify the other (some spermocides deteriorate some condoms). Ladies: some medications nullify/decrease function of "the pill" (not just antibiotics).

    If you have ANY doubts about having children, don't cave to pressure from family, friends, significant others. When it comes down to it, you're going to be the one stuck raising the kid, while they are living their life. Their promises of help & support only last so long as they are happy with you. A kid is forever.

  • I totally feel you


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  • Wow. What a thread. Well, I'm here anonymously because I am too embarrassed to admit this to anyone. I went thru holidays, summers, celebrations, college all alone. Always saw people I was so attracted to date others. I felt that if I only could get one of these people I would be so grateful. And I did. Now, my partner wants children. I never did. I realize I am getting older. My hair is getting grey. All the holidays are tailored around family time. When I was single, I would go to a coffee shop on a holiday and feel embarrassment that I had no one.

    I am. It attracted to my partner. I constantly look at others and wish I could date others. The moment i break this off I will no longer have this person and off I go to lonely holidays, no dates for the office party, no weekend plans.

    I am telling myself if I have a baby we can stay together and I won't be the kid at the empty table anymore. But what if you aren't attracted to your significant other?

  • I hear the following about parenthood all the time and as a non-parent at present I never know what to believe:

    1. Children bring meaning to your life in a way that the childless cannot imagine.
    2. Even if you don't enjoy looking after nieces and nephews it's entirely different when they are your own. All of a sudden those boring games are all fun.
    3.You cannot know real love until you have children. You live a half life if you do not have children.
    4. Even when you have had a bad day with your children just one laugh or smile makes it all worthwhile.
    5. Imagine how lonely you and your partner will be in the future when your parents are gone and there will be no children to come over and visit.
    6. There will be no one to take care of you when you're old if you remain childless.
    7. If you don't have children you will not get to relive your own childhood or ever understand the journey of your own life.
    8. Parenting is magical: Christmas with children is amazing fun, going on adventures is amazing fun and seeing the world through their eyes and helping them learn is the best feeling imaginable.
    9. As the majority have children you'll find that your friends drift away into their own worlds and you'll never feel quite complete (I have to say that I have noticed this. All my friends have children now and there is a sense that they somehow look down on us for being childless. It's hard to define the feeling).

  • Stop lying to yourself

  • Land this is simply your opinion not facts

  • Mother of two here, most of these statements are bull s***. If you can't stand being around nieces and nephews for any extended amount of time, please do NOT have children! The only truth here is you do love them in a unique/unconditional way but it's laced with guilt and never ending sacrifices. Childfree is the way to go if being around kids is unappealing.

  • I'm not attracted to my partner* I'm also dreading coming to an empty apartment. Whenever I traveled when I was single, all I did was look at couples in envy. Now, when we travel all I do is look at more attractive couples in envy. This is exhausting.

  • I agree with this so much. I only have one but my entire life is over, completely and utterly over.

  • Leave them. I'm serious. It does not matter just enjoy.ur life l****

  • Parenting is a never ending f****** grind. I loathe this life so much, I don't know why the f*** I listened to a******* who said how great it is. Does anyone really enjoy this?? I have not done one thing for myself today!

  • Gross. And you felt for the false facade of parenthood?! You fool LOL

  • I don’t think anyone actually enjoys it. I think some people are programmed to enjoy doing what others expect of them and accomplishing what society says is important so in that way they enjoy it. But truthfully and sincerely enjoying this bullshit? Doubt it.

  • Society doesn't see children as important. Parents and kids are looked down on and blamed for all societies problems, especially low income ones. Being a mum is actually something to be verbally insulted about in the uk today, you are treated as vermin as if all these childfree people are paying for your kids.

  • You are not.. Bullshit. Unless you are a whining council estate baby popper outer.

  • I feel this post so much. I feel like I just need to say it myself because I don't think I can talk to anyone about it. I married at 28 and that marriage came with a step child. It was a learn curve but I immediately felt the reality sink in. I told myself it would get better, but it was just frustration after frustration. He was 3 then, 6 now and he's not at all a bad kid. The reprieve was that he would spend time with his dad and I felt like I could recharge a bit. Then we had our baby together. The pregnancy was horrendous. He was an IUGR baby and at a point we thought he wasn't going to be ok. He ended up being fine but small, though he's grown rapidly after a year. My wife suffered so much through that nine months and it was sickening to watch. We both decided then and there that we'd never have another one. After he was born, the first six months destroyed us. Because he was so high need, he couldn't be put down for a second without screaming. He didn't sleep, and consequently we didn't sleep. Both of our careers and earnings suffered despite being a very productive six figure household prior. It drove my wife and I apart worse than anything that ever happened. She became suicidal at a point, ended up having an affair and I lost my job interim. Now we're just waiting until we get our resources together enough to split. I love my kid, but I hate the reality that it imposes on us. I hope I don't feel like this forever. He's grown a lot and some thing have gotten easier but other frustrations are just beginning. I told myself in my early 20s that I'd never have a kid. I wish that I had stuck to that and not let everyone influence my decisions, wife and parents included. I'd be so much happier right now. It's far too much or a burden. I don't think sacrificing everything for a child is worth ruining your life.

  • I told myself I’d never have a child too and I’m so so confused as to why I went back on that. It’s like we second guess our own desires because society says having kids is so magical and important. If I live long enough I will make sure my daughter lives for herself and doesn’t make the same dire mistake I made. That may not happen as every day I get closer and closer to pulling the trigger.

  • Please don’t pull it.

  • Seems like those that have settled for less, ended up miserable and alone, hmm I guess we can debunk the myth “who will care for you when you’re old?” BS Backpedal all you guys want, children aren’t worth it but I guess misery sure needs and loves company. Some of you may be entitled “parents” with unruly brats that are inconsiderate enough to bring them in public places (theatres, fancy restaurants, airplanes) to ruin other people’s time and for that I don’t ever have sympathy for any of you, for some maybe, but I can’t help something that’s irrevocable such as forcing an innocent baby into this harsh life. Love kids but don’t put your problems onto others. FYI having children IS a CHOICE, and I respect awesome parents that actually PARENT. Albeit I highly doubt a vast, not all, “parents” are truly content with their decisions. This leads to my other point, I’m truly tired of these erroneous baby/pregnancy commercials, not all people are happy when someone is pregnant—this misleading media...why can’t their be a commercial where a woman is upset that she found out she’s pregnant, or disclose how many kids are in the adoption system, why not disclose a childfree commercial; a couple with their pets and friends? You guys have been lied to and mislead. Wake up and save another’s life from this parental torment (H***). Insult me all you want, it’s the truth and apparently people are overly sensitive of it. I will say that I truly LOVE my life and family, my parents did an excellent job raising us. I also want to add that I love my disposable income on my wife and I, and yes I’m happily fixed :-) but goodness it sucks that we get to do whatever we want, whenever the h*** we want, sleep in, s** anywhere in the house. This would’ve been your lives... spread the truth to others, “don’t have kids”, if not, then you guys have proven the phrase right, “misery loves company”. God Bless

  • Kids can go wherever they want, bitter barren b****

  • No, honey, no they can’t. Restaurants are not excluding them, others will follow and you’ll be stuck with them more at home. Gotten any sleep lately, dear? No personal days to yourself? You’ve just proved that person’s point. You had to insult because they told it like it is? You only have 1 like compared to theirs. I rather be barren and think “what should I do today?” Than cater to a lil bastards needs and demands. You’re angry at yourself not that person. You’re asinine and gullible to breed and unaware that was a choice. We don’t feel sorry for “mothers” a bitter and miserable one such as yourself, so I LOVE being barren also 😂, even though I voluntarily got myself fixed with my hubbys support. Gosh, should I sleep in all day then read a book for hours, watch a Netflix movie or go to a childfree Disneyland with my man? Decisions, decisions...🤔
    Your life MUST suck and I bet you bring your parasite to a nice restaurant to ruin everyone else’s time. Like they said, misery loves company. You’re a selfish, immature, entitled breeder. Your child will leave you.

    Now, who’s bitter?

  • ^H*** YES^

  • Same here. I have two children. My oldest (I'm convinced) is intellectually disabled or slow. My youngest is very intelligent and advanced. Oldest did Early Intervention for autism and was found to not be on the spectrum, but he just takes forever to learn. We have spent so much money on therapies which are just worthless. We take him out to educational places like parks, playgrounds, museums, frequently. He's doing three years of preschool. He has all developmental and educational toys. His sister was pretty much ignored most of her life because we fussed over him so much. I'm heartbroken, because she might be the only healthy child we will have and I have no memory of her as a baby and few photographs.

    I've always been an introvert and a homebody. I worked with kids during and straight out of high-school but I was still shocked at the very limited amount of time I have to take care of myself. My teeth are horrible because I have kids pulling on me and screaming at me to get out of the bathroom, a lazy husband that just doesn't want to parent, no clean clothes because I'm too exhausted to wash, and I can't lose weight due to the stress - the kids won't let me eat in peace, so when I do eat I binge. I literally don't have any help. I have no friends, they're all drug addicts thanks to the opiate epidemic. Relatives? Deceased, mentally ill, or drug-addicted. If there's anybody that's around me that is my age (millennial) they are so emotionally stunted they act as if they are young teenagers, so they aren't really capable of babysitting for any length of time.

    There are rare few times where it seems worth it, watching the kids play together, snuggle on the couch, or opening up gifts - but honestly, I wish I never had them.

  • God, you were and are way too immature to breed. You blame your kids on your gross teeth and your lack of friends on "the opiate epidemic". Not to mention you did the all-too-common dumb thing of pouring love, attention, and resources into the defective kid. Thanks for creating YET ANOTHER person who's got a hole in her soul (talking about your daughter here) because she, like so many, was ignored in favor of her potato brother. She'll probably have to take care of him once you and hubby kick, too. On her behalf, go bathe your uterus in acid.

  • It used to be that when things got so bad, whether at work, or a relationship, or when I just needed a break from all the noise and thoughts, I'd go away some where. Anywhere. It didn't matter. I'd take a week off, sometimes more, and just disappear from it all. I would just pack and go where the wind took me. I might end up in a hostel/hotel, or call up a friend I hadn't seen in a while and asked if I could crash on their floor for a little while until I sort my head out. I'd take up no room at all. Now... No way. Being a parent means everything, and I mean everything, has to be planned. Everything is double now - fares, accommodation, eating etc. Can't just take a week off, it has to be within school holidays or we'll get in trouble! No one wants to put up a child too, for a few weeks. Can't blame them.

    Now when things get too much for me, I can't escape for a while to get my head right, and come back fresh. No, I have to wack on a fake smile and pretend I'm all okay. The huge responsibility of this has made me suicidal. Something I never was before, because, yep, I could take some time out to rest before. No chance now.

    Anchor. That's what parenting feels like to me. An anchor around my waist. Holding me down. Drowning me. Can't reach for air.

    And the icing on the cake: I love my child to bits. So the guilt is very very real. I pray for death.

  • I never felt that my mother liked being a mother. I think she wanted a kid as a concept- to show off in a photo album or school play or whatnot. I knew early on that parenting holds no allure for me, so I'm not gonna force some helpless kid into the world If I don't want it.

    It's not a good feeling to know that your parents aren't happy to be parents & I see little kids on the subway absorbing that knowledge every day.

  • That's why most parents "want" kids. Spend any time at all on Instagram or Facebook and show me where the lie is.

    Stupid selfish fucktards.

  • I'm 19 years old and I gave birth to my son 5 months ago. This post described everything I feel except I'm not a man I'm the mother. I'm exhausted. I do it all myself. His father is not in the picture. I feel I'm living a lie too. I figured out this was a huge mistake about a month and a half after he was born. After I had recovered from everything and the insane sleepless nights. I still feel tired though. Not a moment of relaxation. I wish to for a whole day just sit on the couch and binge watch TV or movie's. Like when I look back to my old life it seemed so boring but now that s*** is a privilege. And what I related to the most was I stay up insanely late too. Because I know if I fall asleep I'll wake up in the same f****** place and doing the same exact thing I hate doing the very next day. I'm so trapped

  • I was the same as you, had mine at 23, when she was about 3 months i realised how much i hated being a mum. I had another which i wanted to abort but my partner didn't want me to. My mum was also against it. The stress these kids cause me has made me suicidal and ill. They are nearly 2 and 4 now and it just gets worse. I can't wait till they are both at school out of my hair all day. I love them so much so alot of guilt for hating being a mum. I was an independent free spirit. I am a shell of who i was and i resent my kids cos of it.

  • I went into parenthood eyes wide open and I actually enjoyed the first year. He is 4 now and it's all gone downhill. Needless to say there won't be anymore.

  • I got married 6 years ago.
    Had my first kid within a year if that
    Second kid three years later.
    Then had my vasectomy. (Because unlike some people, I know when to stop reproducing)
    I regretted having a kid almost instantly. I had no idea the level of sacrifice this s*** takes.
    The kids stress out my marriage, my career, almost every other aspect of my life.
    I'm basically going to give up most of my life just so these kids might live a decent life. Hurray!
    It does give me purpose at least. Something I lacked before, a purpose. I just wish I could serve that purpose without giving up myself.
    It's taking time, but I'm essentially rewiring myself into a dad.
    Into someone who can cope with the demanding parent life.
    I've just come to accept that this is it, and I have to find a way to live that way now.

  • Man.. I always felt guilty for feeling exactly like this. Like I was a bad parent/person; feels good to know other guys hate being a father as much as I do. I didn’t even “create” my kid. Started dating his mother when he was 1 he’s now 3 and calls me dad, I care for him etc. if I could date her and not have to deal with a child I would 100%. It’s at the point where I’m considering leaving and I know that’s fxcked, especially since his real dad already bailed. I’m tired of 2 hours of sleep, screaming and tantrums, throwing toys and slamming shxt when he gets mad which is every 20 minutes I swear. I’d never ever hurt him physically/emotionally and I don’t wish him anything negative, just don’t think parenthood’s for me.

  • Man, I envy you! I seriously do. Not that it's any easier to leave, but considering this isn't your child, like the other commenter says, you can just leave as it's not yours. No ties. No obligations. No anchor. Go and get the life you know you deserve. Be with someone who doesn't want to be a parent. Live out your days blissfully happy, earning and learning. And be thankful all the days of your life. It's too late for most of us, there's sadly no turning back. Go! Save yourself!

  • If you're feeling like this, get out & get a vasectomy ASAP. It only gets worse. There are lots of child-free people: more than there have been in history. With the internet, it shouldn't be hard to find a potential match in your area. I did it the old-fashioned way 23 yrs ago, when it was much more difficult. My spouse & I have enjoyed our child-free life immensely.

  • No idea how old you are but dude do yourself a favor & find a girlfriend without a kid. It may be hard at first but down the road you won’t regret it. It’s hard enough to deal with your own kid let alone someone else’s. You are lucky this isn’t your kid so you have the option to just run!

  • I get it. My wife and I work full time opposite schedules because childcare is so expensive. Depression and loathing of life goes hand in hand with this. Can't self destruct though...gotta provide for my kid. Just sucks. So bad. So sick of it.

  • I felt like that when my kids were toddlers. Now they are older it's much easier and I enjoy it much better. We go out and do fun things instead of being stuck at home all the time. You sound overwhelmed why don't you save some money and go on a trip get out of town even if it's only for a few days? If you truly hate your kids then you should give them up you don't deserve to be a dad. I don't think you really hate them I think you are just overwhelmed and depressed. Get help for the depression too.

  • He never once said he hated his kids. Read the post thoroughly before commenting and giving advice.

  • .....the kids probably hate that your a parent too.................

  • You have no actual proof of this. Don't be holier than thou. Only three periods are necessary for ellipses.

  • I am totally with you, bro, and I only have 2!

  • I'm a 49 year old man with a wife 10 years younger and an 11 year old son. Never wanted to get married nor have children. I dated all the time and was engaged before I dated my present wife but couldn't pull the trigger on the wedding. All the arrangements and preparations made me to sickenly anxious that I called it off only a few months before. My wife and I had our child before we were married and that freaked me out when she told me she was pregnant. I'm a retired police officer who became a professional sports handicapper, which means I wager on sports for a living. I love it because I'm my own boss and I get to dictate how much money I make. It's all about the freedom that enthralled me plus I was very good at it. But once my wife became pregnant I lost it all! Over 250k of saved money and bank roll. I panicked thinking I needed to make millions. My wife is a career woman and has always made a decent salary and I have a decent pension along with health coverage but I've made so many poor decisions selling valuable property that has increased in value so much along with yielding excellent rental income. I'm a stay at home Dad taking care of my wife, son and 87 year old mother because we bought a mother daughter home in the suburbs. To the average person it seems like I have it all. An attractive wife, good health, a beautiful son, both parents still alive and your traditional center ball colonial home. Underneath it all I'm miserable, broke and not nearly as fit or attractive as I once was. I did an amazing job with my son when he was an infant according to all but most things come easy to me ranging from school to work and the ability to network and socialize and I have not given my best to any facet of family life or at least the level I know I'm capable. Im an underachiever. It all stems from being a victim of sexual abuse as a child at the hands of a half sibling. I also come from a broken home.

  • I never wanted children. I told every woman I've ever dated that if she wanted kids that I was not the guy for her. Then I met my son's mother. She said she couldn't have kids and didn't want any. Then she gets pregnant and does a complete 180. So now I am stuck doing the one thing with my life that I NEVER wanted to do. So now I am stuck helping raise a child, that I love, but never wanted. Thinking about all the things I could have been doing with my life by now, that I will NEVER get to do. There are days I just wish I could end it all, but like with everything else now. I have to think about my kid first and his well-being. So I am stuck wishing I could go back in time and have prevented myself from every having met the b****.

  • Hate isn't a strong enough word. My dumb ass had two out of wedlock with to old farts hat could give two sh**s about them. No child support for fifteen years with one and nine with the other. Icing6on the cake my daughter gets pregnant her senior year. My niece gives birth 10 months ago. And I'm back to rearing children again. A sick joke is what this is.

  • So my story..none of my kids were planned. Not a Damn one. Was on birth control with three and still got pregnant. See here is the thing I had kids because I loved my ex husband and ex fiance..so I thought having a kid came a long with it. But then it doesn't work? Now what? I am hear with two different visitation schedules with never one solid weekend to myself. My ex says I am bitter..I don't even deny it. He still travels and for the most part lives like a single person. I love my kids but truly hate my life. Just a mess....

  • Im 38 iv got 4 of them..16,13,3,14wks ....I sometimes can't even think properly,iv developed heart palpitations and even think about f****** off...my fella works hard and expects to do as little as possible at home!!!!I never get a free f****** minute ,even now the baby is lying on me..

  • I hate my f****** life too. I hate that my kids fathers love while I am stuck in this s*** like quick sand. The dad's get deprived of their life every other weekend yet every day all day I am here. No peace, no travel, no life, just this shotty ads existence

  • I feel the same way with only one. As most here say the same, I think we all need to be big advocates for free birth control for everyone. It sounds like most here made the decision to have kids, but 50% of pregnancies are not planned and I imagine a huge percentage of those 50% regret getting pregnant and keeping the kid. Would a free vasectomy prevented your second, third or fourth? Universal birth control access of all kinds will help people not make the mistakes we all did. And we won't have to pay with the kids that are dropped into the system.

  • I haven't got children yet but when I see parents out and about with their kids on the surface most look happy (and I'm sure many are) they smile, laugh and play with them and it looks great. For those parents who are over age 35 and with children over the age of 5 who say they regret having children would you say that you act this way? When you're around your kids or in public would anyone know how you really feel?

  • It's all for show. The "happy" parents you see are keeping up appearances, running on coffee, 2 hours of sleep and self-loathing. Hollywood and advertising has created a modern myth where parenting and children are magical unicorns with laughter on fluffy pink clouds. Now we're forced to live the torture of that myth.

  • I don't care how knows it. I tell women all the time don't do it. I looks good but it's bullshit.

  • I can't hide it. I'm a miserable shell of my former self and I don't care who knows it. The happy ones who regret are on medication and/or deluding themselves.

  • I appreciate your honesty.

  • Hubby and I had only one kid. Thank god. That's what we both wanted and we have no regrets. I hope it gets better for you.

  • And this is why I'm childfree...

  • Take your birth control as if your life will end without it because it will.

  • It has more to do with the fact that you're homely.

  • My first is a week old. My wife and I never seriously discussed kids before we got married. She wanted kids. I don't. I made my case for all the reasons we should not have children. She even agreed with a lot of my reasoning, but got to a point that it was a completely irrational desire. I felt like it was either have a kid or end the marriage. Our relationship deteriorated throughout the pregnancy. I can't help feeling like we're just partners in this now to deal with what we've done. I'm feeling overwhelming sadness and dread for what the rest of my life is.

  • Just make sure this kid is your first and only. You can recover your relationship and somewhat of your life from one but you won't have a hope in h*** with two or more. Good luck!

  • I am a mother and I'm so glad I read this. Ironically my first born was not planned and I begged my then husband to put him up for adoption. However, after he was born we bonded instantly. He's quiet, even tempered, smart, well behaved, great student, everything. When I had my daughter I expected more of the same. WRONG. I can't stand her 90% of the time. She screams constantly, just to hear herself. She scratches and bites because she thinks it's funny. She won't sit still to get dressed, or get in the car seat. Every meal she flings food all over the place. It's exhausting. If my first born was like this I would never have had two. I still enjoy spending time with my son, but so much of my time is consumed keeping her out of trouble I rarely have time for him. I hate it!

  • This is all very true.

    I enjoyed my first child, but deeply, deeply regret having a second a decade later.

    Just feel like I'm too old to do this and just want some time to myself. But that's not going to happen until I'm over 60 now.

  • OMG! Thank you so much. I feel the same. These kids arent mine and i'm not a man, i'm just a stepmom and I hate it. The exact same way as you do.

  • I also dread going home after work. Kids ruin everything. Can't even sit down for ONE second without being harassed by them. No breaks. And nobody cares i've noticed. Nobody wants to hear me complain. TS I guess. Life sucks. I wish I could be a hermit in the mountains. I shouldn't of had kids. I can't believe i was one. Sheesh, sorry all the adults that had to deal with me.....sincerely.

  • So glad I made the decision to be One and Done! Parenthood is a f****** trap. Once was enough for me to see that.

    Parenthood is sold under the cosy blanket of Love and Happiness™ but is an endless load of bullshit, headache and heartache. My child is in his late teens now soon to leave home for college and I'm counting down the days. I have nothing left. I'm exhausted.

    I dream of coming home to an empty house. Better still, I dream of setting up home somewhere far away from all human life with only trees for company so I can maybe regain some of the energy I've lost over the past 17 years.

    If someone had shown me what parenthood was REALLY like, I would've returned my ovaries in a shot... and asked for a receipt as proof.

    Parenthood has left me depressed, angry, pessimistic, sad, dreamless and made me suicidal. I am a shell of myself.

    I wasn't meant to be a parent (some are, some aren't). I will never do this or anything remotely like this (marriage, cohabitate, long-term friendship, lengthy phone contract) ever again.

  • Dont do it luv..

  • If only I could like a thousand times. Me exactly. Sitting here with both kids fighting and yelling. I want the hermit life. Sadly I have a 3 and 6 year old so 15 more years of torture. Suicide looks better and better each day. Got my letters written.

  • I think about suicide every day

  • Ha. I NEVER ever wanted kids, and guess what?
    I'm thrilled with my decision.
    Don't get me wrong, ,I feel for you, but you went and had FOUR kids.

  • Then why don't u just give up full custody and go on with your life?

  • To who! Thaat's a stupid question! S*** I have black kids they won't even get adopted

  • True story

  • I'd adopt a little black kid. Means nothing to me. I have two kids and today has been a bad day, but I'd still adopt if given the chance. Wont have one though, I'm poor.

  • What an ignorant comment. Anyone with kids and heart knows that isn't possible.

  • Because the guy is taking his responsabilities?

  • This is always suggested in posts like this. "Give them up for adoption" In actual fact it is not that easy. You will always worry about what happens to them. You feel bad if they end up in a bad situation. Most people hating parenthood may be responsible beings too. Your marriage will end if your partner does not feel the same. You will be shunned by society. Shunned by family. Abandoning kids is a taboo.

  • I love my kids so much and thinking about anything hurting them makes sick. If anything happened to them where I lost them, it would be hard for me to go on.

    That being said... I hate parenthood! It has caused me such stress and depression. I love my time to myself but now have none. I do the same thing staying up late to get some alone time even if it means I will be dead tired the next day. I find my self snapping or yelling at them because I have no more patients. I sometimes feel like I just can't keep living in this purgatory.

    And again at the same time I feel unbelievable guilt for these thought because I do love my kids so much. I'm pulled in both directions and it's so overwhelming. I try to get joy in the small moments and family time but really just find myself wanting to get away from it and be alone. I often think driving home, "what if I just don't go back."

    I was always the nurturing friend and the best babysitter so I thought motherhood was perfect for me. I wish now I could go back and tell myself to wait on the kids thing. But see now that brings a shot of guilt because thinking about never getting to know my children makes me sad, too. I just want to be happy but I don't know how.

  • This is how I feel too. I thought I would be a natural at parenthood but not so much. I just want to be alone most of the time and the guilt I feel is unbelievable.

  • You two are my feelings two because I feel the same.

  • Vasectomy after my second kid. I'm done. A lot of this same stuff.

  • I feel the same. My life is totally ruined. I used to have a career, dreams of owning my own city apartment, used to have an active social life, exciting travels, wine and dine, theater and events. All gone. I used to be jovial, happy and attractive. All gone. I am angry and miserable every day. Gave up my career for the kids. No time nor money to upkeep myself. Look like s*** everyday. Motherhood bliss? I feel none of that. It's just a long prison sentence for me. My life is over.

  • Makes me feel a million times better that I'm not alone. They drive me f****** nuts.

  • Why do you molest the Most?

  • I hate being a parent too. I'm 22 and mother of a 4 year old boy.

    In high school, I was the popular girl who got a lot of attention, because I was tall, leggy, pretty, blonde, and had big t***. I matured sexually very early. The coolest guy in school and I started dating, and playing with each other's bodies was new and exciting. We used condoms almost all of the time, but sometimes we had quickies and stuff where he'd just pull out. We really thought we were in love. Well, in my senior year, I discovered I was pregnant.

    I had no idea at the time what this meant to my future. No idea. I'm working a low-level job, because I don't have a degree, the demands of being a mom wear me out daily, and the guy who impregnated me is gone and living some other life with some other woman. My son also has developed slowly. The doctors don't think he's autistic, but he really has not developed socially like normal. I've had to take him to all kinds of specialists and even with insurance it's bone-crushing expensive.

    If I could roll this whole thing back, I would. I swear I get more happiness being around our dog and cat sometimes, than being around our son, whom I do love, don't get me wrong. I also have a really hard time dating, because people don't want to be around my baggage. I'm just tired and burned out all of the time.

  • Was all your so called fun times with that user of worth it?

  • Why didn't you get an abortion? And didn't you realize how hard it would be?
    I think this whole "single moms yay"! thing is wrong. It's better for kids to have two parents.
    I'm not being sarcastic, just curious.
    Abortion is NOT evil.
    Evil is having a kid you don't want.

  • Father of 2 boys aged 15 and 11. Man...it's a tough road. I love them both and I want to be a good dad but I've become convinced that some people just aren't built for fatherhood/parenthood. If I could go back in time knowing what I do now, would I choose not to have kids? I don't know...it would be tempting. I might even choose not to get married. My wife and I are divorcing as it is and looking back I don't even know if I really ever loved her to begin with. Sometimes you make choices just because you feel like it's what you "should" be doing. I certainly tried my best to keep it all together and never wanted to have it end up like it has, but here I am.

    I'm too selfish to be a good dad. I've spent a lot of time over the years doing things with my sons, but never willingly. I think they could always sense that I would have preferred to be doing something else when I was playing with them or hanging out with them. My older boy hates me. He has been a difficult kid to handle for many years and the past couple its been terrible. I want to find a way to navigate through this awful period with him and for both of us to come out OK but man I hate dealing with the constant drama and endless anxiety. It's misery. He lives with me but doesn't talk or interact with me at all - just relentless anger and basically obnoxiousness from him all the time no matter what I try and do - and sadly I've pretty much stopped trying to do a lot at this point. It's pretty much just let's get him through to 18 and maybe he'll move out and realize he needs to do something for himself.

  • ...carrying on

    My younger boy is much less difficult and his personality is far more accommodating and we have good times together. Even so, I often find myself frustrated and wishing I could just do what I want to do without having to think of "fun" stuff to do with him to fill our time together. I worry that at some point he might go "off the rails" like the older one has even though he exhibits none of his troubling characteristics....

    But just in general, there is so much of being a parent that I absolutely hate. I'm introverted by nature and really not confrontational so I take no pleasure at all in having to meet and greet other parents or in dealing with the many issues that arise from managing kids lives. I have a hard time dealing with irrationality which made it difficult to navigate the waters of earlier childhood, since young children are completely irrational. Unfortunately I'm finding teens are even worse. I just don't have the patience necessary for it. I'm a terrible "detail person." Organizing and managing the minutia of daily life as a parent is incredibly taxing for me - the doctors appointments and school stuff and sports and all that - which meant that I ended up off-loading a lot of it on my wife and that lead to her resenting me and on and on. I've learned I'm also a control freak and I find it incredibly hard to let my kids be kids because I'm always on top of them so they don't break s*** or damage the house or what not. I find myself trying to keep everyone separate and in their own space so I can keep any trouble from starting in the first place. I also hate all the noises kids make constantly - drives me nuts. Like I said, just not built for parenting.

  • ...and finally

    I long for quite time to myself, but on those occasions when I actually get some, I end up sitting on the couch watching TV and looking at the walls...and there's never a time when there isn't a low hum of anxiety in my gut. I'm anxious about what might be going on when my kids are with my wife, and I'm anxious about the fact that my kids (mostly the older one) will be back with me soon. I find myself dreaming of taking off to live in a cabin in the woods with nothing more than a wall full of book-filled shelves and an endless supply of coffee.

  • I totally understand. I have 3 little ones myself. I've always been a homebody, so them being here doesn't bother me. My issue is my introversion. I can't stand HAVING to interact and having to clean up after others. My oldest is 9, so I'm fine with him. Actually, I'm very good with the littlest children and then those children aged 6 and up. Unfortunately, my 2 babies are 4 and 2. But, like everything else, this too shall pass. In my case, I found out the most annoying person in my household was the husband. Once I got rid of him, I realized he was half the problem. Now he takes the kids off my hands every other weekend, during spring break, and the month of July. Turns out marriage is great, marriage with children is the worst thing ever, and co-parenting is f****** sweet.

    Hang in there everyone. Those kids grow up so fast...seriously.

  • Man if i could get rid of my "husband" i know id be ao much happier. We parent differntltly so my kids have just become selfish brats who disrespect me just like their father. But i can not afford to go seperate ways. I am counting down till my yougest is 18 so i can be out and maybe enjoy my 50s

  • Omg! I had to do a retake to see if maybe, I had posted this one day, w/o realizing it. I feel the EXACT same way! I really hate feeling that I HAVE to stay, cuz if not, it will be ny fault if my youngest gets abandonment issues cuz I was selfish and left....

  • I resent the first one. LIke the second (2nd was planned...) I'm writting this as children I barely know play with the oldest in the basement. Can't wait for them all to leave.

  • Me too...and I'm the mom 😣

  • Yep.

  • Well I am not as bad as this original guys post. I do have many moments where I regret my decision to have a child. I am trying to find the joy and it can be hard at times. Do I hate my child? No I don't. Would I make a different choice had I known how much I don't like being a parent, probably. Unlike the guy above who didn't stop at 1, I made it very clear 1 child is enough. I count the days until he goes off to school.

  • Well you're pretty well you're pretty pathetic you should have thought about about all of that before you actually got into all of that I'm sure your kids love you so much because you make them feel like s*** so does your wife your a pathetic m***********go to h*** and stay there because you don't deserve your wife and you don't deserve your kids

  • Lmao wtf are you googling to get here exactly then? Hmmm. You sound like a kid who just got hit with reality of mommy and daddy not liking you too much 😂 entitled much? Maybe that's the problem. Move along maggot

  • F*** u

  • You are the pathetic m***********, attacking a person for being honest, and how in h*** could a person predict they will be a miserable parent and regret the choice, until the live it, you sound angry bitter and miserable!!!

  • Why are you on this website then you dumb a******. What did you think it was about? Take your unwanted opinion elsewhere.

  • And then there is this guy who inevitably show up with zero empethy and the highest of holier than though spirits. Go f*** yourself, pal

  • You idiots don't deserve any empathy. It was your own damn choice to have kids in the first place, so suck it up and raise them like a responsible adult. They don't owe you anything, stop playing victim.

  • You're a tool. Would love to know how you ended up in this thread. Did you just randomly want to come here to agitate honest individuals on arbitrary patenting threads by googling anti patenting subjects only to reassure your own lonely miserable existence in which no one wants to reproduce with you? Seems kinda creepy and lonely, especially since you can't relate to anyone on here, clearly and choose to attack honesty rather than provide anything of value. You have a black and white approach to life. Can see why no one would want kids with you

  • Have you’ve ever gloated of your own achievements other than your kids? Stop living vicariously through them. Many childfree do this because we’re tired of many parents lie of how awesome and magical having a baby is and having to explain ourselves. I just use a conceited approach and it angers you. Yes, I have a boatload of freedom, yes, I can sleep in until noon, yes, I have spa days at home or whenever I treat myself to go out. Yes, I can go to the movies with my girl whenever I please, etc. You miserable parents invade our forums also. You’re guilty for pushing lies on childfree throats. Misery loves company and your kids DON’T owe you anything. We know how hellish parenthood is, you guys yearn for death, victimize yourselves, experiencing suicidal thoughts, you guy KNEW what you did 9 months ago. Seems like a projection. I assume you’re a man, did your girl use you for babies and now sees you as a breeding object? Sad. We can go on any site we want. Why so bothered?

  • I've always wanted to be a musician but now have a baby on the way. My wife doesn't seem to understand how stressed I am about money. She probably thinks that's on my shoulders now. For the parents out there, after your child was born did the father have time for his hobbies or other pursuits outside of work? When I come from my day job I like to practice and write music. Will I have to give this up?

  • No, but you will have to ‘plan’ for your free time, schedule it in. It’s actually better for both parents to have time for themselves, it really helps. But if you don’t plan it, it will not happen. Trust me.

  • I used to write, draw and do all kinds of creative work. Ask yourself this: How creative do you feel on 3 hours a interrupted sleep, every day for years in a row? How motivated when you know you'll likely only get 1-5 minutes of uninterrupted time to submerse yourself in some creative endeavour?

    Yeah. It's over. Your wife can be understanding and supportive, but I won't mean a damn thing. Your brain will simply run on 40% capacity the next 17 years.

    Trust me. The music is a closed chapter within the first 6 months. Eat. Work. Sleep. That's your life now.

    I have 3 kids, and I'm a shell of my former self. I have a notebook full of hundreds of ideas/projects/dreams/ambitions I'll never have a minute to pursue. They'll simply die with me.

  • No you wont, guarantee it. Your wife will let you continue your hobby. Yes my love a hobby if you are not making money off of it..you my dear have a hobby.

  • Truthfully as the father no I don't think you will have to give up YOUR hobbies. I have found that the mother will take on most and the father gets to play or hide away with work. But that's my situation. However, I think you might enjoy playing and writing music with your child. You could play your creations for your baby. Baby's brain would love that (maybe not if it's real hard rock or metal). It might become a nice bonding time.

  • That's what you have chosen to accept from your partner. Maybe fix that. Thats not how life is supposed to be

  • And we have 4 kids. I understand the importance of having a hobby and dont want to see my husband unhappy though. Some arent as nice as me

  • My husband was in bands before we married and traveled around opening. Even for big bands, we met when he was opening for the black dahlia murder. He still plays on weekends because he quit the band to pursue a full time career. Though, he still gets to enjoy it some. My brother in law plays full time in his band and music is their major income. He chose to do recording and went to school in order to stay in the feild. You can do anything as long as your willing to sacrifice

  • I'm a father of an 11 month old. Unfortunately, when he was 6 months old I was laid off from my job. But my wife makes enough money to be a stay at home parent. It seemed natural. When it was just me and my little dude I had plenty of time for my hobbies he just chilled with me and he talked to me, you know, like baby chatter. But then we had to get custody of my wife's 11 year old brother. I hate him. He doesn't clean up after himself. They house stays a mess because his big (16 yr old) sister will come down to visit and she and he will leave garbage everywhere. He's a smart ass and he won't leave me alone. I tried to sit down and play a video game the other day ( the first time in 3 months that the little b****** has been living with us) he sat and watched and critiqued every thing I did whilst I played. I finally lost control and looked at him and told him to "go the h*** away".

    This caused fights between my wife and I because he also wants to rough house with me constantly. It isn't cute either, he's eleven and he will actually full force punch me in the face. It doesn't hurt because he's a weak and fat little c*** but it makes me want to tear him up. I did the unthinkable yesterday. He hit me in the face and broke my glasses, my good pair. They were brand new. I hit him back he cried like a little b**** but all I did was spank him. I didn't know what to do, I've never had an 11 year old before. My wife fought with me for hours. But I told her what he had done. She got onto him a little but when I went to tell him that he's grounded she stopped me and told me I wasn't allowed to do it.

    Im miserable. I miss my time; I miss not being embarrassed to have my friends over. I miss the times when the kid lived with his grandma. She could put up with him some how. But she passed,and I've been struggling with that, on top of that my own grandmother passed a month after. And immediately following that my grandfather killed him self. I feel no joy anymore. I'm scared.

  • Damn, I would run so far away! Your wife and you need to be a team and not let that little s*** get between you. Also a size ten up his ass would probably help!

  • You need to tell your wife that a compromise is going to be made weather she likes it or not. You should not be eating all that s*** and I really feel for you.

  • You have zero chance.... your musical dreams are destroyed. I was a producer on the up - had kids in my 40s - life over. Dreams over. Career over. A word of warning to anyone who has dreams of a career that needs endless hours of practice and improvement and focus dont have kids. Especially dont have kids if you are on the brink of something great. Finally dont have kids in your 40s - it's horrible mental torture as a man. There... I said it.

  • I loved music turns out you can never play it with a baby around. I had to take up other hobbies that I still can't do because he won't let me

  • My has and has time for all of his hobbies. Because he has laid all of the child reading to me. I've given up everything, my hobbies, my job, my friends, and he still has all of those things for himself. I gave up writing because he told me it interfered with our family time. But really he just doesn't want to be in charge of our child. In the 8 years I've been a mom and have been away from my son maybe three times. And only one of those times did he stay with our kid. I have no one where I am to watch my kid...i have no help from anyone. But I don't think you should be that kind of parent. If you share the responsibly with your partner I'd imagine parenthood isn't so bad.

  • Not necessarily. It depends in part on how you and the mother split the chores. But you'll never have as much free time as before, that's a given. It's not all or nothing, though. FInd a way.

  • Yep. You will be exhausted. You will have less energy for your wife and son. You will resent your wife and son, and your wife will cheat on you while you're at work.

  • What he said. Except I dont resent my son. I want to be a good dad but it's tough when your wife becomes a moaning, aggressive, complaining, fat horror just cos she had a kid. For me... i want to be fit, healthy, active and still be me. The major burden is what happens to women after kids.... they become ugly, fat and angry then complain cos you dont want to be that blob.

  • She knows she's fatter and uglier, and it breaks her heart hence the anger and moaning. We cant help how having a child changes our bodies. We look ugly cos we are drained knackered n miserable with no time to look after ourselves.She probably feels suicidal at losing her looks. U sound like a f****** s*** husband.

  • Actually sounds like she's just miserable because she's over weight and overall unhappy with no way to know how to fix it. Some people lash out when their miserable, some people ask for help, and others take things into their own hands. My guess is she's probably unhappy with you just as much as you are with her.

  • Same here. I first had to raise my mothers kids and then married a man who wanted kids of his own. My ENTIRE life was a waste. Im waiting for death to set me free.

  • God you sound like me. My mom remarried so when i was a teen i was raising her two young kids. Basically every chore belonged to me and my nights were babysitting. I joined the Army to escape and got hurt, so yeah that didnt work well. Then at 20 my depo shot failed me. Im 32 with three kids, a job a hate and i life i find to be miserable. I have no family support so no off switch. I was forced to work nights because my husband refused to try another other then his low paying comforting job. So kids all day and work till midnight. Exhausted and burnt is an understatement

  • I echo everything you've said. I'm 51, the girls, who are great as far as kids go, are 13 and 11. I have 7 years minimum before they are out of the house. People have always told me "enjoy this stage" as it's the best. I've always looked at them with a blank stare, not comprehending anything they are talking about. I have never experienced a good stage with kids. I've hated every single stage since they were babies. It is work, hard work but unlike a s***** job where you could just quit, this is a job that no matter how much you hate it you can't quit. You spend endless time wishing for some escape but are unable to. You become a slave to this "job". Does it cause resentment? He'll ya! I resent my prior carefree life, where I could s*** the world behind me afire a tough day at work, now all I have to look forward to is coming home to my "second job' as am exhausted, trying to fool myself that I am enjoying this, a Dad.
    I miss the carefree tines with my wife when we could go out with no worries and do wgat we wanted, when we had friends that it wasn't an ordeal to get together with and where the conversation didn't revolve around, guess what, kids.
    Unlike my life PK (prekids) when I was vibrant, full of life, funny and had tons of friends and great times on a regular basis, I feel my life is passing me by. I'm overweight now (not obese) I hardly ever laugh and I probably drink and snack too much. My relationship with my wife has changed radically. Most of conversation is about...the kids.
    Well, that was at least cathartic "typing it out", lol.
    Thank you for indulging my rant,
    NH Dad

  • I don't want to have children at all because:

    1. First reason is that I don't have any maternal instincts at all. I can't even take care of myself, let alone another human being that's fully dependent on me.

    2. I also can't relate to kids, well, which is natural because I'm already an adult. Children's show and activities bore adults. I know children will grow up to be adults

    3. I don't think I will ever be financially ready for a child. I know I am not that smart to become filthy rich. So my earning capacity is only sufficient for me. Currently, whenever I have some financial situation, it's more of an inconvenience rather than earth-shattering. Even the small dents on my income sometimes already stress me out, I can't imagine a parent's!

    4. I value my freedom too much. I don't want to put myself in a situation that I can't get out from. It would suffocate me. I also love to travel and experience all this world has to offer. I don't think it's selfish. It's just a desire to experience living. I'm just passing here once and I'm going to live the heck out of it.

    5. My parents, especially my dad, weren't exactly happy or ecstatic all the time just because they have us. My father was an alcoholic and was depressed, even if I only realized it looking back.

    And even if my dad had three adult kids, he still passed away by himself in a hospital, as we three kids were busy with either school or work. Not exactly the romanticized idea people see in the movies where the entire family is just by the bedside all throughout. I really feel sad when I think of the life my dad had to go through to raise us and the toll it took on his physical and mental health. To think of it, we were well-behaved, intelligent, and self-sufficient kids!

  • (cont...)

    6. When I look at the situation of my friends / former classmates who have children, 90% of them (and this is true), are really struggling. They stopped having a life of their own. They always have to think of their child's needs before their own. It's like they disappeared and all I ever see are their kids. It's also hard to invite them out or ask them to go on a vacation because their kids need them.

    However, the pressure to have kids is very real and it's coming from everywhere - friends who have kids, relatives, social media, television, etc. My friends will tell me to hurry up and have a kid before 35 because pregnancy by then would be more difficult. Or I would have no family when I grow old. Or I would feel empty. But like I said, having a family (by blood) doesn't guarantee a meaningful, blissful existence. And aren't most parents posting here already admit that they feel empty?

    Anyway, I'm glad people here are honest and it just cemented my decision ever since I was young not to have kids - ever.

  • Don't do it especially if you value freedom. F*** what everyone else says. I am literally a prisoner and my life was so much better

  • I bet you get overly thrilled to tears when your kids are in school...summer is approaching soon. Don't forget! Still think kids need a summer break? 2 weeks seems accurate. No one else wants to deal with them except teachers and year round schools keep them lil s**** fit and busy. No one cares if they stress or complain. It's life. Oh well. Try not to hurt your own lil bundles of joy. Ta!

  • This is from the same bitter childless person who posts again and again trying to rub it in to parents. Seems as you are angry at the world and need to pick on parents because they have what you never will.

  • You sound so ignorant, considering not all people want kids, A lot of people don't envy that lifestyle...Hate to break it to you.....

  • Op!!! Found one!!!☝️

  • You just proved me right then. It's ok, you ruin your own life. I'd be livid as well. No freedom, privacy, peaceful sleeps, ahhhhh😌

  • Bitter? Me? Nahhh. You're projecting dear. I'm more overjoyed. What's there to be angry at the world for? I didn't squeeze out a lil unwanted b****** and whining about it on here for something YOU have caused and must deal with. Clearly I got your attention. Did I strike a nerve? Oh well.
    Thank God I don't have kids and complain and moan like you idiotic parents on here. Unlike you, I don't think "I should please society's false morality of raising kids!" Seems to me you're just over compensating on something YOU wish you had, freedom, no chain around your ankles LOL. Get some sleep darling, you might need it.😂 Then again, I'd be p***** off to if I was stuck with a dependent kid I regret having...ooops.

  • He's actually right - if i could go back i would never ever ever ever ever run the risk of having s** with a woman and having children.. the fact is us losers did and now we have no choice but to resort to places like this to voice regret. I wish i knew now when i was in my 20s. MGTOW 100%, no kids, id be financially secure on my own and happy.

  • You sound dumb asf

  • You really are a c*** aren't you!

  • What kind of looser trolls a site like this. Your scum.

  • This post is from the same bitter child-less person who posts again and again trying to rub it in to parents. Seems as you are angry at the world and need to pick on parents because they have what you never will...

  • You are not the only one. thanks for your truth. mostly, thanks for making me feel human and not alone. thanks for sharing your story #wishihadthatcourage

  • Your not the only one

  • I came here cause I felt like a bad mom not wanting to deal with being a parent all the time. But oh my god. Some people on here are truly frightening. Killing yourself, wishing you'd got an abortion, regretting your whole life???? Jesus Christ people. They're just kids. Stop thinking about yourself so much. They didn't ask to be here and they didn't ask to have parents who don't want them. And trust me when they are older they will hate you. You know when your parent regrets having you. You always know. No wonder all your kids are so hard to live with. Having y'all for parents would make me wanna be an a****** too. Stop being so f****** horrible.

  • I've been having a difficult time lately with my strong-willed almost four year old. I was looking for some empathy online in reading posts from other parents dealing with the same sort of feelings, but most of the stuff I've read on here is just awful. Never do I wish my children weren't born. Never do I want to die. Never do I regret my husband or the life we have made together.

    Sure, it would be nice if we had a lot more money and could do more and make life a little easier with hiring someone to clean or do the yard work. It would be nice if we could afford to send our daughter to an all day preschool. It would be awesome if we could afford to send her to do activities to keep her boredom at bay. I can't get mad at my husband for not making more money. He works hard to support our family. He is a loving, supportive, wonderful person and I am lucky to be married to him and our children are lucky to have him as their father.

    I fault myself, not my children, for my lack of patience. I try very hard to be a good mother. Sometimes I feel like I am doing a great job, but there are a lot of times I feel like a failure. There are many days when my temper gets the best of me way too quickly. I would never hurt my children, but sometimes I worry that my raising my voice so often and losing my temper so frequently will hurt my relationship with them. To me, it feels like Mama is mean and Daddy is fun. Even though I know that I do nice things for them and do fun things with them (on a daily basis), it still feels like they only remember the bad/mean things (getting upset when they misbehave, don't listen, mind or clean up their messes).

    Do I miss life before children? Absolutely - sometimes. I love my children, though. They bring joy and laughter into my life. Sometimes I just watch them when they aren't paying attention to me and I'm so in awe of this little tiny person that I partially created and it brings tears to my eyes. I love them. I would do anything for them.

  • I'm happy for you. Truly. Must be amazing living a life surrounded by magical unicorns where everything is just swell.

  • Why are you posting on this website then you vacuous loon? Go find another site where people with nothing else in their lives chat inane rubbish about the joys of parenting.

  • First of all if you read this post and disagreed why did you even comment.? Why not just ignore it? How'd you find this website? Did you have the same problem and are tryna cover it up because I don't see the point of your comment? Are you a bully? What type of mother are you if you're a bully? Because children learn that from adults most likely their parents because they FEEL bullied. Are you're comfortable bullying someone else for not being able to control their feelings and genuinely seeking help or an opinion? Speaking of bullies they hurt ppl! Sometimes thems elves or others so if you have a child guess whose the real bad parent b****. And guess who better hope their child isn't on the verge of killing their self or someone else. YOU B**** your the bad mom. Her reaching out for help shows her love for her children. You on the Internet downplaying peoples problems? Where are your kids located while your too busy bullying a real mom whose looking for help in her very spare time, but you apparently have plenty of time on your hands get off confession post and go teach your kids from the PATHETIC example of a person your setting. Sincerely the bully who was bullied and checks the bullies.

  • Well someone hasn't gotten any sleep. So full of hatred...someone is projecting. "I LOVE MY KIDS ILL KILL YOUUUUU😡🔪🔪🔪" yeah this is a case of a parent that hates her kids but proves to people she'll die for them. What an awesome parent...👏

  • This post is from the same bitter child-less person who posts again and again trying to rub it in to parents. Seems as you are angry at the world and need to pick on parents because they have what you never will..

  • Wow lady. Go pat yourself on the back somewhere else for liking parenthood. This is obviously meant to be a safe place for People to vent not feel worse about how they already feel. I'm a therapist and feelings are very real. Just because you have a higher tolerance for children don't come here judging and parading your ability to cope with others who can't. And you can't hate being parents and still be wonderful so to assume they're kids will hate them is an absolute a****** statement by you. Hope you feel better about yourself.

  • I understand and feel this way often. In western society we parent in a vacuum with little help and support. I've found it to be lonely and isolating. The friends I grew up with are in another state. I've lived in my current state for 10 years but have trouble making friends. I don't have family who can help out or deflect the energy. I can understand why people end up getting desperate and doing irreversible things. It's hard. Kids are essentially little mental patients. I find it's best to be around them as little as possible and if you can afford it have them in a sport or something.

  • Well! Today's the day where you lousy, ungrateful and regretful "mothers" can feel self-intitled and worthy of a miniscule praise. Maybe you guys always been looking forward to this day so that you procreated. (Applause) for doing something that any animal can do, which is natural.

  • The word 'ungreatful' says it all..this persons a barren b**** who is bitter she can't have kids. Boo boo 😂😂

  • This post is from the same bitter childless person who posts again and again trying to rub it in to parents. Seems as you are angry at the world and need to pick on parents because they have what you never will.

  • Please shut up

  • Blah blah blah. Copied and paste. Again, so glad I got your attention. Looks like I have a fan. Awwwwww sorry you have nothing else to say. Can't think of anything else huh? Pity.

  • This post is from the same bitter child-less person who posts again and again trying to rub it in to parents. Seems as you are angry at the world and need to pick on parents because they have what you never will.

  • When you have a child or children, YOU owe them everything, NOT the other way around

  • I couldn't agree more but that is not how regret works. He seems to be doing his best under extremely difficult circumstances.

    Kids are not something you can take back if it is not for you. It is the only descision that will irrevocably change a moral and responsible persons existence. The gravity of which should be openly discussed with kids at far greater length than it currently is in our pro-natalism orientated society.

  • I'm in a very similar boat. On one hand the 5% of goodness is AMAZING, but the other 95% is a complete life suck.

    I remember my dad (who is also a self-proclaimed child disliker) saying "it's hard but it's worth it".... "Or we're all just lying to you"... as of now I subscribe to the latter. I think parents are in a big club devoted to lying to people without kids to join the misery. It's a huge conspiracy. I'll bet there's a private Facebook group somewhere with a couple hundred million members where they get together and chat about how to convince otherwise pseudo-happily childless people to join the group.

    But maybe there isn't happiness anywhere. I joke with my wife that we could have had a boat. But boats are expensive and require constant maintenance too... and are a pain in the ass to get rid of, just like kids. 🤔

  • Nothing false about childFREE (by choice) but if you're referring to the bitter, childLESS who are not by choice, then yeah, those are pseudo-happily childless. Then again, don't assume but you're probably right. I've met other childfree people who are actually happy being. I cherish my childfree life that The Lord blessed me.
    Maybe my or our freedom is a reminder to those who simply gave up on their life and had nothing going for them. Life is beautiful!! I just love being alive. God Bless.

  • First off, thank you for being so completely honest. I know how you feel. I love my kids but parenthood sucks ass. It's not for everyone and I didn't realize that until it was too late.

  • You b**** and b**** and b**** but forgot that you chose this, FOH now deal with the consequences like an adult.

    "To bear children into this world is like carrying wood to a burning house" Peter Wessel Zapffe.

    To those expecting...HOW DARE YOU?

  • You've just proved me right and thank you for going crazy. Good luck negotiating with your screaming c** trophy in grocery stores. Bahahahahaha!

  • You're a moron.

  • Is that it?

  • Is that it? She would have said more but assumed you would struggle with a longer sentence.

  • Glad I struck your nerve ya crazy breeder haha. Projecting your anger upon me, I see. That's sad. Don't act sanctimonious because you're just a s***** mom or dad, don't matter. I chose what now? Parenthood...? I mean your H***? Thank God I didn't, adamantly Childfree sweetie. You must be immensely stupid to think I am apart of the hard. Nope!! Now YOU live with your PERMANENT consequences. I'll be chillin with no stress or worry.😏 toodles!

  • This post is from the same bitter child-less person who posts again and again trying to rub it in to parents. Seems as you are angry at the world and need to pick on parents because they have what you never will. Troll.

  • Exactly! Why are you even here?!? Don't you have anything better to do with your stress free wonderful life than post on this site? Apoatently not. You clearly seem to have other "issues" . You'll probably die lonely and alone. Karma's a b****.

  • Oh like you? Nahhhh

  • No issues. But obviously you do...you opened your legs and made something that's irrevocable.

  • And so will you. Kids don't GUARANTEE company. Oh wait, you're p***** at the truth because you've been lied to. Sucks to be you. This is fun. Are you hiding from your kids to get privacy?

  • Why would you even be on this post if you aren't a mom 😂😂 you're so lonely b**** you need kids. She just needed someone to talk to. Forgive her lol clown

  • Oh so you agree that kids are just a past time? That is sad! No wonder you're so surly. Have you slept more than 7 hours? No? Of course.

  • I'm a guy. Kids don't guarantee company. You just see having kids as a default or just to keep you busy. That's sad. Stop projecting. I can be here all I want. Clearly I'm grabbing a lot of you miserable parents attention. Look at my fans. 😝 Hoorah!! Don't you have your boring lil bastards to talk to, if they can comprehend that is...

  • This post is from the same bitter child-less person who posts again and again trying to rub it in to parents. Seems as you are angry at the world and need to pick on parents because they have what you never will. Trolling.

  • Why are So many non children having people on this page responding? Clearly your bored go enjoy your stress free life and let those with kids vent in peace.

  • You guys invade our blog spots and other CF sites...probably lie to cover your inner feelings of regret and envy....as if it's a bad word to say "I don't want nor like kids" get over it. No one really cares about YOUR kid.

  • Nahhhhh LOL I'd make my girl abort. Don't want that s*** in my nice house.

  • I bet your a pedo. Why else would you be here slating parents so much. Nonce or a bitter infertile c***

  • To parents on here who say the usual "I love my kids but..." and other synonymous terms of endearment. We get what you're saying. You really hate parenthood and probably the fact your kids ruined it just by existing. Well know this: YOU brought them here without their permission. Here's a logical solution: deal with your mistakes. Don't care if it's easy said than done, I'm just blessed that I'll never go through the s*** you're all going through.

    If children aren't a need, then they're wants. And me no want.

  • Unfortunately there's no possible way to know the feeling and predicting the future, parenting is overrated! Once they're here you can't return them! Parenting is not meant for everyone but that's something people find out after they have them then it's too f****** late!

  • I've seen parents, even divorced, whom are really passionate and very nurturing to their kids and do a phenomenal job doing so. Smile and in a cheerful mood, still keep in touch with their ex spouse. The kids are so polite, loved, so cute. But I still don't want kids. Some are cute but a lot of work that doesn't have to be extremely hard.
    Parents below who complain about their kids bringing them H*** by crying and not sleeping and acting unruly, well that's your guys' fault for ALLOWING to happen CONTINUOUSLY and not fixing it. Apparently YOU guys must really loathe your lil darlings. It's like a passive mother who've never disciplined her son, he kills someone, she hides the evidence

  • You have no clue, clearly. Go away.

  • Your a f***** idiot

  • Hey now, don't beat yourself up for breeding buddy. I know, it's a nightmare for you.

  • Awww was that too much for your breeder mind to comprehend or convey? Of course another idiot liked it. Typical. Truth hurts doesn't it? Too late for youuuuu!

  • Sugar, nobody would breed with you anyway.
    You’re obviously a drop kick lowlife who has nothing better to do than troll people on a website that doesn’t concern you.
    Keep talking s*** behind your keyboard loser :-)

  • This post is from the same bitter childless person who posts again and again trying to rub it in to parents.

  • Seems like youre the one that bitter. People like to gloat. You're confusing me with another CF person. She or He seems to be p****** you off very well. It's not childless, we're not less without a damn kid because there's no need for one. The correct term is childfree.

  • But you sound angry. You would be content if you were child free and happy. You are childless for sure.

  • You're just butthurt because you know I'm right. I know, I know. I'm referring to coddling. It's being lazy. Like breastfeeding a 1 year old. Cut that damn umbilical cord already.

  • I'm a genius compared to your regretful ass. Haha. Hey now, don't call yourself an idiot dude. It'll get better...probably not. Looks like someone hates their own spawn....awwwwwww HAHAHAHAHAHA

  • You should kill yourself. Childless or not, your life is absolutely purposeless. You can't even troll properly. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if you put a shotgun under your chin and managed to botch your own suicide.

  • She or He isnt Trolling properly? Dafuq?! That's amazing. So you made your life with purpose by adding a kid to this dangerous world? Coming from you? Dude, give it up already. That's so pathetic. But enjoy remaining bitter with your kid.

  • Someones in their feelings. Stop projecting buddy. I hope you don't kill yourself, then again, you'd leave your spouse more miserable with the kids. Selfish. Oh wait, I don't need kids to validate my existence like you, considering you have kids and you allow them to ruin your life. Good job! You just proved me right how you regretful parents are truly miserable. I'd be p***** off too, but I love my life. It's just fun p****** you shortsighted fools off. So easy! Why so serious? You sound bitter that you have kids and now stuck with them, I bet you're an excellent parent😙 I think you just seen your future pal. What other amazing fantasies you can come up with about me? After all, it is your only escape LOL

  • This post is from the same bitter child-less person who posts again and again trying to rub it in to parents. Seems as you are angry at the world and need to pick on parents because they have what you never will. Troll!

  • Do yourselves and your kids a favor and whip them fools. A bamboo stick and pour water on them, more pain inflicted. Maybe the kids will turn out well mannered and polite, if not, then you guys are really screwed.

  • Wow. I feel for you. I understand. I can't write much I have to drive my oldest to their friends house on the first day I've had of work in months.

  • Anyone YouTube Catch me outside girl? Good luck lousy parents. It's SO worth it.

  • That's what happens when parents don't use discipline or a switch/belt. I don't have ANY sympathy for them. None.

  • I have kids.. my newest is a month old. I could just f***ing run away and start a life in Cuba or off the cost of some tropical island. I want to party and meet different people. I want to have s**, get drunk and go off the f****** rails!! I want to drink and smoke weed till I pass out.. NOPE! "Can't do that Mr. Dad. You have to be responsible now, Mr. Dad." When I was single life had its obstacles but it was fun-ish.. now I've f***** up and I'm in to deep.. these aren't obstacles anymore. It's just a massive brick wall that enlarges when you try to climb it. I love em dearly but I'd rather rip my own intestines out through my knee caps than be a dad.

  • We call that "breeders Remorse"

  • I bet you're one of the ones who tells people how wonderful it is, and it's all worth it.
    I suspect parents say that to their childfree friends because they're jealous of us. And why oh why did you have MORE kids if you were so miserable?

    The world is overpopulated as it is!!

  • I've had fantasies of just running away and living cheaply on a beach in Costa Rica. I justify it by saying, well I'd be so much more relaxed and living a healthy lifestyle that I would live longer both for myself and... for the kids!
    Of course, I'm far too responsible to do that even though they are driving me into the ground. I don't enjoy my life like I used to but I endure.

  • I understand this on such a deep level

  • You sound like a stupid teen. Should've thought ahead before permanently and impetuously brought forth a child. Where's Casey Anthony?

  • I am actively and adamantly childfree. This is the sort of thing that terrifies me about having kids. My mom had me one week after her 22nd birthday. My birth father left when I was 6 weeks old. My dad I grew up with adopted me when I was 4. My mom was pregnant with my sister at her wedding when I was 4. I know they love us, but they struggled. My mom was constantly run down, my dad had a drinking and gambling problem and had no education and broke himself down working in factories his whole life until he had a stroke a few years ago and retired disabled. My mom retired disabled as well after years of working on her feet as first a teaching assistant, and then a teacher when she was finally able to go back to school.

    They never left the s*** hole of a town our family lived in for generations. Then I look at my aunts. One has a hellion of a kid who has two kids by two different baby daddys and no education. Lives at home with my aunts. The other has a severely disabled daughter and a son who is in his 30s and a bum with no job (never had one).

    In short, kids are a f****** crap shoot and they ruin your life. I am glad I never had them. People call me an old maid at 36 and warn me that if I don't change my mind I'll die alone, but I don't give a damn. Any HINT of parental role in a potential partner - biological, adoptive, step, whatever - and I run for the f****** hills. I'll die alone before I parent ANYONE's kids. Thank god I'm a lesbian, too. No oops babies here.

  • You lost me on your first sentence. We really don't care what you have to say. No, REALLY, we don't give a s*** about your opinion.

  • That's because you're a miserable and regretful parent. You cared enough to commit though HAHAAAAAA😝 You should've thought ahead. Also, speak for yourself. Go cry and lock yourself in a close. One of your few hidden, privacy spots LOL You must correlate with the "oops babies" comment. It's called abortion!! Now you're stuck and must deal with that mistake you made. Good news, it might leave you and never return.

  • This post is from the same bitter child-less person who posts again and again trying to rub it in to parents. Seems as you are angry at the world and need to pick on parents because they have what you never will. Lol you keep posting on here because you can't have a child.

  • Seriously, are you getting paid for posting this same old "bitter child-less" person bullshit?

  • At least maids get rewarded for their hard work, slaves, like these parents...chances are very slim to be rewarded. Kid ends up chronically ill or terminal, car accident, mental disabled, shot at, etc. flaunt yo blessings

  • Even if they do turn out okay, they still wind up with issues and blame the parents for it. I know I still look back at the bullshit that went on in our house when I was a kid and blame my mom, even though deep down I know she was doing what she thought was best at the time. I don't agree with her on much of anything, and I keep my distance from the shitshow that is my extended family.

  • 36 means you're one of the smart ones. Let the doubters lie to you, they're eating their own words. It's blissful really. I'm happily childfree. Heeey!

  • Thank you, but I don't know if it was smarts or fear. I look around at all the miserable people with kids in just my own family and I'm like - no f****** way. At least my mom's kids got the f*** outta her house and stayed out so she can have a life, though it's bittersweet because now she's a caretaker for my father. I mean, he's okay, but the stroke gave him cognitive issues and he'll never be able to do things like take care of official business, pay bills, remember doctor's appointments and orders, etc. So, she's still giving her life to care for others, just like she's been doing since she was 22. It's a real shame.

    Solo polyamory and no kids is the only way to avoid that s***.

  • Nahhh I'm sure it's smarts dear. You're good, we'd end up like these poor fools on here. Nope!!! I rather regret NOT having kids and enjoy my carefree lifestyle, which is why they get so angry about....I would be too: stuck with a kid you never wanted. That sucks!!!!

  • You don't sound carefree lol. You sound angry and bitter. Only bullies act like you do. Childless person. I feel sorry for you.

  • I'm a single dad that's done raising children. I raised my two on my own, just finished that up and got remarried and spent ten more years raising 3 more. My wife got sick early to I did it all, work, cook, clean, caretake my wife and raise her kids. Their father paid nothing, she earned nothing and I never got a dime of child support from anybody. Well, I'm 62 now, just got done spending 36 years doing almost nothing I wanted to do. I have 5 kids that text me happy birthday and happy father's day and diligently call me when they need money or a car worked on. Was it worth it? Nope, all I am is a chump

  • It takes a lot of b**** to raise another man's kids, even if the kids don't appreciate it, you know you are a good man.

  • You're are a solid guy, I'm sorry your life turned out that way but how could it otherwise? Carry on, my friend.

  • You're a good man.

  • He is. But look what it has gotten him.

  • Most of the time I feel like I hate being a parent as well. This is not fun or enjoyable 90% of the time.

  • Dude or girl, I admire your integrity.

  • F****** freak put a gun in your mouth and set your kids free

  • Whoa now THATS harsh. Sounds like a projection.

  • I Hope you get hit by a bus

  • L**** you really lost and here you are getting g patted on the back by strangers as a reward.

  • A magic school bus?

  • Spoken like somebody that hasn't sacrificed everything they ever thought they wanted for 5 people that wouldn't p*** on them if they were on fire. Rather have somebody put the gun I'm your mouth

  • 5? After about a month the first one I was able to realize "hey, this is an AFWUL experience! All the breeder propaganda has been lies! Total lies!! Like h*** I am ever doing this again!!!"

    How did you get all the way to five before figuring out that this is a bad idea?

  • Hardcore ppl here. Cool!

  • Isnt this 4chan?

  • Your confession helps me so much, because I have chosen not to go down the parenthood path. I work with children every day. I love my job. But I could not handle dealing with kids 24/7/365. I realized this while I was in college, thank goodness. And the longer I sat with that decision, the more right it felt...even when I hit my late twenties and through my thirties, when all my friends were procreating like it was their f****** JOB. I know I chose right for myself and my life. Because I'm female I get some odd and/or pitying looks if someone figures out I'm not having kids...but weathering the flak from the herd is worth keeping my sanity, freedom, and sense of self. I know there are people out there who regret parenthood as you do. No one dares speak of it, because there's no point and because of the backlash from other parents.

  • I can definitely relate. Although, when I feel helpless, reading that other people feel the same thing vents some the pressure. Ads 1 to the "days since meltdown" clock. I love my kids, I like my kids (mostly). I love my wife, I like my wife (mostly). But I can't help missing a life that was 'mine'. My life isn't mine now, whether the sense of time (life) or the sense of vitality (life). It belongs to three (soon to be four) other people that bleed it off slowly. My time isn't mine, my money isn't mine, it's theirs. My energy is theirs, my property is basically theirs. I'll never get it back. I can't leave them and wouldn't want to do that to them. I can't imagine a scenario where I would still be with their mother after 9 years. I love her but they kept me coming back. I can't stand the idea of another man having any say. She would consider it an affront to God to admit, but I know it drains her as well. I wouldn't change it and not have them exist, but I've traded my life for theirs and I mourn it's passing regularly. I could be within months of having enough passive income to travel the world. Not a fortune but enough for me to get by on my own. Forget that. I could have $10k a month coming in and it still wouldn't be appropriate for me to live for myself and have any semblance of that precious commodity, freedom. There certainly is a magic to it, and it isn't hard to imagine being equally or more miserable single. I love my mom and brother and sisters but don't have to be responsible to or for them every hour of every day for the rest of my life. They give life back to me, and I don't mind when they take. But my cohabitors drain my life gluttonously. I pay all the money and stress to the world then have to answer to them. Lucky for love, whether it's God himself or a chemical cocktail that defies logical responses to aid reproduction. Otherwise, I'd be out. Wonder if mom felt the same way.

  • This was very beautifully written I know my husband would write the same thing and so would I. Thank you for sharing.

  • Hey buddy, there's one thing you said: 'There certainly is a magic to it, and it isn't hard to imagine being equally or more miserable single.'

    Maybe that's where to try and put your focus, and to remember that perhaps things on the other side of the fence might not be so great as you sometimes imagine.

    I'm not a dad yet but I know that I feel regret sometimes that it hasn't happened for my wife and I and maybe you'd feel the same if you hadn't had kids at all? Friends of ours have driven themselves to almost suicide because they struggled to have kids and they would always look at those with children and build up in their minds the perceived wonders of parenthood whilst missing the wonders they had, right there, in their freedom.
    What I'm trying to say is that life makes us feel regret and longing for whatever we perceive to be on the other side of the fence. The fiction the mind builds of the life we aren't living is enough to drive anyone crazy if you look at it long enough and sometimes it can be helpful to remember how you might REALLY feel if you were actually to live that other life, with all of its own problems and heartache.

    All the best

  • You don't want this life. I promise. People have all sorts of ideas about being a parent... Sharing your thoughts and dreams with a smaller version of yourself. It's highly romantic, isn't it?
    Kids are a life drain, they bleed you dry until you are devoid of happiness and any semblance of your former self.
    I am so incredibly happy when I'm alone, in my car, at the store, literally anywhere. I get anxiety when I have to come home to them.
    It's horrible. Don't fall for it.

  • Hmmm, below is a mother who've struggled to conceive, she has twins and regrets it but plasters on a false facade.

  • Being a parent isnt fun. But someone has to do it. And my kids pretty funny when she's not being a d*** so that's cool. A lot of these people aren't even trying to find the good

  • No, actually, someone doesn't HAVE to do it. This is simply the life script you adhere to. Not one person could breed on this earth for 40 years or more and we'd all be just fine. Saying that someone HAS to make their life suck to continue on a species that has over 7.5 billion members is just retarded. No, YOU felt like that's what society expects so you bred. Congratufuckinglations but I'll enjoy my time my money and my freedom living my life for ME.

  • I feel that way sometimes in moments of frustration. Some days are unbearable! I also have 4, and our lives are very busy...it would be nice to have an outlet occasionally. Between a full-time job and 4 kids, my husband and I barely speak anymore...we don't even share the same bed. There are times when I feel like I was not cut out to be a mom, but then I look at what happy and wonderful people our kids are turning and realize we are doing a great job! We are often h****** ourselves and have selfish thoughts. But at the end of the day, we knew what we were sacrificing to become parents. It is all worth it to me, and I'm sure it is to you too. Give yourself some credit! You will be just fine! Best of luck.

  • Will it be worth it when your own flesh and blood will grow tired and don't want to put up with you in your elderly years, place you in an old people's home, steal your money and sucking up to you for your will? Leeching off from you? Worth it dear? I've seen it. Doesn't look worth it...AT ALL, pass!!!

  • Omg stfu judgy Judy.

  • Nahhhh. Truth hurts. Concede breeder.

  • Nah I'm gonna keep talking. I always get the last word. You just can't handle the truth. How you like me now?

  • I don't care abt your lil bastards. How about that? Prepare them well for the future. It's becoming dreadful day by day...😉

  • Hmmm looks like I've struck a nerve. GOOD! Get out of your feelings. If the truth hurts you THAT much, wow it amazes me you bred. Hahaaa Fool. Judge Judy teaches idiots common sense and you failed to accept the truth. Glad I got your attention. Not my fault you're trapped raising lil bastards you regret having. Teehee! Smooches!

  • I'm going to go Judge Judy on this, I don't sympathize for people whom DELIBERATELY brought forth children, regret, complain and want me to actually feel sorry for them. Really? How selfish can you idiots possibly be? And you decided to have FOUR. Moron. Keep busy so you won't have anymore. Too bad you're not Superman to reverse time, you just weren't thinking. Simple as that. Goodbye!

  • Actually, having children is pretty selfish. It's the desire to have a "mini me". It's mostly women that want children. They get to focus their time and energy on playing mommy and the husband just turns into a tool to those ends. When a woman "convinces" a man to become a parent when he's really not that into it, she is the most selfish living thing in the universe BY FAR

  • What about the reverse?

  • A lot of men must've liked this. Nicely put. The husband is third wheel or second priority. That's why I put my attention on my man and of course others, but him mainly because he's been hurt before by a single mother...she cheated.

  • That's why a LOT of fathers cheat and vent to childfree women. Ewwwww but goodness so many regretful stories. " I love her, she's the mother of my kid but I never wanted the kid" or " we have s** but I wish I never married her and had a baby. I love my kids blah blah blah..." my cue to communicate but leave forever cuz single fathers are a no go. Glad to play therapist but whoa...

  • Run from parents, do not date them, esp unwed parents with tons of kids by different fathers/mothers!

  • Unlike you idiots, whom somehow felt at gunpoint and forced to give birth, I'm smart enough NOT to be in such hellish situations...abortion. Not dragging a lil parasite around me. I'd kill it. My temper is triggered easily. Slowing me down and ruining my dreams, body, money AND sleep. But-byeeeeee!

  • Exactly. They have nothing else to do. How sad. No sympathy here. Except for the party that's trapped but then again, shouldn't have had s**.

  • You're an ass.

  • HEY!!! Donkeys are cute! With the big long ears they have. But my ass is huge though.

  • Apparently there's a 2000 character limit, so I had to post my comment in 3 parts. Read them in order, I labeled them

  • (Part 3) - The only thing worse than having to raise kids would be raising them poorly and sending 4 criminals out into the world; all of which having the ability to multiply themselves and starting a whole exponential lineage of s***** people. The human race depends on you now, and they are YOUR mistakes and therefore YOUR responsibility. It's a hard pill to swallow. But a little easier to swallow with a tall glass of beer, lol

    Stay strong brother, I'm right there by your side in spirit. I feel you 100%

    Check out Louie C.K. - Live at Becon Theater. He talks about how s***** having kids are a lot, but in an absolutely hilarious way. It's on Netflix or you can just Google it. Stand up comedy in general really helps me get through it all.

    You're a hero in my eyes brother. I have nothing but love for you.

  • Check out Michael McIntyre, he talks about how people without kids have no idea. I've always known.

  • (Part 2) - It's been 11 years now and it hasn't gotten any better. But I hope you find some comfort in this response. I know what it's like having these feelings and not being able to talk about them. It seems like NO ONE understands. Everone looks at you with disgust if you bring up anything remotely negative about being a parent. And I feel like I'm a bad person for the way I feel. I've tried therapy, but it didn't work.

    You're a great man for sticking it out, brother. I can't express how much of a relief it is to hear that someone has the same feelings as me about being a parent. I really suggest - and this is going to sound horrible, I know - but I really do suggest you try to take a shot of alcohol when these feelings get overwhelming. If you can deal with 4 dream killers running around, you can definitely deal with a nasty taste in your mouth for a minute. When times are really tough I'll take a pain killer. That's the best way I've found to handle it. Both of these options really take the edge off and makes it easier to act like your happy to be around them. Remember, they didn't f*** your wife, you did. It's not their fault they were born. Just don't become a drunk or a druggy and ruin their life that way either.

  • Dream killers. Awesome! I know they are and I don't and will never procreate any.

  • (Part 1) - You're not alone, bro. My heart bleeds for you. I never even dreamed of having children at any point in my life, but sure as s*** I got a girl pregnant at 17, and it's everything I though it would be. I regret it every day of my life. All I wanted to do was spend my 20's back packing around the world. Now I'm 30 and that dream is long gone. All I can do is think about what could have been.

    I stuck around because it's not her fault and I don't want her growing up with daddy issues. I put on a smile and give her big hugs and do things with her, but it takes a lot out of me to put on such a facade. It's not her fault I f***** up when I was a teenager. But I made my bed and now I have to lie in it. Sometimes I wish I would have chosen not to be there at all and just pay my monthly fee - I mean child support. She's actually a really good kid. She deserves a loving father. I worry she's going to see through my acting one day and it's going to break her heart. And I only have to see her every other weekend.

  • Love how you owned up to your unplanned mistakes bruh.

  • If Tori Spelling is on here, all I can say is, b**** you deserved it, weak sauce. Disgusting cow

  • I'm 29, living on my own, an only child thank God mom had miscarriages, she actually listened, parents decide to give me life, I'm grateful and I love them BUT I don't owe them anything. Old people annoy me. So I'm not going to have them leaving with me. They did a good job. Plus I live in a different country and partial misanthropic. So if they think that I'd take care for them as they age, think again. I feel sorry for large families.

    I don't feel sorry for miscarried women, could be a blessing or you deserve it. Hence why parents on here complain and whine. See ya!

  • You’re a horrible c***

  • Partial misanthropic? More like psychopathic. It sounds like you'd be perfectly happy grinding your parents into cat food were that an option. You're going to have a lot of trouble living with yourself when you get old. Maybe you've already thought of that and have decided to kill yourself before then. I would highly recommend that option. In such case, the world would be better off without you because you sound like a real piece of s***.

  • As selfish and heartless as this person sounds I have to agree. People don't ask to be born and should not be expected to take care of aging parents. Another of the many wrong reasons to have children.

  • Um I deserve to be selfish just like these parents here and my parents. Love em but not my responsibility to care for them as they age, that's why they have each other. Heartless, I already know, I am misanthropic. Duh. They did their job and I'll do mine 😏

  • Wow, what an a****** you are. You feel zero responsibility to your parents as they age?! I simply can't comprehend that attitude. To reiterate, if I hadn't made my opinion clear, what a total a****** you are. This may sound harsh, so please don't take it the wrong way but, you probably should not have been born.

  • Thank you!!! Then I wouldn't care. Are you breeders that dense or choose to look the other way or just incredibly doltish? Get real.

  • They won't listen. Just continue to b**** and moan as if anyone is listening. Learn things the hard way and it didn't have to be hard. Yeah I cared enough to comment as anyone on here but I really can careless about these parents problems. They did it to themselves. Enjoy the pregnancies and the gross s** during that "sacred time" hope then lil b****** gets miscarried or stillborn. Parents make me sick. Only several I actually love. Babies are a sack of potatoes that are unimportant to others. Not cute. Ciao dolls!

  • Yup. I know I'm right. Proud of it. Duh!

  • It's selfish if your kids hate their own life and commit suicide, thus your problems would be solved. Selfish parents have kids for THEIR own wants. "YAY we're pregnant, I can't wait to meet him/her! It's gonna take care of us when we age" Baby arrives, H*** breaks loose, baby grows up, develops mentality and emotions, speech. Scenarios: 1) kid dies from cancer, in a car accident, goes missing, whatever... 2) reaches adolescence and ends up hating the parents, going to therapy, parents ignores the kids real issue but diagnosed it as ADD or some crap so they won't discipline it, the kid uses them as walking ATMs, possibly plotting to kill them in their sleep; moves out and far away, disowning the parents, knocking up some trashy b****, and YOU have to deal with his or her child, worth it? 3) kid commits mass murder or suicide, abuses the parents in his/her old age or abandons them at a old ppl home 4) parents are saddened and disappointed, "we didn't know, we did what we could, we thought he/she was happy--waaahhhh!" Well it WAS all about YOUR wants that never benefit the child. Enjoy the consistent stress.

  • What the f*** are you even talking about dumb ass

  • You know exactly. Too much for your breeder mindset? No surprise there. You're just selfish. Awww throwing insults because I struck a nerve eh? Typical coming from someone like you. Life ain't that hard...oops you have a kid, never mind.

  • LOL no one likes because they know it's a plausible truth. They ain't worth jack s***!

  • I'm not alone love my kid but geesh!

  • I feel the exact same way-i feel like i have to love the kids theyre my responsibility but i hate it--id rather die than be a full time mom they deserve someone has desire for it--i have NONE WHAT SO EVER im soo sorry i didnt get an abortion i want my old life back-i hate this-i feel so bad &guilty but i HATE HATE HATE being a mom

  • Ok Casey Anthony... and other losers liking. So dense. Enjoy your H*** on earth. Try not to commit a mercy murder suicide

  • Here we go again...another wishing for death. Stop playing victim. But damn

  • I'm a single mother and, although I don't hate being a parent, if I knew the strife that awaited me, I would not have had a child.

    My husband and I were in love, married at 22, had the white picket fence house, dog, etc. and everything seemed perfect for a while. We had our baby daughter when I was 24. Well, when my husband hit his 30s, he decided to go into an identity crisis, spend through our money on cars and other toys for himself, while becoming increasingly aloof to the family. He also lost his job and developed a victimized mentality. It wasn't long thereafter when he started preying on younger women and having affairs. We divorced when we were 34.

    I'm now 37 and raising a child on my own. I have always worked, but don't make a great salary ($28K). My ex has never paid child support. It is paycheck to paycheck, in terms of finances. I've tried dating a little, but the very few guys who seemed to be contenders didn't like that I had "baggage."

    I love my daughter. I don't hate being a parent, but I wish that I had not brought her into the world of difficulty that we experience daily. Of course, I didn't know it was going to be this way at the time. Hindsight is 20/20. I just wish that life was not so much of a daily battle. Having a child makes it more challenging, but not worse. We'll get through it together, and be stronger for it.

  • Sweetheart...the future is getting worse day by day. Christ foreshadowed it. Let's hope the purge doesn't commence. Soon ID or tracking chips will be inserted into our skin worldwide, maybe, idk...look out.

  • WTF do you think a cellphone is bud? Same chip, just not in your skin. Sure you can leave it home, but let's be real here.

  • Let's be real and look at the real picture, End of Times; yet you focused on something trivial: tracking devices. I said "maybe, Idk" you breeders sure are dim. I'd be worried too, if I have to constantly stress and worry about my child, KNOWINGLY that I brought forth to this horrid world and it's getting worse day by day. How's that going so far?

  • Calm TF down breeder. You mad? LOL

  • I'm a father of one, it sucks most of the time, but it's manageable and I love the little rascal. My wife, mother, and mother-in-law keep pressuring me to have another one. I've made it very clear to my wife I will absolutely not have another child. I work and make good money only to spend it all saving for private school, healthcare, trips to the grandparents, etc. While my wife stays at home, by the time I get back from work, she's so tired of dealing with our child that she has no patience for me, we can't even have a conversation. S** life is in the gutter, and she says she wants 2 more. I love her, but her need to have another child borders on insanity. I will gladly pay child support if it comes to that, I don't understand people who have more than two kids then find out they hate it, I knew after the first one, I can see maybe having two, but three or four? WTF is this the 1700s? Unless I was making a baseball team or needed them to work on the field, I think 2 is more than enough.

  • I wish I could be Mary Sunshine and tell you that it gets better (that's what they told me when I was a young father; "fake it till you make it!" they said.) That's how I wound up with two more. IT DOESN'T GET BETTER! I have great kids; healthy, smart , and reasonably well-behaved, but for me it sucked all the way through. The kicker is, that now that I have my life back, I've lost interest in the things I thought I couldn't wait for. I'm equal parts remorseful that I didn't make better memories with my kids, and resentful that my life is over and I never got to live it for me. Now the grandkids are arriving and I'm not finding joy in them (I really SUCK). Cut your losses! Divorce the baby factory, pay your child support and find what makes you happy. Your kids know if you're miserable and whether it's because of them or not, they always blame themselves. It's better to have a parent missing from your life than to grow up feeling like the obstacle between your parent and their happiness.

  • You're selfish either way. Haaaaaa!!! You have a point though. That's why so many dads abandon their families, it's too much. LOL poor mums, should've COMMUNICATE and listened and not trap a guy.

  • Dude! You are awesome. I love this line, "Your kids know if you're miserable and whether it's because of them or not, they always blame themselves." I'm on my way to the courthouse now.

  • PffftHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Dude seriously?! Oh wow that made my day. Should've abort and PROBLEMS solved

  • Vasectomy in case she sabotages birth control / pokes holes in condoms

  • Buy her birth control pills bruh. TELL HER!!!!

  • I agree, one is MORE than enough. I don't get these bitchy women who can't handle one kid and harp about more? Wtf for??? Kudus to you for knowing your limit and standing your ground!

  • I turn 44 this month and my husband and I have two boys 15 and 17. I love them, but they are at that hormonal, crazy age, and it drives me crazy. I feel like I'm working as a part-time detective, to make sure they are not skipping class, doing drugs, attending parties, or f****** girls. They both are having trouble with their grades and have become rather defiant in some ways that kind of p***** me off. I have done my best to teach them good morals, but the bad influences around them are substantial. The area in which we live is urban and is not the best area, but it isn't the ghetto either. They are also becoming really expensive to maintain. They both play sports, burn a lot of calories, and the amount of food that they eat damn near puts us in the poor house. I can't believe our grocery bill every month.

    I'm hoping in a few years that they will have the grades and self-discipline to go to college and make something of themselves. As it stands, I'm starting to wear out. If I had it to do over again, I'd think twice about having kids.

  • How can you NOT see the possibility of this coming? It's ALWAYS safe to not procreate. There's only a slim chance you have, which I've witnessed, well-mannered children, but those are very very slim my friend. Discipline plays an excellent roll. Make them get jobs...

  • There's a slight chance they won't but keep up what you can do.

  • You probably won't see this since it has been almost 5 yrs., but I have six kids and many times I regret having the last two. All of them are with my husband, but when you get older you are just more tired. I had loads of time on my hands and I was healthy when I decided that I wanted two more. Now I'm not as healthy and when you get older it just isn't the same. I love them and they do the cutest things sometimes and I think they are just perfect, it is just that sometimes I wonder what I was thinking. I have 15 yrs. till all of mine are old enough to leave and I'll be nearly sixty then. It kind of depresses me. But not as much as it seems to depress you. Good luck

  • Why are the non parents so angry? It sounds like they are here to say "I told you so," or it's the same person posting angry and "I knew it" type comments over and over. I'm child free but I don't take any pleasure in seeing parents who are sleepless or suffering. Why mock them? I think some people come here because they probably were not able to find someone to have children with or maybe for health reasons they couldn't, so now they write harsh comments to parents to prove a point. The parents here are regretful but some of the child free people seem bitter or maybe they are childless not out of choice.

  • I'm a CF lesbian and I'm not angry per se. I just wish people would put thought into this decision like we do. Besides, with the world in the state it is in at the moment, having children is a moral crime. The planet is dying due to too many people as it is, famine in South Sudan, refugee kids in Syria dying under a butcher of a dictator...and all they want is a mini me. Just NO. Criminally selfish.

  • The 9 likes are mindless breeder copies whom think the same and I just love how they choose to focus on certain parts of the content and ignore the actual contents that are explained. How dimwitted can they be? Oh wait. Crickets...

  • Also, us CF are doing ourselves and the planet a favor, from keeping our happiness and sanity and a less filthy population from growing like a weed.

  • You worded that articulately! Brilliant. Think before act. People want kids as if they want a Pomeranian or any toy dog for their entertainment or attention. Kids are just little paychecks. Say "how dare you?" When you see an expectant woman rather "congrats!" But really, what's with the congratulations for? Congratulations you had unprotected s** and biologically formed a kid? Congrats you're a mammal. No bid d.

  • The broad is mad for some reason. Just telling it like it is and being real. Apparently there are a LOT of angry snowflakes on here. Famine is imminent and these parents will cause a war to feed to their many accidental mouths. A woman down below couldn't get pregnant, now that she has twins, she regrets. Amazing. They're selfish yet they project that upon us....riiiight. We're just intelligent to look ahead. They just thought shortsightedly in the "here and now" they know the truth. Just too stupid and choose not to listen. Famine causes war then disease and children contract disease...no ones angry. The person above can't seem to differentiate between truth telling and anger. Sad. Snowflake haha

  • People are having fewer kids and there are 2 births for every death. Eventually, it'll all smooth out. If not, we'll all be dead anyway.

  • Meow! Angry? Bitter? Me? HAHAAAA ok keep telling yourself that. I absolutely love my life. No brats to ruin it.

  • Hello. Let me state that I'm a proud childfree by CHOICE, 32 yo man. 1) For a "childfree" person such as yourself and claim to be, why would you insist on calling the gloating childfree (probably not, I don't know) as "non-parents"? I am a parent to my pets and play parents with my niece and nephews. You, a "childfree" person calling or marginalizing other childfree people as "non-parents" as if you're insinuating we're all meant to be parents. Here's the bad news sir or ma'am...not everyone wants kids. You're practically calling yourself a non-parent; childLESS. Childfree isn't a bad word, ok? My life isn't less of wanting a child, trust me on that. I have nuturing traits for those I love. Maybe you're the one on the fence of wanting a child but couldn't. Did YOU suffer a miscarriage or some crap? Usually such venom is reserved for deflecting feelings of envy. Us real childfree don't want the demand of parenthood, I give the parents on here props but it'd bea LOT helpful in real life! I'm not a boastful person because things backfire on me, c'est la vie hehe. I do sympathize for the parents on here, and honestly, sorry to hurt some of you, but some of these comments from parents are utterly absurd and inane for procreating children, I mean seriously. I'M not angry for CHOOSING the life I wanted and continue to keep it that way, bitter? me? There's no reason to, I got myself fixed years ago, so no health or infertility issues here, life's swell! Christ is Love!!! So do NOT associate me with the gloating childfree lady/guy. 2) Why does it bother you so much whether a person is gloating or not? Yeah, I get it, it can be annoying---but you're entertaining that person/people. They'll eventually get bored and tired. I refuse to waste my time disparage or lecture someone/people like that, yet I'm referring to them now ha! You just possibly stirred up their pot. I agree, I wish I could just hug for these regretful parents, and I wish you all well. Not finish--

  • 3) It's refreshing to hear from parents breaking free from the bandwagon pretending parenthood is the best thing ever; everyone has their own happiness. I love how you parents on here are honest, get all that crap of your chests! It's a great deal of pressure for you parents. Whew!!! T the person/people gloating, I get it, it's condescending whenever boastful parents state how they pity us and forget it's a choice. I just hope those fake parents are on here tbh, then the "I told you so's" are applied, but to the parents on here venting in tears and rage, I'm sorry for the H*** you seem to be in, it gets better, I pray it does. 4) People like to gloat, who doesn't?! it's what they're proud of but I believe in a cocky way. Kids gloat all the time, "Look ma I found a puppy!", "Hey guys my mom made cookies and I helped" or "I'm pregnant!" just ignore them. I apologize for being or seeming like a p****, then again, I'm not, because I'm explaining MY 2 cents. Sometimes the "I told you so's" are on point but still...not wanted, again, sorry, just being honest. I wish you all the best, God bless, Vaya con Dios

  • You seem to have completely missed the point on the post above. whenever someone writes a paragraph about how great their life is on a thread which is meant for parents to vent, you know that person is trying to convince themselves their life is great. mine is too but i do not need to on detail. who cares.

  • Well you do apparently. You don't like people who gloat, move on and ignore.

  • Sounds like someone's salty about their screaming baked potato

  • LOL Love it!

  • LOL looks like I affected you, good, but you cared ENOUGH to comment. Bothered much? Get out of your feelings ya crazy broad. You childfree? More like childless. To the dude above...good for you. Now that I know it bothers you, I'll continue. Hahaaaaaaaaaa!!!😝

  • I agree, I think that's what's happening too. The same bitter person(s) gloating over and over. I guess if they type it here enough times they may begin to believe it.

  • My comment is WAY down there from months ago with a lot of likes. And I've been believing it. I'm sure you have that issue. I don't get girls preggo. Ew.

  • No issues here at all. Just wondering what the gloating is about on here.

  • Yeah I made you have an issue. Deny all you want though. That's ok 😏

  • I wouldn't bother. Just ignore them, him/her. Don't entertain my dude.

  • Love this:

    Bitterness at its finest. Us childfree people take great delight in our decisions when people like you post :D

  • What the f*** are you guys even talking about. This is this a confession post about your child free life or parenthood? stop f*****' stalking people who have kids and want to vent and go get a life. Interestingly enough your child free choice bullshit has landed you on the same site as someone with a child so I'm guessing your obviously bored as f*** with your lonely ass life bc the only way I found this site was by typing in I don't like parenthood and some how your on here f*** face...r u you so bored your still trying to decide on parenthood and convince yourself? if so welcome...if not go eat a d*** and do something people without kids can't do right now since your life is so great. F*** man...go babysit and see if you really want kids rather than trolling this post

  • Die in a fire

  • No, his/her kids should go diaf

  • Btw that's a post from WAY down there from another childfree person gloating. Teehee!

  • You're doing a good job of that buddy. Die from a heart attack brought by your kids due from stress. 😂

  • That's really pathetic of you to delight in the suffering of others.

  • That's really pathetic of you, I assume a parent, coming on here. Too late! I'm here for fun! Stop playing victim. You'll get over it...or not. Oh well

  • Whether you parents who want to just leave or not, keep this in mind: once you become a parent, you're a parent for life.

  • No one likes because it's the damn truth.

  • Parents hate the truth. Pathetic. "Isn't my Chelsea beautiful?" (A fat 4 year old)..."ohhh I like her...shoes" (walks away and spoils their dog)

  • Once you give birth and raise that child, it's ALL competition in life. Best schools, best healthcare, foods, etc. Have fun doing that. There are kids, adults, whom sue their own parents. Yeah parenthood is SO rewarding and worth it. FOH

    Explain WHY kids are somehow worth it without lying and trying to convince yourselves. Try not to sound selfish.

    Now explain why they're not worth it.

    I can be rest assured that the cons outweighs the pros. Snip Snip! Goodbye ovaries!

  • Once you give birth, you already put a death sentence on them. Who's selfish again?

  • Don't feel bad. Most parents have periods of time that they hate being a parent. Hopefully as yours get older & are more independent you will be able to enjoy being a parent again.

  • I feel the same way.the worst thing is that my 13 year old does not appreciate anything I do. I am a single divorced parent and I hate it. If I had known it was going to be like this, I would have never had a kid.

  • Too late!

  • Thanks Einstein.

  • Babies can do less than 5 things. Puppies can do more, plus they're stronger...enough said.

  • Im hoping someone can relate to my situation i am stuck in. i am with someone for very superficial reasons. dating has been difficult for me as i usually do not end up attracting the type of person i am attracted to. i finally did and in a very shallow way i feel that i obtained some type of status by being with this person. i suffered from severe depression and anxiety when i was alone so having this person filled a void in my life. we dont get along that great and fight quite often but i keep going as i know how difficult it was to even meet someone like the person i am with. the only issue now is that my significant other wants children. i never really have. i am inclined to do it just so we can stay together because i dread the thought of being by myself again and dating people who i am not even into. i keep saying i guess i can deal with the baby and will do it for her. i know there will be more bills and less time for me start my side business i have been working so h******. i dont know if i pick loneliness or having a baby i dont really want.

  • Having children won't guarantee that you won't be alone. Most likely this person will leave you eventually and then you'll be stuck with a kid you don't want, paying bills you dont want and watching her have more kids with another man while you have the kid every other weekend (or more... you might even end up with full custody and then how will you find someone) .... you will still be alone and trying to date people you aren't attracted to. You'll end up knocking someone else up and then you'll have to do it all again. Loneliness is WAY better than creating a human you don't want just to keep someone who will leave you anyway. Why would anyone think that a kid will ensure that they'll never be lonely? Have you not seen the divorce rates?

  • Don't have children if you are unsure. It is really really hard work that never ends and puts immense strain on even the strongest connections. Definitely find happiness other ways!

  • Maybe it would be wise not to have a baby with this partner of yours. Especially after reading this thread where parents are sharing how difficult it can be, you might be setting yourself up for more heartache and pain, as well as paving a difficult path for your children before they even get here.

    I respect these parents sharing their experience and their difficulties. Perhaps you can look at their honesty as a cautionary tale for you, and even a warning. If you don't feel ALL IN about having kids with this person, it's probably for a reason. You may have landed on this page to help you with this decision. What is your gut telling you?

    And as someone who has dealt with depression and has worked in counseling, Take the time to heal within yourself however you see fit. You deserve to live a life that's actually right for you, and there's plenty of ways out there to help you get through depression and lonliness. (I started with a Google search and ended up volunteering on a suicide hotline. Oddly enough volunteering/training helped me work through my own issues....but find what works for you).

    Whatever you decide, I'm Wishing you the best, and remember to be good to yourself! Make choices that help you bring out the greatness that is already within.

  • I was in a similar situation, except really had a connection to this man (now my husband). I've never wanted kids in my whole life. He knew this and still assumed I'd just change my mind because a woman who doesn't want kids is 'just a phase'. After about 5 years together, we were going through some tough times but working things out and then the accidental pregnancy occurred. I didn't want this, but between the difficulties we were getting past and the new guilt trip he was bringing in me for not wanting the baby, I allowed myself to be talked into keeping it. The first six months were absolute h***. Things are better now (our child is four), but I have never once been glad that I let my husband talk me into keeping the baby. I love our child, but I truly hate being a parent and feel that it had sucked the life out of me. My husband and I love each other, but our relationship is not as good as it used to be and I think deep down he knows he asked me to do something I never wanted to do. I think now he knows it wasn't just a phase. I will take any opportunity to get out of the house by myself and do what I want to do.
    My advice: if you don't want kids, don't have them and don't let anyone talk you into it. Even if you are absolutely in love with someone, don't be talked into it.

  • Your advice is duly noted. Thx!

  • Thank you for sharing this.I am 29 and my friends are all having babies.I have never wanted to be a mother,but everyone around me tells me I will regret it if I don't have children. I'm scared that they are right,and that I and my partner will become lonely and socially isolated as we age.i have done a lot of reading on the subject,but what I need are honest thoughts from people like me who now find themselves being parents.so,thank you for helping me to decide.

  • I'm 30 and going through the same thing. We have to remember that people with kids get lonely too. My grandma and grandpa had eight kids. They now have 40 some grandkids and countless grandkids. Grandpa died in the year 2001 or something like that and grandma feels alone a lot. I think having a partner you can love fully and close relationships no matter what kind of relationships they are is how to escape loneliness. Have hobbies, get out, socialize with people in the community, volunteer, have pets, stay busy, and stop thinking the grass is greener somewhere else or that there is something wrong with you because everyone is jumping off a cliff, plunging into parenting and you don't want to. Sure we won't know what it's like to be parents but they won't know what it's like to fully live life on thier own terms. Having kids only because you're afraid to be alone when you're older is not a good enough reason. You'll find yourself posting often on this blog probably!

  • So do you regret marrying him? Or is putting up with a baby you didn't want but love worth it because you can still be with him?

  • I think I do regret it, if I'm honest with myself. Love isn't so rare in the world and if not having a child want good enough for him he could've found someone who wanted children and I could've found someone who didn't. I still love my husband, but I also resent him for talking me into something I never wanted. Pregnancy hormones made me quite irrational, too, and I was scared. I think at that time I was more scared of going through an abortion alone than of conceding my thoughts on the topic. But I know I'd be happier now if I'd never had a child, with or without my husband. I still hold hope that it'll get easier when my son is more capable and independent. Don't know if it will, but hope keeps me from running away because I know I'd feel terrible about that forever, too.

  • Thank you so much for responding to me. I wrote the comment above that you responded to. I keep going back and forth in my mind and am very tempted to call her and tell her we should get back together and that I will have a baby for her. I get lonely, depressed and feel hopeless at times because I am single now. But I know I am dealing with internal issues as opposed to the more tangible financial obligations, time commitments etc.. that come along with having a child. I will stay strong.

  • Damn, he just messed you up. Thank God I stayed in my right path. Good luck with all that. I'm pro-choice. Being single is a time to get to know yourself.

  • Totally agreed. Don't ever let anyone convince you to have a baby with them. It won't make your relationship stronger... You will only end up being bitter towards them.

  • "I feel like our relationship is finally working, let's ruin it with babies" LOVE that quote. Seriously I've seen that happen A LOT, even men giving their wives, mainly girlfriends "shut up babies". A woman constantly begging/bugging her man to get her pregnant to shut her up already. I guess love is diminishing and relationships are becoming relationshits and children are just born without passion. Sucks.

  • I hate to break it you all but I love being a parent....

    apart from...

    The loneliness
    The suicidal depression
    The career that went to s**t
    Inability to sleep when I do get time for it.
    Being repeatedly put down for not following childcare orders exactly.
    Being coerced into doing whatever is demanded while pretending that it was my choice.
    None of my own friends left to speak to.

    But keep a smile and pretend. Here we go...

    It's just so satisfying being a parent. I can't imagine being without a child...

  • That's different. You probably WANTED therefore CHOSE to be a parent. Wanna cookie? These people regret so they can imagine being without child(ren) and Why are you on here? Regret possibly as well?

  • Pretend? Haha ok. I can imagine life without kids. So peaceful. Just the 2 of us traveling the world

  • From a parent that was in your shoes now and made it worse. Obvious enough?

    "No - staying w someone to keep from being lonely is bad enough (that's what I did) but once we had a kid (15months old) it drained our souls and hearts and because we stayed together out of fear of being alone, we can't parent together on the same wave length because we're not the right ppl for one another. Having a kid killed any bright aspect of our relationship that was left and I can't stand being a parent. My soul is sucked dry I'm constantly sick from being run down from no sleep working full time and taking care of everything while listening to a baby whine and throw tantrums - I whisper to myself at least once a day "God I wish I didn't have a kid" - have a kid if u meet ur soul mate and both agree on parenting style - also don't have a kid if ur not doing good financially".

    This person became wise and insightful after all this occurred upon him/her unfortunately ...

    I'm sure it opened your eyes now, if not, well enjoy H*** and kiss EVERYTHING farewell.

  • Really? It's not THAT hard?? You're on this site, asking for suggestions of an obvious answer. Loneliness is a blessing. People on here wishing for peace and quiet and time for THEMSELVES but it'll never happen due to all the damn kids they "somehow" spawned and partners they wish to leave. Why add your argumentative person into your "lonely" yet peaceful life, let alone a damn baby, which is worse.
    You'll be FOREVER stuck to that person whom you're selling yourself short with; you are. Read the comments bud, answers are obviously there. That possible kid will be the end of you and God forbid, lead you to suicide which some pathetic "parents" on here yearn to do. It'll deepen your wound of depression. Don't be desperate. Leave your person and WAIT for someone that'll love you and respect the things you enjoy.
    Good things come to those who wait. Why just stay "settled" with the loser? You ain't married! Find a hobby dude (or girl). I rather be depressed and lonely with peace/tranquility than depressed with a child I never wanted, though regretfully spewed with a partner I NEVER wanted to be with and making my life H***. Do you know how many people on here would kill to be in your shoes?!
    You work? The activities of a single person or childfree couple are endlessssssss. Workout, get a makeover, travel, etc. Why choose something thats Hellish? BABIES RUIN EVERYTHING! Everything as in in marriages, finances, s**, bodies, mentally, need I say more??? They're not cute. Get puppies. Don't mean to be rude or anything, just pointing out the obvious. Point blank. Good luck in life...

  • I needed this. Thanks!

  • You're like so welcome 😄

  • Dude, pick lonliness!!! A kid will destroy a good relationship let alone a bad one! Seriously, get out now and look for a childree woman.

  • Yeah parents will kill for a moment of peace and quiet. Like locking themselves in the bathroom. That bad LOL. I just wake up with my doggie, decide to go for a run, text my bestie and shop, etc. Life's so good.

  • Dude this all could've been preventable. You're a selfish breeder. WE KNOW you people put on an act. You had nothing going for you, and thought not 1, not 2 but 4 KIDS could fix it and NOW you see YOU made your life much worse and irreversible. Don't resent your offspring for the mistakes YOU created. Good luck in life.

  • Im sure youre so perfect. Shut up & go away.

  • My wife works weekends, so it's like I'm a single father looking after him for two days before returning to work on Monday. And don't you pay through the nose for them? What you give, time and money-wise, is a fact. What you get back, positive or negative, is opinion. I prefer facts.

  • This whole thread is so incredibly sad.

  • Yup. But true.

  • It's quite funny because all this could've been reversible yet people on here continue to be dumb and worsen their situations and not try to fix but complain like spoiled kids. Sad as in pathetic more like.

  • I am a 21 year old single mom. I absolutely do love my son - that is not a farce. I can feel that when I look at him, but as far as the positives versus the negatives of parenting go, I am absolutely not meant for parenthood. I am a selfish individual with no maternal instinct and I lose my temper daily. It's truly unfortunate as my child does deserve more than what I am able to mentally provide. I think there should be less of a societal backlash on this "taboo" subject as many parents feel this way but wallow in their emotions rather than expressing them due to societal expectations. I've read many responses on this post that tell people to "suck it up" and "live with their mistakes" which is simply not logical. These types of situations always spiral out of control and get worse before they get better. I truly believe living feeling imprisoned will only hurt all the children with parents who are affected by this in the long run. I would love to set up a sort of support group of people who want the responsibility of parenthood that could potentially help co-parent struggling households. I believe their should be more options for people suffering as the majority of us on this post are. Does any one have any ideas or advice to get through this? I'd love to address the needs of my child and myself in the best way possible given the situation but am lost in how to do so.

  • I think your right and it sadly explains why there is so much abuse of kids by their parents, there's no support for people hating life and parenthood and i can see why some people snap and end up hurting the kids that have made their lives a misery. It should be made easier to give them up or access help for a proper break from them. Takes all my strength not to smack the little s**** in the face sometimes. Parents need a break and they don't get one these days.

  • Glad you owned up to your mistakes.

  • I'm not a parent yet, but this idea is a great one! Please make your idea & dream a reality. As you can see here, there is a lane, a need, and a market for it. Supporting, uplifting, and empowering each other makes a world of difference. Especially from a parent that has been through it. It's a win-win for you, other parents, and all the children involved.

    Even this space where people are able to get things off of their chest anonymously is healing in itself. You didn't get the idea by accident. If it came to you, it may be for a reason. Move forward with it. Good luck!

  • You are a wonderful person,to take a hard experience and use it to try and improve the world.i have no advice,other than maybe set up a website,but I'm sure you're doing the best you can for your kid and that's what matters.I have no kids myself,and I don't want them,but us childless women don't all hate parents.i respect you so much for doing something I couldn't.

  • Child LESS or Free? If you don't want them, it's referred as Childfree or CF. Childless just means you eventually want kids and trying or couldn't. Use the words correctly please.

  • We don't. Just the stupid ones.

  • I'd join your support group

  • Many wouldn't and remain anon in that support group. You have b****...I like b****.

  • L basically feel the EXACT same way as you and l am a mother of 2, being a mom who's less than thrilled about the daily pains of child rearing is "worse". People would probably consider me a bad person if they knew how frustrated and drained l feel from having to be a slave to my kids. l love my children more than anything and they're my biggest blessing and greatest gift but F*** l am EXHAUSTED

    l have 2 kids both who are too young for school so my whole day revolves around feeding them, cleaning up after them and basically taking care of their every need while l neglect myself to the extreme

    We aren't bad peoples for feeling the way we do, we would be. As if we didn't drudge through and get up to be a parent every day even though it's the last thing we want to do. We are just tired, we are drained and need some relief but it will come. Some days are better than others let's just look forward to those. One day we will miss them because they will be grown and no longer "need" us or would rather be with their friends so let's try to "enjoy"

  • Like end up in a nursing home and they'll never visit. Yeah kids are sooooo worth it and it's rewarding.

  • So true I've watched my grandpa cry because my mom is just too busy to call or visit him.

  • Buddy I heard the stories. Im an RN at a nursing home and this calm, very generous grandpa I met, he told me his own kids got tired of him being a burden and stole about $5k of his card, unbeknownst to his knowledge. I never really see anyone visiting him. Poor guy. Least I'm here. I love the elderly stories and keeping them company. But he did say "Sa damn shame my own kids did this after all I've done for them". Many of the relatives just come to mooch but a few care enough to visit and take out to spend time.

  • Wow. Talk about sacrificing for your kids, vice versa is just awful. That's so sad.

  • Sorry to burst your bubble of hope but some grown kids will stay with their parents in their 50s and mooching off them until they die and fight over the will. But whatever. It varies. I'm a tarantula...

  • You paint a depressing picture, of parenthood. But I don't blame you.
    You're expressing your feelings. If you can't do that, you may become depressed.

    I don't have any children, I made a conscious choice not to from an early age. Believe it or not, I knew I didn't want to be a parent from the age of six years and I'm now 32, I still stand by my choice. My partner feels the same way I do, in regards to having a childless life :)

    I feel sympathy and empathy for you, because if any parent knew how they'd feel becoming parents, prior to 'actually becoming a parent, they may have chosen differently' Unfortunately, no one can predetermine that :(

  • Part un. Actually you can predetermined many things. You just have to KNOW yourself. Try out things. I KNOW I don't want kids, I don't find babies cute, so I won't be stupid enough to have kids, but remain happy living MY life on my terms.
    If I had a kid, and I'm doing an activity I enjoy, I could get an annoying phone call of my kid or partner, saying "oh Billy is vomiting, we need you now", "Babe, the principal called, Sandra is in trouble" or "Mommy, daddy forgot to pick me up". EVERYTHING is abt him/her so I'd have to drop everything from what I was enjoying , even though it could be an activity I do as my pastime that occurs once a year due to having a kid and hectic scheduling. Nope. Kids aren't worth it. I cherish my privacy and me time greatly, and if anyone invades it, I leave, tell that person off, etc.
    What some of you ppl forget to realize, once you birth that child, your life will be nonexistent and it'll be all about your child's. And if some of you parents are hoping your kids to care for you in your elderly years thinking they're obligated to, like some sort of debt, allow me to ask this: are you guys lazy enough to care for yourselves in your elderly years or just scared? Do you guys already know you'll grow weak bones, become lazy and become dependent for your kids, forcing them to become slaves?

  • Part deux. EXERCISE!!! Remember: YOU brought them into this world without them having no say. Treat them right, discipline and pray for the rest. They might care for you, be your best friend (like my mommy and myself) they might die, they could move away or grow to hate you, watch it. They don't owe you anything. Do your job, like it or not with a smile on your face, fake or not. I'll spare those ppl that say "you'll be a terrible parent" well ignorami, I will never be a parent. "Whew!" On your part as if it matters in your life or affects it. Why are you worried about an imaginative kid that'll never be borne from my body and live in this world? I'm pro-choice btw.
    Go ahead, insult me for being too wise and shrewd enough to avoid being in all you regretful ppl shoes. Call me selfish. I rather be selfish for enjoying the things I love with other ppl that I love than being selfish, have a kid and neglecting it. Everyone' lives are different. If you can't accept that, buh-bye and get over it. Look in the mirror before judging me. I dare you. I just love my life immensely for it to be destroyed by a kid, but it'll be my fault.


  • Childfree dude. Get your facts straight

  • Except you're the father? Imagine how trapped your f****** wife feels you selfish prat

  • It sounded like his wife was the one who wanted more kids. It was pretty clear. I'm with somenw who wants more kids. And seriously...of you're not allowed to ever express this then you're living a lie. I hate being a father too. I'm involved, but my life has come to a halt. We argue about more children while I hope to go to college before I'm 30.

  • I f****** hate my toddler for the pure fact he doesn't f****** sleep EVER

  • Force him by yelling and STOP being his friend by negotiating with a little idiot that only comprehends to colors and cartoons. Lock him in his room until he tires himself out. Strap him to his bed. Drug him. Really?! That impossible stupid?! Do your job before you noticed you raised a criminal with antisocial problems that results in him shooting and committing mass murder. Good job.

  • YouTube Naptime 😂

  • If only they knew how much I hate the word "mommy."
    I cringe at the sound and I hide it with a fake smile. 😫

  • We know. But I smirked at you idiots in public cuz I know my life is FABULOUS.

  • Wow. How can you NOT see this coming? You're meant to be childfree. And we know.

  • F*** you loser

  • Duh. We know and witness it.

  • This post isn't fun anymore. Too many childfree people commenting on it. Yawn...

  • Hey, some of us childfree people may become parents that's why we're on here. So many of us hope and pray for it. Many of us want what we think you guys have: we look at the Facebook pics pf parents smiling with their kids, and they all seem so happy when they're out in the park and parents always tell us how damn awesome it is so we want a piece of that. What the reality is I have zero clue.

  • I'm on here so that I can make an informed decision on whether to be a parent or not.if everyone was as honest as you guys I wouldn't need to be here,commenting away.and I disagree with this very anti-child commenter: Not everyone knows if they would enjoy having kids.it's very easy to listen to your parents and friends and be convinced that kids are a good idea.

  • Welp! It's too late for those on here to know parenthood isn't for them. I've seen the stressful, irate faces of exhaustion. I do NOT need that. Nor my girl. She doesn't want to ruin her body, so she got her tubes tied. The women in her family are fertile, end up fat and she broke that chain by not wanting kids. Yay us! Plus I opened her horizon of not needing or wanting kids.

  • How did you open her horizons?? I need to open my long time GF's horizons...

  • Leave her

  • Also I don't cheat on women without children. Children make parents commit adultery. I love my lady.

  • I communicated with her and told her. Kinda made a hint "thank God my body won't be like that" and such. I guess she saw how it ruined her family members...and lost interest. So we got a corgi puppy.

  • Honestly, it's sick how much family and friends actually lie about how great it is. People really need to be more honest in real life so people who aren't well suited to parenthood can make better informed decisions.

  • My Mum lied to me about how blissful and meaningful parenthood is. Now after I become a mother, she admitted it's all LIES !!! Argh!!!

  • Too bad that won't ever occur. They just lie and convince themselves enough to believe it. Hehe like eventually grow to love their kids. Whatever.

  • You're childless. Don't speak for the childfree because you're not one yourself imposter. Dont marginalize us. We dont go on fb and yearn for something we dislike or hate LOL trust and believe. You're confusing praying for something we DON'T WANT to pity as in "Thank God we dont have those" Speak for yourself and wallow in your lies.

  • These posts are the reality of it. It sucks. Ur life is over especiallybif u have more than 1.

  • Your life is over by having just 1

  • Those people u see on facebook smiling with their kids are f**king liars. Ur childless friends stop coming by, ur trapped on the weekends while everyone else still gets to do things, endless diapers, endless messes to clean up, endless piles of laundry, endless screamimg and temper tantrums, endless feeding, endless tiredness, endless saying dont do this or that. U become a mindless slave. Its no walk in the park!

  • Some ChildFREE see friends with kids as lost causes; boring. Some of us abandon them in their H*** because we're living our lives and have better things to do. What do I have in common with them? Nada. So staying out Saturday night with other childfree friends is what I can do freely. Dave and Busters!!!

  • For every 1 "precious moment" are 99 frustrating moments. Save urself while u can. Its not worth it!!!!!

  • If i could have my life to do over again...NO F**CLING WAY would i have kids! I would stay single and enjoy life instead of being trapped in h***.

  • Says almost every regretful parent on here and IRL...

  • You mean childfree? Kids aren't worth it

  • Wrong dear. You confused "childfree" to "childless". Real childfree people come here due to reassurance (which we're aware of the pros and cons) and to see what sort of H*** is ike on the other side of the fence. Heck some parents who wish to be childfree go on childfree sites and lie and blather the martyrdom and state "I feel sorry for those who choose not to have kids" which is a projection. Real childfree people will do whatever it takes to prevent becoming slaves to lil crotchfruits, and that includes abortion with no regrets.
    Real childfree people KNOW having a child or children will ruin their lives and we can see it coming. We dont have to "give it a try" to know what it's like, yuck! That's because we can see through and witness the bullcrap parents go through with their own spawn in our daily lives. Some seem blessed, a lot look miserable and exhausted. To us, the cons outweighs the pros. Childless is one who can't have a child yet yearns one. Childless people are the ones you're referring to and are on the fence and we're never childfree in the first place. Nice try though. Bloop!

  • The truth is, one child is totally worth it if you can make the necessary sacrifices. Two or more is not. You end up giving up way too much of your selves with more than one.

  • China's one child policy

  • Of course YOU'RE tired. You've haven't caught up on your sleep hahaha.

  • I love my daughter dearly but the teenage years are tough on me. The attitude, the hormones, the disrespect. I'm too young for this, I honestly want to get up and just leave and never look back. I sacrificed for her, went through h*** and back when she was younger to secure a future for her and I am the hatred one and her father, who barely does crap, is her savior. I'm in my mid 30s and about to get remarried soon. I've made it clear that I do not want children. If he decides to change his mind and wants kids, because he doesn't have any, then God help him because this bank is closed for withdrawals. By the time my daughter heads off to college, I'll still be young.

  • "Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children." You may feel young, but you'll look like you have a child.

  • You're as young as you feel. As long as she's not trying to be a supermodel or pop star, she's good.

  • That phase or pubescebt angst of hers will fade and you two will be best friends but do NOT be her friend and she'll see her dad as the lousy one...maybe

  • Get those tubes tied QUICK and lie. What he won't know, won't certainly hurt him ;-)

  • Agreed tie those damn tubes

  • Hello. At least u had her young. I wish I would of had my children young and ended up having them at 37. What was I thinking. Hang in there. U r almost there.

  • Why does it matter how old or young you are? Having them too young means you were bored or NOT thinking or in stupid puppy love that dies when the kid is born. Having them too old means youre just selfish, risking your child will develop a mental disability and youre gonna age FASTER and be more miserable with your look-alike grandkid LOL You had them regardless. Live it with.

  • Janet Jackson. Selfish.

  • So glad I found this thread. I swear I feel like the only one I know that absolutely HATES being a parent. If I would have known it would be like this I would have given him up at birth. He's almost two now and the horrible feelings about basically losing my whole life haven't gone away. Everyone says it gets better. IT DOESN'T. If you're not absolutely certain you want a kid, or feel a baby is the ONLY thing missing from your life, I don't suggest having one. I HATE IT so much and it's like no one understands how I feel about it. I would try to talk to an adoption agency and play the "I'm not the parent this kid needs" card - apparently there's no legal limit on the age at which you can put a kid up for adoption but he's attached to us now and I don't wanna ruin someone's life with attachment issues by dumping him with some other family. (who could probably love him and provide for him better). I'd feel too guilty anyway. I just wish I could stop hating it so much. I feel like once he's about 10 or so it won't be so bad. He just totally wrecked my life. Yes, I was on birth control because I knew I didn't want kids. If I could go back, I'd either abort or adopt him away. My husband hardly talks to me about this because he doesn't like to listen to me say I hate being a mom, but I do! It's horrible and I can't believe anyone does this on purpose!

  • Have you ever thought about trying therapy to see if that helps? Sometimes just being able to talk to someone else about some of the things that we feel are too taboo to say out loud in our society can be helpful.

    Or someone who can help you see all of your options and how to move forward in a way that benefits your parenting and relationship with your children.

  • Seriously you need a hug. I feel so bad for you especially because you're trying to express what seems to be a real desire and your husband is ignoring it. He's probably too scared of being a single dad to say so leave! Or too afraid of societal pressure to give his kid away. I've thought about running away. There's too much pressure being a wife and a mother. Always be patient, always be kind, stay sexy, be on top of your chores f***! It's exhausting. I hope you find peace.

  • You're just a selfish mindless woman. You had a chance to abort but "who could probably love him and provide for him better" is just plain bs. That's like an idiot owner raising a dog, wants to get rid of it but thinks no one could do better, which you have no idea of. I hope you don't commit a mercy murder-suicide like some psycho moms did. You brought this upon yourself. Your unfortunate kid with a lousy mom like you...smh

  • I hope you know how pathetic you sound. Your poor child.

  • Seems like your man used you as a baby making machine that he wish could mute you...I'm sorry. Could've avoided that drama by being smart, thought it through and not falling for it.

  • My kid is almost 20 and is still in high school ,why did I have to have this stupid stupid kid?

  • Well...not EVERY child will be alike. They're their own individual. They all won't be the same. Some will be born with mental disabilities, autism, terminal illness, become gay, lesbian etc or ADHD or whatever bullcrap. Some will drive you to murder your own kin, suicide, neglect, cause you embarrassment, etc., like the mother who pushed her autistic son off the bridge because she couldn't "deal with him" anymore.

    You're lucky you don't have a kid with Down Syndrome or thats paralyzed due to some screwed up genetic issue and you'd have to care for her until he/she dies; so you'll be a slave and I've read stories. Your kid could miraculously turn out incredibly intelligent, see how you truly are, and somehow loathe you and not have kids of their own and maybe disown YOU and think "why did I have to have this selfish, egotistical parent that doesnt deserve the title of 'mom' or 'dad'?"(I assume). So stop your complaining, count your blessings and live with it. It's logical. It's life. Regret is SUCH an awful feeling and no escape? That's a H*** ON earth. That's YOUR child and he/she NEEDS your help in school and many more issues he/she will deal with.

    If every child was born normal, healthy, then the population would explode but it'd drop drastically as well. You probably deserved it even though you didn't WANT him or her the way they are and THAT'S SELFISH but you're stuck with what God assigned (punished) you with. Don't blame your kid for being stupid. Dont hate him or her for being gay, lesbian, transgendered. Blame yourself and your stupid genes for passing it down. Duh. Childfree eating this up HA

  • What???

  • Because you're selfish and we're bored and living through your kid because of your boredom. Live with it.

  • Lol you think your kid will move out at 18 you must be smoking something funny, your kid could be that man who still lives at home at the age of 37 and still works at McDonalds.

  • It varies from culture to culture. I've met ppl, mainly some Indians who don't really see that as a bad thing until their kid marries, thus moves out. It's the norm in their society and I never sense or see complaints, more like praises. Western society is self-destructing.

  • I have to ask out of curiosity, if you all hate being parents so much, why did most of you have more than one child? No offense, but it seems logical your troubles would at least double.

  • Because they're stupid and reek envy

  • They think they'll grow to love their kids. BAHAHAAAAAA

  • The reason why I had two kids is because kid number one was a mistake. Then guess what, my wife said she was pregnant again. That makes two mistakes.

  • That's your fault too. Take accountability. Have you seen the smallest violin?

  • Youre the primary mistake for doubling MORE of your mistakes you sniveling coward. Should've avoided touching her.

    For real. They know what they did. Idk why these idiots act as if they have no idea how a baby is made. Its takes 2 to tango!! Its like men forget a woman could get pregnant and "oops! Shes pregnant! Oh woe is me! How'd that happen? I had no idea!" Really? You forgot a sperm and egg could form a baby, you forgot inserting your sad p**** into her v*****, squirting unprotectedly into her uterus is procreating? Really?

    A lot of you men dont think at all when it comes to s**. Look at the unloyal men who cheat on their wives, sleep with other women and an illegitimate child is the result. Or worse, the other woman ends up murdered because the man didnt wear protection and she wants to keep the baby. Scott Peterson. There's a lot. The men are at fault to for being stupid. No one feels sorry. You're both guilty.

    Look at Marriage Bootcamp, Dani and Victor met through s** and that results in a child thats of course innocent and has s***** immature parents. She knew wgat she did. Ew and Tori Spelling and disgusting (ex) husband...gross. Breeder=mindless fools whom shouldnt breed. There should be mentality/psychological tests before producing a kid...too bad. You all deserve your H***.

  • That's what I keep thinking too. Why have more than one. I unfortunately have twins my first time around and it freakin sucks. One would have been more than enough for me. I tell everyone just have one if u r thinking about having kids. Only one. It will be so much easier.

  • No. You mean to tell people on the fence of having kids to try babysitting. Not trying it out. Youre becoming deceitful and misleading clueless couples into a misery that you don't want to suffer alone. Misery DOES love company. I wouldnt take ANY advice from you. I'll just look at you from top to bottom, seeing how exhaustingly old and frazzled you look and just enjoy my childfree life. We look a lot better anyway😏😌

  • That person was a slave to s** with out protection, lol.

  • Uggggggggh kids slow your WHOLE LIFE down omg,, i already kno

  • I already know and I have no kids and I don't want them. Useless, slow, ruin your routine lil snot rags. They wouldn't dare being in my way. Live obstacles. I'll leave them behind or abandon them. Keep up or I'll ditch.

  • Because they're altricial, meaning taking a long time to develop, I have no patience for a mindless idiot to raise. Nope! Hurry up!

  • Yeah after the miserable fact of being too late to change it

  • You sound Like me. I love my kids I really do but I hate being around them, I'd take a bullet for them but every time they scream mommy, mommy, mommy over and over or throw 3 hour tantrums because I turned off Caillou I want to walk out the front door and never come back I have no Idea how their father handles them. The only plus side I can think of is that I'm still pretty young and my youngest is 2, so I'll only be in my 30's when I get my life back.

  • You want to walk out the front door, when your kid throws a THREE HOUR TANTRUM and you're not whipping them or yelling at them?! You're allowing this to happen you dolt!!! You deserve this. You're just incredibly obtuse and a lazy parent. You don't love your kids, if you did, you'd discipline them. Have you heard of tough love?! Apparently NOT.

    Have to rain on your parade, but your kids may stay with you FOREVER, so you may feel young as spring chicken, but you'll look like a frazzled, exhausted parent. If you had them "pretty young" you didn't have a life then and probably now. Hope you do get "your life" back. Which I doubt that'll happen.

  • Hahaha u turned off caillou

  • The childfree community know this. That's why majority of us travel more often. It's growing.

  • I swear its like you wrote this for me. I feel the exact same way. This new girl In got with is pregnant. Idk what to do. I'm so depressed at the thought of another infant baby. A lot of days I think about killing myself just to end the misery.

  • I know this is dark but if I was in your shoes I would grab a few valuable things that are mine and start driving across the country and never look back. I would pay 115% of my child support dues every month and think of it as a monthly fee for getting my life back.

  • That's not dark, that's just being honest although a smidge pathetic, but honest. I'd do the same. At LEAST you're supporting your kin and not being a deadbeat. I'd pay 1000% though. Good comment. Funny actually. I've known people who don't have intrinsic relationships with one or both of their parents. So that can be a good thing.

  • Then you'll be in a worse place than now. Should've thought that through buddy. CONVERSATION! Condom! Now imprisonment. Abortion or miscarriage.

  • I'm a parent of 6-year-old twin boys. Both my husband and I hate being parents to the core. This is a freaking life sentence that we won't ever get out of. I keep thinking maybe it would be better with just one but we have double trouble everything. We hate everything about parenting. The con outweighs the pros. And it's not their fault. It's our fault for even considering having children. Everything revolves around them and it sucks. My husband and I try to hide from them in a different room just so we can just sit and have a grown up conversation and be together alone but it never last long. We just look forward to bedtime every night. That's the only freedom we have. Life sentence I tell ya.

  • You guys were meant to be childfree...too late now.

  • Yes. U r so very right. But we give our all to the boys. We try very much to be good parents. Overall, they r happy kids and they will never know how we feel. We do love them, by dang, parenting is hard.

  • Thank you. You're doing a good job. Seeing all the parents on here complain and vent, it indicates parenting is certainly hard and difficult. Hang in there!

  • I regret getting married and having a kid. My daughter is 3 months old now and I hardly feel any bond towards her. I simply go through the motions and pretend that fatherhood is such bliss. It's not. Marriage and fatherhood is a lifetime of doing things you don't want to do but do anyway just to avoid the nagging and arguments. I hate being at home as all I do is endless chores that my wife tells me to do while the little one bawls her head off. I feel like a beast of burden. I have no energy to do anything and I have nothing to look forward to except death I suppose. Sometimes the "noise" of all my responsibilities is so deafening I can't think straight and just pray I get a aneurysm in my sleep. Yes I pray for death even though I'm an atheist, that's how bad it is. Don't get married or have kids.

  • What do you think would help you alleviate the stress a bit that helps you deal with fatherhood in a way that helps you? (besides dying or leaving?)

    ie: Counseling, a divorce that entails co-parenting, support group, scheduled time away to recharge, hanging out with your guy friends to feel more of a sense of yourself besides just being a father/husband...etc

    What would make you feel more supported that is doable for you now?

    Wishing you well!

  • I can't...this is sad

  • Wow. Another one wishing for death...Looks like that empty void in your life will never be fulfilled through the joys of parenting/marriage, which consists almost 98% of sacrifices. That is required when you mindlessly yet impetuously bring another being into this world...I feel sorry for your kid more.

  • I Second that!

  • Bruh you could've avoided this...If only you BOTH talked about whom wants what and if it would make you happy, if only you wore a condom, if only you didn't believe her if she claimed to be on the pill, threatened to leave you, thus manipulating you, if only you visualize or imagine how having a child is difficult and hellish and rarely pleasant and horrid, like babysitting or spending time with children, if only you were REALLY decisive and knew yourself and what YOU wanted and not let others/society dictate and pressure you, if only you left your wife before tying the knot of matrimonial trap and end up with someone with the same likes/preferences, if only you guys had an abortion, if only you were smart, if only you knew...I see why you parents tell and lie to the childfree to join in your miseries by feigning "it's fun! The greatest love/gift from a child". Not falling for it. No thanks. Children in the future will starve or worse. Not my problem, can't feed your kids, don't bother breeding then. Myself helping out will surely enable stupid, mindless couples who shouldn't have kids, unfortunately have kids.

  • If you cant support yourself let alone a child, WHY on God's earth would you stupidly have a child anyway?! Childfree shouldnt fund for you wastes of oxygen

  • This is less about marriage and more about WHO you married. I have an amazing, close marriage with no children in sight. Ever. And it's a blast. My husband and I are best friends and truly enjoy our life together. We share the responsibilities equally and discuss everything openly. Marriage isn't for everyone, that's true. But not all marriages are s*** like yours.

  • Hi there. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought about death also because of the kids. My husband and I had those thoughts also. But thank goodness we r still here and making the best of whatever. Hahahaha. I just keep telling myself this is temporary. They will grow up. That has kept me going. Hang in there.

  • You sound like this oblivious yet stupid, in denial mother at my work. She complains how she'd love to die for a day, take months off, and how she so tired, etc. but backpedals like a martyr, which I don't buy. Death better than raising a child eh? I can refute the "children are worth it" bs. She's not bright so...I lack sympathy whatsoever.

  • Totally with everyone on this. My daughters 14 months old and I love her and people always ask "can you imagine your life without her now?"
    I would be having fun and I'd have some of MY life back. I'd not be going to bed at 10.00pm on a Saturday night because you know she's going to wake up at 2 and scream the house down. I'd be able to do stuff for me and I might have a bit of a life with my partner again instead of bickering or talking about her . ALL THE TIME.
    Like other people have said on here, I can't believe that people do this and they actually want to do this. Is it worth it? Maybe in the long run I don't know, I'm only 14 months into it but at the moment no chance.
    As for having more kids, not happening. I'd sooner cut my own b**** off than go through this again. Even the good bits.

  • Wow bud I give you credit for your merit statement. You HAVE b****. You could do more things sans kids but hey, your insight is on point. Bravo.

  • I'm not a parent yet but from what I can gather it does get better after the infant stage. A recent study found that only 3 percent of parent's claim to regret having children. That's very low. Of course, parents may not be sharing their true feelings but even considering this I reckon you might be looking at only 10% who regret having them. Maybe for the first two years it's tough but I bet it gets a whole lot better. I also think if you are an older parent (30 plus) then you are much more settled with having children. I certainly wouldn't have wanted them too early, in my 20's.

    I think if you imagine that you'd never had them you'd probably regret that also and think about what might have been.

  • No, study found 70% (give or take) regret having kids. There are so many whiny comments and venting. Like "give me a precise reason to be sympathetic to you just because you had a kid?"

    It's too late for them to alter their permanent choices. I rather regret not having kids, than having kids, SUDDENLY realized it's not all unicorns and butterflies, and regretted that I had them. Safe than sorry forever.

  • Had 1 at 21 better than in my teens f tat Lucky me had FAM help so I could still have fun clubs an s*** get it all out now tat its all out my system had fun wit kid vacays an FAM fun an to me tat better than stupid ass clubs wit folks just looking to get layed an probably end up with stork package .The only enjoyment I got out of clubs is music an beer I can do better in my music studio as am a DJ an singer y'all wondering y I yaping only about my self cuz it all about me now i miss me kid vacay but kid don't want to go or hang out with me nomo all kid cares about are video games now I guess it was fun while it lasted I have all the time in the world 4me at times I feel I don't have kid at all

  • I only hav 1 so do like me an only have 1 or have none c ama b real I am selfish I need my me work time. I knew after 1 I wasn't gonna b much good 4 mo so I sed no 2 mo kids tat wudda been selfish 2 ta 1 I hav wich at the time was like 5in1 an me not having. Much to give. Wudda fo sure set me up for epic fail don't give. Yaself wat u can't handle cuz god wuddnt. Do u like tat. So all y'all do wats best 4u peace

  • You're not a parent yet, posted invalid statement of how a small percentage of parents regret kids when truth is its a bigger percentage pfffftttt HAHAHAHA (75%), don't lie to yourself and think the crap these people vent out on here, won't apply to you, and you're on this site. Cold feet already dear?

  • I'm an older parent. 39 years old. I have a 5 year old and an 8 month old. I HATE being a parent. The first child was managable, but now that I've had a second child (who was an accident), it is unbearable. I am miserable, sleep deprived, and have NO time for myself. None. I cry constantly and just hope for death most the time. I feel like ny life is over because I will be almost 60 before they're out of the house. I love them and it's not their fault, but I definitely regret having children. But I made my bed and now I have to lay in this h*** I've created.

  • Proud you owned up to your misfortunes and took accountability.

  • Thats another wishing for death! Dont pull that martyr bs!

  • P*** off with your idiot studies.

  • Oh only up to 10/100 parents you meet regret having children. That's a huge f****** number buddy.

  • Well some states nearly or more than 70% parents regret having kids...on CF sites. Bahahahaaa😂

  • Haha! Wait till they're teenagers!!!!! 😂

  • No, it gets harder and more encompassing in your life. I think more people talk like it's the best thing in the world because of 2 things; might as well try and enjoy the s*** (the kids aren't going anywhere) and also because of what they think people will think of them if they say other wise. I'm 7 years in and I don't particularly enjoy being a parent, but it's my responsibility so I'll do it.

  • Of course its YOUR responsibility YOU made them! You made your bed therefire you must lie in it. You're stuck/trapped with them eternity! I give you praise for actually parenting rather abandoning your kids but it is YOUR fault and whoever your man is that procreated kids that never asked to be born.

  • I dunno, I'm 5 years in and it's only getting harder.

  • Start whipping

  • Oh man I'm so sorry to hear. You are not alone though. I only have one child and I lover her...but totally agree. Parenting sucks the life out of some people. And I honestly believe that you're not a bad person just because you really don't like being a parent. I wish I could offer more advice but I'm in the same boat and I just hope that you find peace eventually

  • I have a 14 month old. I hate being a parent and I although my wife is a good woman, marriage to me is pointless without kids, so yes I regret getting married also. I never realized how valuable my freedom was. I'm typing this seconds after having to cut a p*** short because my son always finds a way to get out of his area. It is going to take me about 20 minutes to type this because he keeps grabbing for the mouse. I look forward to work because at least at work I have a tiny bit of freedom. I am strongly considering hiding the days I take vacation from work just so my wife doesnt see it as an opportunity to give me s*** to do. Most guys I talk to feel this way or similarly. Its g******* prison. I literally hate leaving work Friday because I know I have to be home for 2 days. Sleeping is a long lost luxury and my friends don't even bother asking me to do stuff anymore because they know I cant. HOW THE F*** IS HAVING KIDS SUCH A POPULAR THING!!! This is h*** on earth for me. A stray bullet to my face would instantly killing me would be a god send....Worst of all I have a sense of honor and conscience. My son did not ask to be here, so I will just continue to be miserable for his benefit, but I am amazed so many people find having kids to be such an integral part of life. Its slowly veering away from that, but you couldn't pay me enough to have a kid in my next life. Hopefully I am smarter in that life than I am in this one. Parenting is 95% bad and about 5% good.

  • You've been fooled and lied too. You have joined the Miserable Parents Club. Population: growing...

  • LOL go to work for 5 days is peaceful for you and an extra 2 days of more work with family is H***. You wish death but it may not ever come until elderly age. You're in H***. Watch the film Hook when Captain Hook tells Peter's daughter that her parents were happy before they had them. Ouch! I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT! ME ME ME ME! NOW NOW NOW NOW! That's kids 101 and their parents--plus the regrets.

  • "Marriage to me is pointless without kids" really? Well least you know it's not true and millions of other CHILDFREE ppl can refute that bullshit. Marriage tends to last longer without children. Tis a shame you realized this too late to alter it. Good insight on yourself though. I give you kudos for that. I guess childfree do correlate with high intelligence.

  • Amen. Lol

  • I think being a parent is soooo frustrating because we have these ideals of how everything should be abd when it doesn't turn out that way, we tend to feel resentment and betrayed by all these bs shows & ads etc on t.v. Parents are constantly judged by everyone about everything and made to feel as though they're not good enough. This makes us more anxious, stressed and depressed and creates an unhealthy family life. I could go on and on. Just do what works for you & make sure your kids know how much you love them.

  • Youre not good enough nor a good parent if you allow your parasites to go willy-nilly in stores and restaurants.


  • Cancer more like

  • LOL sandra hawley has 3 kids and is CLEARLY miserable, she should be on this site...pro natalist cow. Childfree! those sites are so blissful!

  • Kitty 332 and Kim K LOL you KNOW they miserable and lazy

  • Just coming here just for truth, s**** and giggles hehe and assurance. You breeders are so damn gullible to believe children will accompany in your old age, they're NOT worth it. Stop backpedaling, "I love my son/daughter but...I hate my life but..." well, YOU caused it. This bs martyrdom. You made mistakes and now you must suck it up and LIVE with them. There are these wonderful procedure and process called abortion and adoption. But too late for you dumbshits now haha do NOT blame your kids, they did not choose you lousy buffoons nor being born into your crappy lives...sad but oh well.

  • I would read for laughs how disgusting soon-to-be moms brag about their pregnancies and some are TMIs--nasty b****** "pregnancy is a blessing" whatever to convince you from insanity sweetheart. They better enjoy it now until they know what they get themselves into, then I laugh because they're screwed. Some kids grow up to be serial killers and shoot up malls or schools. Enjoy parenting! Kisses!

  • Seriously people ugh I came across this website looking for support from people who love their kids ,but can't afford them and what I find is heartless ,selfish monster's who have gone as far as to write that kids are horrible beings that ruin your life.I am well aware of how crazy my life has been since I had kids ,but to even think or feel so horrible about their existents is awful.My kids are wonderful and they bring out so many positive feeling out of me.Maybe if you liberals tried more to love them for how awesome they are rather then hate them for not letting you have your way in life ,you could actually enjoy a life with them.Their here already why not make the best of it.

  • It's "they're"

  • Oh so YOU'VE felt down in the miserable dumps. Sorry for bursting your bubble but THIS is for unleashing truths and venting or getting things off your chest. Children can behave like unruly monsters. THOSE are the ones I'd love to hit so hard. They cry "you want to get slapped again? Then shut up!!! Mommy's trying to sleep" they're not little angels. Why you think there are stories of parents killing their kids? Some wish to be childFREE or if their kids have mental disabilities, they "can't handle it anymore" and murder him/her by pushing them off the bridge. They're worth it huh? I see and study you paren't and I hardly see you guys smile when YOUR kids are around you in stores and other places where they shouldn't be allowed. You can plaster on a smile but I see the exhaustion and eyes wandering for desperate help and possible regret. If they bug you and being unruly, DO something! Spank or slap! They work! Spare the rod, spoil the brat! "Proverbs 13:24--Whoever spares the rod, hates their child, but the one who LOVES their children is careful to disciplone them." Shame on you fools.

  • You definitely should never have had kids, I feel terrible for you but I'm honestly a little concerned about how well your kids are with a parent like you.

  • As the great Katharine Hepburn quoted, "the first time if a child didnt do what I wanted, id kill him." She quoted more but I love that last sentence. I have a short fuse...I'd hit a kid if he/she is annoying me, being stubborn, hurting my dog/cat, etc. Waking me up...you'll unleash H***. How you like that?

  • You MUST be on Cafemom and why are you on here? Trouble at home with your own lil bastards you're slaving around yet put up an act in public? Tell me something I DON'T know.🙄

  • Sit down darling. You say I should never have kids yet assume I already do. Seems like being a parent correlates being irretrievably stupid. I'm not a parent nor a miserable parent like you on here dude but thank God I'm smart enough to avoid being trapped and regretful haha.

    So what if I did have kids (shudders) and I'll be a terrible parent. There are other people on here on the verge of suicide and yet I somehow caught your attention. Hmmmm Looks like I affected you hahaaaa you DO realize discipline is great to tame a lil kid right? Oh wait. You probably didnt...tsk. But since you're projecting, you really feel sorry for yourself awwwwwwwww hence why you're here :-)

    I should feel sorry for you who feel the need to feel sorry me for choosing a better life and being smart and not breeding. You should be more concerned with yourself and other miserable parents on here venting so much that they can't cry help outside or they'll be titled "unfit" and other judgmental words. Stop being in your feelings and throwing ad hominems. Calm down LOL

    Least I KNOW I'll be a terrible parent rather reading these comments of "I didnt know it'd be this hard!" So thank you! But ew who wants kids? Childfree come on here to snoop, read, laugh and post you idiots b******* LOL looks like our side is winning and is better! Excuse me while I buy tickets to go to Italy AGAIN. Continue feeling sorry for me while I'll be in Manarola enjoying my childfree life with my boo! Smooches!

  • I wanna go!!!!!

  • Wow. A superb read...BURN!!!!!

  • Take an English course you f****** animal!

  • "You liberals" you b****

  • "You liberals" ... really? I'm as dismayed at the tone of this stuff as you are, and I've never voted for a republican in my life and likely never will. None of the miserable stuff posted here (not saying that as a pejorative, these poor f****** are clearly just miserable as f***) sounds in any way politically oriented.

    I'm a dad of three; 7yo, 6yo, 3yo. Oh, and to the first time parents of babies still in diapers - h*** YES things get easier as they get older. Best advice I have for you is 1. hang in there and 2. do NOT get pregnant again until the current youngest is O-U-T of diapers. Having a six and seven year old is not bad; but the three-ish years they were both in diapers at the same time damn near destroyed my marrriage.

  • Jeez just because you're so uneducated you can't express yourself correctly doesn't mean you're only good for breeding. But I guess it's a little late for you.

    Start reading to your kids. It'll be good for them, and great practice for you

  • Maybe you should stop being so judgmental

  • Why do some people immediately place a political label, such as "liberal" on seemingly anyone who they deem as morally inferior to themselves? This discussion has absolutely nothing to do with politics, and you are putting a label on many, many people who you don't know. It doesn't help anything or anyone, and lambasting people for their weaknesses doesn't help, either. You want to help? Offer real, helpful solutions.

  • Ok! Drop those lil s**** off at adoption joint and drive away or abort. Problem solved. Better?

  • YUP.

  • My husband is talking me into having kids and I'm so afraid that I'm on the pill without him knowing. I am currently unemployed and refuse to have a baby now as it will mean that I will never have the possibility to do work in the future (I can make more money than him and refuse to be the stay at home parent).
    One of my cousins decided one day to leave the house after driving the kids to school. She never came back. I dream of doing the same because I know I'll only have them to pass on my genes and hate children.

  • So you wanna end up like one of your cousins? A parent (unworthy title) until death but doesn't have the guts to actually PARENT and abandons their own flesh and blood? 👏 shocker...

  • Conversate!!!! You people cannot be THIS stupid. Tell him you don't want any monsters! For all you know, you'll end up preggo, he'll see you unattractive later on, won't take on fatherly responsibilities as he should since HE wanted the baby, leave you for a woman without kids and possibly fit, cycle begins anew. So WHAT if he leaves you?! For not replicating his DNA?! SELFISH. Thirsty for a man? Think abt the considerations of the possible child that may be unfortunately born into your union. Bad ending there of NO escape. If you have a baby from him, resent the kid, you're a breeder. If not, good for you for sticking up for yourself and being an intellectual. Would you REALLY live a life of constant misery with ppl you'll probably despise or live it in peace? Literally. Your own place, get a dog or whatever, get back in the dating pool, meet someone who does NOT want kids either and respects you...your life. THINK about it dear. Don't be a sheep!

  • "Passing on genes" is a common lie and a false propaganda from pro-Natalist society. The future is getting worse so why put a kid through that? Your genes are nothing special. You won't be rewarded. They're not asked to be born. Many known ppl don't have kids (childfree) and STILL carry on their legacy. Don't have a ball and chain to your ankle...the future is dim for kids born now. They won't amount to anything significant. Get real. Stay sweet

  • Kids of the future, are NOT the future. Less to no jobs. Food shortage. Great job parents. Life takes care of itself. The next Black plague. We're due for one anyway...

  • Don't do it. Biggest mistake u will ever make. Seriously. I'm paying big time. Be free. Be free. I dream of that so bad.

  • Trust your gut!! I wasn't independent woman and got pregnant and gave up everything it is been so terrible please follow your gut if you don't want kids don't have them no matter what

  • Leave (him as well) before it's too late and you'll be in worse s*** and trapped. You're not a baby making machine. Be smart and flee

  • I feel like I could've written this. I only have 1 kid, but I have warn was plugs. He's so whiny ALL THE TIME. I just want to run away. I love him to death and I know its only a phase, but I CAN NOT WAIT until he goes to school!!

  • I'll never understand why people always say they love their son/daughter to death...but then hate being around them and Hate being a parent to them?
    That's just totally contradicting Obviously you DON'T love him/her then do you!!

  • Youre a lousy parent who doesnt deserve to be called a parent. Youll end up a lousy passive friend to your own offspring. You hate your kid if you don't discipline him but he'll end up in prison and you'll only blame yourself you fool

  • *ear plugs

  • Worn.

  • A leather belt. Slap to the face. SCREAM at him!!!!

  • This is my number one concern. I am currently 31 and the only one of my friends with no children. I feel so free and it has allowed me to be a lot more driven and move forward career wise. They seem worn out all the time and not really happy. Having kids is probably already at the bottom of my list and seeing them makes me not want them at all. Their kids are great but after about 12 hours even them playing gets on my nerves. Reading through many of the comments it seems most of the regrets come when having multiple children. If I were to have one it would def be just one.

    I am a faculty member at a college and am surrounded by many colleagues who don't have children and they are able to travel, buy fabulous homes in the city and are great aunts, uncles, god parents etc.

    My current boyfriend has expressed wanting kids but it doesn't seem to be at the top of his list either. I want a fulfilling life and I don't think a kid should and will do that for me.

  • Having kids will hinder you from reaching your dreams and goals. They'll be your obstacles. They'll keep you from the things you're actually missing out on. I've met so many dumb young mom's (who look OLDER than me) only way of achieving happiness is by drinking too much and partying hard. That crap gets old and tiresome... they're not worth anything.

  • I hate to adimt u are so rite I feel like crying but I have nomo tears I wish I wudda know what I wanted wen I was younger focused on my goals instead of getting d*** by even worse dude wud f me up something bad I was just about to get out wen pop I got popped I did manage to get out tho cuz prik hate kid i was carryin. just. Wanted to fuc kinda thang an I jut cudnt abort .life gos on time has past put kid 1st cuz luv tat lil m*** have had good enjoyable vacays wit kid but now after some time kid is big. No need me. Much I can do my job hope not late it never late better late then never type of mental I hav I find myself getting drunken happy ish getting old wats left tho I say. Good Energy years I gave to my 1 kid took a lot ahhhh keep goin keep my head up 4better days cuz my gangsta far from over peace

  • All I can say is trust your gut seriously you're not missing out on anything just because you don't have kids. If there's any doubt that you want a child.. Please don't have one I'm telling you it can be a never-ending nightmare. I know this may sound blunt but it's from a place of love as somebody who has learned the hard way kids are not for everyone it's okay

  • My friends without kids love fabulous lives, and my one friend with a kid lives in her parent's guest house, shes broke. I have 1 child and we're broke. Sometimes I wonder WTH Iwas thinking.

  • Majority is true. Including myself. I get mani-pedis every 3 weeks, depending how good it looks, get my dog groomed every 2 weeks, run a mile, do a Sparta challenge, hang out with my friends, who don't want kids neither, one is truly repugnant about kids and babies btw and we travel, mainly San Francisco or Emeryville, San Diego, Monterey, we plan, rent a car and save $$$, like there's so much to do. Next is Vegas. Better than living a life of a parent, stuck with kids 24/7/365. Boooooorrrriiinnngggggg

  • You weren't 😂

  • Dual income NO kids. D****

  • D****

  • I don't have too many financial concerns and being a parent is still s**t af. I got pregnant by accident with twins (It happens more often when you're almost 40 and of course I was the one). I work all the time as there's always extra hours in my specialty and it pays well so I say I'm doing it for their college funds. It's even worse in the eyes of society since I'm the mother not the father.

  • I have a Autistic non verbal 4 year old, I don't work in the town I live in so I can have a better job so we can afford the best care for her, the private autism care she attend cost $25k per year, add in all the other care bills, & we are way over $100k, that's a second hand Lamborghini

    I had 4 motorcycles, classic car, large house with pool & largest home gym, yearly international holidays before she was born, now life is f*****, I would change it all as I was way happier person before this money, time, energy black hole came along.....

  • Thanks for being a stand-up guy. I'm sorry to hear your baby has special needs. I know it's a lot of money, but it's just stuff. If being childfree and having money was so great, why the f*** are all the rich childfree people miserable? Most people overestimate how great their former lives were anyway. Hang in there.

  • Selfish breeder alert! LOL

  • Looks like you miserable parents have to SACRIFICE almost 90 to 99%% of the things you love more than the individuals who didn't ask to be born and stuck with you haha. $$$$$ and freedom down the drain is REAL

  • Surrender her to the state if nothing else. you shouldnt force this debt generator upon yourself, and even though she sucks the life out of you, she deserves to be somewhere she can be really cared for and helped (not that being in the care of the state or government is 100% perfect, but still.) save yourself the heartache of trying to cling to the life youve got now.

  • Wow you're selfish for putting a kid that didn't ask to be born into YOUR life through the system. Good luck with that conscious. It's better to abort than put a kid through adoption process.

  • I totally get it. It's so hard and feels less rewarding than I thought it would be. Some moments are definitely better than others. I definitely go the "what could have been"'s. Not fun. I gotta work on acceptance and taking care of my thoughts better or I'll never be happy!

  • *Sniff Sniff* I smell salty liberal tears in the comment section...

  • Aren't liberals racist inbreds? Trump lovers?

  • And I smell s*** in here. Someone flew in like a pigeon, crapped on the comment section and flew away, thinking they contributed anything at all.

  • I love my kids because they came out of my body and are a part of me. I love them because I'm supposed to love them. I hate them for every other reason.

    I wish we never had kids. I let my husband talk me into having the first child and it wasn't horrible, but wasn't great. Then he talked me into having a second child and that was the worst mistake ever! The two kids by themselves aren't horrendous, but once they are in the same vicinity as each other, they are your worst nightmare...hurting each other or screaming or crying or destroying something.

    I have cut s** out of our lives as the thought disgusts me. The thought that s** created these two monsters just completely ruins any thought of enjoyment.

    If I knew 10 years ago what I know now, I would have never had kids. I don't understand why anyone would want to have kids. They are horrible beings that ruin your life and turn you into a slave to their wants and needs. It amazes me how the friends I have who never had kids still look so young and vibrant and the rest of us that had kids look so old, beaten, and decrepit.

  • Boogers come out of your nose, do you feel a connection to them?

  • You love them due to the lingering oxytocin that's in your body. Every mammal has that. It's not a coerced feeling. Looks like the phrase "You don't know what love is until you have a child" is refuted. Least the childfree KNOW way beforehand what makes them happy and what wouldn't.

  • P*** comes out of your body do love every third that passes through your sphincter? Not trying to be mean, sorry you're miserable. I wish more parents would be honest and openly discuss how horrible it truly is.

  • I do love my son, but I do have days where I wonder what the f*** I did to my life. I use to dream about having the perfect girlfriend when I was in my early 20's, now all I dream about is going back to my old life of peace, serenity and dare I say it... Selfishness.

    I often dread coming home after work because I know exactly how I'll feel, indifference and annoyance at the crying and guilt because my girlfriend has been home with him all day and is more drained than me, and all of this only intensifies my daydream of being alone again.

    Call me a lesser human, call me selfish, but anytime anyone even jokes about us having another child, I literally feel an intense sense of fear and anger at the possibility that this is "expected" of us. If I had of known i'd ever feel this way i'd of had a vasectomy a very long time ago.

  • Get a vasectomy now as insurance!

  • Oh boy, I had a child when I was much younger with a woman who was not right for me at all. As a matter of fact, I did not want him growing up in an angry, yelling, and hateful environment so we split up. That relationship stayed horrible until very recently, but the little man only had to deal with it when I picked him up or dropped him off. I never said a bad thing about her to him, she eventually stopped bad mouthing me. He is a stable adult and I am thankful for my decision on that situation.

    Fast forward 14 years and I met my now wife. She decided we were having a child only 6 months into the marriage, which was only a year after we met. She has the capability to make more money than me so I stayed home, we can only just now afford daycare so I have been home with him for nearly 3 years. It sucks bad, if I was thrown back in time there is no way I would do any of it. I would never have children and I would love having money, time, and sanity. I'm not certain that if I was given the opportunity to go back I would. I love my children dearly, especially the oldest one. But I would seriously have to think about it, seriously. You're not the only one, and I had to write this with him screaming in the background because I'm not paying attention to him. He really is very good though, if he was not I would have to leave the situation again. I don't pretend though, I tell everyone how hard it is, and that they should absolutely think twice about having children.

  • I'm on the verge of tears, because my son has been whining all day, throwing little tantrums, asking 5000 questions, and I swear sometimes I wish I was deaf. I stay home with him, too. I miss freedom and sanity. I love him to death. I would proudly, and instantly die for him, but GIVE ME A BREAK!! These tantrums are getting old and sometimes when I can hearone starting I just think to myself "Oh God, here we go again. Never again (another baby)."

  • Patience younger grasshopper. You must have patience.

  • You don't own a leather belt do you? Do you make a deal with your son so he'll behave while other people are glaring at you annoyed? DON'T become and STOP being his f****** friend! Why would you let him stress you out?! Tame that ass! This is inane!

  • Stupid, SLAP him or pop him on the ass! It's therapeutic. Don't waste your excuses. Seriously?!

  • Perhaps narcissists aren't meant to have children

  • You're so right, I love myself too much to share my life with a kid; NOT worth it. I love my selfishness (or is it?). Everything for ME! Earth doesn't deserve my kids.

  • Perhaps you should shove your idiot opinion up your ass.

  • But smug wankers are?

  • Perhaps people with low intellect and no lives are the ones meant to have and enjoy children.

  • Bahahaha

  • Either you don't have children or you are so dependent on making others happy that you don't ever think about yourself. Either way, you don't have room to judge.

  • I love my kid to the moon and back but there is no way in h*** I would wver do this again for another. Blows my mind why anyone has more than one.

  • You sound JUST like me! I have said that countless times.

  • I was afraid of being lonely so I decided to stay with someone I did not love. We both stayed together out of fear of having to date again. She wanted kids and I never really liked the idea of having children. I had to break it off. I don't know how I got the courage as I hate being alone. I was ready to have kids so she would stay with me. We fought over almost everything. These posts help me see what could have been my future. Thanks for sharing

  • Majority in reality will state otherwise like its all rainbows and unicorns so we can join in their misery. Only a few with b**** will tell and advise you not to have kids and how much they wish to be in my shoes and say how lucky I am.

  • Yeah, you could've been traveling to Italy by now, visiting Disneyland with a girlfriend, go on peaceful adult dates, movies every Friday night or movie night at your place or hers, shop around, walking your dog on your days off, taking her to Santa Cruz and flaunt her around, exercise, go on a Cruise ship (just the two of you), scuba diving in the Bahamas, discover new hobbies and friends, and most of all, have undisturbed and deep slumber in Slumberland on Saturdays, its limitless really. Now THAT'S worth it. But that's me.

  • That's a good life of luxury. Oh wait. No kids. HAHAHAHA you p***** them off! OMG this is hilarious! Everything you listed they probably could NEVER achieve of doing. They're just upset cuz they have rug-apes at home to "care" for and regret their irreversible yet dumb decision to breed BAHAHAHAHAAAAA I bet the "undisturbed and deep slumber" comment got to them. Lack of sleep DOES cause one to become irate and surly. They had no idea of the what ifs and settled for less and p***** because they're not smart like us and thought beforehand. Of course they'd be mad, but sucks for and to be them. Probably fat slobs babysitting with chains on their ankles. There are adult only restaurants and cinemas... I'd be p***** at MYSELF too if I was them, since I wouldn't be able to do ANYTHING with kids around. They're trying to play the martyr bs. As usual!!!! Your bragging was awesome and they exposed themselves! Dumbass(es)!!!!

  • They're just upset due to the fact that they know their kids won't amount to anything of significance. They live through their kids. So they have no lives whatsoever, hence why they're defensive. Truth hurts. Things are getting worse in the future.

  • It must be u cuz stiff coklards don't do stuff other than try to stuff

  • Is this the BEST comment you have? If it is, then you KNOW you don't have crap to say. "Don't do stuff than try to stuff"?!?!?? Seems like an illiterate teen trying to sound sagacious with a reading grade level of 1 but decided to p*** out a little a****** of its own. I can see why you're on here. That person got to you really bad.

  • "Coklard"? wow haha I'm not surprised if YOU have kids. You have nothing going for yourself. I guess what was commented was true "childfree does correlates to intelligence" please use less exaggeration and English.

  • Awwww I'd affected you 😏.You mean try to have kids like you? Ew. No thx. What we do IS doing stuff. You wouldnt be able to do ANY of the things I've listed. Sad you don't know the difference of that rather changing diapers, feigning a smile and looking like a hot filthy mess that's unrewarded. That's not doing anything at all. LOL ouch. You mad?

  • Disney Land is mostly for kids u dope so if u don't like kids there will b plenty of them there

  • Hey now, don't call yourself a dope. I know you were shortsighted of your dumb decisions by mistakenly procreating a child. Funny I see many adults and teens at Disneyland. Enjoy Chuck E Cheese though.

  • Angry are we?😌 we go to Disneyland once a month. Neh!😋

  • It's for adults as well duh. But I'd be upset too if I was in your shoes who can't escape. Thank God I'm not! Kids are their parents/breeders problems there. Not mine! Hahaaaa

  • Hehe my comments struck a nerve in you poor unfortunate souls 😂😂 love it! Be patient. There's more! Focus on your crotchfruits. Enjoy.

  • You're projecting YOUR hatred of kids upon me. Typical. I just don't have nothing to do with them. Big difference. I can tolerate well-mannered kids, just not s***** breeders who can't parent with lil unruly brats. I think someone like you. Seems as if you've never been to Disneyland to know it's not just for kids. Sad. Oh well. Only ppl stopping you are your stupid genes brought to life unfortunately. We should go again this month!

  • Their s** drive is nonexistent (hope that o***** was worth it--bye uninterrupted lovemaking!!!), they haven't showered, they haven't slept, they negotiate with their brats, they hate their spouse or significant person they made a brat with, they were somehow tricked and now stuck, they regret their decision but can't cry for help, I'd be mad too if I can't do all those fun things due to kids. Envy. Go figure. Waaahhhhhh😫😩 I'm gonna tell my boyfriend we must go to Disney world. Just the 2 of us!

  • You hear that? Silence. Truth does hurt and shuts a fool up.

  • What is with ppl lacking communication and sharing interests? TALK. You sealed your fate eternally. Alone can be a blissful thing...something wrong with you. Need Jesus

  • Omg you made the right choice. !!! Heck yes

  • Not worth it.

  • You're so right. I rather go to Tahiti with my wife than babysit or be a parent, scratch that, a slave. So much fun things to do and nothing to regret.

  • It is crying, it is feeding, it is clothing, it is cleaning, it is pain, it is torture, it is depression and it is forever.
    It has felt good to let this out. I wish someone would have told me all of these things before I had children. I heard that it was rewarding and hard and that it was worth it and that motherhood was the greatest job a woman could ever have.
    There are many things I would do differently if I could go back. My greatest hope is that when my children get older, they will look back and have more good memories than bad ones. And I know that it will ONLY be when they are adults with brats of their own, that they will realize how much i sacrificed for them and how hard I truly worked to ensure they had everything they wanted and needed and how Momma done without everything so that they could have.

  • Oh boy...the same lie that's hitting gullible fools like you and turned you into a martyr. Whomever told you that having kids is a woman's greatest job, was a chauvinistic idiot that's going through their own H*** raising their own demons and wearing a mask to hide their inner, true, miserable self. Why would you wish that on your own kids? You're something else alright. It's like wishing a childfree person/couple to have kids but you know they'll get rid of it before their lives become like yours...that's ridiculously psychotic. YOU...a mom?

  • If you love them tell them what a thankless soul sucking job being a parent is. Why would you wish this on them?

  • Unwanted advice. This is on the top 5 of my list. You will have anybody and everybody giving you advice about how you should and should not raise your child.

    Envy. There is always that one mother or father who seems to freaking be doing so much better than you at parenthood. They have the nice house with the spotless lawn and the bright blue mailbox with a fancy Holiday bow tied around the clean sparkling pole, the nice cars, the ironed clothes. They post status updates with the countdown to their beach vacation and you prepare yourself for their 50 picture posts a day. You look at them and then you look at your family and all you can do is shake your god damned head in amazement wondering why you couldn't do that, wishing you could be more like that. It's not happening though, ever. Those people may even be the reason you wanted a family to start with. It looks great! It sounds fun! It is not.

  • Just because THEY'RE lives SEEMS like Heaven, doesn't mean yours will...false facade. I've heard such awful stories. Some grown kids complaining how selfish their parents are...hmmm. Reddit! 19 kids and counting...now THAT'S H***. The mother is a moo. A CF term

  • From my experience those people actually have the most f***** up families. Behind the perfect facade it's pretty much h*** for each one of them in one way or another.

  • Yeah look at 19 kids and counting. They have no lives... they're not happy. Just plastered smiles. Oh well. Disgusting

  • Then it starts school and demands even more money. It tells anyone who will listen all of your business.

    "Momma sleeps with no clothes on." ONE freaking time I sleep without clothes since the little heifer was bored and she tells everyone she meets. You have no personal life whatsoever anymore.
    "My Momma said she doesn't like you."
    "My Momma has hair on her v*****."
    "My Momma says she doesn't want to be here and she hates you."
    "My Momma sweeps everything up under the stove."
    "My Momma doesn't clip her toenails, she gets them off with her fingers."

    You lose your body. You lose your money, You lose your home. You lose your freedom. You lose your car. You lose your parents and family because now it's all about the freaking baby. Nobody calls to see how you are anymore, they call to see how the freaking baby is.

  • That's one of the reasons why us childfree don't want that. Moochers. Kids will leech until youre in your deathbed (The Will). YOU brought them to this world. So do your job with a fake smile on your face. But we ALREADY see and know of the Bullshit that goes with having kids. It's not worth it at all. We aren't missing nothing!

    You just can't hold water around your nosey kid. I remember back in the day when parents parent very well, including disciplining and when there are other adults around conversing, and kids are present, my mom would tell me "adults are talking" and that'd be our cue to leave and play elsewhere. I can't stand nosey kids. They're too vacuous to know adult conversations so what's their purpose to be around and listen. Send it outside to exercise and play. Problem solved. Speak softly if you can. Idk how you're making it so difficult for yourself. Just utter negligence.

    You don't have to be a parent to know how to raise kids. Foolish

  • Some of us don't really care for the baby. We miss our traitorous friend who decided to become a slave. It's just obligated to ask how the baby is and then they start ranting and venting and bawling how they miss their old lives. Oh well. I can't help. You sealed your ccrappy fate. Why give up a fun of limitless choices and festive life for a boring kid? Soon I forget abt that friend and find more and better ones.

  • My friend literally texted me to see how I'm doing and it's been YEARS. She has 2 kids, a philandering husband and oblivious of why her life is in turmoil. I texted her those many years ago, but no reply, hmmmm. So I ignored her, seems like she wants something off her chest and complain. I moved on, and I'm no therapist. I refuse to babysit. Can't believe I was friends with an immature, selfish putz.

  • Wow. You actually referred your own flesh and blood as "it" haha amazing...you deserve to be on here. Thanks for the heads up I already know! Your social life must be dead if you're telling your "little heifer" that.

  • Why do you say that type of stuff around her???? I can agree with everyone else's plight but honestly all of your issues are your own fault. Stope saying you "don't like" certain people while she's around...it's not that hard.

  • The little brats elbows and fingers. They will hit you, head but you, bite you, kick the crap out if you, pinch you, pull your hair and cause you great physical pain. You will spend the first few months loving your newborn baby. Their sweet little coo's and tiny cry is warm biscuits and God damned gravy until you realize that it's getting louder and louder and it's happening more and more often and the little f***** starts doing it all throughout the night every single f****** night. Then, it starts f****** crawling and crying at the same time. It starts crawling to you and crying and making it loud and clear that it is now becoming even more demanding. A year later, you've changed 15 thousand s*** filled diapers and you decide that either the little b****** will start crapping in the toilet, or whatever, just that you're not wasting another freaking dime on a 30 dollar box if diapers that it's starting to fill up with bigger dumps that are now leaking out the sides of the diapers, running down its legs and onto the carpet and you spend hours on your knees cleaning up s*** and p*** stains out of the carpet. There's a bottle that's been left out and stuck between the couch cushions with clabbered milk in it for weeks now and you wonder what that foul smell is that's been lingering all this time. You can't decide if it's the babies s***** diaper, the s*** stains, or if it's your own bodily fluids from where you haven't been allowed to shower for days on end because Junior won't stop crawling and crying and demanding your undivided constant attention.

  • You allowed that to happen. Continue being a slave. You have unruly bastards. YOU need to fix it. Take responsibility for once. I'm not surprised parents like you reek. Baths don't hurt btw. Or give him up and live the life you wished it would be...but you'd be deemed as a lousy, deadbeat, selfish mom. You'll still be a mom. Just spitallin the obvious and stuff.

  • If you are even a little bit broke, don't have kids. They constantly need new crap that you will also eventually need to buy for yourself, but you will not be able to. You'll wear shoes with holes in the soles and you'll do without so that the kid can have. Sleep will never be the same. Your s** life will be over. You not only will give up your body for 9 months, but you'll share your body with an unintelligent shameless tiny human who is incapable of knowing any boundaries. You will have never ending bruises forming on your flesh in places you should never get them from

  • Fools won't listen. They'll keep reproducing like rabbits. But broke rabbits that should get licensed to breed. Haha stupids!

  • I refuse to share my body with an annoyingly, bothersome, probably ungrateful lil parasite that'll develop some random problem that I'll probably hate, order me around, determine when I sleep and for how long, give up s**, give up freedom, and anything I enjoy/cherish/love, for a kid. It's just not worth it and I'm only 25. Puppies are far better, c'mon, they STAY adorable and they're easier and cleaner.

  • Well you repugnantly had s** DURING pregnancy. So karma, no sympathy here, they are not miracles, its just like defecating. Pregnant women gross me out. It's a phobia. Get over it. Doctors should sterilize broke idiots who "want a baby" before there's another Octomom accident rather telling them to wait at a certain age or marital status, suggesting or declining an intellectual who chose not to have kids and refuse to sterilize them. Messed up society. Ew. High population=another plague=high mortality rates.

  • Government, well US govt is trying to kill us anyway. NWO planning things...

  • Kids are just walking diseases, so I won't be surprised if parents go. I don't want none of that crap in my nice clean home.

  • Im a mom of 2 and feel the same way. Dont feel bad.

  • More like dont feel bad 'coz you can't go back!

  • I love your comment. I wish i can give you so many likes. Hilarious! Hahahahaha

  • Dude. Thank you for putting into word what i cant.

  • I love my children. I have 2 children of my own, 1 foster, and 1 I have raised since he was 2.

    I hate being a parent. Maybe if it was just 2 of my own I would feel differently about the way things have gone. That just isnt reality.

    I met my wife about 2 years after going through potential suitors. Yes, men can be picky just like women. I had alot going for me back in the late 90's. Ambition, direction, and the ability to overcome obstacles due to financial responsibility.

    I had gone through women due to personality incompatibility. Whether it being wants, religion, or even chemistry with one another. It wasnt much for me to date 1 week and just totally cut the relationship off after a couple of dates.

    Why waste your time?

    Well, this one, we had great chemistry and it just seemed she needed a little support to become successful. It came out later, about 2 weeks, that she indeed had a child. Less than 2 years old I gave it a chance. In fact, I was a stepchild and maybe this could right some of the wrongs, I felt happened to me growing up.

    I had a terrible stepfather who, honestly, hated my exsistence. Literally. i even broke it off, with my future wife, but found her on the doorstep with this beautiful boy the next morning. She apologized sincerely. I just could not let my gut tell me NO!!!

    I worked 2 jobs for 4 years supporting us as a family, helping put her through school and living in a elite school district for her child. She then worked part time as a bartender and finished up her Masters degree in Psychology.

  • The 2 youngest are absolutely fine with me. Never have problems with them listening or lacking in direction when I'm around. Totally different when she is home and she cants stand 2 hours of it before "bailing".

    Hey, I want my "me" time too.

    I would not change the timeline, due to my 2 boys now. Lord in Heaven, I wish it just never would have happened this way. Why could I not just fuggin said, "Too bad", the morning when she came back on my doorstep.

    Thank you for this ability to vent.

    I dread 15 more years from now, when we divorce, and I lost 30 years I could have had children with and could have been happy at the same time.

  • So, being in her field and having this huge bleeding heart, she brought home a child in his teenage years that is an outstanding kid, but was in a bad home. Initially, it was temporary, 2 weeks at most. He has now been with us 3 years.

    2 years ago we had an "oopsie" which is odd. She wanted a girl, and I was considering having 1 more but not quite ready.I had sperm issues and it took 2 years to have my own "first" child. The last? Well h***, pregnant after the first week she apparently traded 1 birth control to another.

    So now, I work shift work in which I am able to knock out 50 hours a week, in 2 days. I have had the youngest since birth till he was 1 year and 2 months old on my off days. Pretty much all the time. While working 50 hours a week, I became Daddy Daycare.

    So now I have 4 children, 2 of whom, are not my seed. The child I fell in love with totally disrespects me because "Mother" gives him a different answer to a "want" when I feel he does not deserve. I work 50 hours a week, while making less than my wife by double, who works almost 40 hours a week. I have the kids on my off days, from noon till 7pm and she complains she needs help. Its absolutely terrible. I feel she "drops and runs" with the, now 2 year old, every moment she gets. If he whines any bit, she simply cannot handle it. She will find shopping to do on a moments notice if the youngest naps.

  • Leave. Save your sanity.

  • As she worked towards owning her own business, we decided to have another child. During this period, the EX came back into the life of her first son. Total and unfortunate fore sight on my part. That has been the degredation of this relationship ever since.

    Regardless, we had another child and there is no way I'm having him grow up, like I did as a child. Things got worse as the first child grew older. He learned through his father, I have no right to raise him or punish him. In mom's eyes, that is her first born. In an argument, I would be fighting 2 people, not 2 supporting parents disciplining 1 child.

    We never saw eye to eye on discipline. Me being raised military, and she being raised in poverty where simple things like "boyfriends not sleeping over" was not frowned upon in her household. The 2 differences in growing up, do not see eye to eye. I did not realize this until it was 10 years into the relationship and now she has her own financial stability, making decisions off of her liberal schooling.

  • I HATE KIDS!! I absolutely hate the little self centered selfish brats! WANT WANT WANT ....me me me is all they ever say! Destroy your car, house, sometimes clothes and turn you old real quick...they suck out your life force!! Leave you miserable, tired and A LOT closer to death!! I love my boyfriend but just him...but I f****** hate his kids! I wish they a lot with his ex their mom would fall off a cliff!! I pray for a freak accident everyday!! I would cry my fake cry like I was sad when inside I would be dancing for joy and the happiest I have been in a year!! I mean i have him convinced I actually like them and want them around, so a fake cry would be easy! Now I would never risk jail time but please I pray for a hail storm or freak lighting or the car stalling on the train tracks SOMETHING freak accident to happen!! Their mom is a druggy who pops pills I mean maybe a car wreck because she popped to may pills...please god help me out here!! I pray everyday for this...or for their mom to move to another state or even country and take them!! I will pay the child support just to have them out of the picture! His youngest annoys the p*** out of me...he never stops talking and he is adhd or something because he never sits the f*** down either. I do love their father but not enough to put up with them! I am financially stuck or I would have moved already! I did not sign up for the kids nor do I want them! The boy friend is now talking he wants them full time...OH F****** H*** NO!! That is going to be a deal breaker and we will be finished and over if that happens!! I cannot find anyone in my age group that has grown kids or no kids! THEY ALL HAVE young kids!! WTF!! Keep your d**** in your pants and use condoms men!! Some women do not to deal with kids.

  • Why date a man WITH kids?! Thats settling for less or being desperate. Idk God's plans but ugh you could probably do a lot better. They're just in the way. Damage goods! Claim "I never loved her..." my friend's coworker, who dated a man with an autistic kid said she would purposely ask and bug her dad for her needs that she's capable of doing on her own. She swears never again. The kid got in between their intimate moments. That'd drive me away too.

    Single parents can be deal breakers. Unless their ex is dead, maybe...but I'm too better for that HAM and baby mama drama. The stories!!!! Ew. I see it as, he'll want another kid from you, a kid you don't want, end up autistic as well, therefore I see it as a genetic defect. Me no like. I'm like a lion. Look what a coalition of lions or a lone lion will do, when their targeted pride ALREADY has cubs...I won't kill but the concept makes sense unfortunately. Kids are in the way. Why bother???!

  • Single parents with kids are excess baggage.

  • Real women who knew they didn't want nor like children would be smart enough to abort or be on the pill rather being stuck like in your unfortunate situation and men would be smart enough to wrap it up. No wonder God feels sorry for parents these days...myself and others see why

  • Looks like that kid needs a good ass whipping. Problem solve for adhd brats or monsters. I love seeing good parents PARENT and discipline their offspring. Ahhhhh you don't have to be a parent or a genius to know how to "raise" a kid. Brat makes a scene in public and embarrasses you, put it back in its place quick. It's NOT abuse. The govt can't over jurisdicted your parenting. Wake up.

  • Leave him!!!

  • I'm not going to judge you. You can not live your life being this unhappy. They're not you'rs, you have no responsibility to them. RUN while you can!!

  • Thank you to everyone who posted on here. I read each and every single comment.

    I find myself on here because I just ended a 2 year relationship because she wants kids. We are both 33. I went from
    "maybe, but probably not" to "ok I will have kids if that makes you happy." I find myself wondering if that was the right decision. I had convinced myself I could still pursue my two careers. One during the day and one at night. I have a regular corporate job and a gig as a musician that has started to finally make me some money. I told myself I could record my music at home while the kids played around me... I am guessing that was not realistic from the stories I am reading here.

    What a lot of parents here don't see is a life of not wanting kids can be lonely. I still think the dating pool that does not want kids isn't as big.

    I guess I am still confused. What I do know is I have never really been around kids. My dad, boss, friends, coworkers all ask when will I have my baby. I know at least one friend has been pressuring me because he feels that he went into this alone. I always felt he wants me to go through this too so I can join his club of suffering.

    I think I'll be okay. I've always loathed being alone but I realize that holding on to someone and having kids just not to be alone would cause more issues. I may need some help with feelings of loneliness, anxiety and depression because I have been on a thin line between settling down with someone and having a family to avoid loneliness, and between being true to myself and sticking to not wanting to have kids.

    Any suggestions or advice from those of you who are more experienced is greatly appreciated.

  • Well idk if you Read my other comments on here but I only had an still have 1kid I am a singer an now a DJ wen my kid was 4, 5 I would sing do demos all the time in the same recording studio an except 4 2times kid played wit toys quitely but again I only hav1kid so no biggie 4me now kid is a teen annoyed with my DJ equipment an just leave the recording studio 4another room so I guess hav1kid if u have other rooms or don't have any I don't recommend having mo then 1 tho especially if you do music

  • Oh no dear God no you made the right choice. I am 30 and got pregnant with someone I was dating for 2 years and now I'm single parent thankfully the father takes her to but seriously it is the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life. I was so used to being free and independent and never wanted a child and I thought to that it wouldn't be quite this bad or that I would still be able to do this hobby or that with the child around but that's f****** impossible for like the first eight years at least

  • No - staying w someone to keep from being lonely is bad enough (that's what I did) but once we had a kid (15months old) it drained our souls and hearts and because we stayed together out of fear of being alone, we can't parent together on the same wave length because we're not the right ppl for one another. Having a kid killed any bright aspect of our relationship that was left and I can't stand being a parent. My soul is sucked dry I'm constantly sick from being run down from no sleep working full time and taking care of everything while listening to a baby whine and throw tantrums - I whisper to myself at least once a day "God I wish I didn't have a kid" - have a kid if u meet ur soul mate and both agree on parenting style - also don't have a kid if ur not doing good financially -

  • If you feel you dont want kids, you made the right choice. My man and i had tge most passionate, fun relationship. Now after an oops resulting in a son, we fight all the time, are both very exhausted and havent had s** in months. I hate my life now. He hates his life now, and neither of us are the partner we want to be. I refuse to ever have another child. Its good you recognized your wishes before getting stuck.

  • The oops would've been taken care of before an innocent life was brought into existence unfortunately...you caused it after all.

  • Gosh it feels so good having uninterrupted lovemaking, spending time together, playing and flirting still, and already knowing our lives are perfect and complete without kids to ruin all of it.

  • Make sure you dont have another. Get him to get a vasectomy, and count down to Kindergarten. That's what I do!

  • It's a confusing situation. I'm not a father and I often have feelings that I would like children and then at other times I'm ok with the fact that I don't. My wife and I have both been on the fence over the issue but when EVERYONE around you has them and when you see parents playing with their children in the park it's easy to feel that you are missing out on something. I often think about my life choices when I'm working on my laptop in a cafe and the families come in (admittedly the parents always look harassed) and they are there with their children. However difficult it may/may not be being a parent being on the other side of the fence is also difficult. I watch them knowing that I may never have what is that I "imagine" they have with their children. I just wish we could live twice.

    What you need to remember is when you go around on forums you will always find what you are looking for. If you want to find negative posts on parenting then you can find them and if you want to find positive posts you can find them also and it's easy to tune in to whatever channel supports how you feel at that moment in time. That's why the internet isn't really making people smarter or more knowledgable just more confused and introspective. But forums can't help you make decisions, they can be a good diversion, but I think the more you read the greater the confusion. At least that's the way it is for me.

    I think whichever route you take you will get the good and bad and it's human nature to think about what the other option might have been like and to colour it as being better than your current reality. Man, I do that all the time with this issue. When it looked like my wife might have been pregnant I freaked out and all I saw were the negative comments on forums. When it turned out she wasn't pregnant all of a sudden I was a little sad and then I only saw the good and positive parent comments on forums.

  • I hate being a parent so much. We never wanted children but are in our late 30s and had a vague notion we might regret not having them later. So we tried and it happened straight away. We've gone from going out all the time doing cool things, spontaneous trips and relaxing holidays, lie-ins, chilling out at weekends to being a slave to a toddler and up to neck in household chores, responsibility, exhausted and no social life at all. Would do anything to have my old life back, we have both had breakdowns and been prescribed anti-depressants and I miss our old life and relationship as it was so much.

  • Uh, you can still have a social life, still go on holidays etc. Just learn to manage your time. Quit f****** complaining and playing the victim. You have one kid to look after. BOO HOO

  • Those struggles are real LOL

  • I honestly can't fathom how you people cannot see this coming. Childfree KNOW. We know about anti-depressants that are used to cope with your mistakes/dead ends.

  • Regret having them or regret NOT having them?

  • I was there. Luckily they get older fast and u get your life back. Mine is 14 now and i can date again.

  • Your dating life will be ruined by your own kid...

  • Explain why an how

  • Please explain

  • How so

  • Why so curious? Just so you can try to avoid those issues? I'd say to the ppl dating single parents, RUUUUUNNNNNNN!!!!!!!

  • Really? That oblivious huh? C*** or t*** blocker. Hogging you. Some women or men, idk what your gender is, I've heard countless stories, some work out, majority doesn't. Some ppl don't like the person they like with kids, less attention on them, unless they have patience or a child themselves. Hopefully your kid is willing to share you and encourages you to date again and not be in his/her feelings. Many of the ppl I met and still have friendships with refuse to date ppl with kids. They're in the way. But it depends. Good luck.

  • We we were on the fence too and in our late thirties now. Some days I find myself wondering what the h*** I've done. It's awful bc he really is a great kid. I just find parenting so boring!! We are definitely only having one! And then I feel bad that I brought him into this world and I'm not willing to bring another one in so he can have a sibling because I can't stand parenting! Ugg!

  • I get it. I wish I were not a parent as well. Gad my daughter @ 41 because I thought 1) my husband will hate me if we dont have a family 2) I may regret it later and especially when I am old....how's that for selfish?

    I find myself making excuses of why mommy can't play. Sometimes her voice sends me into irritability. She does not understand and will tell me "Mommy you never play with me and it makes me sad."

    So freakishly what I have found out is when I make sure I do the things I love, music, I am a singer and will be putting together my 1st band @ 48! I do my kundalini yoga and work a job that I love (self employed ) and keep in touch with a few select friends I am happier and don't feel trapped by my kid.

    I can't be gone all the time but I make sure I do something I love 3 times a week even if it is only 30mins and EVERYONE KNOWS if mommy is focused on music or in a lesson or working from home you don't dusturb her and sometimes you can't come into the same room. However, I will make it a point to let my spouse and my daughter know when I need this alone time. And let my daughter know I am not mad at her.

    I will watch my daughter when my husband needs the same thing and will often tell him to go. And my husband and I are going to a mediator to structure a divorce and are butt ass broke.

    If you let a kid run your entire life of course you will resent it. Think about somethings you want in the future start doing it and get excited about that. Ultimately it is your life and you do not have to sacrafice everything. If you resent your kid they will know it and kids dont believe about themselves what is true, they believe what you believe about them.

    Plus you, h*** me as well am s******* myself for what kind of teen I will have created. The real truth is my daughter got here because of my f***** up fears I mentioned in the 1st paragraph. That some how in my great pre parent wisdom I decided the yet to be born was capable of taking care of me.

  • L admire your approach to parenting
    l need to do this

  • I feel u. If i could turn back time...i will not have kids or even get married

  • Blahblahblah blahblahblah etc

  • I'm not a father yet but I always hear about the wonderful ways it changes your life. I have the following questions for any parents who are 30 or older with children above the age of six.

    1. Do children bring meaning to your life? Has it made everything "make sense". Does it make an unfulfilling career suddenly feel like it has a point?

    2. Is playing with your children a joy and so much more pleasurable that playing with other children or not really much different?

    3. If parenting genuinely isn't awesome then why is it that parents go on to have even more children? Surely, if it was so bad everyone would stop at one!

    4. Why do parents say it is so awesome and fabulous if it is not? I can't believe it's because they want non-parents to fall into some trap. Surely, it's only a tiny percentage of parents who wish they'd never become parents. Like 2%?

    5. Isn't it fantastic to take your kids on outdoor adventures or to immerse your self in their excitement for Christmas etc?

    6. Do the moments of sheer joy outweighs the challenges? Everything in life has joys and difficulties surely this is no different?

    7. Does having children give you more confidence in other things? Have you grown as person?

    8. Does having children the away your own fear of death and of the future? I know that sounds heavy but I hear that the only thing that matters in a paren't life is a kid and all of a sudden every other little neurosis simply disappears?

    9. For those parents who say they don't enjoy parenting were you genuinely happy before having kids?

    10. Imagine your life without your children. Wouldn't it be empty? Don't you think that if you were childless you'd simply be regretting the fact you have no kids and wondering what life is all about? In what way do you imagine your life would be improved by not having children?


  • To all those questions...NOPE!

  • It's hard to answer these questions when your in the trenches.
    - I love my two girls aged 12 and 2 more than anything but being a mom sucks. My life doesn't have more meaning than it did before- and everything makes less sense- and kids will not make an unfulfilling job more tolerable, just more necessary for supporting the family.
    - playing with my kids when I'm not exhausted is more fun than other people's kids- it's personal in that you watch them make connections and become a unique person that you made
    -I don't know why people have more kids- we didn't plan to but our two year old was a birth control anomaly-
    - we say it's wonderful because at times it is, but when talking to people who don't have kids, we say it to them because we want to believe it and I'm willing to bet it is a greater percentage than 2- more like half I'd say.
    - actual adventures with kids are fun sometimes but require lots of planning and you have to accept that your kids may not cooperate. Christmas is okay but expensive, and there is a great deal of pressure. Seeing their happy faces makes you feel good for a bit, but you still have to pay the bills after-
    - the moments of joy are usually small although very intense, but they do not outweigh the challenges at all. Accept that challenges and struggles and stress are part of the whole reproductive package. Kids are not an investment that comes with a guaranteed return. And it's more complex than the ups and downs of life in general because of the size of your emotional investment
    - I am more confident as a parent the second time around, but not in other areas of my life- it's hard to have confidence in other areas because your number one focus is on being a parent so you end up going outside your home wearing sweats with unwashed hair looking sleep deprived. Not a confidence builder.
    - yes I was genuinely happy before and hoped children would just increase that happiness more. It didn't.

  • Thank you very much for that articulate, thoughtful and honest response to my questions. It's a very difficult decision to make and one that I can imagine will come with regrets which ever route we take: E.g. 'what did I miss out on by not having kids?' There is a downside either way I think.

    I've even had friends tell me that they have a much richer social life as a result of having children (although I haven't seen evidence of this) and that there are so many opportunities to meet new people etc that I am missing out on.

    I have also had people look at me in genuine shock and horror when I tell them I don't yet have children. There is a definite stigma to our situation, but I appreciate that's no reason to have children.

    Thanks again for you reply

  • I'm 32 with three kids and I can literally feel my health disintegrating from the stress of trying to manage a successful career and balance a family.

    I love my family, but being a good father doesn't come easy at all. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Sometimes I have to put my littlest one in his crib and walk away because I can't trust myself to make smart decisions when he gets worked up and melts down. All I want to do is be a good father but sometimes I literally feel like I'm not capable of being one.

    All your friends that tell you how easy life is after having a kid are full of s***. One thing I've learned about parents, everyone is an expert and everyone's perfect. Behind closed doors marriages are on the rocks, people are screaming at their kids and lots of parents aren't happy. Society lies to you and gives you this perfect image of what having kids will be like, and sometimes, on those great days, it is sunshine and rainbows, but most of the time it's trench warfare you spend your whole day desperately trying to maintain enough emotional composure that you don't s**** up your kids for life.

    Doing even the simplest activities become impossible. Need to drive to the corner store for milk? Hopefully you have 20min to dedicate solely to entering and exiting your vehicle.

    Yet despite all this somehow I'd burn alive for them and I would be desperately sad if I lost them. It's witchcraft. Why do I love such misery?

  • Childfree already knows the misery behind closed doors...next!

  • I feel a lot of regret as well. I read a lot of these comments and it got me thinking... about being stuck in the pity pit. Something maybe about 500+ "poor me" rants have an effect, read one after the other. I feel a little sillier with my own "poor me" crap... and maybe that I've been resentful because I'm a childish person trying to raise a child.

    I think an inner monologue of hatred and dispair only produces more of it. Meanwhile, your parenting is s***** because you are depressed, in turn having shittier kids, in turn feeling even more depressed. Sure if I'd turn back time I wouldn't do it again, as I obviously suck at it, but hells what is done is done. I'll be damned if I spend the next couple decades feeling sorry for myself.

    Thanks for starting this enormous thread, it's pretty enlightening. Time to get my head out of my ass.... it ain't an easy one but it can't be impossible.

  • This is my life. So happy to know I'm not alone in my dislike of being a parent. I honestly feel like I haven't had fun since the kids were born. I am sick of people saying how great parenthood is.

  • Those are the ones truly miserable and in denial and fake a smile and are bored with their lives and put it through their kids... they're lying. Although a few are truly happy.

  • Listen, there is no one where written in soceity that says you have to stick around and be a parent. F*** parent-hood, it sucks. LEAVE, it's your life do what you want, you're not obligated to other human beings, if you're not happy, how can you possibly make others happy? Just walk out and start over.

  • Because those people who MADE their mistakes, realize it, and feel sorry for their Lil helpless, innocent, DNA copies of THEIRS. They all can't just start over no matter how much they cry and bargain, you'll be labeled and known as a deadbeat, breeder, etc. So they are obligated for the human beings THEY created, bad moral judgment on their end if they do a crappy job of parenting. They fool feeble-minded couples of their fake happiness by lying. Just walking out, is really no solution majority of the time, so many kids will wonder why and blame themselves, causing other mental issues, etc. Their faults.

  • Statistically**

  • As a woman who absolutely hates children (no offense to anyone). It p***** me off that women seem to manipulate and persuade their partner to have a child. Children suck, they're basically smaller, helpless, dumb and annoying versions of human-beings. They aren't capable of doing anything on their own, and are unappreciative of everything.... I hate that women- I'm saying this because statically its mostly women- put their dumb children up on a pedestal as if their kids is the best damn thing that's ever walked this Earth. I hate the stupid baby-wearing, and the special children diets, and the activities that parents pretend to be interested in, but rather being doing something else. I hate the sacrifice and the selfishness that comes with dealing with children. The bothersome presence of them, and the screaming, whining, and b******* from never being satisfied. I hate seeing the looks on parents (mostly fathers) faces who are done and tired, waiting for the moment they grow up and leave. It's so hard for me to be near a child who is annoying and not say something or glare at them in a mean way.

    I am so happy I wasn't born with that stupid "itch" to have children. I like my life too much to ever want to have a child, destroying the image of my body so this little ball of whining unappreciative human-being can ruin my life and take away everything I ever want to do. I commend any parent who can openly admit their dismay for their role as a parent. I would rather have a dog or a cat over a baby any f****** day.

  • Children are a complete bore. I don't feel sorry for those women or men who manipulate. People impetuously have unprotected s** are just lazy to use protection or contraception, it's not rocket science. Look at DJ Pauly D. Used tool. BGC Camille Poindexter being an alleged side chick to a married man. Like Wendy Williams said abt Evelyn's kid referring it as a "paycheck" LOL its true! Kids these days are products of loveless hookups that fool idiots that it's love HA! Dogs are better 1000% babies look like potatoes. Enough said.

  • Just think of some people who have a loser child who is 37 and still living at home working at mcdonalds.

  • Hey parrot!

  • Couldn't agree more. It's so hard not to be openly hostile or rude to entitled parents who share their misery by bring their loud out of control kids to expensive restaurants to make everyone else suffer, or to let them cry, scream, and run around in the grocery store. I no longer move out of the way for a kid charging my direction full speed. I have had them run into my basket and falldown crying, I look at the parent as I'm navigating around their now screaming kid and say you should keep them under control. Not my problem. Maybe the selfish little twit will learn from that experience not to run at people since their parents won't teach them.

  • There kids stupid weren't you one I would have beat the living crap out of u if you would have pulled that ignorant stunt on my child

  • No, I was formed in a lab with meta human abilities to know about my future, like not having kids and opening a sanctuary for rescued animals. Why so serious?! 🤡

  • Its "They're" stupid. For a stupid mistake YOUR child caused because YOU weren't watching it? Oh wait, you're an entitled parent--miserable. We're all not enraptured by your Lil DNA copy. Lemme guess, you allow your kid to run amok in nice restaurants while waiters and waitresses try to avoid them and still do their jobs feigning a smile. I heard their complaints. I would LOVE see you beat the crap outta me, I bet you're unfit and fat, so I'll win 😋 make you exercise harder.

  • Dude!!! Yes!!! Same here!!! I had to scream at a child approaching my protective dog who would've attacked her. Obviously I would've won and show no remorse if my dog did attack her kid and a lawsuit occurred because her lil b****** came towards MY kid (my dog) doing his job protecting me on our daily walks! The irresponsible mom finally arrived after just calling her stupid kid, and apologized to me. Hopefully I taught her a lesson "KEEP YOUR EYES ON YOUR CROTCHFRUIT!!". I gave her a death stare but all is forgiven. Kids need leashes!!! There are childfree restaurants (bastards running around in hopes of a lawsuit I bet), soon theatres, etc. they're not wanted but a nuisance; a migraine, if you will. There are worse people out there crazy enough to strike a child, or idk why? kidnap. I always blame the parents... kids fault too for wandering away from its herd.

  • I feel the same as well! I have two young boys with absolutely no help from there mother. I just want my old life back! I used to enjoy life now it's all just work and kids work and kids. I can't remember the last time I was truly happy....

  • I feel the same way except I'm the mom in my case.

  • I just love you. Thank you for putting into words exactly how I feel.

  • Sad, I know. I feel like I am in prison awaiting death before waisting the rest of my potential and life doing non f****** stop never ending chores. I once had a life and s*** going for me n my art. I traveled and afforded my travels by selling my art. I feel my life has been stolen I'm out of options. My son's father had no respect for me or my dreams and decided he wanted a baby and threatened me ta the point where I was afraid to get abortion. I told him repeatedly that I didn't want ta have unprotected s** and get pregnant but he was abusive and ruined my life and body he beat me and almost murdered me while pregnant and look where I'm at now? All cause I finally decided ta try a relationship at 28 years of age. What a mistake. I'ts like he ran me over with a mac truck oh well won't trust another again. All I can do is chores chores chores while all my peers live their live's, I wait for death cause at least I won't have ta be constantly reminded of how my life was ripped up dreams down in flames potential wasted all because this pig for a human being entered my life shame on me I will never trust another grown human again in a relationship I'm so disgusted. And at least I won't have ta wake up everyday cause waking up to face another day of never ending chores is far less pleasant than not waking up at all. Sorry, I'm tired and just want this nightmare ta end-

  • Surrender your kid either to the father or the state. Reclaim your life. You don't deserve this.

  • Oh dear I can sooo relate. I am so so sorry love. Its insanely hard. I got pregnant by guy I was dating after repeatedly telling him I did not want a kid now our daughter is 1 and we are split up. I too wasn't artist and used to travel and have so much Independence and freedom now I have very little free time except working a job that I really do not like because I have to because he won't even pay me child support. It seems very dismal and never-ending at this point but I just keep trying to push on and somehow escape this misery that my life has evolved to. I hope you know that you're not alone in this struggle

  • How'd you 2 end up with such abusive breeder jerks that just wanted s**, a kid and quit it? I'd cause H*** among them. Abort and leave: I'm happy!! But I pray God will provide for both of you. Oh vey!

  • My boys don't really appreciate anything I've done for them, which is a lot. I typically don't even get a "happy Mother's Day" or even a "Happy Birthday". It's really sad. They are so selfish and manipulative. You pay for everything, but they don't want your input or your rules. They claim to be "adults" but they will never be able to pay for their own car insurance or health insurance (these two bills combined in NJ will run about $10,000- $15,000/year). The way our economy is, we'll be lucky if they can leave at the age of 35. And I hate this generation's so-called "music". My kids blast it everytime they take a shower. It's full of foul language. it's horrible, repetitive, crap. It gives me a migraine and it plays loudly in every store at the mall too. I can't even shop in peace.

  • What you done for them? They weren't asked to be born you sniveling quim. Did you want them so you can be titled a mom and earn gifts on Mothers Day and get repaid back? Who's selfish here?

    Don't feel bad, if kids these days were given a preview of their future lives, then asked to be born to YOU dismal parents on here and in real life, I believe ALL of them would say pass. Imagine "why would my mommy and daddy hate me for what they did?" They would abort themselves and make all of you infertile HAHAAAAAAA good! If life was like that, population would never reach 7 billion. I feel sorry for your kids. So tragic.

  • Children are worth it huh? Do you think they'll care for you in your elderly age? Not rewarding is it?

  • Anyone with a partner like this should know their kids are in danger and should take it seriously.

  • If you can afford to travel you know this is mostly an American issue. In other developed nations parents get more help, paid paternity & maternity leave, and mental health care. When I was in Georgia and Texas I saw parents like this all the time. I don't see them so upset like this and hating their kids in Canada and the Netherlands. As for me if I had a spouse like this I would say they need mental health treatment or I would leave for the safety of my children.

  • Yeah that's because the state/country are HELPING them raise their kids. Now if the state/country wasn't helping them, let's see if they'd still have kids, betcha they won't; small population. Many people wouldn't. It'd be too expensive.

    NO one couldn't pay me, not even trillions or more, to have a child. No matter how much help I receive. They made their kids, they should take care of it themselves. Not A village shouldn't. Lazy moo.

  • I'm in the Netherlands, government assistance doesn't stop kids from being whiny little need-machines.

  • Beating them sure does!

  • But if it was the mother you would be sending words of encouragement and saying to be strong right? Hypocrite

  • Idk who would, I wouldn't. Just a whiny woman who thought she would have it all and was proven wrong.

  • Exactly, f****** like this asshat above smh....

  • This is why stay at home dads are a bad idea

  • If you read through some of these posts many are moms too. Believe it or not, children are a challenge whether you have a v***** or not.

  • My cousin made a confession like this and we all pitched in and helped her out. Sometimes it's depression or feeling overwhelmed and you just need to reach out. She's doing much better now and loves her kids.

  • I love my kids but I hate the anxiety. I live in Maine where CPS is notoriously out of control. We have an apartment. I have been told/threatened that it is too small for kids and we need a house instead. I'm afraid to go out whenever any kids gets a bruise playing or is in a bad mood having tantrums because I am terrified to have someone call CPS on me and have them take my kids. It's never ending fear about this. People call for anything these days and many seem to think CPS is some kind of helpline or benevolent organization and don't realize the real harm false reports do to people. I have a friend whose parents lost her for six months as a child for smoking weed. What happened to her in foster care almost ruined her life. She is still in therapy. Being a parent means being fearful and often helpless. I wish I could afford to move to protect my kids from this threat.

  • Better start disciplining (whip, slap) them now or CPS will s***** me up or worse, it'll be your fault. They could end up in prison. The rough system will break them a lot worse than you can, possibly dispassionate, emotionless due from all the families they live with then kicked out, etc. kids should be at home while you work or watched. Thank God I won't deal with all that stress. Whew! God Bless love

  • This is why we aren't having more than 1 kid....The joys of being a parent, but not too much stress - we can take turns taking care of him, still have a social life, grandparents are willing to babysit one kid etc, still have money for trips and travel...and only go through each stage ONCE!

  • Me too. I still regret it but at least it’s only ONE. Maybe when she’s older I won’t regret it at all, but at least I can’t be certain I’ll only have one. My husband is getting a vasectomy asap.

  • *CAN be certain

  • Wow. You're smart...

  • Right! I'm a 100% single mom with no help and God help me if I ever have to go through any stages more than once. One is GOOD =) hard as heck, but doable.

  • I'm glad I stumbled on this post. I totally agree, my kids have sucked the life out of me. I only hope they'll appreciate it someday but probably they won't. Ungrateful f******.

  • This is my life also. Its misery. Want my life back the way it use to be. Im living also a lie. I was against a child yet wife didnt think the same. I do hate everything that you do about parenthood. Reading this helps me just so i know im not the only parent faking a smile holding back anger hating my new life and not the only one out there feeling like this! Thank You for this post. I think there should be IRL support groups for parenthood!

  • HA! I knew it! Communicate or leave her. Too late.

  • If there was an IRL parenthood support group I would sure as s*** not go. Think about what would be said there. they would be giving all these positive tips and tricks that just help exasperate the lie that being a parent can be fun. It would just turn into yet another thing on my calendar to deal with in addition to all the frigging soccer games, bake sales, dentist appointments and other s*** I have to spend my time and money and life on that's for these little f****** called kids.

  • I can relate to the frustrations of many here who are parents of young children, especially if both parents work and there are no family members around to help. I think American policies for parents, especially working parents, are horrendous. I grew up in an affluent country in Asia where governmental policies and family friendly social values mean parents have a lot of support. The income taxes citizens pay fund all the resources and there is an abundance of low-cost and high quality childcare options. It is also normal for grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, neighbors etc to help babysit. Many of my peers there also have (affordable) live in housekeepers/nannies. Consequently, they are more relaxed and it is not unusual for them to be able to get away sans kids for movies/trips overseas. No one judges them for taking time for themselves. I suspect many parents on this forum will feel a bit happier if they have more help and time to recharge their batteries.

  • This is BS! Perhaps people should stop having so many kids or stop having kids when they can't afford them. It p***** me off to no end that parents are always getting preferential treatment all because the performed a basic biological act. I contribute to society and am not a burden but am penalized through taxes to help pay for broke parents who just keep having more.

  • Things must and will change. That's why I believe parents should be taxed more and we shouldn't help fund, not our problem they committed something similar to defecating.

  • If there was no funding or helping broke couples to breed, there won't be any kids in site 😀It'll be like Japan. One child in a classroom. They're so ahead, it's embarrassing. Kids are in school there until 5, why not here? Lil twits want their mommies t*** and video games 😷

  • Ugh- I sympathize. I write this reply after my 7 month old dumped my cold coffee all over me and the floor. Then after cleaning it up and getting the baby down for a nap; my 8 year old stands acting like a total invalid begging for food- because heaven forbid she do something for herself for once. Fine, got her breakfast sorted out.

    Pour myself a new coffee, cut up some fruit to eat- there's my 8 year old standing there staring at me begging for strawberries off my plate, then doesn't even eat them. Oh and wait- I think that's my a****** baby crying in the background, so much for my coffee....F*** I hate kids so much. You can't even have a second of peace and quiet!

  • 8 years old and can't make her own lil meals? You sure she's not autistic or some bullshit excuse? You're enabling her dude. WEAR A CONDOM!!!!! So simple! Vasectomy. Think!

  • I hate being a parent as well. my spouse decided not to take any birth control pills with out telling me and got pregnant. i feel like an dumb ass. i been tricked. I hate her so much. i love my child but being a parent sucks. I wasnt ready for this.

  • You should have worn a condom and not trust her. Really?! You men...should've punched her in the uterus. Oh well! Not your fault, but could've been avoided. If she has birth control pills, crush them in her drinks.

  • Please leave. I am so sorry for you. I'm a cf woman and think it's grievously unfair that men get trapped for at least 18 years by women like your wife. The system is so unfair. You should be able to terminate your obligation as you were tricked.

  • I know it's unexpected, but learn from this mistake. You should try to be a part of your child's life and I think one day you may be happy you have one. But If you are sure you want no more children, have a vasectomy. However, still use a condom to protect from STDs. This world is really about survival and trying to maintain your sanity. Good luck!

  • Learn what? Not to trust his wife - he probably didn't realize she would do something like this because he trusted her.

  • News flash ,we are all alone in this life,even im a billionaire with my own sperm bank having 10 thousands children all over the world,with their mums i will never get to know,the truth is that we are all alone. you know that every day,no matter how much you want to feel the desire of others on you,we all mean nothing. what had a point when you are young means nada later in life,childre will grow up one day,discover drinking and drugs and s**,look at their parents ,they do have a sense this life is f***** up,but we all take confort that when they will hit the real problems and divorces and all the pains and all the misery.wars.terorism,crimes and all the s*** in this world ,and the kid will come to you and ask you,if you knew that this life was so f***** up,why did you had me? what are you going to answer,ow yeah i had this f****** passion inst it ?

  • Parents are selfish. But those doing a great job, like mine and a several others I've known and currently do, standing ovation. Life's all not that bad friend. But you sir have an excellent point! I apologize what you've experienced.

  • Best reply by far!!!

  • I relate to this on so many levels!! I hate parenthood!

  • This is how my aunt and uncle saw my sister and me. I'm certain now, and I knew it then. I started self harming at 9, wanted to run away since before then. Still struggle with suicidal thoughts as an adult because I feel worthless no matter what I do. "I love you," they said every day, and I don't doubt it. But it didn't help when I knew that my existence was such a problem for them.

    See the thing is, your kids won't be blind to your point of view for long. They'll know this is how you feel about them, they'll know that you see them as a burden. What that does to a child's self esteem is equivalent to mental abuse. I lived it and I feel sorry for your children.

    And I know that taking care of kids isn't easy, h***. I've had to take care of my sisters' children since I was 14, complete with changing diapers, having them not listen, being screamed at, kicked/hit, the works. You name it, I've lived it when it comes to kids, every single day. But the main thing I've realized is, my attitude and opinion of taking care of them is MY OWN CHOICE. They are JUST CHILDREN, they can't help being born, and they certainly aren't keeping you from your life on purpose. I'm not saying you have to enjoy every diaper change but I am saying maybe if you didn't try to view their existence as a problem, then you'd be happier than you are. No matter what your life situation is like, the grass is greener on the other side so there's no point in all this.

    Either they'll grow self esteem issues or they'll learn from your example and see other human beings as problems. I'm disgusted at the amount of negativity here and i hope, for their sakes, none of your children eventually find this thread. Because I have no doubt that most of you love your kids, but what happens when your kids themselves doubt it?

  • I understand where you're coming from, but at the same time if the kids did stumble upon this post, well maybe more children oughta learn that life is not all about having kids and that it's not always a fairytale after having kids maybe they will be more careful not to have kids themselves because nobody ever talks about how having children can be harmful to both parent and child depending on the situation. Your right about being treated as a burden, but it's also sad for the parents as well. Parents feel these feeling and it's not always a choice. I don't think most people choose to feel pain but even harder for parents when they are bottling up these feeling cause of course you don't want children ta feel like a burden. But parents are humans too, and it seems they almost lose the right ta be human and feel what they feel after having them. Gotta put on the fake smile for the kids and god forbid don't dwell on the truth that things just aren't going right in their own lives anymore. Statistics are like, outa this world for single parents achieving big dreams. Takes a real supermom. It's a challenge staying positive. Just saying.

  • If you parents think, want to tell yourself but try not to, believe your own, innocent, flesh and blood are burdens, it's gonna backfire on you. Your own flesh and blood will think of you in your old age as burdens. Its ugly. My sisters have nothing to do with my Parents, I'm the only "good" child. Therefore I have the responsibility that I never asked for, to care for my parents. But they did a lot for me like spoiling and you know, I'd do the same. Selfish but ehhh. I love them

  • Except for couples who wanted to be parents but hey, they go through H*** as well. It's not always dandy. Must really suck

  • You have it all wrong. Parents do love their kids that is WHY we are doing all this. We simply want a little appreciation, cooperation, and courtesy. This is not asking much. I never felt like my kids were a burden though I worked full time and finished college part time while caring for them. All I ever wanted was to hear: "Thanks mom!" "Love you mom!" or "I appreciate your help, mom". This is what my son told me today .." Don't talk to me for the rest of the week! You just make me too mad! " Why? because I want him to go to computer classes instead of cutting to go to a concert! By the way, he is now 21, has no job and I am footing the $20,000 bill for his computer school. He has already failed out of community college for skipping classes. So please, don't disrespect hard working parents.

  • Appreciation of what? For being parents by mistake? Entitlement? You want a medal or a reward for doing a life-long job that was "somehow" begotten into your life? You getting pregnant was a reward, your child IS your medal, like it or not. You are permanently assigned to raise him, if he achieves throughout life or not. You decided to be lazy, have unprotected s**, and conceive a child.
    What cooperation? YOU made that kid, so you take him, not other people's problems, just yours. I didn't carry him for 9 long hellish months, you did. The whole world will not stop if he, God forbids, gets killed or went missing, it'll keep on going until Christ returns.
    Courtesy? Honey this is logic. Your child is a failure, ain't nothing you can do, but continue trying or give up. Pray. I guess you weren't working hard for him to be the way that he is now. Parenting is hard but you chose it. No one said it'll be easy. Maybe he needs to find himself; find God. Iono.
    Kids are still worth it eh?
    Competition in life.

  • Well this just goes to show that parenting is never worth it. All that hard work for nothing and more destruction? Yo-ho-yo-ho a Childfree life for me

  • I am a 26, almost 27 year old woman and I go back and forth. There are times when I feel like I would make a great mother and even smile at the thought. Those times are very rare and I know it's my body releasing chemicals which tells my brain that my "clock" is ticking and I should be pregnant by now. I was always uncomfortable around kids who are really unpredictable and the only one I was ever able to get along with is my little cousin who is extremely well behaved. I often get severe migraines and they usually happen when any of my "triggers" are set off such as, loud noises, strong fragrances, stress and my time of the month. When i am experiencing one of my migraines, rocking back and forth on my bed in extreme pain it is in that moment when I think "I wouldn't be able to do it" I wouldn't be able to care for an, infant, child or even a teenager like this. I have seen a neurologist and the pills help but caring for a kid while I'm puking every half an hour because my migraine hit it's peak.. no thanks.

  • You are correct in your thinking. Do not have kids. I also get migraines. One bit of advice- try birth control pills if you have not done so. This way you will be killing two birds with one stone. I figured out my biggest trigger is period week- my headaches are hormonal! Now my Dr. has me taking pills for 3 months before an "off" week. However, they are often triggered by the same things you mentioned- noise & perfumes. Good luck!

  • Don't have kids.

  • I think im prob the only mother who would admit out loud i hate kids.... I have a 3 year old and a 4 month old... I have no f****** life... No social life... Facebook and my phone is my way to the outside world. In laws are f****** traditional chinks... No f****** use... Straight out of china...o gosh... The things i go thru with them... I think about shooting them every single day... Or taking a soy sauce bottle and throwing them across their heads and say " beat that chinks!" children just take take take and never give back... While im feeding my 4 month old and i have the 3 year old yapping ahead im typing this. I have to spend every single day keeping both these anklebiters entertained... By the time they r 18 ill be in my 50s ..... What the h***!! Theres no more going clubbing...forget about the trance and techno music... Forget about going to bars looking at hot men.... Thats all down the f****** drain... I hate my f****** life with kids...
    I just got offered an amazing position n opportunity at my work...but only condition is i have to come back from my maternity leave right away.... I want to sooooovfucking badly but my useless husband and inlaws dont agree.... There goes my life again... I hate kids... I hate my life!

  • Must REALLY suck to be your racist ass hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  • Drop that s*** off, there's always adoption...

  • I don't think the problem is your kids. I think that you're just very immature.

  • And you probably don't even have kids saying something like that! I don't care who you are deep down inside and every parent has felt this at one point in time.

  • Well that's the parents fault (you included) for reproducing. Yep! I'll never feel like that! Yippeeeeee!!! Those ads and commercials of parenthood, we know it's a false cascade, nice try media and lying dumb parents. I have too much intellect to be fooled. Duces!

  • I'm literally listening to my two month old cry right now as I'm typing bc I don't wanna deal with this f****** s*** anymore. I just want to be a dead beat and live for myself but I don't have the heart for it.

  • Those 16 likes are loser parents such as yourself. You poor saps! Dead beats. You are a parent for LIFE. FOR LIFE!!!!

  • Well...do it. Leave. Abandon. Be labeled a deadbeat breeder...

  • I am just so sad and disappointed.

  • Will never be me. when I was growing up all I did was open my eyes and watch everything...and all I could think was 'why should I join this cluster mess in this p*** pile'

  • I'm so sorry. Reading this makes me so glad I am childfree and an anti-natalist.

  • Agreed. Turning 40 this year, ZERO regrets about not having kids.

  • Agreed

  • Dolphinately agreed. So awesome! No care in the world. Freedom!

  • Lol, u r not alone! Marriage is the epitimy of dating...then kid(s). I just got a vasectomy after the first, only touching this hot stove once! Kid(s) f****** suck and are not worth the overwhelming burden! I'm considering enlisting in the military at 37yrs of age just to escape. I wish I got the procedure done also at age 18. For those that say blessing, u r f****** gluttons for torment!

  • It's "epitome"

  • Military won't take you if your over 29

  • Unless your worth it but still doubtful. They like young minds that can still be molded

  • Think the military will take me at 43?

  • Cant wait to go back to work tomorrow!

  • I can't wait to go back home to relax and spend time with my sweetheart, 4 rescued pit bulls, my 2 goats, several chickens and my sun conures. Oh wait, that's because we don't want kids. A lot of guys tell me how lucky I am, well being smart is a factor as well. I guess they forget how babies are created.

  • Lol same here bro!

  • I'm a father of two and i hate my f****** life, i stay up til 2-3 am every night even though i have to be up at 6am because its all my life is, s** is anoying because its on such a strict schedule its boring, there is no joy in life anymore, i love my wife and kids, but i wish i could just fast forward past the next ten years and still be 28....my wife has so much presure with social media but i know she feels worse because she had one before i knew her when she was 19.....i am unemployed because me and the wife have mental illness, i dont drive, i dont go out, i have no money for anything but my phone.....i hate being a parent, i had a s*** childhood and teenagehood, and then i has 3 years in my twenties when i felt truly alive....i had a lot of fun in those hree or four years and made them count, but in this place its impossible to have anything but regrets.....all day is nothing but yelling and arguing xchildren....my stepdaughter is nine and we just got her out of our bed two years ago, she still tries to get me to wipe her @$$ when its "mushy"......someone kill me now

  • Why the h*** did you have children with no careers and mental health issues? F*** you - passing your crappy ass genes on to an innocent person and making everyone else pay for it. Get off your ass and go get a J.O.B.

  • Stupid people breed...passing on defects only, not genes. Oops!

  • He was bored, that's their pathetic past time, kids. His genes will go down the drain eventually. Poor people breed, the rich live their luxurious lives and rarely wouldn't bother. Have you people seen Idiocracy?!!

  • I think we r all on the same boat. I hate waking up early and throughout the night feeding a newborn... I hate keeping my older one entertained so he doesnt kill the younger one. I hate not being able to go out and have my own time. When i take my kids to preschool and those early childhood centres... Other parents are like"awww your kids are sooo cute" im just thinking in my mind....damnnn stop faking it..my only time by myself is at night when i could finally take a s*** without having tag alongs in the bathroom...im so sick and tired of this s***. By the time they are 19 years old im already in my 50s fuckkkkkk this s***.. I hate my life..

  • That's required when you make kids...it comes with consequences. Pregnancy was a free trial...oh well

  • It was worth waiting to age 50 to finally get freedom. If I could have fast forwarded my life to age 50. It would have been worth it. Even though I would have lost out on my young years. My son was a problem child from the age of 3. Hitting me. Throwing toys. Always wanting his own way, no matter what. As he grew older he got physically and verbally abusive. Had him in therapy for years. Nothing helped. Kicked him out when he was in his 20's. Good riddance. He moved in with a relative who feels sorry for him. He has a college education but never worked a day in his life. Good riddance to him.

  • Well Looky here!!! A child growing up with problems. A child in therapy....yeah children are so worth it. Childfree ain't missing nothing that's for sure!

  • Obviously you didn't do a good job disciplining him. Whipping, slapping, you just suck. No wonder your lil b****** turned out like a demon spawn. It's your fault. You probably negotiated with him when he was young. You parents make me sick. Blame yourself.

  • I understand

  • My only free time is when I pretend to have to take a s*** and hide in the bathroom playing games on my ipad. I hate being a mother and a wife. I think about driving far away, changing my name and starting all over again at least 3 times day.

  • So that IS true!! You're totally screwed. Should've aborted when you had the chance. I don't sympathize for you people who CHOSE to make your lives miserable and thinking this without a thought. No wonder the childfree are smart and HAPPY

  • Yes!

  • I'm pregnant and having constant mental breakdowns because I feel the same way, I know I made a mistake. The father and his mom are willing to take the baby. I could really do the thing you're thinking of, and with the baby young enough to not remember me. I'm really considering doing it, should I?

  • Watch Sarah Silverman on the Sarah Silverman program did when she had a baby, crawled out the window and left. Leave and dump the kid with the dad and his mom. That's on you though...probably had the kid by now. 😬 That's another one on the Good Ship Misery.

  • You mean abortion? It's not a bad word. If you haven't done it now, well... kiss EVERYTHING goodbye. There's this thing called "instincts" or "gut feeling" it'll be wise to listen. Don't let us dictate you.

  • I got a friend of mine pregnant. Neither of us want this child but she's had two abortions before and she said that she can't psychology handle a third (which I understand). So honestly both of us are hoping for a miscarriage or something. She's putting on a good front for her mom who's excited but she's a roller coaster right now. I want out of this bad because honestly I didn't want children for myself and me and her shouldn't be parents together. We're too different and we want be a team in raising/teaching the child. But if she carries this child I have to be there for it. I can't be a deadbeat. It saddens me that I want be the dad this kid deserves. I won't be able to be what my dad was to me. Another sad fact is I'm still very much in love with my ex-girlfriend and she will never take me back after this...hoping nature bails us out

  • You are just utterly stupid. Seems like you're probably raising your oops kid now. Oh all H*** breaks loose upon your lives.

  • Push her down the stairs. Stress her out. Your friend was stupid twice for having unprotected s** and now third times a charm. God's punishment buddy. Deal with it. Why would one be psychologically messed up from previous terminated pregnancies if you didn't know the damn thing? It's relief to many with no regrets.

  • Yes! Go now. You will always regret it if you stay and feel resentful. Take it from me - I stayed when I should have left. I feel trapped in a prison of wondering how it might have been. I cannot wait until my son is 18. He is almost 9 now and I am counting down when I am free. I put on a good act and no one knows, but I miss my life so much.

  • Yes. Absolutely!! Start running and never look back.

  • I also feel the same way I have three kids and I feel so overwhelmed with all the responsibly, I have no relationship with my wife it all revolves around kids

  • Why did you have 3 if you hated it so much?

  • I had a tubal ligation after the first.

  • I feel exact same way, but I am a Mom. You are Not Alone.

  • I am a mom but I hate my physically and verbally abusive son. I have nothing to do with him since he is an adult. I am so glad to be rid of him.

  • Me too, so glad to see another mum here! My 2 kids never stop screaming and demanding from me, it's awful. I just want to be by myself or just with my husband most of the time.

  • You mean childfree? It is the good and peaceful life. Not lonely at all as you idiots feared but now yearn for. That ship has sailed and ain't NEVER coming back

  • You fools don't discipline with your passive feeble minds...of course you're parents

  • I love my son, I hate being a dad. I can't sleep in my own bed because he HAS to sleep with his mother (he's 16 months old) I have to wolf my food down because he can't stand seeing others eat, I don't get to go out anymore, only tv I get is pbs, I hate the crying, s***** diapers, it always seems like he's never happy, my relationship with my wife is near non existent. I once attempted suicide and nearly died, instead she revived me (I OD' on pills and whisky) she didn't tell me she loved me or that she'd miss me,she was concerned about not having extra hands to deal with our son. I've never been good with kids, I'm a lousy dad and I don't enjoy being around kids. I'm 40 and I have no desire to live

  • You might just need to go my man...it might be better for everyone involved

  • Get help for yourself and leave her. Cutting a cheque every month is better for your sanity.

  • Leave. You are screwed one way or another, so taking off will at least give you a chance to with yourself.

  • He made his bed, now he must lie in it. Don't let a f****** kid rule your life or marriage. Sucks b**** but you gotta take charge.

  • Nonsense. He can still salvage what he can. It's foolish to continue a disaster just because "he's made his bed." It's ok to take your hand off a hot stove. Wise even.

  • Yeah by not allowing a kid to slave him around. He's stuck.

  • Im glad to find this website to read stories about the misery of having kids. I have always hated kids since I could remember. Even as a high school student, I knew that I didn't want kids. I'm 28 and I still do not want kids and I'm pretty much the only person I know out of any of my friends and siblings that don't have kids. I hate going to family parties because my nieces and nephews are always running around screaming and being annoying. My brothers kids mistreat animals and I can't stand watching it. I live in Utah where it's normal for people to get married and pop out a kid or 2 by the time they're 25. I hate going to grocery stores and watching kids horseplay with one another down the Isle, especially when they don't pay attention and cut you off by running in front of you. I hate watching kids whine and beg their parents to buy them this buy them that. I hate watching my friends complain that they're always broke because baby food and diapers has added around $300 to their grocery bill and then an extra $300 or so for daycare. I feel like kids make you trapped they drain your energy, your bank account, your social life, etc. Saving money to go anywhere is probably impossible (unless you're a millionaire) and when you do save enough money for a vacation, kids will probably just make it miserable and not worth it with their constant whining. Don't get me wrong, I will socialize with peoples kids when they say hi to me, I'm not completely cold about it. I just don't see this is the life for me. My Dream is to travel and see places all over the world and having kids will get in the way of this. I do hope to get married one day, but I want to enjoy myself and my husband without annoying kids running around.

  • You definitely should not have kids if you cannot afford to live comfortably with them; this is one thing i've never understood. Why the frick have 2 or 3 if you can barely afford one??? I mean seriously.

  • People like that are incredibly stupid it baffles me. Double the trouble

  • You're the smartest one for realizing this ahead of time. I too have never felt a connection to children. Whenever I was out w my friends at the beach or a restaurant I would move my seat if there were kids around. Then I thought I loved someone who said there was no reason to get married if you didn't want kids. Fast forward 5 years later I'm married with a 3 And 4 year old and miserable. The children both were surprises, Weren't planned. I hate every second of it and feel guilty as h***. Every second I'm around them I feel like I'm being tortured. The constant screaming and fighting or horseplay were I'm scared someone is gonna get hurt. The worst part is I'm even more scared for when this baby s*** is done and they are out on the world. I hate being a nervous wreck. I hate not having any freedom. I regret everything about my life everyday and it's an awful way to live. I fantasize about the time when they are old enough that I can get a divorce and move to the city alone. I recently went back to work and it's the best thing I've ever done. People ask me on Monday how my weekend was, I say "being here is my weekend" I wish I could run away.

  • You need to do this, I wish I'd had this mind set before. I have 2 kids, they're 2 & 4 and they're s***** and mean and all they do is moan and fight.

  • So you were mindless and "unfulfilling" before or just bored? Sad. Any person possess that mindset. Intellectual ones keep it! If a child of mine (shudders) moan and fights, a slap to their face, a switch to their ass and a pop on their mouth, it's called DISCIPLINE. True parenting. Not being a slave!!! Get real and do something and stop b*******

  • Have you tried acting like a parent and disciplining your kids??

  • Or you could not judge since you have no idea what this person's story is.

  • Don't have to. It's common sense

  • Stay to the plan, envy your wisdom!

  • Are you me lol?

  • Make sure you do what you like before getting married and having kids... I gave up my nursing education...i gave up travelling and im a mother of 2kids now and damnnnn i f****** hate this life... I know i will never be able to travel with freedom again... I look back at my pictures from japan...korea...germany...spain...and i cry everytime. I know there are no refunds with life... Sucks for me... So dont follow my path. I wish you all the best!

  • Why did you give up on your nursing education?

  • Seriously? Her kids. 😂 But she would've made a terrific and useful nurse I bet.

  • If your life is so bad then adopt the kid out. the little f****** know when they're unwanted.

    I mean it.

  • I have a friend who recently had a baby and hes all she ever talks about. She posts 1-2 picture on social media of him everyday. Her baby is 7 months old and nothing has changed. It's always my baby this my baby that.

  • She had no life before and she has no life now.

  • Yeah I definitely feel this way and I only have one seven month old baby. Because of her dads job I have to live in the south in the middle of nowhere, I don't have any friends.
    She only breast feeds and has only ever been away from me for one hour and I just feel like every time she cries I'm getting more and more worn down because its been 24 hours 7 days a week dependancy for seven months - around the clock - non stop.
    I hardly ever sleep even if she is sleeping because I know as soon as i close my eyes I will have to get up and look after her and it will annoy me if I'm comfortable, so I basically don't sit down.
    I wish I could hitch hike across the country home, just leave and never come back.
    But I can't - so heres to unhappiness, expectations and the human condition.

  • Just adopt her out if it really is that bad and get your tubes tied so you don't have to go through this misery again.

  • It's not that easy, you judgmental walking wound. Clearly you've never been there. I get that you're in need of healing and probably have felt unwanted on some level, but there is an obligation to parenting that you have no clue about, otherwise you would not reflect such simplicity and judgment in your comment.

  • I simply do NOT want to go there. So that's a no on getting a tubal ligation and repeating the cycle of misery? You're prob6right about the obligation of parenting. Cheers wino!

  • I'm a father of an 18 month old, and have been given an ultimatum by my wife: She wants 2 more kids or she's leaving to find a new partner (or adopt)... She's from a large family and wants our son to have siblings. I really want them both to be happy. Being a father has been amazing but I just don't feel strongly about more kids. Everyone around me (her family and mine) make out like having kids is the most important thing in life and how wonderful they are etc etc... But I just don't feel that way (I wish I could)... It makes me feel so bad, like I must be selfish or something 'wrong' with me.
    I'm scare we are going to break up over this. But I'm more scared of ending up resentful and trapped later on...

  • Do not do it. Listen to your inner voice - it knows so much and everyone else who is trying to convince you otherwise is playing with your guilt (whether they're aware of it or not)... Run away. Ultimatums result in resentment if you give in - they are a selfish, manipulative method of "communicating". You deserve the life you want, and so does she. Let her go.

  • Run! Take the out and run!

  • Don't do it. I knew my whole life that I didn't want kids. After we got married my husband changed his tune and after having many, many fights about it, I gave in. I got pregnant on the first try and, while I love my daughter, I wish I had never done it. I will never make this mistake again. I do all the work and he plays with her for about five minutes, then moved on to something else. My life is pretty much over. I wish I had never gotten married.

  • B***** h***. If being a parent is what he wanted let him take his responsibilities. It's easy not to hate children when you don't deal with them for more than an hour a day. Don't let him treat you as a mere. Split the parenting and take your freedom back. Your parenting wouldn't probably be so awful if you weren't left alone with it. And if all he wanted from you was offspring well... he got it, leave him with it and start a new life.

  • Give up your kid to adoption and get a divorce. Done.

  • Honestly, I think people want everyone else to have kids so they can be just as miserable as them.

  • This is 100% correct. Same with marriage. Only married people ask you "When are you going to get married" As they say, misery likes company

  • Some of us have good marriages. Especially those of us who don't f*** them up with kids.
    And I definitely don't feel the need to push any of my life choices on other people. Different strokes for different folks.

  • Not necessarily true with marriage. I love being married (childfree), though I never pry into other people's relationships or ask when someone is getting married. It's not for everyone and not all marriages are bad. I never though I would get married, never really wanted to or thought about it until my husband proposed. I said yes because he's more traditional, I knew that level of commitment was important to him him, and he's truly the love of my life. I will say getting married dramatically reduced my income taxes which was a phenomenal benefit. I also like that we're are legally considered family so I have say if emergencies arise. The couple who live next to us have been together for 17 years and he had a medical emergency, the hospital wouldn't talk to her, it was heart breaking. She had to wait until he regained consciousness to give consent before she could see him or get any status updates.

  • It will be hard at first, but leave her. You don"t want to get trapped. Good luck.

  • Do not have s** with this woman. That is emotional and sexual abuse. Your reproductive choices are not her's to make. If she wants to threaten you, imagine what kind of crap she will pull on your kid? She is gaslighting you. Make an escape plan, meet with a therapist and a lawyer.

  • Honestly, just run. take your kid and run. That's so f***** up. There's nothing wrong with you at all, youre not selfish for feeling that way. her giving you an ultimatum is sooo f***** up. she only sees you as a sperm donor anyway.

  • Her female privilege is toxic...If she does leave you she better not force you to pay for that kid...She can take it with her...

  • Run. Your wife is emotional manipulative.

  • If i were you id get out while ur responsible for only 1. I often think that if we had just 1 id still have some sanity. But having more than 1 (i have twins) is just nuts. You loose every bit of yourself. Please do what none of us have & take what happiness you have left and go!

  • Reading this makes me wonder how many (outwardly) happy parents out there are feeling true regret inside...

  • They won't admit it, fear of being labeled "terrible parents" we know they do. I pray my enemies have kids. LOL

  • Omg, that's f****** hilarious! I have an enemy at work pregnant with her first child. I hope she's stupid enough to make the same mistake twice! Stupid, selfish, vile woman!

  • Most likely, she will. She might miscarried or the kid will come out stupid. Just wait and see and smile or smirk. Eat popcorn. LOL

  • I think most do

  • I'd say 90% + The other 10 percent have a 2 week old baby and they still think it's cute.

  • How can a potato looks cute?

  • Probably a lot! But no one has the guts to say anything for fear of being seen as a bad person or losing everything. When the fact is everything is already lost.

  • Um to the writer of 2 posts down...this is a place to vent. We dont want hear about books, websites, etc. no s*** kids werent dropped on our door steps. We all are venting cuz we f***ed up. so go somewhere else with ur b.s.!

  • Those are your words. "We f***** up" haha

  • D reason why other parents dont tell u what f***ing pile of s**t life is after kids, is because they r so guilty n frustrated abt der decision dat they want to drag others in there n watch d fun...take revenge dat way...

  • Please use proper English. You are purposefully trying to sound uneducated.

  • Motherhood and fatherhood is a choosen decision for many of us at the exception of a few . Most of us know the functions of a parents and there are many websites,books ect. on what it is to be a parent and what to expect. Not saying theses feelings are wrong but it not like kids are magically dropped at our door steps

  • Not necessarily.

    It is prevalent in society to make everyone think that parenting is all rainbows and butterflies. When in reality it is not. You are made to feel that you are a terrible parent if you are not enjoying the whole experience and it is simply a taboo to talk about how you feel. Then the next generation have kids without knowing the truth and then the cycle continues!

    I think it is sad that these parent's only choice is to put this as a confession post online as they feel they can't speak up.

    I think you SHOULD speak up, s**** everyone else's opinions if they are being self righteous, your feelings matter. And I bet deep down they feel the same way too!

  • To add to my previous post...i mentioned waterskiing. I think about what it cost us to have these kids, just the IVF & hospital bills from the delivery alone was about $25,000. That could have bought us a really nice boat. So every time one of them cries, needs a diaper changed, makes a mess, has a meltdown, needs to go to the doctor, whatever, i think about how i could be on that boat waterskiing. I know im selfish as h*** for feeling this way. But this life i