I hate being a parent

I don't hate my kids, but I hate being a parent.

I hate not having anything even remotely resembling a social life. I hate changing diapers. I hate cleaning up after my kids. I hate driving some of them to school. I hate having to cook for them all the time. I hate listening to them fight, or cry, or beg for something. I hate having to take them to sports or activities so they're not bored. I hate having to keep watch over them when friends come over to play.

I hate being trapped in f****** broiling desert, backwards ass Arizona, just because a job pays well enough to support four kids and moving would mean working for about 1/2 the pay. I've wasted a third of my life in this f****** place because I can't afford to move because of these kids. I hate having to keep a close watch over my kids because I live in a f****** huge beige and cement city...the more people there are, the more sick f**** you gotta worry about taking kids.

I hate never being able to go anywhere new, see anything new, do anything new. School, meals, naps, sleep. I can't wait for them all to grow up and go away to college. Until then, I'm responsible for them. I'll be 52 when the last leave the house...I'd say half my life will be gone, and I'll have nothing but regrets.

The first kid was ok, I was 28 and figured I would make a good parent. The second got annoying by the time he turned 3. The third and fourth were definitely a mistake in judgement on my part. Should have just said "no f****** way" to the wife after the first two. There's times I can't stand the sound of their voices. A couple times I've even gone so far as to wear earplugs and ignore them for an hour or two.

I usually stay up late and deprive myself of hours of sleep, just because I know that the sooner I go to sleep, the sooner another day of dealing with my children will start for me. h***, I've gotta get up in 3 1/2 hours to take the older ones to school.

The brief moments of "oh, that's cute" are far overshadowed by the sheer level of s*** I hate about parenthood. Passing on my genes is not worth this. If I would have known I'd hate parenthood so much, I'd have gotten a vasectomy at 18.

And to top it all off, I don't drink alcohol. I never acquired a taste for it, and earlier in life had no desire to kill off brain or liver cells, nor give up any self-control. I think I'd like to learn to appreciate a good beer or well-crafted spirit, but I won't. How much more miserable would my life be if I let slip to the wife or others how much I regret almost all of my decisions of the past 18 years (moving to Arizona, having kids, and sometimes even including marriage)?

Why even bother typing this up? I feels a little better just to put it out there, and I know that nobody I know will see this or be able to connect this to me. I put on a pretty decent act as a responsible (and almost caring) parent. I've been living the lie for years.

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  • I just love you. Thank you for putting into words exactly how I feel.

  • Sad, I know. I feel like I am in prison awaiting death before waisting the rest of my potential and life doing non f****** stop never ending chores. I once had a life and s*** going for me n my art. I traveled and afforded my travels by selling my art. I feel my life has been stolen I'm out of options. My son's father had no respect for me or my dreams and decided he wanted a baby and threatened me ta the point where I was afraid to get abortion. I told him repeatedly that I didn't want ta have unprotected s** and get pregnant but he was abusive and ruined my life and body he beat me and almost murdered me while pregnant and look where I'm at now? All cause I finally decided ta try a relationship at 28 years of age. What a mistake. I'ts like he ran me over with a mac truck oh well won't trust another again. All I can do is chores chores chores while all my peers live their live's, I wait for death cause at least I won't have ta be constantly reminded of how my life was ripped up dreams down in flames potential wasted all because this pig for a human being entered my life shame on me I will never trust another grown human again in a relationship I'm so disgusted. And at least I won't have ta wake up everyday cause waking up to face another day of never ending chores is far less pleasant than not waking up at all. Sorry, I'm tired and just want this nightmare ta end-

  • My boys don't really appreciate anything I've done for them, which is a lot. I typically don't even get a "happy Mother's Day" or even a "Happy Birthday". It's really sad. They are so selfish and manipulative. You pay for everything, but they don't want your input or your rules. They claim to be "adults" but they will never be able to pay for their own car insurance or health insurance (these two bills combined in NJ will run about $10,000- $15,000/year). The way our economy is, we'll be lucky if they can leave at the age of 35. And I hate this generation's so-called "music". My kids blast it everytime they take a shower. It's full of foul language. it's horrible, repetitive, crap. It gives me a migraine and it plays loudly in every store at the mall too. I can't even shop in peace.

  • Anyone with a partner like this should know their kids are in danger and should take it seriously.

  • If you can afford to travel you know this is mostly an American issue. In other developed nations parents get more help, paid paternity & maternity leave, and mental health care. When I was in Georgia and Texas I saw parents like this all the time. I don't see them so upset like this and hating their kids in Canada and the Netherlands. As for me if I had a spouse like this I would say they need mental health treatment or I would leave for the safety of my children.

  • This is why stay at home dads are a bad idea

  • If you read through some of these posts many are moms too. Believe it or not, children are a challenge whether you have a vagina or not.

  • My cousin made a confession like this and we all pitched in and helped her out. Sometimes it's depression or feeling overwhelmed and you just need to reach out. She's doing much better now and loves her kids.

  • I love my kids but I hate the anxiety. I live in Maine where CPS is notoriously out of control. We have an apartment. I have been told/threatened that it is too small for kids and we need a house instead. I'm afraid to go out whenever any kids gets a bruise playing or is in a bad mood having tantrums because I am terrified to have someone call CPS on me and have them take my kids. It's never ending fear about this. People call for anything these days and many seem to think CPS is some kind of helpline or benevolent organization and don't realize the real harm false reports do to people. I have a friend whose parents lost her for six months as a child for smoking weed. What happened to her in foster care almost ruined her life. She is still in therapy. Being a parent means being fearful and often helpless. I wish I could afford to move to protect my kids from this threat.

  • This is why we aren't having more than 1 kid....The joys of being a parent, but not too much stress - we can take turns taking care of him, still have a social life, grandparents are willing to babysit one kid etc, still have money for trips and travel...and only go through each stage ONCE!

  • I'm glad I stumbled on this post. I totally agree, my kids have sucked the life out of me. I only hope they'll appreciate it someday but probably they won't. Ungrateful f******.

  • This is my life also. Its misery. Want my life back the way it use to be. Im living also a lie. I was against a child yet wife didnt think the same. I do hate everything that you do about parenthood. Reading this helps me just so i know im not the only parent faking a smile holding back anger hating my new life and not the only one out there feeling like this! Thank You for this post. I think there should be IRL support groups for parenthood!

  • If there was an IRL parenthood support group I would sure as shit not go. Think about what would be said there. they would be giving all these positive tips and tricks that just help exasperate the lie that being a parent can be fun. It would just turn into yet another thing on my calendar to deal with in addition to all the frigging soccer games, bake sales, dentist appointments and other shit I have to spend my time and money and life on that's for these little fuckers called kids.

  • I can relate to the frustrations of many here who are parents of young children, especially if both parents work and there are no family members around to help. I think American policies for parents, especially working parents, are horrendous. I grew up in an affluent country in Asia where governmental policies and family friendly social values mean parents have a lot of support. The income taxes citizens pay fund all the resources and there is an abundance of low-cost and high quality childcare options. It is also normal for grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, neighbors etc to help babysit. Many of my peers there also have (affordable) live in housekeepers/nannies. Consequently, they are more relaxed and it is not unusual for them to be able to get away sans kids for movies/trips overseas. No one judges them for taking time for themselves. I suspect many parents on this forum will feel a bit happier if they have more help and time to recharge their batteries.

  • Ugh- I sympathize. I write this reply after my 7 month old dumped my cold coffee all over me and the floor. Then after cleaning it up and getting the baby down for a nap; my 8 year old stands acting like a total invalid begging for food- because heaven forbid she do something for herself for once. Fine, got her breakfast sorted out.

    Pour myself a new coffee, cut up some fruit to eat- there's my 8 year old standing there staring at me begging for strawberries off my plate, then doesn't even eat them. Oh and wait- I think that's my a****** baby crying in the background, so much for my coffee....f*** I hate kids so much. You can't even have a second of peace and quiet!

  • I hate being a parent as well. my spouse decided not to take any birth control pills with out telling me and got pregnant. i feel like an dumb ass. i been tricked. I hate her so much. i love my child but being a parent sucks. I wasnt ready for this.

  • I know it's unexpected, but learn from this mistake. You should try to be a part of your child's life and I think one day you may be happy you have one. But If you are sure you want no more children, have a vasectomy. However, still use a condom to protect from STDs. This world is really about survival and trying to maintain your sanity. Good luck!

  • News flash ,we are all alone in this life,even im a billionaire with my own sperm bank having 10 thousands children all over the world,with their mums i will never get to know,the truth is that we are all alone. you know that every day,no matter how much you want to feel the desire of others on you,we all mean nothing. what had a point when you are young means nada later in life,childre will grow up one day,discover drinking and drugs and s**,look at their parents ,they do have a sense this life is f***** up,but we all take confort that when they will hit the real problems and divorces and all the pains and all the misery.wars.terorism,crimes and all the s*** in this world ,and the kid will come to you and ask you,if you knew that this life was so f***** up,why did you had me? what are you going to answer,ow yeah i had this f****** passion inst it ?

  • I relate to this on so many levels!! I hate parenthood!

  • This is how my aunt and uncle saw my sister and me. I'm certain now, and I knew it then. I started self harming at 9, wanted to run away since before then. Still struggle with suicidal thoughts as an adult because I feel worthless no matter what I do. "I love you," they said every day, and I don't doubt it. But it didn't help when I knew that my existence was such a problem for them.

    See the thing is, your kids won't be blind to your point of view for long. They'll know this is how you feel about them, they'll know that you see them as a burden. What that does to a child's self esteem is equivalent to mental abuse. I lived it and I feel sorry for your children.

    And I know that taking care of kids isn't easy, h***. I've had to take care of my sisters' children since I was 14, complete with changing diapers, having them not listen, being screamed at, kicked/hit, the works. You name it, I've lived it when it comes to kids, every single day. But the main thing I've realized is, my attitude and opinion of taking care of them is MY OWN CHOICE. They are JUST CHILDREN, they can't help being born, and they certainly aren't keeping you from your life on purpose. I'm not saying you have to enjoy every diaper change but I am saying maybe if you didn't try to view their existence as a problem, then you'd be happier than you are. No matter what your life situation is like, the grass is greener on the other side so there's no point in all this.

    Either they'll grow self esteem issues or they'll learn from your example and see other human beings as problems. I'm disgusted at the amount of negativity here and i hope, for their sakes, none of your children eventually find this thread. Because I have no doubt that most of you love your kids, but what happens when your kids themselves doubt it?

  • I understand where you're coming from, but at the same time if the kids did stumble upon this post, well maybe more children oughta learn that life is not all about having kids and that it's not always a fairytale after having kids maybe they will be more careful not to have kids themselves because nobody ever talks about how having children can be harmful to both parent and child depending on the situation. Your right about being treated as a burden, but it's also sad for the parents as well. Parents feel these feeling and it's not always a choice. I don't think most people choose to feel pain but even harder for parents when they are bottling up these feeling cause of course you don't want children ta feel like a burden. But parents are humans too, and it seems they almost lose the right ta be human and feel what they feel after having them. Gotta put on the fake smile for the kids and god forbid don't dwell on the truth that things just aren't going right in their own lives anymore. Statistics are like, outa this world for single parents achieving big dreams. Takes a real supermom. It's a challenge staying positive. Just saying.

  • You have it all wrong. Parents do love their kids that is WHY we are doing all this. We simply want a little appreciation, cooperation, and courtesy. This is not asking much. I never felt like my kids were a burden though I worked full time and finished college part time while caring for them. All I ever wanted was to hear: "Thanks mom!" "Love you mom!" or "I appreciate your help, mom". This is what my son told me today .." Don't talk to me for the rest of the week! You just make me too mad! " Why? because I want him to go to computer classes instead of cutting to go to a concert! By the way, he is now 21, has no job and I am footing the $20,000 bill for his computer school. He has already failed out of community college for skipping classes. So please, don't disrespect hard working parents.

  • I am a 26, almost 27 year old woman and I go back and forth. There are times when I feel like I would make a great mother and even smile at the thought. Those times are very rare and I know it's my body releasing chemicals which tells my brain that my "clock" is ticking and I should be pregnant by now. I was always uncomfortable around kids who are really unpredictable and the only one I was ever able to get along with is my little cousin who is extremely well behaved. I often get severe migraines and they usually happen when any of my "triggers" are set off such as, loud noises, strong fragrances, stress and my time of the month. When i am experiencing one of my migraines, rocking back and forth on my bed in extreme pain it is in that moment when I think "I wouldn't be able to do it" I wouldn't be able to care for an, infant, child or even a teenager like this. I have seen a neurologist and the pills help but caring for a kid while I'm puking every half an hour because my migraine hit it's peak.. no thanks.

  • You are correct in your thinking. Do not have kids. I also get migraines. One bit of advice- try birth control pills if you have not done so. This way you will be killing two birds with one stone. I figured out my biggest trigger is period week- my headaches are hormonal! Now my Dr. has me taking pills for 3 months before an "off" week. However, they are often triggered by the same things you mentioned- noise & perfumes. Good luck!

  • Don't have kids.

  • I think im prob the only mother who would admit out loud i hate kids.... I have a 3 year old and a 4 month old... I have no f****** life... No social life... Facebook and my phone is my way to the outside world. In laws are f****** traditional chinks... No f****** use... Straight out of china...o gosh... The things i go thru with them... I think about shooting them every single day... Or taking a soy sauce bottle and throwing them across their heads and say " beat that chinks!" children just take take take and never give back... While im feeding my 4 month old and i have the 3 year old yapping ahead im typing this. I have to spend every single day keeping both these anklebiters entertained... By the time they r 18 ill be in my 50s ..... What the h***!! Theres no more going clubbing...forget about the trance and techno music... Forget about going to bars looking at hot men.... Thats all down the f****** drain... I hate my f****** life with kids...
    I just got offered an amazing position n opportunity at my work...but only condition is i have to come back from my maternity leave right away.... I want to sooooovfucking badly but my useless husband and inlaws dont agree.... There goes my life again... I hate kids... I hate my life!

  • I don't think the problem is your kids. I think that you're just very immature.

  • I'm literally listening to my two month old cry right now as I'm typing bc I don't wanna deal with this f****** s*** anymore. I just want to be a dead beat and live for myself but I don't have the heart for it.

  • I am just so sad and disappointed.

  • Will never be me. when I was growing up all I did was open my eyes and watch everything...and all I could think was 'why should I join this cluster mess in this p*** pile'

  • I'm so sorry. Reading this makes me so glad I am childfree and an anti-natalist.

  • Lol, u r not alone! Marriage is the epitimy of dating...then kid(s). I just got a vasectomy after the first, only touching this hot stove once! Kid(s) f****** suck and are not worth the overwhelming burden! I'm considering enlisting in the military at 37yrs of age just to escape. I wish I got the procedure done also at age 18. For those that say blessing, u r f****** gluttons for torment!

  • Think the military will take me at 43?

  • Cant wait to go back to work tomorrow!

  • Lol same here bro!

  • I'm a father of two and i hate my f****** life, i stay up til 2-3 am every night even though i have to be up at 6am because its all my life is, s** is anoying because its on such a strict schedule its boring, there is no joy in life anymore, i love my wife and kids, but i wish i could just fast forward past the next ten years and still be 28....my wife has so much presure with social media but i know she feels worse because she had one before i knew her when she was 19.....i am unemployed because me and the wife have mental illness, i dont drive, i dont go out, i have no money for anything but my phone.....i hate being a parent, i had a s*** childhood and teenagehood, and then i has 3 years in my twenties when i felt truly alive....i had a lot of fun in those hree or four years and made them count, but in this place its impossible to have anything but regrets.....all day is nothing but yelling and arguing xchildren....my stepdaughter is nine and we just got her out of our bed two years ago, she still tries to get me to wipe her @$$ when its "mushy"......someone kill me now

  • I think we r all on the same boat. I hate waking up early and throughout the night feeding a newborn... I hate keeping my older one entertained so he doesnt kill the younger one. I hate not being able to go out and have my own time. When i take my kids to preschool and those early childhood centres... Other parents are like"awww your kids are sooo cute" im just thinking in my mind....damnnn stop faking it..my only time by myself is at night when i could finally take a s*** without having tag alongs in the bathroom...im so sick and tired of this s***. By the time they are 19 years old im already in my 50s fuckkkkkk this s***.. I hate my life..

  • It was worth waiting to age 50 to finally get freedom. If I could have fast forwarded my life to age 50. It would have been worth it. Even though I would have lost out on my young years. My son was a problem child from the age of 3. Hitting me. Throwing toys. Always wanting his own way, no matter what. As he grew older he got physically and verbally abusive. Had him in therapy for years. Nothing helped. Kicked him out when he was in his 20's. Good riddance. He moved in with a relative who feels sorry for him. He has a college education but never worked a day in his life. Good riddance to him.

  • I understand

  • My only free time is when I pretend to have to take a s*** and hide in the bathroom playing games on my ipad. I hate being a mother and a wife. I think about driving far away, changing my name and starting all over again at least 3 times day.

  • I'm pregnant and having constant mental breakdowns because I feel the same way, I know I made a mistake. The father and his mom are willing to take the baby. I could really do the thing you're thinking of, and with the baby young enough to not remember me. I'm really considering doing it, should I?

  • Yes. Absolutely!! Start running and never look back.

  • I also feel the same way I have three kids and I feel so overwhelmed with all the responsibly, I have no relationship with my wife it all revolves around kids

  • Why did you have 3 if you hated it so much?

  • I had a tubal ligation after the first.

  • I feel exact same way, but I am a Mom. You are Not Alone.

  • I am a mom but I hate my physically and verbally abusive son. I have nothing to do with him since he is an adult. I am so glad to be rid of him.

  • Me too, so glad to see another mum here! My 2 kids never stop screaming and demanding from me, it's awful. I just want to be by myself or just with my husband most of the time.

  • I love my son, I hate being a dad. I can't sleep in my own bed because he HAS to sleep with his mother (he's 16 months old) I have to wolf my food down because he can't stand seeing others eat, I don't get to go out anymore, only tv I get is pbs, I hate the crying, s***** diapers, it always seems like he's never happy, my relationship with my wife is near non existent. I once attempted suicide and nearly died, instead she revived me (I OD' on pills and whisky) she didn't tell me she loved me or that she'd miss me,she was concerned about not having extra hands to deal with our son. I've never been good with kids, I'm a lousy dad and I don't enjoy being around kids. I'm 40 and I have no desire to live

  • Get help for yourself and leave her. Cutting a cheque every month is better for your sanity.

  • Leave. You are screwed one way or another, so taking off will at least give you a chance to with yourself.

  • He made his bed, now he must lie in it. Don't let a fucking kid rule your life or marriage. Sucks balls but you gotta take charge.

  • Nonsense. He can still salvage what he can. It's foolish to continue a disaster just because "he's made his bed." It's ok to take your hand off a hot stove. Wise even.

  • Im glad to find this website to read stories about the misery of having kids. I have always hated kids since I could remember. Even as a high school student, I knew that I didn't want kids. I'm 28 and I still do not want kids and I'm pretty much the only person I know out of any of my friends and siblings that don't have kids. I hate going to family parties because my nieces and nephews are always running around screaming and being annoying. My brothers kids mistreat animals and I can't stand watching it. I live in Utah where it's normal for people to get married and pop out a kid or 2 by the time they're 25. I hate going to grocery stores and watching kids horseplay with one another down the Isle, especially when they don't pay attention and cut you off by running in front of you. I hate watching kids whine and beg their parents to buy them this buy them that. I hate watching my friends complain that they're always broke because baby food and diapers has added around $300 to their grocery bill and then an extra $300 or so for daycare. I feel like kids make you trapped they drain your energy, your bank account, your social life, etc. Saving money to go anywhere is probably impossible (unless you're a millionaire) and when you do save enough money for a vacation, kids will probably just make it miserable and not worth it with their constant whining. Don't get me wrong, I will socialize with peoples kids when they say hi to me, I'm not completely cold about it. I just don't see this is the life for me. My Dream is to travel and see places all over the world and having kids will get in the way of this. I do hope to get married one day, but I want to enjoy myself and my husband without annoying kids running around.

  • You're the smartest one for realizing this ahead of time. I too have never felt a connection to children. Whenever I was out w my friends at the beach or a restaurant I would move my seat if there were kids around. Then I thought I loved someone who said there was no reason to get married if you didn't want kids. Fast forward 5 years later I'm married with a 3 And 4 year old and miserable. The children both were surprises, Weren't planned. I hate every second of it and feel guilty as hell. Every second I'm around them I feel like I'm being tortured. The constant screaming and fighting or horseplay were I'm scared someone is gonna get hurt. The worst part is I'm even more scared for when this baby shit is done and they are out on the world. I hate being a nervous wreck. I hate not having any freedom. I regret everything about my life everyday and it's an awful way to live. I fantasize about the time when they are old enough that I can get a divorce and move to the city alone. I recently went back to work and it's the best thing I've ever done. People ask me on Monday how my weekend was, I say "being here is my weekend" I wish I could run away.

  • You need to do this, I wish I'd had this mind set before. I have 2 kids, they're 2 & 4 and they're shitty and mean and all they do is moan and fight.

  • Have you tried acting like a parent and disciplining your kids??

  • Stay to the plan, envy your wisdom!

  • Are you me lol?

  • Make sure you do what you like before getting married and having kids... I gave up my nursing education...i gave up travelling and im a mother of 2kids now and damnnnn i fucking hate this life... I know i will never be able to travel with freedom again... I look back at my pictures from japan...korea...germany...spain...and i cry everytime. I know there are no refunds with life... Sucks for me... So dont follow my path. I wish you all the best!

  • Why did you give up on your nursing education?

  • If your life is so bad then adopt the kid out. the little fuckers know when they're unwanted. I mean it.

  • I have a friend who recently had a baby and hes all she ever talks about. She posts 1-2 picture on social media of him everyday. Her baby is 7 months old and nothing has changed. It's always my baby this my baby that.

  • Yeah I definitely feel this way and I only have one seven month old baby. Because of her dads job I have to live in the south in the middle of nowhere, I don't have any friends.
    She only breast feeds and has only ever been away from me for one hour and I just feel like every time she cries I'm getting more and more worn down because its been 24 hours 7 days a week dependancy for seven months - around the clock - non stop.
    I hardly ever sleep even if she is sleeping because I know as soon as i close my eyes I will have to get up and look after her and it will annoy me if I'm comfortable, so I basically don't sit down.
    I wish I could hitch hike across the country home, just leave and never come back.
    But I can't - so heres to unhappiness, expectations and the human condition.

  • Just adopt her out if it really is that bad and get your tubes tied so you don't have to go through this misery again.

  • I'm a father of an 18 month old, and have been given an ultimatum by my wife: She wants 2 more kids or she's leaving to find a new partner (or adopt)... She's from a large family and wants our son to have siblings. I really want them both to be happy. Being a father has been amazing but I just don't feel strongly about more kids. Everyone around me (her family and mine) make out like having kids is the most important thing in life and how wonderful they are etc etc... But I just don't feel that way (I wish I could)... It makes me feel so bad, like I must be selfish or something 'wrong' with me.
    I'm scare we are going to break up over this. But I'm more scared of ending up resentful and trapped later on...

  • Run! Take the out and run!

  • Don't do it. I knew my whole life that I didn't want kids. After we got married my husband changed his tune and after having many, many fights about it, I gave in. I got pregnant on the first try and, while I love my daughter, I wish I had never done it. I will never make this mistake again. I do all the work and he plays with her for about five minutes, then moved on to something else. My life is pretty much over. I wish I had never gotten married.

  • Give up your kid to adoption and get a divorce. Done.

  • Honestly, I think people want everyone else to have kids so they can be just as miserable as them.

  • This is 100% correct. Same with marriage. Only married people ask you "When are you going to get married" As they say, misery likes company

  • It will be hard at first, but leave her. You don"t want to get trapped. Good luck.

  • Do not have sex with this woman. That is emotional and sexual abuse. Your reproductive choices are not her's to make. If she wants to threaten you, imagine what kind of crap she will pull on your kid? She is gaslighting you. Make an escape plan, meet with a therapist and a lawyer.

  • Honestly, just run. take your kid and run. That's so fucked up. There's nothing wrong with you at all, youre not selfish for feeling that way. her giving you an ultimatum is sooo fucked up. she only sees you as a sperm donor anyway.

  • Her female privilege is toxic...If she does leave you she better not force you to pay for that kid...She can take it with her...

  • Run. Your wife is emotional manipulative.

  • If i were you id get out while ur responsible for only 1. I often think that if we had just 1 id still have some sanity. But having more than 1 (i have twins) is just nuts. You loose every bit of yourself. Please do what none of us have & take what happiness you have left and go!

  • Reading this makes me wonder how many (outwardly) happy parents out there are feeling true regret inside...

  • I'd say 90% + The other 10 percent have a 2 week old baby and they still think it's cute.

  • Probably a lot! But no one has the guts to say anything for fear of being seen as a bad person or losing everything. When the fact is everything is already lost.

  • Um to the writer of 2 posts down...this is a place to vent. We dont want hear about books, websites, etc. no s*** kids werent dropped on our door steps. We all are venting cuz we f***ed up. so go somewhere else with ur b.s.!

  • D reason why other parents dont tell u what f***ing pile of s**t life is after kids, is because they r so guilty n frustrated abt der decision dat they want to drag others in there n watch d fun...take revenge dat way...

  • Please use proper English. You are purposefully trying to sound uneducated.

  • Motherhood and fatherhood is a choosen decision for many of us at the exception of a few . Most of us know the functions of a parents and there are many websites,books ect. on what it is to be a parent and what to expect. Not saying theses feelings are wrong but it not like kids are magically dropped at our door steps

  • Not necessarily. It is prevalent in society to make everyone think that parenting is all rainbows and butterflies. When in reality it is not. You are made to feel that you are a terrible parent if you are not enjoying the whole experience and it is simply a taboo to talk about how you feel. Then the next generation have kids without knowing the truth and then the cycle continues! I think it is sad that these parent's only choice is to put this as a confession post online as they feel they can't speak up. I think you SHOULD speak up, screw everyone else's opinions if they are being self righteous, your feelings matter. And I bet deep down they feel the same way too!

  • To add to my previous post...i mentioned waterskiing. I think about what it cost us to have these kids, just the IVF & hospital bills from the delivery alone was about $25,000. That could have bought us a really nice boat. So every time one of them cries, needs a diaper changed, makes a mess, has a meltdown, needs to go to the doctor, whatever, i think about how i could be on that boat waterskiing. I know im selfish as h*** for feeling this way. But this life is not for me. I f***ed up big time & im only 2 yrs into this minimum 18 yr prison sentence.

  • How is this rewarding? I just brought my mids down to give them breakfast and i turn around and one of them stuck his hand in his diaper & it was covered in s***. Yay, i get to chase them around and clean up after them all wknd. Wth did i do to myself? I hate every moment of this!!! Why arent people honest when they talk about having kids? Everyone around me said its wonderful, rewarding, best thing ill ever do, ill be such a great dad... BULLS***! I wanna tell each & every one of them to go f*** off! But i only have myself to blame for not following my gut. I could be on a boat right now waterskiing. But no, gotta deal with my stupid decision.

  • Absolutely everything you typed is how I feel. I hate being a mother. HATE IT. I detest it so much that I'd give anything to turn back time and never have my two children. I resent my husband for pressuring me to get married 8 years ago. I resent him for being older than I am....he got to experience everything I never did. We got married two years after I finished college and I stuck around with his dumbass all because I as too young and naive to see my potential. Now, I'm stuck in BFE with a man I absolutely have zero sexual desire to be with (believe me, I still desire s**, just not with him), stuck being a mom to two whiny turds, all for what? This is absolute misery. I think about just walking out on them everyday.

  • Do it! You deserve better. I feel so sad for people in these situations.

  • Same.

  • I'm a single mother of two. I almost cried reading this because it was like someone reading my exact thoughts minus the vasectomy part. I love my kids I really do but I can't stand what misery my life is. I HATE being a parent. I hate being broke and low income , I hate having no social life, I hate what the pregnancies did to my once tight and coveted body, I hate that I haven't had a relationship in 7 yrs and probably won't for another 10 because I won't allow any other men around my children. Arghhhh
    f*** PARENTHOOD!!!!

  • Had the most wonderful dream last night! Then I woke up. Ugh.

  • Love how fathers day starts with the kids crying. Who thought of this day? Ya, lets make a day to recognize how crappy fatherhood is! Lets recognize how much life has been sucked away!

  • Funny - I remember Father's Day growing up as "Happy Father's Day!" and then mum took us out so dad could have the day to himself. lol I guess she did it right.

  • Just woke up &...SOB it wasnt a nightmare!

  • & now we get to go to my brothers house this afternnon for one of his kids bdays & pretend everything is wonderful. Cant take this!!!

  • The only me time i get is after they go to bed. & im so friggin tired by then i dont want to do anything. I make a cocktail & fall asleep. B4 i know it, its morning again. Weekends are the worst. I actually look forward to mondays so i can go to work. Great...time to change another f'ing diaper. My life is sh*t! Literally.

  • Same here I love work now!

  • He's a special needs kid so he can't do self care and requires occupational therapy, physical therapy, and speech therapy almost everyday. He has sensory integration disorder as well so that makes it even more frustrating. I resent him most of the time but I try not to show it because I know all of this is my fault and not his. I keep hoping it will get easier. Everyone tells me it does and that these feeling are normal but I've never told anyone that I want to leave him. That I hate him. That I don't want to be a mom. That I hate myself for that. Also, I really hate the people who say they love being parents. I've never really believed these people. It's like are they lying to me or trying to convince themselves that their lives aren't s***?? Or maybe they just never had a life before kids or maybe their only aspiration in life was to be a parent?? Idk.

  • I hate my special needs step kids. I chose this life and every day I regret it. Every single day. I resent them so much but I resent their mother and father even more for spoiling the crap out of them because of their own guilt. Now I'm stuck with two whiny, bratty tennagers that cannot ever be unsupervised and constantly wear me down with their meltdowns and tantrums.

  • All of these comments are so true. My pregnancy was not planned so maybe that's why I hate being a mother. I never wanted to be a mom but fell pregnant and felt abortion was not a moral option and was pressured by my family into not adopting either. I wasn't young when I had my son. I was 30. He's 4 now. At first I loved motherhood and I had an easy pregnancy compared to the horror stories I've heard from others so I'm not sure when exactly or why exactly I feel this way. It's just that I'm the one responsible for all his stuff and it just never ends. He makes cosntant ridiculous demands, cries about the stupidest stuff, is noisy as f*** all day long, he ruins everything I have including my $3500 refrigerator that he dented a couple days after it was delivered. He puts sticky stuff in my Louie Vuitton. He never listens and that bugs me because I hate repeating myself. He's really aggressive and will randomly throw things, bang things on things or things will hit me so I can never fully relax and let my guard down. He's mean to my dog. It takes forever to get anything done because I have to get him ready and beg him to cooperate. Sometimes I hate him. I look at 2 of my closest friends who are single and travel the world. They have great careers and have the same college degree as myself. Their lives are amazing. That's the life I was supposed to have and was working towards but I know that I can't have it because I have to raise my son. By the time he's out of my house it will be too late. I've tried having more me time by going to the gym and having someone watch him while I go or bringing him to the gym daycare. But when I'm done I still have to go deal with him.

  • Having kids seriously feels like I was just sentenced to 20 years in the state pen. At least in jail you can have some time to yourself without screaming kids. As I sit on my back porch and type this, out of the corner of my eye, I'm watching my son dig his shovel into the sand box and throw sand on our dog. Great. Guess I gotta cut this short to deal with this s*** now.

  • Lol, ball bust!

  • At first when my son was born, I was very joyful. It was a surreal experience for me. I lost my first son because of a genetic problem on my wife's side, but I was thankful my next born was healthy. But now my son is two..ugh! It's a living h***. Tantrums and a strong willed attitude. I was surprised today my son was crying b***** murder when I brought him into the lake with me for a dip. When I was his age, I liked the water. I keep reminding myself that one day he will grow up and be out on his own. Twos and threes are the worst I hear. (how bout those teens, huh?). I realized today that I do not like kids. I have positive moments as a parent but as far as dealing with kids stuff, whining, crying, fighting, tantrums, dealing with in-laws, and teachers. I probably should have got the vasectomy when I was in the Air Force. I'm certain I'll get through this someway somehow. So will you guys.

  • You made another one after the first one died of genetic issue? That's beyond selfish

  • 430 in the f*****g & one of my slmost 2 yr old twins is up crying. When does this s**t end!!!!

  • I dont understand how the human race has survived. Parenting is the most horrible experience ever! If i could go back & change it all i would in a second. My kids are great but they deserve so much better. Maybe i should just leave.

  • I feel exactly the same!!! & to add to the misery, havent had s** with my wife since september, but who's counting right? Have thought about cheating but cant do that to her no matter how much i resent her. Keep strong i guess.

  • I´m a girl, 23 y/o, and childless. I apologize in advance if it annoys anyone to have a childless person commenting on here

    I just want to thank everyone who comments for reassuring my long lived suspition that i will never want kids.

    I remember being very very young, and I didn´t fear being a mother, but I feared being pregnant. Very early on I told my mum that I wish boys could get pregnant because I sure as h*** wouldn´t want to. Looking back, if I had heard my 6 year old self saying this, I would have just thought "this is normal, you are young, it´s normal to be scared of such a strenous thing as being pregnant". (by the way sorry if my english sucks). However this feeling hasn´t changed, i can´t imagine being pregnant, it freaks me out, not because of the pain, it just seems like such a foreign thing to me. I have even suspected of having a gender identity problem because whenever I think of motherhood, or pregnancy, or when I see a pregnant lady, it´s almost as if I forget that I´m a woman just like them. its weird to explain but it´s as if they´re another species. and then I remember, wow, I have a funcitoning uterus, I could get pregnant too. It´s weird.

  • You are so lucky to know this before you made the mistake of having a child. My best to you!

  • I felt the same way about pregnancy, the idea of something growing inside me wigged me out but I have a son, now 11. Don't let all this gender stuff mess with your head, WE ALL have similar thoughts, but instinct does kick in, it's just separate from your thoughts so you think it's unnatural But not all of it, motherhood/ parenthood is one of the most thankless jobs ever. I love my son but hate parenting and I am vocal about it. Can't say that's helpful, but here I am. To this moment I still have fleeting thoughts of running away, especially post divorce and now my offspring shares traits of the other one....it's a double whammy. All I do is count down the years.... Nothing about motherhood/parenting ever came natural to me

  • Same here. All these posts are why I knew I didn't want kids.

  • (part 2) Anyway thats beside the point. I remember when I was 6 and said that, I thought of having kids as "the thing to do". Like almost a life obligation. An inevitable fate. And Im now realizing that a lot of people don´t realize that this is false until its too late. Thankfully, after few years of beliving I would eventually have kids only to please my parents because they would sometimes mention how they would love to be grandparents one day, I matured enough to realize that this is no reason to have kids, and that I simply have the freedom to not have them. Crazy, I know. I still felt guilt for a couple of years and remember asking my older brother if he would ever want kids, hoping he would say yes so that my parents would be grandparents one day without me having to give them this dream. I was very sad that he said "i don´t know yet". Later on I confessed to my parents that they might never be grandparents and they laughed at how far off I was. I mean, would they enjoy it? Yes. Will they feel like they are missing out on something if neither of us have kids? No. They want me and my brother to have happy lives. Funnily enough, a couple years after this talk, my own mother now thinks that she wouldnt like to be a grandmother because while she enoyed being a mother, she has grown into hating kids, and so she doesnt mind the chances of never having a new baby in the family. She´s a middle school teacher and the little brats she deals with every day definitely made her understand why people dont have kids.

  • All my life people have told me that I will change my mind eventually. and yes im still young (23), but my mind hasnt been changed even a little bit and the more I grow and mature, the less I believe I could ever go through such a persnoality change. My mum says maternal instict will kick-in at around 30 as it did for her and I might not be able to ignore it. God I hope that doesn´t happen because I legitimately believe that maternal instinct is in our human nature, and that it could ne enough to make me believe I want kids, but I also believe I would regret it later on.

  • That instinct is REAL. It kicked in for me at around 28 yrs of age. Having never wanting kids, all of a sudden, I was under some kind f baby-craving spell. I could tell it was just hormonal. It lasted about a year or so and then disappeared. Just stay strong and let time run its course to avoid making a mistake.

  • You're so damn right it's not even funny. It did hit me, too, around my 30, I was making lots of money by then and I still remember the exact point of the street I was at when I considered having a kid. And then, the responsibility of the whole thing, which would last until my very last day in this frigging world, hit me even harder and I said "no, thanks, I don't want to get in somewhere I cannot get out from". And to this day, the only thing which has changed is that I am happier and happier about the decision I made. When I see mi friends' kids my first thought is "thank you God, for sparing me this s***".

  • Very smart of you to stick through the hormonal feelings without giving in to the urge to become pregnant. I wish I had been so smart. My childrearing years are over. I am in my 50's. So at least I can enjoy my life now.

  • Smart woman! I used to say "marriage and children are overrated". Now I'm 23, married, having a almost 2 year old and HATING MY LIFE! I love my husband and son. I do! I just hate the dependence that comes with being a parent. I can't just go tanning at the pool for an hour, or have a job interview at whatever time I want to cause he's off for work and who's there to watch the kid? I just moved to this city here from a different country so I don't know anyone. So I'm stuck in this apartment (no own car yet) with the kid all day long unless we decide to go grocery shopping or to the playground. Yay! I feel like my life is over and others my age have made the better choice. They make tons of money, travel, buy whatever they want because all they gotta keep in mind when it comes to spending money is themselves. I haven't had my nails done in over 1.5 years!! I used to go every 3 weeks.

  • If I could turn back time I wouldn't do it!!

  • I'm with you. The worst decision i ever made was telling her she could go off the pill. If I had a button i could push and go back x amount of years ago, I couldn't push it fast enough.

  • I've been considering leaving my wife, who makes all the money for the household, and living in a constant struggle, just so once a week I could be child free. She travels so much, I know what it's like to be on for a week, alone, but when she's back, I'm still at least half on... I want to be able to turn parenting off when she's back.

  • Even if you leave your wife and abandon your child, you will never be childfree. That ship sailed when the sperm hit the egg.

  • Once you have a child,you are never childfree is true for most people. Which is sad. I had a son but now I am childfree. Thats because my son has been so physically and verbally abusive to me that I have disowned him. If he ever shows up at my door, I will call the police, have him arrested and press charges against him.

  • I only have one child but the girl I married has two from a previous marriage. We share them week on week off with their dad. I love my wife and daughter but I f&*#* hate her kids. Little ungrateful, whiny, spoiled, piles of crap. I look forward to the peace and quiet our house is for the week they aren't here. As soon as they arrive its instant drama and annoyance. Truthfully my life would be 100 times better if it were just my wife and four year old daughter. The two older ones do nothing but cost money, whine, make messes, and make annoying noises with their face. Seeing them makes me cringe. I've gotten good at putting on the act but holy h*** they make me want to shoot myself. I don't know what to do because as a wife I couldn't haven't gotten better. Beautiful, motivated, caring, and we've always had great chemistry. But her kids are the most obnoxious little S%$6 heads I've ever met. Stick it out or leave because of the kids?

  • Probably they're like that because of the dad. Your wife isn't like that and your own child. It does sound like a shitshow but soon the piles of crap will be older and not bothering you as much.

  • I just want to thank you all for confirming my plan of never getting pregnant. I'm 21 years old, I can't stand majority of children near me. I have 3 siblings, all adult by now. I can see the toll it has taken on my parents. I know I hadn't the choice whether to be born or not, but I still feel guilty. And yes, it'll probably sound selfish as h***, but I don't want to go through that too. I want to give my parents everything I'll be able to (they're excellent human beings, they deserve that), except grandchildren.

  • I know how your all feel. I don't enjoy this at all...I never have.

  • Well, here is a different approach. Try looking at it from this perspective.

    http://jtamayowrites.tumblr.com/post/143903328591/why-i-hate-being-a-parent

  • Thanks I needed that

  • I'm a mother and I feel awful that I agree with you, but I feel the same way.

  • As I sit here in a rare moment of silence left behind after my wife has taken the whiny 1 year old and annoying 4 year old out for the day. Ive finally given in and started trawling the internet in the hopes of finding like-minded dads who hate their lives as much as i do.
    Dont get me wrong, i really want to enjoy it, i really want to be a good dad but its impossible to muster the enthusiasm and sentimentality required when everything my kids do(apart from the extremely rare 'cute' moments) p****s me off!
    You've covered pretty much everything I hate about it so I wont go on to list them but i do want to mention the 2 chief emotions i feel on a daily basis:
    1. Guilt - This is pretty obvious. Every child surely deserves a doting dad don't they? So i feel s***** when I cant provide that when all I can think about is a way out of this pit i've dug for myself!
    2. Envy - I feel this toward 2 sets of people. The first and probably most obvious are the people who dont have kids. Holy f**k what i would do to be able to make plans on a whim. To go and get drunk when i want without fear of judgemental repurcussions! Ive always wanted to visit Rome. Imagine taking kids to Rome? It would be disastrous!
    The second set of people im envious of are the Dads who enjoy parenting! I mean how the h*** do you do that you freaks of nature?? Please part with your knowledge for the sake of my family!! They were surely mothers in a previous life as they seem to have that natural Paternal instinct.
    Anyway thats enough from me I just needed to vent quickly before I go shopping to fulfil my legal obligation to feed little ungrateful mouths...

  • Rome is beautiful- you should go. I took my kids, I had to bribe the oldest and drug the youngest. Then I would drink a bottle of wine for lunch just to get through the sightseeing without wanting to drop them off at the closet fire station. By the way- my husband is like the second set of people you envy, a real manny poppins. I suppose I shouldn't complain having a guy who wants to be involved but I am filled with regrets- children are awful.

  • Oh my god I laughed so hard with this answer, thank you for that, and also thank you for expressing exactly how i feel (even though i dont have kids myself, im still 21 years old ´but i know i will probably never want to and i hope it never happens on accident).

  • Hurry and get fixed--either vasectomy or tubal ligation so that doesn"t happen to you. Good luck.

  • I just want to say. Thank you everyone for sharing. I just found this site today. It has been so healing to share how I feel. Especially the anger. I wish all of you--either with or without kids the very best. My heart goes out to all of you who are struggling with childrearing. Thanks everyone for being so honest.

  • So true... my horrible ex wife cheated on me and moved on in her life and left me with are kid... she hated being a parent and instead of sucking it up like me she ditched out on it and left me and my mom to raise her ( im 33 and kids 8 )... horrible woman comes around once every other weekend for 6 hrs to play mom i hate that woman and i hate raising a kid and to top it off by myself!! Everyone says its so much happiness but i call complete bs everyone that i know that doesnt have kids has good relationships ans are happy and do stuff... seems like soon as kids come in picture relationship goes to s***. Worst decision ever and got 10 more years to put on happy face and do best i can.

  • That must be the worst I'm so sorry you have to do this alone. stay strong bro

  • I feel so much better after reading some of these posts. Like everyone else in here, I loath being a parent. I however will skip the "I love my kid, but...."disclaimer that adorned most I read. I don't care if hating my kid puts me on the express train to h***. It's the worst thing that's ever happened to me. It's literealy ruined my life. I have no way out of this and I don't know how people just leave their kids. I have about zero people to talk to about how I feel. Especially my kids mom. Wich makes me resent her too, thus adding to the situation. I keep thinking about how long I have to live this way. It's like accepting ones life is over. I have done everything I can think of to try and cope with the way being a parent has stripped me of my life. I have gone through all the vices. Drugs, alcohol, having affairs, Amazon prime, all of it. Nothing makes it better. Sometimes I see those parents with multiple kids that you can tell were just made for raising children. I see them all happy with their kid carriers and their well prepped diaper bags. I see them and I want to go tell them what awful people they are for making it appear like they are ok with how awful their lives are. I think I will be back here to vent on a regular basis. We are all in this together.

  • I just wish someone would have warned me, I tell people to think long and hard before they decide to have children I don't want anyone to be as miserable as me. I rarely post anything about my kids on Facebook ( like other moms who post 50 pics a day) because I would be lying to myself. I have no one to talk to, I can't tell their dad that I regret having kids because he'll judge me. Kids are miserable, why didnt anyone tell me this?? Why do people go around acting like kids are what make life enjoyable? Why?!?! Why are people so happy about showing you pics of their kids in the first five minutes that they meet you. The worst part of it all is that I love them so much so it's impossible to run away, im-fucking-possible. I can't even remember the last time I was happy, truly happy. Or the last time I've had fun and I'm only 23, the only thing that keeps me going is that at least I'll only be 41 when they're (I have twins) 18 and can start living my life again.

  • Good luck to you. Its like being in prison for years but it will be over. Putting up with a nasty,abusive kid, teenage temper tantrums if he didn't get his way all the time. Dragging him to therapists. It was sickening. Seemed like it would never end. But one day I turned 50. He was 18. My responsibility to him was over. It seemed like a long prison sentence. But I survived it. You'll survive it too. Even though it is a long time. You have your freedom to look forward to. And you have supportive friends on this site to share your feelings with.

  • I'm a mother of 2 and feel the same way. I love my kids but i hate being a parent.I hate this. I wish there was a do over button. A life with no kids.

  • Me too! I don't enjoy this at all. I have days when even having to listen to their stories irritates me. I love them and would kill someone if they hurt them but I don't want to do this anymore. I would never of had children if I knew I'd feel like this.

  • I agree, deeply. I've nearly reached the point of suicide. Im so unhappy, that the wife and kids would almost certainly be better off with the life insurance payment so they can move on and not have to experience my absolute despair and discust over being a husband and father.

  • They wouldn't get insurance if you did that. Seek help

  • I am woman and I F***ING Hate every second of it. Children are so depressing. You can teach them, and love them, and care so much and they don't give a S***. I HATE WITH ALL MY SOUL BEING A F***ING PARENT

  • It is the worst job ever? Just the other day I cried because I was feeding my almost 2 year old and he threw a spoon at my face and it hurt. I didn't cry because it hurt I cried because of all the shit I do for them and this is the thanks I get and I know it just gets worse from here. FML.

  • As a former mother, I really feel for you. I say "former mother" because I disowned my abusive son when he turned 18. Kids in today's society are so unappreciative. They just want more and more.

  • Can I love that a thousand times? It is a thankless job!

  • Omg I feel the same way

  • Being a dad is not what I had expected at all. Sometimes i regret the decision to have a baby after gaining a step- daughter. I wanted to have a family for the longest time and then when i finally got it, i became a huge a****** again. During the daytime I can handle my kids crying and asking for things, but nighttime is a whole other story. I love my kids with everything i have and I think i'm a good provider, but they both get on my nerves soooooo bad that i lose my temper to the point of cussing them and the wife too. I'll make the best of it i guess until they both move away

  • I am soo happy there is a site like this I can't stand my kids all they do is make a mess .... they call me for everything I have no social life...... I seriously want to punch every person who said this would be fun it's not it's hard and they r anyoin .... I will make sure they don't have kids until they are 50 ...... geezer louis

  • Nailed it.

    You're in your prime. You're finally enjoying your life and the place you've found in the world, the people you've surrounded yourself with, the interests and passions that you've discovered. Maybe it's travelling the world, maybe it's a hobby that excites your soul, maybe it's a career that fulfils you and gives you a sense of purpose. Whatever it is, you're happy, successful, content.

    And everyone in your life is telling you to give it up. To take your energy out of your own life and devote it to another's. To stop being so 'selfish'.

    They never tell you the downsides, not truthfully. They use euphemisms like "discomfort" to describe the horrors of childbirth, or "unsettled" for a screaming banshee of a child, or "a little sacrifice" when you're giving up everything that brought you happiness. And then they flat-out lie and say that it's all worth it. For the joy. For the love. For the beauty and magic of parenthood.

    Here's the thing: having a child IS totally worth it ... to everyone else. Your family and friends get to 'ooh' and 'aah' at the cute little baby, to hold it and make stupid baby noises at it. Even your acquaintances and work colleagues get to look at baby photos and say 'awww' and give you well-meaning but utterly worthless advice so they can feel like kindly parental influences in your life.

    And it's totally worth it to them because none of them have to pay for it. Even the ones who have children - they know better than anyone else that the best kind of baby is the one you can give back.

  • "the best kind of baby is the one you can give back." <--- Fuck yes....

  • People kept telling me "Yeah it's a lot of sacrifice, but it's so worth it!"
    I want to kill every single person who ever said that to me one by one.

    This is not a homicidal rant. I'm not going to kill anyone. I love my daughter and I love my family and friends... There's just a few liars out there I wish were dead right now for trying to convince me about "the joys of parenting".

    Sometimes I wonder how humans have continued to infect this planet for so long... do people HONESTLY enjoy this? or are they lying to themselves and others... sheep maybe... too guilty to admit they f****** hate being a parent??

    I was stopped at a stop light the other day and there was a girl with her boyfriend, perhaps her fiancee or maybe even husband. They were young and driving a 2 door so I don't imagine they have kids. Both our windows were down so he could hear my baby crying. He looked over at my expressionless face, and I shook my head to him and mouthed "don't do it". He understood and nodded. I actually feel like I saved someone's life.

  • I love the newborn stage though. So cute and squishy. I could however do without the part where I had to literally push 8 lbs out of my vajayjay or had it sliced out in a major abdominal surgical procedure. But that's another rant for another day, yes? I don't love the rest of childrearing. Once they start with the talking it all goes downhill for me.

  • "Sometimes I wonder how humans have continued to infect this planet for so long... do people HONESTLY enjoy this? or are they lying to themselves and others... sheep maybe... too guilty to admit they f****** hate being a parent?? " Here's my theory, we have continued to infect the planet for so long, not because the majority of parents enjoy it, but because of society's perpetuation of the Life Script ™ - Grow up, get married, have kids and if you try and live any other way, you're doing it wrong. This includes the lies perpetuated by parents to get others to essentially buy into their misery. Sure, there are some people out there that are perfectly happy being parents but they have usually given it more consideration and everything that goes into it. We, as humans, continue to fall for the lies seen through rose colored glasses that it's all kodak moments and that kids crap glittery rainbows and are all smiles. Once the reality hits of shitty smelly diapers, throw up, crying, whining, late night feedings and sleep deprivation it's already too late. This is perpetuated with things like "Oh it's different when it's your own" - yeah, you can't give it back ! "Oh, you don't want kids? what's wrong with you? why?" There's nothing wrong with me, I just don't and really it's none of your business. "You'll change your mind." Yeah, nope hot happening. If you haven't picked up on it by now from my responses to the above phrases, I am childfree, by choice. I have seen through all of this and have made the decision that I am in no place to have a child - ever. Got myself sterilized last year on December 19th.

  • Wow. Just do everyone a favor and end it all now, seriously. Your "homicidal rant" can end with you. Clearly you are the most worthless piece of shit imaginable - please contact social services and let someone with a shred of a soul take your children.

  • Not everyone does things or thinks like you. You've got a lot of growing up to do.

  • I tell ALL my guy friends to "pull out, its not worth it"... I am a father of 3 and have full custody. I hate every second of my life with them. I NEVER wanted kids and demanded their mom (now my ex wife) use birth control. She lied to me, saying she was taking it and wasnt. Not i have the kids i never wanted, a life i never wanted, and bills i never wanted, and all i want to do now is leave them or die. I am not cut out to a parent. I hate my life and my kids....

  • Why didn't you nope the fuck out after you got oopsed into the first?

  • You just made me guffaw out loud, while I sit in my home office, door locked to keep the screaming/whining/sick kid out, mainlining teddy grahams like I'm doing lines of coke off my macbook...ah, the life of a regretful parent.

  • Are you for real?? Your child is sick, and you're completely ignoring him/her?? This board is full of the most mentally ill, messed up pieces of garbage I have ever seen in my life. Have you even considered what you are doing to your children? The hurt, the devastation, the complete lack of empathy you are showing them? This makes me weep for humanity.

  • Fuck you.

  • Ooh, what an impressive and intellectual retort!

  • Yet effective.

  • Dude, I think you nailed it. I learned only after 13 years of being married and 3 kids I have no right being involved in either, nor do I have the will or want to anymore. Counseling sorted me right out, and let me see the who and waht of me, and it isn't in the position of husband and father. I know what you mean about the first, second then the third kid coming, I was burnt the F out after the second one. Tired of everything you mentioned in this post. You are not alone.

  • I hate parenting, too. I love my children with my whole being but it's a paradox that I can also hate them so much. Everyday is a blur, a struggle. There is no end to the chores, the errands, the bills. No rest for the weary.

    I think all our hatred with parenting has a lot to do with how families are set up these days. Just mom and dad, and no extended family. We're in the same boat.

    But doesn't it take a village to raise a child? When I was little we lived with aunts and uncles and cousins and they all took turns caring for the little ones (I had my fair share, too, caring for my younger cousins, nieces and nephews). This way the parents regularly had breaks and breathing space from the chaos of having kids.

    People in those days shared the responsibilities of parenthood. Now we've isolated ourselves and our children and are going insane from having to do it all. We were never meant to do it all.

  • So true. Growing up I had cousins aunts uncles grannies grandpas always around too. Both sets of my grandparents were always around and their doors were open to all of us grandkids every weekend. But it seems Grandparents these days are all like "sure I'll help. I can schedule to take one kid, not both, between the hours of noon and three every other Saturday. And don't be late to come pick her up because I have to get to bingo at 4. Your welcome ". Assholes

  • I absolutely agree with you. I hadn't even gotten my life back together before I had a child. I have five siblings (FIVE) and 2 uncaring abusive parents. My daughter was a surprise and I somehow thought that the very first grandbaby (I was the oldest) would at least put a little love into my family....but it didn't. They are states away and pretty much disowned my daughter the same way they disowned me. Don't get me wrong though, my husband is super supportive and even helps me cook and clean, we are gamers and try to make time to play together but The most miserable thing is that we have TWO friends (of over 15 years) and they live 900 miles away from us. Their jobs wouldn't even let them have days off to come see the birth of my daughter...and my husband only gets enough vacation days to go down twice...maybe three times a year. I'm a stay at home mom and I love my daughter, but I hate being alone. It tears you up, you end up yelling at your child for the smallest things and then you just end up crying yourself to sleep every night. It really DOES take a village to raise a child but what if you have no village? What you have literally no one? Not even a friend's shoulder to cry on when things are at their absolute worst? I wish I had waited longer to have a child. I really hate all the lonliness that comes with being a parent. :'(

  • I'm a mother of twins and 2 others that are older...and don't think they help just make more problems...my husbands works 12hr days I work 7 days..my family suck they dont help....yes we love our kids but it seems that there is more bad times then good..one of my twins cry all the time 24/7it seems like...I hate it the min she opens her mouth my day is ruined..just a moment to my self a freaken dinner alone with my husband with no kids no crying no fighting no one running around screaming just 1 freaken dinner...they are with me 24 7 in the bathroom. Cooking cleaning you even have to lay there well they fall asleep which seems like tourcher to me...literally have one in front of me and I step back I'm tripping over the other one...its so much strain on my marriage my husband can't handle crap left me many times few days weeks months with these kids on my own just because things get to hard...its mentally exhausting.I want to just pick up one day take a few days to my selfand say h*** you deal with it..but no women aren't Built like that..at this moment my husband is here today let's see tomorrow...women have so many roles in life I'm a mother daughter friend sister wife and with all that still sacrifice asleep and rest to be a freak in the bed for my husband...exhausting when I rather sleep instead sometimes...my kids bring on my anxiety or nervous break down.....sometimes I don't know how I make it at the end of the day not ripping someone head off....ugh and if I hear one more time that I looked tired..duh kids twins wtf is wrong with you...unless your going to help shut the h*** up...I feel a bit better...then again same s##t different day

  • I hear you! I don't think anyone can quite understand the amount of crap a woman puts up with. The second you open your mouth to complain that you're utterly fed up with the whining, and the cleaning, and the caring for ungrateful energy robbing children, you're labeled a bitch. Well, to hell with all those self righteous douche bags who thinks caring for another human being that sucks the life out of you if all cakes and rainbows. It's fricken hard. I feel like a failure constantly that I snapped at my kid to stop whining so much. It's exhausting and some days God help me if I don't get the urge to blow my own head off just to get a damn break. People tell me that it gets easier. My question is when? When the kid is all grown up? By then all my life will be sapped out of me and there's nothing left but a skeleton. Up your antidepressant dosage, but that stuff is a crock and doesn't work. Just makes me tired and kills my pretend sex drive. Why are mothers particularly more stigmatized for admitting that they hate being a parent at times? What lunatic made up this fake ass diagram of the perfect family life and forgot to include somewhere in the rules that this was going to be a bumpy ride and life can suck at times. What crack head made up this ridiculous standard for mothers to abide by? I'm done with that crap! I had a nervous breakdown the other day for yelling at my kid for throwing a tube of lotion at my face and I screamed at her and swatted her butt. Jesus! I could go on and on, but who has time to listen to this rant? Some days I feel like a total psycho and I regret having a kid. Anyway, best of luck to all of us, I suppose. Thank you for letting me rant. Believe it or not I feel slightly better. Maybe now I can crawl out of the closet I have shut myself into... And being literal, not metaphorical. My butt is starting to fall asleep. ??

  • Man, do I feel you. I knew I couldn't be alone but man finding this page is a godsend! I was actually hesitant typing 'a mom that doesn't like parenting....', but knowing from my upbringing (I'm 45).... My brothers and I played outside (yes, until the street lights came on), kids weren't up their parents butts 24/7....it's having very negative and stressful ramifications with this set up of having to constantly entertain them, you don't want to throw them on an electronic device but it's the only peace you can get....

  • I'm sorry I know this is not supposed to be funny but this just made me almost pee my pants. I totally feel you. Some days are like why the hell did I decide to do this. I love them so much. And they drive me so crazy.

  • I'm a mother of twins and 2 others that are older...and don't think they help just make more problems...my husbands works 12hr days I work 7 days..my family suck they dont help....yes we love our kids but it seems that there is more bad times then good..one of my twins cry all the time 24/7it seems like...I hate it the min she opens her mouth my day is ruined..just a moment to my self a freaken dinner alone with my husband with no kids no crying no fighting no one running around screaming just 1 freaken dinner...they are with me 24 7 in the bathroom. Cooking cleaning you even have to lay there well they fall asleep which seems like tourcher to Mr

  • I agree and I'm a mom. I hate being a parent. I get no time to myself I can't even go to the store without dragging a baby along. It's so frustrating. My child father and I are together and he's still out living his life while I'm stuck in the f****** house all the time with a baby. I feel guilty but if I had a crystal ball that would of showed me what my life would of been like i would of gotten my tubes tied.

  • Literally reading this board n others tonight I am getting sterilized...

  • I live in as in a beige cement jail to..maybe we should talk?

  • We always find excuses to be miserable.... Kids, no kids, job, no job, wife no wife. There's always something to complain about and you know what?
    There's nothing wrong with hating your life, we all do but very few are honest enough to admit it. Conclusion: we're all in the same boat. Just find a way to enjoy yourself every once in a while. Find your balance. And remember, it can always get worse :)

  • You're brilliant!

  • I just translated that to move to Colorado and get your medical marijuana card lol

  • This!

  • Me to b***** kids are eating away all my good years voice going out from yelling all the time head hurting the f****** mess they constantly make I'm 24 and have 3 I'm thinking about leaving my fiance and threes little h*** raising brats and just living for me I mean missed all the good time had kids since 15 .... f*** life with kids suck

  • 24 with three kids? Yeah, those are some pretty poor life choices you made there.

  • I feel the exact same way ... Spot on

  • 24 with three kids? You could have avoided that misery. Does not one know where to get condoms anymore?

  • I feel the same way the problem is the times has changed a women has less responsibility
    When I was a kid coming up my dad never watched me never helped me do homework or even cook he brought home MONEY and my mom took care of the kids now a days the wife gets a job making little to no money and does less than half of the work around the house or in the house so now not only is the father a bread winner but a mother too!! But try to explain that to your wife she will look at you like you have two heads

  • My feelings exactly!

  • Fuck you

  • I agree with you! What an ass!

  • You are so wrong - do a little reading and you'll find out that women do the majority of the housework and work outside the home.

  • Women are capable of being breadwinners now... I double my husband's salary.

  • Dude you're fucked up. If both people are working both people parent.

  • No matter who works and who stays ho0me, if you made those children, or agreed to raise them, you BOTH parent. Also, Dad, watching your own kids alone is not babysitting.

  • I applaud your honesty and it is comforting to read I am not alone in how I feel. We love out kids and spend every waking moment caring for them. However it is trully a thankless job with what feels like no end in sight. To anyone who wants to condemn you for being honest about your feeling in the nicest way possible go fornicate yourself with a red hot fire poker. Walk a mile in our sleep deprived broken shoes and then you earned the right to your ethnocentric opinion. Until then to every parent who feels the way the author above stated we are not alone and even though we as parents feel defeated each day will bring a new fight and maybe just maybe a victory or two.

  • I'm childfree, I live within my means, I love kids but my family and best friend makes it their point to tell me the importance of having children. Apart of me desperately wants to give in to shut their mouths but after reading the many posts here, I think it's best to invest in my health and retirement. To all the parents out there who feel trapped and miserable, I sincerely hope that you all find some type of happiness and peace of mind.

  • You've got it figured out. Do not have kids. Just focus on you. I wish I didn't that. I envy all my friends who are childless and have amazing lives because of it. Once you have kids you can't have any of that. They will ruin your life, not enrich it. Your family and friends just want you to join their misery. Don't. Also don't go to expensive college unless you're going to be an attorney or Doctor. Go to school for nursing, business management, accounting, IT or engineering. You'll get a high paying job that way and great benefits. Don't let anyone convince you to change your mind or you'll be typing this same thing to some other soul in the future as you get smacked in the head with a toy alligator. Also you can easily find a mate who also doesn't want kids so don't let people think otherwise. They're out there. Younger people are more aware these days that they're being sold lies that parenthood is the goal and they're realizing the great financial and personal costs of parenthood. Use protection or don't have sex. If you're a man don't trust a girl to be on birth control. Use a condom, pulling out doesn't always work, trust me. If you're a woman then get and iud and use a condom. Sex seems great but if you're not careful you'll end up with a lifetime commitment just for an orgasm. You do you. I'm 100% serious as this is what I would have said to past me if I could.

  • I am also childfree, reading these confessions definitely helps me not feel bad about my life decisions. Hell, my brother now has 4 kids so he had enough for the both of us, lol

  • I agree 100%. I have thought about suicide many times to escape. I feel like a trapped animal.
    Having kids is the biggest scam ever created. The moments of joy cannot compare to the total absolute misery they cause daily.

  • I too feel this. I went from having an amazing life to crying inside every day. The worst are the fools who come around and tell me how "it's such a joy." I'm so frayed that I don't even lie anymore. I will look an acquaintance in the eye and tell them that I've destroyed a beautiful life and now I'm a slave to an unintelligible sack of flesh. I am just too depressed to even care how it sounds. I tried to keep up the facade, but it's one thing for your life to turn to ashes in your mouth. Another to be called upon to praise the taste.

  • I feel your pain

  • I totally wish I was stronger and didn't cave in when my wife insisted on kids. I'm 43 yrs old now and have wasted my whole adult life taking care of kids. the biggest problem is that I have no one to blame but me.

  • That's exactly it, and exactly why I'm still here. I can't blame her, I'm the one who went in without a battle buddy/helmet. I didn't get my vasectomy like I had told myself to do when I was single but kept putting off. Fucking idiot.

  • Omg. I couldn't agree more! Constantly people told my husband and I to have kids, you'll regret it if you don't, they are wonderful...this was 15 years ago. Never did I dream of feeling good this way as a result. I wish someone just would have shared a message like this once to me...just once two kids ago. I wish I was born in this day in time when people freely talk about not having kids. Had my first and immediately the regret began. Then I had a dumb idea...if I have another may be then this one will stay out of my hair and they will play with eachother not thinking about the fighting!! I want out so bad! But I can't...probably the worst feeling in life to have to go through bc it's a mistake that comes with it an 18 years sentence. I wish I would have been educated...! I'm mad at myself all the time because I made this choice. My husband told me he was bored at 22 and thought we should have a kid. So what did I do...okay everyone thinks we should anyway. People are a*******. I would tell anyone right now....don't have kids!! And share why but not once did we receive this information! Not until it was too late and we already began feeling the regret! I have a 2 and a 5 year old whom I love so much but am in constant turmoil. What torture this is...I'm trying to deal and still try to live my life but sometimes the regret hurts so mUch it brings me to tears. I have just graduated nursing school and have reached my goal weight of 120 pounds and look amazing. I still feel so down sometimes. I'm so glad there are others out there that feel this...I was beginning to think I'm just mentally messed up.

  • Totally agree. There's a young guy I work with who tells me I'm the best form of birth control there is because I'm brutally honest about what it's like to have kids - I have two :( I keep telling him not to do it!

  • Good. For. You. For about a year there I just gave in to bullshit parenting, got fatter, didn't care about my job. But I jumped back into school, and have started hitting the gym again...damn, the difference it makes. Please keep it up- and keep spreading the good word!

  • 2 and 5 are young ages. My kids are 7 and 9 now and it is so much better. There are still hard moments - especially with the fighting, sometimes it never stops - and I often feel like my nerves are fried when I'm with them all day. But when they were 2 and 4, my life was unbearable. A TV writer I met said it so well when I asked him a few years ago if it gets better. He is a dad of kids a little older, and he said "It very gradually gets better." I can't tell you the number of times I have thought about that quote. And it so true. Hang in there day to day, and months will turn into years, and it will have gradually gotten better. You are not alone, and I'm not either!

  • Wow you guys are all a*******. Have you ever heard of an abortion or adoption? If you didnt want to be a parent then give the kid(s) up to people who will actually appreciate them! All of you are selfish p*****. There are millions of women and couples that desperately want children but cant have them. Be gratefull for your kids.They are the ones who are going to take care of your old ass when your drooling and p****** yourself.

  • Want mine?? You can have him. With all the money I save from not putting him through school and buy all kinds of other crap for him, I can pay a whole crew to look after me when I get old.

  • Wow, why are you on a I hate parenting forum if this is how you feel? It's comments like yours that perpetuate the guilty feelings we already have. Thanks for the update- but new flash, we are shitty parents, we get it and we are acknowledging it...you're a special kind of asshole.

  • Then let them have our kids and our shit lives. I welcome them to do so. We all do. Clearly, you are not a parent. I'll take your childless life. Let's trade.

  • What a douchy immature comment, just because there are people out there who enjoy parenting, who love their kids, and also people who cannot have kids and wish they could, doesnt make anyone else obligated to "suck it up" and deal with it, doesnt make anyone selfish for hating it, doesn´t make anyone obligated to give up their kids. what the fuck.

  • Have a seat. I'm infertile because of PCOS. That doesn't mean I expect others to adjust their experiences because I or others can't have kids. What a selfish, ridiculous notion. Immature. Parents, I feel for you. Don't let self righteous douchebags keep you from venting or getting the help you need.

  • You clearly do not have kids.... i was in Iraq for a total of 4 years, that's right, 4 fucking years. I would go back to being shot at, IED's blowing up around my convoy, and having my other leg blown the fuck off before i would ever have another child. They are straight from the wrath of some sick sadistic 4th dimensional prick watching planet Earth on an alien reality TV show. Put here for someone or something else's entertainment.

  • I've never had the honor of serving, but if it get me out of my baby hell, I'd gladly go with you.

  • I would trade this shit to be back in Iraq in a *heartbeat*.

  • You clearly have no idea WTF you are talking about. I'll give you a day with my two kids (whom I love dearly, but cannot tolerate) and my horrible wife, and you will go straight home and castrate yourself. Guaranteed.

  • It's fucks like you that got us into this situation in the first place. Take your guilt ridden bullshit and go some place else

  • Actually no.....newsflash for ya. I work in long term care. Kids do not help out our care for their parents!! That's another falsehood..thinking kids will care for their parents. You might see the kids when MA & PA are on their deathbed. That's about it! Having kids to have someone to take care of you when your old is selfish!!!!!!!! Trust me, don't have them...enjoy your short life kid & stress free! The world is over populated calm your ego that thinks we all need your offspring. Geez! Hahaha

  • Ya for 5 years we tried and tried. Spending lots of money to have alittle bundle of joy. But I too regret it. Because nothing can prepare you for it.

  • Once you have kids, you'll understand.

  • Bet you dont have any children do you? You seem naive. Have one or two that will, wisen you up. So one sided. Bet bet bet you dont have any children. Wanna borrow my 1?That will change your mind. Ever had someone bite you because you didnt want them to swallow spray disenfectant? Told him last time he tried to stick something potentially harmful in his mouth he wasnt gonna have to worry about whatever he swallowed because i was gonna kill him myself. Ahhhhh the joys of parenthood. I hate it too. But love that little fucker so. He is, after all, but a reflection of myself.

  • Shut the fuck up you judgmental turd.

  • What a boner u r..... U must b a Christian....

  • Really? The way american society and british ( were i live) structure family i dont think you can bet on that. Parents desperate for their children to move out, ( i have to beg My mum to let me move out) grandparents who doesnt care about their grandchildren etc.. Im a step mum full-time. And My Own mother come to take care of them from another country 5 times a year for 2 weeks each time so i can relax. The children Own grandparents who live a few our away by car wont do that. Lacking family values Is a dangerous thing.

  • Ya dumbass people who want kids. They wouldn't want them if they knew the hell they bring.

  • They Being hell if you dont ríase them properly and if you dont know how to compartimentalise and all you do Is be around your kids.! Go to work, hang out with your friends, go out with your partner, you can do the same things you use to do just not as much. All my friends have little kids we still go party on Saturday night ( not every Saturday but when we want) go out for dinners in couples and do a lot of adult social life without the kids. There is thing called grandparents and nannies

  • It was bad enough raising my own kid. Theres no way I would ever babysit a grandchild!

  • Grandparents and nanny are dead

  • Then hire a new nanny. They make more of them all the time.

  • Money you dumb ass!

  • That's only if you have family to watch the little ones, or the finances to afford a nanny/babysitter/etc. A lot of us don't. Hence the hardship and lack of an escape.

  • There Is also a thing called being a single parent with no family around to help. And the bitterness of paying out the ass to timebox a "fun activity" for myself for something most people (that being kid-less people) aren't paying a dime for...simply getting out of the house, in itself fuels the frustration and shines a brighter light on the fact that pleasures are a struggle to come by.

  • I went crazy when I was 'infertile'. Couldn't live with the idea of being childless. I now have two IVF kids and I love them for sure. But man, parenthood is a f'in bust. I never in a million years imagined that I could hate something so much. I didn't know I would feel this way. I am sorry if you cannot have kids - really. But be careful what you wish for. Might be a blessing in disguise. Just sayin'. And yes, I worry every day that they won't do well in life and will end up in my f'in basement. Pass me the bullets.

  • I guess it is like they say. You don't know what you've got (infertility) until it's gone.

  • A-flippen-men

  • I hear ya sister! Be careful what you wish for!

  • Actually, there's no guarantee that your offspring when they reach adulthood will be willing or able to care for you in old age as hoped.

  • My fucjking n***** wife put me in the corner, she locked my a****** and threw a noose around my neck and spread my ass and stuffed me like a chicken she pushed meat in my ass and now i have to s*** it out all over my f****** road map so i cant see whgere the f*** im going anymore thius life wasnt meant for me and my four RETARDED children, (ok only one of them is retarded) because my n***** of a wife was snorting f****** amphidextrine and cocaine solution out of a f****** nose spray bottle for the last four months of her f****** pregnancy can u believe that s*** this f****** b****. I cant legally probe it but every day when im changing that autistic faggots diper and pouring milk down his throat all i see is red and its fucjking ONE more autistic tantrum and visit withy his doctor thats going to send me over the edge my bank account is p***** itself all over the streets and im about ready to stick a gun so far down my throat that it lodges itself outside of my a****** and when i pull the trigger it will rip right through my a*** tract and straight into my w**** of a wifes f****** p**** so tyhat she cant have anymore f****** kids when i hate f*** her and spray blood c** into her f****** ass. I hate my life and i hate my four f***** kids and im going to tie myself off and crash head first into the first single male that i see for the offense of not going through what i go through every single second of my barren s*** f****** destroyed life i hate everything im going to kill myself right now

  • Dude, I say this out of love, but you might want to look into some help. There are free helplines you can google. Someone to listen can help. Put aside the haters. There are always going to be there someone. You're clearly in incredible pain. Try and get some space for yourself.

  • You are a fucking waste of space. I would say go ahead kill yourself then but you don't have the balls to do it. I'm sure you neglect and abuse your kids. You just seem like a welfare case living off the system. Who always says poor me! Keep your dick in your pants because for fucks sake no one wants you to reproduce! Piece of shit!

  • That is a fucking horrible thing to say about a defenseless child who didn't ask to be born. Have a heart you fucking Jack Wagon! There's a nice warm seat for you in hell! I have Kids and yeah it's hard but man up for fuck sake! Jesus Christ you make my skin crawl. Child services should come and take your child away since you don't seem capable of doing it. You seem rather ignorant! ( you do know what that means I hope). If you didn't want 4 kids them you should wear a fucking condom!

  • God damn ur a mess....I feel much more in control now, then when first reading...

  • HAHAHAHAH holeeee sheeet wow we are all a bunch of fucked up people

  • You are a scary piece of shit. Please kill yourself before you hurt your children. Saying "you can't legally probe it"... omg, you need to die. You need to be gone, like pronto.

  • Being a new dad 2months now I really know what it truly feels to not wanting to be a parent at least with someone you never really wanted to be with due to her constant nagging and lazy attitude towards our daughter with whom I love cos am from a family of 8 and I know what parents do to their kids and show how much they mean,but when I complain of nagging and lazy attitude it sterns from me birthing the child while the mother sits on her phone to me feeding her because she cannot breast feed because she never actually tried I knew all this was coming for a long time because her mom did exactly the same with her but it's unfortunate not all mothers know what true parenting is neither do all dads but at the end we can't choose our family and that's how sad I look when I see my daughter because she didn't choose to be in this but like I promise myself I will give her all I have because she is all I got.my only regret is raising a child with someone you don't love because of how their attitude speaks for them am very tolerant but sometimes I really wona get away but my biggest fail will be to leave my daughter in the care of her mother she will grow up isolated from life itself which I wasn't as a child she has cousin's from my part but none from my patner because she is the only child and am scared of her going in the same directions as her mom it will b a generation of no love if it goes on.

  • I can certainly relate to the original poster. I can't stand my kids sometimes. They are eating all my money, all my time, my sanity, my happiness, holding back my career, my retirement plans, etc. I worry often that I may resent them. That's not what I want. I had a rather worthless, but loving, father, I try to be...I AM a much better father and provider. My children want for nothing, they go to great schools, expensive activities, lavish vacations. Basically they have everything I never did. I can't stand my wife, can't stand my job. I feel i was tricked into the third kid by wife. But, as the poster above so clearly put it, they didn't ask to be born. But here they are. Nobody will ever care for them like a parent will. And one day, they will thank me. Maybe buy me that Porsche that I could have had were it not for college funds and nannies. As much as I like to complain, life without them....would be empty. It only takes a few days apart before I feel the void in my life. All the things we are missing as parents are superficial in the long run. All that glitters is sure to fade, free time, hot women, material possessions will not matter one bit when you are, old grey and alone. I can guarantee you all that the embrace of family will be more meaningful to you in the end than anything you as a parent has had to sacrifice. I try not to regret and resent, it's cancer. Sometimes it's hard to see past, but we as humans, need other humans. Look at that, I just talked myself out of self loathing...at least for a little bit.

  • I feel like when I gave birth, I didn't die physically, but everything else died, my dreams, my personality,my life, my self, died. I have been trying my best to raise my kids the best I can for 9 years and my ex husband cant seem to understand why I've let myself go and become such a loser, I have never brought myself to tell anyone before how soul destroyed I feel

  • It's scary how this could have been written by me, just change the location and number of kids. Before we had children, my wife was constantly pushing me to have kids because she had always wanted them. I put it off for a long time, being a bit apprehensive and not having much to do with kids before I didn't know what it would be like. I finally gave in and said let's stop being careful and see what happens. Worst idea ever! She was pregnant straight away. Second kid was a miracle as I was using so much protection so as not to have another, but he made it some how (definitely mine, he looks like a mini me). I hate almost every moment of fatherhood. My wife and I are tired all the time. I do the late night thing too, so I can have some time to myself while my wife is asleep at 9. I got a vasectomy so to make sure of no more, except there was no point as there's barely a s** life with kids and our nighttime habits. I love my wife so much and couldn't leave her as she would be devastated. Plus I would feel so guilty lumping her with all the responsibility and hate the thought of all the judgement of leaving the wife and kids from friends and family. I wouldn't cheat, it's mean, plus who has the time for that! I'm so so depressed and no one knows, I try to keep it in. As far as everyone is concerned in just the cool, fun dad I should get an oscar for my performance. I hate my life.

  • You just have to organise your self. I have to step kids full time as the father ( my husband) has full custody. When that happened they were 7 and 8 and even tho they were not baby's they acted like it. Just got them to change their habits lost of discipline ( with love of course) and my husband and I manage to have sex not every day but almost. Sometimes you need to tell the children " I love you but go away you are being annoying " " amuse your self" " etc ... Show them to respect you as a human being who has it's needs and not like a maid for them"

  • I hate my life too and totally relate and I'm a mom. I miss my old life and wish I never had kids.

  • I agree with you and I'm a mother. I love my daughter very much, but ive been miserable since I got pregnant. I dream of the life I had before this.

  • I related to all of this. Love my kids. But wish I'd never had them

  • I feel this way more and more often lately and it's horrible. I am having one of those days where it's non-stop whining and crying no matter what I do and I'm home alone with them all week. I miss the freedom we had before kids and I feel like my marriage is massively suffering because of it. Always thought I wanted them and now it's my biggest regret..

  • It's annoying when a man feels like s*** I shouldn't have had children he's an a****** but when a woman says that that means she's pro choice give him a f****** break

  • Punctuation, dude. No idea what this says!

  • Wow, you have four children! Perhaps you could have considered stopping after the first one if you so vehemently "hate" parenthood? Guess what, there is a revolutionary new (!??) thing called birth control. Well, hindsight is indeed 20/20.

  • Why why did I have kids!

  • There are days when I want to get in my car and just leave. I don't do it because I know I couldn't live with myself. I have moments where I completely regret having my daughter. I gave everything I had to a kick ass career for 8 years and had to put it on the back burner so I could change diapers and watch Sesame Street. Being a mother is the hardest thing I've ever done. Being pregnant and then breastfeeding makes you feel like your body doesn't belong to you. And it doesn't, anymore, not really. You get smacked and have your hair pulled and some days you have to give everything you've got to not just walk away. But you love them. And it's family. And everyone is a pain in the ass. All you can do is try to not raise a douchebag. The planet is crawling with them already.

    That being said.... Side note..... If you don't have kids, you really don't have a dog in this fight. All of the " I'm baby free and loving it" s*** isn't helping anyone here except you. The f*** are you doing on a confessions about parenting thread anyway?

    Telling someone that they should have thought about this before and pulled out, worn a condom, etc.. is like asking a dead person what time they plan on getting out of bed. Hindsight is 20/20, a*******.

    People looking down on or assuming someone is stupid because they are a stay at home parent is about the coldest damn thing you could do. If you don't live in the trenches of parenthood you have NO IDEA what you are talking about. s*** is brutal.

  • I understand all that but not all is black or white. If you had a kick ass career wouldn't have been better to go back to work after maternity leave? Instead of feeling regreat for what you left? Being Spanish and living in England I just see a massive diference in how women ( and men) approach parenthood. In Spain no woman will stop working to take care of her children, the don't need lots of time, but quality time. Maternity leave is just 16 weeks after that mum is back to work and baby to the grandparents who normally are very helpful , to the nursery or at home with the nanny and for sure the won't stop having a social life ( will relax a bit of course) I have been partying until 5 am with one of my friends and her husband just a moth after they had a baby. My best friend is Spain has 4 kids under 5 and she works full time and has a better social live than me ( she does have a nanny every day and a living in au pair) Spanish mums seem always happy and enjoy their kids. In England tho mums can't barely go back to work as there is like a social stigma of leaving a baby with a nanny plus they are a very paranoid society about living kids with anybody. Once kids are old enough to go to nursery you can't still go to work as you would need to pick the baby up before you work day finish, the same with primary school, schools don't help mums with transport or flexibility in pick ups or drops. Most families don't live in the same town/ citie as the grandparents which are normally not very helpful Women feel lonely, with lives that revolves around children and that can't go to do almost anything if is not with the children. Obviously this is not a fulfilling life for anybody no matter how much you love your kids. Is not about the kids is the way of life

  • Geez....poor grand parents in Spain. They raise their kids...then their kids kids....Geez. no thanks!

  • Childfree people read these things to remind themselves why they do not want kids. I know I do.

  • Yeah same, I actually have been floating around the web to try and change my mind to have kids, then I read these boards and am all "nope, original instinct was correct."

  • Same! Stories like these are just reassurance that I made the right life choices. I'm posting this while sitting in a quiet, clean house with a purring cat on my lap. Nothing to do this evening, maybe vacuum a bit or watch a movie. And then get plenty of sleep. Maybe I'll take a trip out of town this weekend. The possibilities are endless, and the freedom is wonderful. Why would I give any of this up?

  • So sad. You are sitting with your cat. Alone trolling for a site that makes you feel better that you are childless. Basically you are that cat lady down the street. First you need to be in an actual relationship to even consider having kids but seeing as how you and your cat are hanging out makes me think you are single. And obviously you have very few friends since you listed vacuuming as an activity you are going to do tonight. Because you feel bad about not having a life or kids doesn't mean you should be on this site blabbing you have all this free time. People here actually have adult problems they are trying to work through. Go play on Facebook and post pictures of you & your cat. Don't worry you will still be as pathetic and lonely there too. You are just trying to make yourself feel better about your situation in life. Which is ALONE!!

  • Hahaha, lord knows when I have a free moment I think to myself "I think I'll vacuum"...ffs

  • Lol u ass!

  • OMG....I laughed reading this! That's exactly why I'm trolling here. To remind myself how miserable my life could've been! Hahaha I'm childfree... (not childless) and loving it. Some times I think oh maybe I'm missing something. Pop on here....boom..yep, I'm on the right path. Always have been.

  • Keep telling yourself that. You wouldn't be here unless you were looking for an excuse to feel better about being childless.

  • Go Fuck yourself!

  • That's why I am on here, too. I'm a 27-year old woman and everyone tells me that I will change my mind, but I know I won't. I can barely stand my friend's kids... so I know that I shouldn't have my own. I am very self-aware, especially when it comes to kids. I like kids....but I don't like them enough to give up my entire life for them. Thank you all for sharing your stories. You make me feel very secure in my decision to remain childfree. Keep your heads up.

  • At least you can admit your selfish and that's why you don't want kids. The other assholes who post here that are childless don't even say why they are childless. Don't have kids seems like you would be a terrible parent.

  • I love my life being childless. I wish this was available to my friends and family members 20 years ago. I feel sorry for my Mom and Dad

  • Sure you do. Keep telling yourself that and keep trying to convince yourself you don't want kids. keep reading the posts to make yourself feel better that you don't have kids and your biological clock is ticking

  • Childless refers to wanting a child and feeling like you're missing out on it. Childfree is when you're adamently happy about your decision NOT to have children. There is a difference! ^_^

  • Go fuck yourself

  • If they go fuck themselves will still be happily childfree. I think if you're going for a mean-spirited retort you might try "go fuck another person so that it results in a child"?

  • Wish I was still childless :/

  • Same here. This just reaffirms every guy

  • Me too

  • Ditto.

  • Yeah, I thought the person saying "hindsight is 20/20" was being a jerk...but perhaps that's the only high and mighty moment that person gets. I feel like having kids is pushed on to everyone and you feel like you'll miss out on "the best part of life" if you don't, and then so many people go along this path and figure out it's hell for them. Abortion and adoption suggestions are such stupid suggestions on this site. Those don't come without major consequences or are impossible...it feels like parenthood is this situation that people get stuck in and are socially and legally and emotionally trapped for the rest of their lives.

  • The "appreciate them or give them to someone who will" is a flatly stupid suggestion. There are over 3K kids in the foster system in my state alone. While better than the terrible situations some of these kids were inevitably in - it's a flawed and lonely support system. Decent people can't walk away from their kids. Even if they desperately want to. And not every kid has someone to take them. Pressure to parent is real. It comes from everywhere. Potential grandparents, media, well-intended friends, and coworkers. I chose not to have them and until recently, was 99%. I still feel the pressure to make my final decision. It's not surprising so many find themselves in it before realizing it's not what they want. I appreciate the perspective of the parents here. I wish you some relief. Hopefully things get better.

  • I agree people with no kids shouldn't talk ...I don't have kids and I'm on the fence but reading you guys post definitely puts things into perspective. I guess that's why am here because I'm just I don't want kids in I want to see if having kids is really the best thing I can do like everyone says

  • Honestly some of these people are obviously mentally unstable. Every parent goes through days they want to just jump off a cliff. But to even remotely think about basing your decision to have kids on what some of these morons are saying is ridiculous. I mean half of them can't spell or use correct grammar! Consider the source when deciding on the kid thing. It's not easy but some of these people should have their kids taken away by child protective services!!

  • Actually, we shoukld talk. Cause clearly we have the foresight that parents seem to lack. Listening to us would have prevented all of this lol.

  • You are so not alone in this.....you give up everything to raise decent kids

  • I do not agree, I feel is the way of life. The country you are in. And the support you have., I'm a very decent person. Morally and academically I'm a lawyer with a minor in economics and master's degree. Also speak two languages. My parents didn't give up anything to raise me. Not before their divorce or after. They have a huge group of friends, many of them since school. Went out for dinner at least 2 a week. My mum out with her friends every Friday. And every cultural event that happened in our city. Carnival, classical music festivals, etc... Holidays.. I would stay with my grandparent or a baby sitter. The had fun, always enjoy their life, so they never through at me that they had miss out something becous of me ( becouse the didn't ) I considered I had great parents who they still support me every time I need them. A child is a very important part of life not all your life. And I refused to let that happend but I guess is a cultural thing.

  • Money you fucking idiot makes things easier. Having 2 people and extended family is very helpful dumb academic. Get your head out of a book and educate your self on different experiences.

  • I'm a mother and I feel the exact same way. I never wanted kids and at least tried to prevent the second one from happening, but thanks to good old modern medicine that was a huge flop. I hate all of the same things you mentioned. I also deal with an ADHD child with emotional issues. Every day dealing with him is enough to make me want to blow my brains out. I hate it and so few good things happen that all I remember are this s***** ones. I'm that person who if they had the chance, would go back in time and change everything. And because of all this I feel immense guilt. I feel like all the bad that happens is because I'm ungrateful about what I do have. I hate my life.

  • Don't feel guilty! It must be frustrating being in situation you have zero control over. Take time to do the simple things in life to make yourself feel happy. Watch the sunrise or sunset, listen to music, cry and please be kind to yourself. We can be our own worst enemies!

  • Hang in there. Everyday is better than the next here, too.

  • I AM GOING TO GET MARRIED AND ALSO DO NOT WANT ANY KIDS BASICALLY I HATE THE IDEA OF EVEN HAVING KIDS OF MY OWN.BUT WHATEVER SOCIETY I AM LIVING IN WILL NOT ALLOW ME MY DECISION EVEN MY TO BE HUBBY WANTS KIDS "HATE IT"WHY THE h*** I HAVE 2 FACE ALL OF THIS.MANY A TIMES I WISH AND PRAY GOD IF AT ALL I BECOME PREGENENT AND GIVE BIRTH TO A CHILD PLEASE LET ME DIE DURING THE DELIVERY PROCEDURE.I JUST DO NOT WANT 2 BECOME A MOM.I DO NOT WANT 2 DO THE COOKING,DIAPERS ALL NIGHT NO SLEEP AND TAKING CARE OF THE KID FOR WHOLE LIFE "I REALLY WANT 2 SCREAM DAT I HATE BABIES"

  • Then tell your Hubby before it's too late for him to meet someone else and have a family. Don't be a selfish bitch. Get your tubes tied now and marry another person who hates kids. Then you can live happily ever after.

  • I had to read your post a few times to figure it out. Punctuation helps so much. It sounds like you're married to someone who wants kids and you don't. That's a fundamental incompatibility...does he know you guys don't agree on this? Is it possible to anull/divorce?

  • Humorous and disgusting how divorce is said like your returning something to the store....

  • That's what you have taken away from all of these posts? Not the fact that the people posting here seem half crazy! Yeah get your tubes tied.

  • As opposed to living a sham life and regretting your child and husband every time you look at them.

  • I had to end my engagement because he wanted kids and I knew I never would. I loved him to pieces, but I love me more. I couldn't ruin my life by having kids I didn't want. You have to do what's best for you.

  • That I agree with. It's ok to be selfish and know it and to let the other person go. So he can meet someone who wants what he wants. Good for the both of you. He dodged a bullet and doesn't even know it! He will meet someone and have a wonderful life with his new family.

  • You have got it so right. Wasted my life raising two sniveling and bickering little attention intensive ingrates, and then having to settle for the odd crappy hand-job after begging wifey because she likes to sleep by 9 PM, and then having to remenisce about some teen sweetheart I used to boff, just so that I can get off from that s***** hamdjob and feel some relief. Oh f*** that. I have now built up a second household contents and saved enough for my own house and business. In my early forties and being a good looking guy with all of my hair and an above average face and good job thankfully, I've found myself clever, sexy, engaging women in their early thirties who want to bang the h*** out of me and have intelligent conversations and visit interesting places and earn the luxuries I have to offer. Why should I stick around with my 49 year old, always tired wife and two bickering little idiots? f*** THAT !! f*** it bro.

  • You remind me so much of this guy that goes into the casino here all the time. He is in there all the time because he has nothing else to do and he got a really young escort pregnant. Everyone makes fun of him because he's a big, gross loser. That's you.

  • You seem like a complete fucking Tool! Obviously You think very highly of yourself. Good for you. I'm pretty sure you will be single forever. Enjoy all that banging and STD's! I feel bad for your wife. But she's better off without you it sounds. Remember your gonna age too! Soon you will be an old, out of shape, lonely, childless man. Good for you big guy! Pathetic!! Oh by the way your wife is tired because you don't do anything to help so she is running herself ragged taking care of you and your fuck trophies. Guess what younger women like myself look at men like you and laugh with eachother. We actually do have you pegged as a tool! We will let you buy us a drink so we don't have to spend money but prefer you just send it down to us and stay on your own barstool. We don't want to talk to you. So I guess we get what we want out of you. Enjoy the herpes in sure you will get. Oh and I hope your wife finds a good looking younger guy with money who loves kids so when you come everyother weekend you can see how happy she is!

  • EARN THE LUXURIES YOU HAVE TO OFFER? Oh, good lord. I would guess being a stand up person is not a luxury they should expect. Do you provide complimentary hair care products or something?

  • I hope one of those 30something women decides to have a baby and borrows your sperm.

  • Love it!!

  • You are very selfish. I never wanted kids. I don't like kids. But it turns out that my 2 husband had 2. And wanted the full custody so here I'm am being their mum. Life is not always about what you want. But we do have sex almost everyday because we like each other. Is very disrespectful that you talk like that about your own kids. You raise them. No wonder they are ungrateful. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree

  • She's tired because she has your two children you fucking dumbass! Give your head a shake.. I know it's not easy and voicing how you feel is important, but you made your bed. You have grass is greener syndrome. Soon enough those interesting younger women will want kids and you'll be in the same situation. Im sure your wife had her own life once too and was also an attractive younger woman, but she chose to birth your little shits from her body. So put your big boy pants on and grow the fuck up. I'm a 27 year old mother and I fucking hate it sometimes too.. I get it dude but you are being completely self involved.

  • You selfish idiot - they are your children too and if you helped around the house maybe your wife wouldn't need to go to bed at 9. You are spending all that money on bimbos - maybe you should get a nanny instead and get your fun wife back

  • Almost everyone I know with kids has admitted to me they hate it sometimes. And many have also said they should have had one or two less. One kid seems to be the ideal in this world.

  • No. A kid is a kid is a kid. It's not easier, trust me, I'm mom to 1. You're still having to put time and energy that you just don't have into raising a decent human being. I knew this life wasn't for me so 1 is a massive responsibility I'm not cut out for.

  • Nah one is still more hassle than it's worth, I realised very early on that I wasn't cut out to be a mum so I didn't have more... Doesn't help that my husband is just an overgrown teenager himself and so I basically have two.

  • Holy s***. Did I write this in my sleep? The only difference is I have 2 kids. Strongly considering a divorce. Half the money would be worth the freedom and loss of stress. Prison would probably half the money and half the stress.

  • WOW REALLY I AM A WOMAN AND I STILL AGREE WITH U

  • See this is the shit that makes me so fkn jealous of men... I can't walk away and just say fuck this shit because then I'm a selfish horrible mother blah blah blah but no that's not it. I was raised with a certain mentality of not agreeing with abortion but now I'm like omg KILL ME. Guys can easily just say no I'm done I'm leaving and yeah half the money is lost but they get so much more freedom while the female is stuck picking up the slack and lord knows I don't want this. I feel like pregnancy is the absolute worst fkn curse ever, childbirth is brutal, and the end result is absolute madness and misery. Not to mention if you get stuck with the fkn genetics of a fkn cursed whale, the damn stretch marks- weight gain. Omfg no. I was skinny, great body, toned and happy most of all now I'm 26 miserable and never have time to do shit because I have a job that keeps me trapped and just taken advantage of while I get not time to my damn self to workout, rest or even eat. I can list 5 different forms of torture I would rather endure than my life of time wasted and parenting with the risk of more children. Sweet lord men have got it way too easy and no hate here just straight jealousy. Oh and te worst part of it all is the lack of privacy, I've always had wuite the sexual appetite- nope not anymore. I'm not attracted to myself or my spouse and you know what they say "if you wouldn't fuck yourself who would want to?!". I can't even find something to be happy about because well there isn't anything. Parenting sucks. If I could give anyone advice is DO NOT HAVE KIDS OR GET MARRIED. Unless you can afford to get a nanny (that you won't wanna plow)---- or have the time to always work out and take care of yourself and make yourself happy...

  • That is true the guy can easily walk away but who wants to date a guy with kids, even if he never sees them?

  • YEP ME TOO WANT 2 JUST GET KILLED THANX 2 MY PARENTS NOW I AM TRAPPED WITH ALL THIS ETHICS AND ALL THE STUPID SHIT

  • Sameeeeeeeeeee.

  • Yep i could just copy and paste this feeling to myself. Just change a few things from AZ to OH. And were good. I cant drink either, i hate the taste, so i just smoke some wonderful marijuana to help get me through the dark days. Sadly i got some bad stuff right now so thats why you see me on here now...

  • Your honest and I understand completely. I hate being a parent too. It is a miserable mistake.

  • I hate being a parent too so I totally understand how you feel. Except my son is mentally retarded so I'm stuck for the rest of my life. Oh, wait. The politically correct term is "within the autistic spectrum." At least you'll be "free" when you turn 51. I'm trapped.

  • I love this it made me laugh just as I wanted to throw myself under a train. I feel the same way as I have a son who is autistic a daughter who is asdum as two short planks and an anannoying 4 year old. I would never let this out because I don't want to hurt them so im glad I can let rip here.

  • I don't feel bad for you.

    CONDOMS prevent this misery. Too late for an abortion.

  • Go run in front of a Train

  • Why would i need to RUN in front of one? Theres one outside of my home that i bought at the age of 18 because i didn't have kids.. Picture of train: https://accutemptexas.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Trane-condenser.jpg /t

  • Yeah, well my husband was tested multiple times... STERILE. Still ended up knocked up in my mid-30s with a kid I didn't want. If even one person had been kind enough to tell me how horrible being a parent would be, I would have had an abortion. But NO, everyone says "congrats" and how much they love it... they are all lying. They have to be lying to make themselves feel better and to add more people to the miserable tribe of parenthood. I would blow my brains out except then I really wouldn't have any opportunity to live the life I wanted. I wonder if I can sue my husband's doctor to pay for a nanny to raise this kid...

  • My boyfriend claims he's sterile.. he's so stupid.

  • Not a bad idea mid-30's with kid...

  • Fuck yourself please. Condoms don't prevent shit. I was on four firms of birth control. Two kids later. Fuck yourself. Again.

  • I don't believe you.

  • Fuck off

  • Gee, a lot of hate for having kids in these comments. As a guy I can understand since I have my own and I certainly have my bad days with them, times where they really get on my nerves, where they are just simply impossible and even my own deep self doubts but I guess in my case I just came to a different view and maybe that's simply because my brains wiring was just always a certain way. In my case I'm glad they were born and I'm their dad despite all the lost sleep, medical bills, shared flu and being kicked, peed, crapped and vomited on many a time. Just thinking of not having had them in my life is naturally upsetting or thinking of something really bad happening to them or them disappearing like on the terrible news reports makes me immediately feel sick with horror.

    But I understand how this is not for everyone and empathize with the original confessors view and hope he can find something good amidst all of the disappointments and anger.

  • Thank you for your post! You are a beakon of light and desperately needed.

  • I wouldn't hate being a mom so much if the people who were supposed to be helping me raise my kids had helped me. Every time I see a couple taking their kids for a walk together I want to punch them.

  • A fuckin men!

  • If it wasn't for the kids, I'd left my wife years ago smh. Having kids is like having boulders hand-cuffed to each leg and carrying a sumo wrestler (wife) on my back. Getting nowhere fast. I wanted to be the fantasy man (Mr.Perfect/Right), but f*** it. If threaten, get married and have children or have your d*** chopped off, I'd be like "could you numb me first?"

  • OMG...that made me laugh so hard! Bahaha I'm a woman too! Funny shit.

  • You speak the truth

  • You've said everything I feel to the "T". Sometimes I feel like if I could trade in the wife and kids in for the world or at least a few million dollars, I'll do it in a f****** heart beat. How stupid of me to get an vasectomy after having two kids and not before? I agree, IT"S NOT WORTH AT ALL, SERIOUSLY! I think people who act like their kids and marriage are just the world to them are:full of s*** or REALLY like/love kids or only take care of them some of the time or have a lot of money (easier to deal with).

  • Not fucking worth it dude. So damn right

  • Dude...no one likes having kids...especially men. If they do, they are brainwashed, their wives are doing everything, or they have a nanny. I think they have to delude themselves, I bet there's a high correlation between people who say "Jesus Saved Me", and "I love my kids more than life itself." Having kids is the fucking worst....and what do you have to look forward to? After the tantrum years are over....you get maybe 4 good years outta them...then its teenagers.

  • I feel like this guy said everything I feel. I understand how you feel and hope it helps you to know that you are not alone.

  • Just this morning, I've nearly had it...but it's temporary. I only have one kid - I get it.

    Let me confess something that might help you. I was neglected growing up, with a father that was always travelling and never home, and a severely alcoholic mother. I had to take care of my mother so she didn't waste away, so I never had much of a childhood. I love my parents, but I'm not very close to them because of my experience growing up. We might talk once a year (I live on another continent).

    If there's one thing that you can feel better about with having kids, is that it's made you appreciate your old life more [life in general] - so just remember that when the kids do grow up and leave the nest and you have TIME to do the things you want to do, make sure you make the most of it..

    Since having my child, I've realized what I want to do with my life and I think that's what's made it harder for me. Do what you can to keep on keeping on in the meantime, but please be as good and caring of a parent as you can. You may be a lot older when they leave, but when they do ... you have the rest of your life to do what you want.....just make sure you make it worth it. Good luck - I totally get it.

  • I agree with you to a certain extend, parenting is forever not until your kid move out. I'm 35 my mother helps me with anything I need. Coming over if I feel ill to take care of me and husband is away. Buying clothes I saw online and send it to me. Money ( not any more but if I need she will) housing me when I go home, cooks for me. Help me with house chores when she comes. Comes and stays for a week if I'm moving house to help, walks the dog, comes with me to the doctor... And her mum does the same with her.. You are a mum forever.

  • Thanks for sharing. Def puts things in perspective. X

  • I started crying when I read this. My husband left me and I am alone with the two children, one had ADHD. I also just realized what I want to do with my career and am trying to balance both while also going to school. I miss my freedom so bad and then the days I think it's so unfair he just walked and I'm trapped here with this hell. The sound of them constantly crying and complaining and the messes. I'm exhausted I try to tell myself it's worth it but my god I just don't enjoy being a parent !!

  • How are you doing now? has it gotten better?

  • You're the one who chose to get cummed in.
    NOW DEAL WITH IT

  • You're such an ignorant Fuck... this is a man that wrote his feeling... men always trying to down grade a woman, but you're probable one that's always chasing a female... trying to get some ass. SIT YOUR IGNORANT, DISRESPECTFUL ASS DOWN... WORTHLESS LOSER... SMDH

  • Oops... typo... "Probably..." And to the rest of you, excuse my language, and I didn't mean all men... just ones like this stereotypical, judgmental, asshole.

  • You dumb shit. Its a guy who is bitching and obviously you don't get it, so don't reply.

  • First I'd like to say I truly believe most of your problems stem from living in AZ! I'm from Boston - moved there when's son was 6 and stayed only 2 years! I was never so depressed. Luckily I had good neighbors who kept life fairly normal, but I started to have a couple of beers everyday to cope!

    Parenting is not easy, but at least you're doing it!

    If you need a laugh Arizona sucks website can give you some:)

    I'm guessing you are in Phoenix - I hate Phoenix.

    I had a neighbor who was from Mississippi and he use to tell his wife that if he died there she was to take him to New Mexico line to be buried lol!

    You're just tired, and let's face it everyday in Az is like f@cking Groundhog Day!

    Hang in there - try to take trips once in awhile for all of your sanity & move out of Satans playground as soon as you can!

    Good read : The Purpose Driven Life

    Good Luck! Your friend back in Boston!

  • Dude! Just leave!!! For the first few sentences I thought this was coming from the mom. If you are the mother you are screwed. You are stuck with the kids and your life is their lives. You cannot leave because society would stone you. But you're the father! Walk away!!!! You'll probably have to throw money at the situation but at least you can live somewhere else and get a more for-filling job. I am a mother and, although I love my kids, i hate this job. I love my husband but I think he hates parenting too. I have given him many opportunities to leave - all amicable. Why should we both have s***** lives?!

  • Sucks to be a kid growing up without a father too. Kids dont ask to be born, its a decision made by their parents. He should leave if his marriage is unfixable but honestly i fail to see why the mother should be the only one facing the consequences when both made the decision to have kids. Its difficult enough for two to parent these kids, so just imagine the burden on her if shes the sole parent. Leave the mother if thats what you want, but no matter how annoying kids can be, youre the one who put them into this world after all and the least u can do is be a little involved in their lives. You dont have to love having kids, but remember that there are enough neglected children in this world.

  • No one said it would be easy and nothing can prepare you for having children it is incredibly difficult that's probably why so many children get abused, neglected or end up dead. It's a unpredictable journey with many twists and turns where you can only try to do your best but remember they are innocent beings and did not ask to be here. Those of you who did decide to take the plunge on the up side having children teaches you the true meaning of love, who those without will NEVER understand. It gives you patience, compassion, selflessness and the ability to be less self obsessed even though at times one may feel like pulling out their hair. And for those who live in lollipop land it's completely up to you whether you want children or not I'm all for freedom of choice but don't make others feel bad about it we are doing humanity a favour after all and if YOUR parents felt like you did you wouldn't be here enjoying the "luxurious" lifestyle your leading. Just take a minute to get your head out of your ass and remember the important things in life- the fast cars, big houses and money can't look after to you when your sick and dying it can only pay for strangers (who don't care about your actual welfare) to do that and all those material objects will certainly not mourn you after your dead and buried. Just a thought

  • Just because you have kids there is NO guarantee that they will take care of you when you get old and/or sick. When my grandfather on my dads side was in hospice all he wanted to do was go to his home to die ( which by they way his youngest son of 5 still lived and never moved out of) and my uncle refused. He couldn't "deal with it". So instead my grandfather died in some shitty nursing home a week later while that same uncle would go and get stoned. My other uncle who was power of attorney pretty much just used him his whole life and stole his money. Then when my 94 yr old aunt came down with dementia not one of my uncles , there are 5 sons on my dads side, was there to help care for her. If it wasn't for my mother ,who has no relation but through marriage, she would have ended up in some nursing home. Her own blood grand-daughter that she hadn't seen in 20 yrs only came to put her name as POA and pretty much walked away with about 50k and left her to rot with no money for her care. My mother took care of her for 3 yrs nonstop with the help of around the clock nursing aides. I, of coarse helped when I could. Now, on my mothers side it doesn't get much better... Kind of the same bullshit. 5 siblings, my mom lives out of state, Grown sons still living at fathers how with wife, kids and wife's extended family and my grandfather in his little room over drugged so he would sleep all day. Now my uncle and his wife are RNs and there were several time where he had to be taken to the hospital due to dehydration and malnutrition. He passed away last summer and it has come to light that my uncle and his wife were also stealing money from him to pay for cars and tvs and shit. My grandfather did have an aide that would come a few hours a day when my uncle and his wife would be at work. And they became close. I'm telling this story because sometimes family SUCKS and those people that got paid to care for my family were more caring and compassionate then blood!

  • Well that shows you the kind of values that people had! I rather die that let my mum o my dad die in a home! Shameful!

  • You say that now! But I personally worked in nursing and I can tell you it is not easy. What happens if your parents have dementia? And wake up in the night SCREAMING because they think something is in the room. What happens if you need to give them 24/7 care but you have children of your own and a job and house to run? It is really not that simple caring for an older person. and 99% of people in nursing homes HAD kids and the good kids are the ones that visit once a week, The world is a bigger place now and kids grow up and live abroad. It is not like the 'waltons' anymore where you all live under one roof. I can guarantee that your kids will NOT take care of you at old age and if you were a decent parent, you wouldn't expect them to.

  • You talk about compassion while you speak down to people who didn't choose the same life as you did. Funny how you think you are better than others just because you had a kid. Even 15 year old drug addicts can get pregnant. You think you achieved something with breeding. Well, funny, but in 100 years no one will know your name unless you do something really important to humanity. How do you do humanity a favor with breeding, can you please explain? There are 7 billion people in the world and we are running out of resources.Also, we remember people because of their achievements. I remember no one just because they had a kid. And if you really had kids just because you wanted someone to wipe your old ass, then it is you who are selfish. Your kid didn't ask you to be born. And about death. I will be dead. Why would I care who will mourn me? You talk about selflessness and compassion, while you are one of the most selfish and judgmental person I ever heard. You even generalize. You really think that just because we don't have kids, we want expensive stuff all the time? You know what? I think you're jealous and it's you who want all these things, but you can't get it, because you're stuck with a kid and now you are projecting these things on us. Just reread what you wrote. You have NOTHING from those good personality traits what you have listed.

  • GoFuck Yourself

  • Wow. Very well written. You said everything I think. :) good job!

  • FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE

  • Why would you think so?

  • Why do people want children? Its pretty much the worst thing you can do to destroy your freedom. I would never have a baby, even if someone payed me a trillion dollars, seriously.

    All I see every day is mothers shouting at their kids. Sometime I think women just have kids so they have someone to shout at and control.

  • Its horrible... Dont ever have them

  • U are smart and I wish I had this knowledge 2 kids ago

  • Someone who sees and speaks the truth.

  • I highly agree with never having kids, however I have one. Its an absolute nightmare. Some of us were born to have children and re produce, however I don't believe I was and now I am sitting here on a blog posting comments instead of doing something productive like relaxing. All I can hear is my child in the background right now screaming and I feel like shooting my self in the F****** face. Babies suck and I know what's coming next, soccer practice and cheese its all over my brand new 2014 Trail 4Runner (White) Lifted - super clean... not for long. After that I will be expecting two ovulating females in the house all stung out on "life" leaving nasty bowls of ice cream in the house for the ants to crawl all over, so I can clean the Sh** up (and that will never stop). Lets move on to the teen years when my daughter hates me because I wont buy here an iPad 50 for her 13th birthday. She is 4 months old and has sucked the living F****** daylights out of my bank account. So I continue to ask my self, why the f*** did I NOT PULL OUT?????? Since the day at the hospital I have pulled out every single time and will never in a million years nut in another female for as long as I live, I don't give two Sh*** how good it is. I am so glad I have had visions of how this whole child thing will play out and for this reason I will never have a second, third and holy sh** man, I feel so bad for you, 4 KIDS????? YIKES!!!! I totally understand why people shake their babies, I have not shaken my baby, I am not a f****** weirdo, but I get it. My advice for anyone who likes to travel, eat food, hang out, relax, drive, sleep, relax, eat, sleep , eat, sleep, hates headaches, hates cleaning, hates a messy house, hates people bitching in your ear all day, to NEVER HAVE KIDS. To the ladies out there, why????? Seriously WHY?????? For all the men out there its simple PULL OUT,PULL OUT,PULL OUT,PULL OUT,PULL OUT,PULL OUT,PULL OUT,PULL OUT,PULL OUT,PULL OUT,PULL OUT,PULL OUT,PULL OUT!! - BG

  • Pull out is not enough. A woman can still get pregnant. Get a vasectomy!

  • As a lady, I also wonder "why"??????? I am not not NOT having children and I have no idea why other women want to and seem to be the driving force behind in many cases. Are they insane?!?!?!?!? I EXTRA do not want to have children because holyfuckingshit human pregnancy is, objectively, one of the worst reproductive mechanisms ON THE PLANET EARTH. I have no idea why there are not more women like me. It's insanity.

  • Omfg......that's the funniest shit ever! Bahaha loved it!

  • This made me laugh so hard! God, thank-you for being honest.

  • You bitter mother fucker. I feel you. It is not as much the bad out weighs the good but that there is no fucking good and none on the fucking horizon.

  • Message from nonbreeder:

    Life is fantastic. Obligations, almost none. Focus on work when I want to, but only when I want to. I can pick up and leave anytime, because no kids = massive optionality and freedom to say, "f*** you, I'm out." And mean it, and follow through, because I owe responsibility to no one. Wonderful.

    The significant other and I, we love our life. Making money hand-over-fist. That money is invested. And then the investments pay us as well. Every month, every quarter, we have cash coming in. We never worry about money. We never ask "how much?" Instead we ask, "do you want it?" Wonderful.

    Our time is ours. We can jet on a moment's notice, whether it is out for a fantastic brunch, a short weekend vacation, or international travel. Book the flights (always first class), book the hotel (always five star) and boom, we are gone. Truth. I wouldn't give up this life for anything. Because I never have to worry about the garbage that is the medical/educational/parental industrial complex, and it's time-and-money sucking tentacles. To h*** with that lifescript. Wonderful.

    Yes, the childfree really do live fabulous lives of freedom and truly personal fulfillment.

  • Keep telling yourself that. Maybe someday you will actually believe it. I'm actually surprised that someone as full of themselves as you are doesn't have kids. That way you can look at the little mini you and pat yourself on the back. You're right you have no responsibilities except going to work and fucking off when you aren't there. Why are you in this page anyway? Trying to convince yourself that you made the right decision? You are so transparent. It's ok big guy not everyone is strong enough to be a parent. But to post on this site what you did leads me to believe you are so insecure and alone in life you have nothing better to do. Feel free to explain why you are posting here. I would love to hear. Other than bragging about Yourself which proves how selfish you are and self absorbed!! Honestly I highly doubt you have or do half the stuff you talk about in your little " look at me and how wonderful I am" rant. You are one of those people who was popular in high school and played a sport and still talk about and re-live your high school football career. You my friend are laughable and probably have no real friends!

  • I envy you but can now join in! My blood sucking 3 ungrateful daughters are now grown, I let them know, deuces, I am out! I do very little babysitting, dont give a fuck! I am in my 50's, look 30's. my former string beanpole body is now curvy and I get hit on all the time. I live by myself in an awesome apartment and I wake up dancing and smiling every day. Motherhood was horrible, single motherhood after the divorce was worse than prison, just a godawful nightmare and I would rather.be.dead than do that again! As I write this, am planning a trip to Paris again, they love Black women over there, oh yeah! My children now are doing the parent dance with their own children, I am like, Bye Felicia, I so love life now that I am on my own. If you are unsure about have children, I have one word for you, DONT!

  • Very happy for you. Don't get caught up being a babysitter for the grandkids.

  • It is truly shitty to post a comment like yours to a forum of people who cannot ever have what you have. We have kids, that never ends. You don't (for now; many of our problems stem from accidents that no one is safe from, and I almost wish this on you, you haughty fucker) and have no working idea of what the people on here arts talking about. This forum isn't for people like you, so why are you even here? Nobody likes a braggart.

  • You hit the nail on the head! That guy is what I like to call a TOOL! His life isn't that great o guarantee it. He has to come to sites like this to be the big fish in a small pond! Why would he be on this site anyway? Maybe Mr. I have it all could enlighten us!!

  • Wishing children on someone that doesn't want than (for whatever their reasons) are: A: pointless - you don't have that much control over the cosmos; and most people who really don't want kids will get an abortion B: indicative that you regret your choices C: is cruel. It's like wishing for someone to die. Rude.

  • There are accidental pregnancies, not accidental children. Many child free persons have a retainer of money for an abortion should the accident happen.

  • Ah yes, I shall very soon be joining your club from this little tax haven I live in.

  • Why are you even here on this forum? For the record not all people see no kids as "baby free" some people see it as "baby less". I struggled for years to have a baby and now I have one and god its harder than I ever imagined..but better too. I think it's really oddd you've come here ...for no apparent personal reason...to lord your wonderful lifestyle over everyone with kids...wth?

  • I agree! We are all waiting for your response Mr Tool!

  • To show that these are all choices that we consciously make, whether they are "accidents" or not.

  • Daaaang that's harsh. I too am child-free but I feel sorry for this guy. Although, after the second one you'd think he'd get the hint.

  • "I'll be 52 when the last leave the house..."

    That's funny. He thinks they're gonna leave the house.

  • He can put them out whenthey turn18.

  • My daughter is getting luggage for her 18th birthday.

  • Great gift.

  • Hahaha

  • "I hate never being able to go anywhere new, see anything new, do anything new. School, meals, naps, sleep. I can't wait for them all to grow up and go away to college. Until then, I'm responsible for them. I'll be 52 when the last leave the house...I'd say half my life will be gone, and I'll have nothing but regret."

    Oh boy do I have some bad news. One or even none of those kids may not go to college. At least one may end remaining home well into their mid-late 20's due to the s***** economy and lack of work.

    Source: I am almost 26, still living with my parents. Went to college while still living at home with them, still can't afford to move out.

  • I had my vasectomy last year at 25 and things like this thoroughly reinforce my faith in my decision. Although, my faith in that decision has never gone astray, what with the motorcycles and street luges and unicycles and worry-free s** with a hot girlfriend.

    You should try learning to unicycle. It's a meditatively awesome experience and your kids will be jealous.

  • I never had kids because I knew this is exactly how I'd feel. I have nothing but sympathy for you. That and cold shivers going down my spine in a "there but for the grace of birth control go I" sort of way.

  • +1.

  • You sound like my father when I was little. I always knew he resented us and would pull similar stunts to yours. Here is the thing. You aren't fooling your kids. They know you don't like them and even resent their existence. I hope this post came after a particularly bad day because if this is how you feel daily, get a therapist to help you deal with the choices YOU made. Your children did not ask to be born. They are here solely on your judgement call. You can either embrace the life YOU chose, or be p***** off that it isn't all about you anymore.

    Your kids aren't going anywhere for a long time and when they do finally leave, they won't come back. I know my father regrets how he acted towards me when I was little and would like to have a relationship now, but it just isn't happening. We will only ever have a light and topical relationship because I remember how he used to make me feel. Maybe you aren't happy with how things are right now, but you get out what you put in. If you would prefer to have an arms length relationship with your children forever, keep doing what you are doing.

  • "Your kids aren't going anywhere for a long time and when they do finally leave, they won't come back." Thank God for that.

  • Amen!

  • So finding out that you don't like where life has taken you is being selfish now? Someone has no right to feel feelings that they never knew they would feel? Maybe you should get in your time machine and go back and give this guy a crystal ball so that he can gaze into it and see your perfect 20/20 hindsight. It's funny that you air out your daddy issues then tell HIM that HE needs a therapist.

  • Maybe not , but the kids might need one :(

  • Sorry man, I feel for you. And AZ is a total s*** hole. Get a job with Intel and then transfer up to PDX; it's nice here :-D

  • Intel who just laid off another couple thousand people? ha!

  • Weird that you don't like Arizona. As a child-free adult, I moved here specifically because of the year-round warm weather and no f'ing snow.

    After 10 years, I've come to love this harsh environment and the fact that it's a terrible place to raise children. :) The more time I spend here, the more convinced I am that I'll never leave.

  • I have 3 kids. It sucks. The only and I mean only thing that isn't a complete and utter punishment is when they are little and want to cuddle or when they are quiet. But the quiet only means more rooms in h*** are being prepared for you to discover. Not to mention they prohibit any real accomplishment in life. No time for anything but little bastards....

  • I have a friend in this situation right now. 3 kids. He only wanted one. The first was a healthy boy, and my friend was content to stop there. Constant guilt trips from his wife finally broke him down and when she got pregnant, it was twins. So now three kids, a complete b**** of a fat, ugly wife, and a life spent catering to them all. His weight has ballooned, he eats horribly because he has no time to make himself a decent healthy meal because he's pretty much raising his kids alone because the pig can't handle to take more than one kid at a time. Her own kids and she can't even take two to the mall, or appointments. Now these kids were all planned, no accidents, although you can't predict twins. Both parents make a good living so money isn't really an issue, but whether or not you have one child, or two, or four, one thing we can all agree on is that there is nothing that will change your life more than having kids. My wife and I have no children, and never planned on having any. We devote all our time to each other first, our health second, careers third, and family and friends last but certainly not least. I have told my friend not to remain in this relationship as he has become a shell of his former, happy, healthy, self. He refuses to leave and be a part time Dad. So he is staying for his kids, not for his wife. What I consider to be a waste of his life. As well, one of his twins has developmental problems. Once again, no ones fault. Just another reminder that having children is far more work than the Hallmark card that so many people would have you believe it is. So if you are in the situation of the guy above, or of my friend, you really do have options. And while this may be the place for it, b******* and whining isn't one of those options.

  • Absolutely ridiculous that he can't eat healthy because he has kids. By that reasoning every person with kids is fat and unhealthy. I have kids. I'm a size 8, eat a largely raw diet, walk, go to yoga AND I'm poor lol...sounds like a total lack of personal responsibility to me...and hey lets back that up with him walking away from his family too! God.

  • People like this are so fucking ridiculous.

  • Go away

  • If you hated kids,you shouldn't have had them. You made an irreversible mistake,and you will suffer for the rest of your life-as simple as that. That goes for everyone,including commentators. Jesus,if only people were more mature,this world would be so much better.

  • Don't bring Jesus into this - his own DAD killed him !

  • Nope . We killed him.

  • Not everyone realises how fucking hard it is to have kids. Everyone glorifies it, and convinces people that the only way to find true happiness is to have children. And as someone who is childfree, the pressure to have kids can sometimes be overwhelming, and some people crack. Especially when that pressure comes from the one you love. It's not all black and white. There are many parents in this guy's situation.

  • Dude fuck you, kids aren't always planned, and who are you to be on suck a fucking high horse? Suck a dick.

  • There are never accidental kids. Just accidental pregnancies. Don't hurt yourself thinking too hard about this.

  • Men are frequently forced into parenthood due to entrapment. Think about it.

  • Yes, that happened to my friend. Together 3 months and bam! She was knocked up. She planned it... Had her eyes on him for a while. Now she has a baby, a new huge house, a new SUV style BMW, a ring on that finger and he's putting her through an expensive nursing school. Plus, he had to get a second job to support his new instant family. I don't feel bad for him though bc me and some of his other friends warned him to be careful. And he was careless. Be careful boys. ( this is coming from a woman).

  • Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me four times...???

  • Shame on the quack that sold me them useless fuckin pills!

  • If youre very keen on staying childfree, then its simple: use protection and have sex with a sane woman. Protection can fail, but if these men you speak of would have used protection and judgment, it wouldnt have happened frequently like you say.

  • 4 kids "just happened"? oops! Think about it, moron

  • I feel like I could have written most of this myself - it fits my situation so well. I'm a teacher, so I spend my days with other people's kids. Then I come home, and there are my 3 kids. It's like going from one job to another. And now, during the summer, it's even worse. My wife is still working, and here I am, home with the little ones all damn day. I love my children - I really, really do - but my God they are needy. I have a 14-year-old, who needs money and rides everywhere. A four year old, who craves attention and throws tantrums when he doesn't get it, and a 9-month old who, now that she can crawl, requires me to watch her like a hawk.

    Oh, and the last time my wife and I even shared a bed, much less had s**, was when that 9-month-old was conceived. The saddest part? I don't even really miss the s**. I'd rather sleep.

  • Jesus, you have it harsh. I don't know how you handle it. You must have balls and nerves of steel. I am not worthy and I do not aspire to be either.

  • I use to work at a school and when I use to go home i also felt I had another job. I use to take out my frustration with my don because I use to crave time away from children. I soon realized that my son is way more important than my career and decided to change careers. It was the best decision!! Now I enjoy spending time with my kids, at least 90 % of the time :). It sounds like u would benefit from the same things, your kids will detect your feelings so your stable job with great benefit and retirement is not worth it!!!!

  • Due to your lack of punctuation and general understanding of economics and reading comprehension I'm going to assume you're a stay at home mom. His dissatisfaction isn't with his job. It's with his progeny.

  • Although the tone might be a bit harsh, he has a point. I chose not to have kids. I have a great cabin and land where I want to live far from schools/soccer leagues/etc. I have a great job that does not pay, but I enjoy almost every day. I've been able to travel often and for long periods of time. I've been able to pick up and move when I wanted. I have never once felt I missed out on anything by not having kids. Almost all my friends with kids secretly tell me they wish they'd not.

    Advice to young couples considering a child: Don't. (to paraphrase Ben Franklin on marriage)

    Having a child is an act of selfishness-- you create it to satisfy your needs. Having a child is not for the kid-- it doesn't even exist. Taking care of a child is not selfish, but the decision to have one is.

    If you want more love in your life, I highly recommend a good dog.

  • Shame on some of you! You're judgemental jerks. Seriously.
    These people have every right to feel this way, and I wish more people would stop acting like having children is some magical experience. Kids are terrible, and literally take everything out of you. I had two brothers, and two sisters that I played mama to as a young child. I absolutely hated every single minute of it, and know exactly how these parents feel. I just chose to never have them since I know what terrible things come of them.
    One of my "miracle" siblings is a drug user that just lost her "miracle" after he was abused.
    She even "had no idea" he was being fed muscle relaxers by her ex roommates when they :
    "Babysat" him.
    Not everyone should have kids, and there's a lot of reality in this.
    Stop pushing your brain-washed opinions, and insults on others.

  • All these comments, and the original post just make me feel so bad for those who made the decision to have kids and now regret it. I knew I never wanted to be a mom, so I have made sure I have never gotten pregnant. I am so glad I have the choice to be childfree!

  • You are stupid. It's your fault you let it get to this now deal with it. Either leave your wife and kids or stfu and keep on losing what's left of your life. I'm just glad as a woman this will never be me. I'd rather die than let my life dwindle into motherhood. Brittany.

  • You signed your post...on an anonymous confession site.

  • You misspelled 'Britney'

  • Don't think about your wife. Don't think about your children. Think about you; it's OK. What do you need? Do you need a divorce? Do you need to work out a custody agreement so that you see your kids on weekends, or once a month? Consider if that would be better than what you are experiencing now.

    Simply put, this is a bad situation with no perfect solution. You have to consider what the best actions and best outcome would be for you. Think things through carefully. Consider things with your wife and see how she responds.

    My two cents is to put yourself first. If other people think that's horrible, f*** them. It's not their life, it's yours. Live for yourself, and make decisions accordingly. You decide if you want to stay in your marriage and stay with your family. You decide if you don't.

  • I really hate being a mother. I wish that I'd never had kids. I feel completely imprisoned by my life. If only I was a sick psycho and could just abuse or neglect them, then I could get on with my life and not care. But unfortunately I actually love them and want them to have a good life, so I do all the stuff - try to feed them right, enrich them, nurture them, teach them all the while getting almost nothing in return. No thanks, no money, no appreciation, no social standing, no job satisfaction. I'm a nobody, whom nobody notices and my kids may not even realise how much I do for them in the future. h***, they may even hate me. It's an endurance run, but it's one I seriously fear I may not finish. All I can say is keep on going.

  • I'm so sick and tired of all this Jesus Christ bullshit that's cummed up my f****** ass about having kids and "pleasing The Lord" through childbearing. I was raised in a mormon home and culture where if you didn't have 12 kids Christ was going to come down and f*** you up the ass. I didn't read anywhere that Jesus ever had kids???!? f*** that cross-barren f***** if he was ever real to begin with. f*** Joseph smith too, that lying child molesting con artist little f***.

  • This post made me laugh. It was very entertaining to me at your cost of course.

    I'm not at your point or even close yet, I have two kids.

    I'm gonna share this with all my friends because it's so funny to read.

    Paul
    Parker, CO

  • You signed your post with a name and location on an anonymous confession site? Priceless. Must not be the brightest bulb.

  • You come here for a chuckle Paul Parker? Hmm, sounds to me like these "friends" you're going to share this with - don't exist loner man!

  • I totally relate to this. I have a spreadsheet in which I am counting down the years until I get what's left of my life back. Can't wait for them to be gone, but youngest is only 7.

  • I hear you. I have 3 kids and they are the most annoying s*** machines I have ever had to deal with. Let me explain something to you ladies out there, you make the decisions to have these damn kids and all we have is the responsibility. Bottom line, is leave my wife if they were never born because I can't stand her either. Kids suck! They are the reason I had to leave Miami and move to s***** ass Riverside California with her horrible disgusting family in the hot ass desert. So all you people out there that say that you should have thought about that before you had kids can eat me. My wife made my life into this catastrophe because she thought kids were a blessing blah blah blah! f*** that! I used to love life. Now I can't wait for it to be over!

  • Easy to blame your wife. Was she, like, threatening to kill you if you used a condom? Take a bit of personal responsibility. You made your own choices.

  • Yeah, to me death will be well earned effin' rest. Blessing my ass. Can't wait to kick the bucket either.

  • Dude I live in neighboring Norco, so I understand when you talk about shitty ass Riverside!!! Fuck that downgrade from Miami to Riverside! My condolences man. Yeah Im a chick and Ive known since 4th grade I dont want kids and have been on BC for 10 years so Im child free. Sorry your woman sees them as a blessing bc poop Im sorry but something that is a poop, pee, vomit, and money burning machine is not a freakin blessing, its a nightmare.

  • Your reply made me laugh. You said it all sister.

  • Why on Earth then did you have FOUR kids?? You should have learned your lesson after the first one.

  • It's like you didn't even read the rest of the post.

  • Lol yea for real.

  • Thank jesus i never had kids, i am a 37 year old married guy, nice job, good money travel once in a while, own a couple of rental properties, nice house and happy as heck. I still hate kids but i hate their parents even worst because they act like idiots when it comes to their little brats, listen dont take your kids to the movie theater or restaurant if they are going to whine, just because you haveto suffer with them dont make others bare your cross, so keepthem at home until they can behave like human beings.

  • Hey! Jesus has a 'capital J' thank you, and secondly- Jesus' dad killed him probably cos he made too much fucking noise at the theatre lol lol tee hee That make ya smirk just a little bit man? Fucktard.. Have it, for free

  • Fuck you man. you have no idea how insane having kids makes you feel. you can't just stay home. you would start killing everyone.

  • Omg so true. Having child free people judge the fuck out of you because you can't predict the unpredictable behaviour of a two year old in the supermarket despite taking every goddam thing they like snack they want blah blah makes life impossible.. Ok lets ..as a species..just not breed becuse my son might slightly annoy some smug child free fuck nut in the local market. Great idea.

  • The world is over populated...yes...how about you DON'T breed! Sounds just about right

  • No I think he does understand how insane having kids makes you feel as to why he opted out on having them. I opted out as well and your comment here shows me even more that I made a good choice bc I dont want to deal with how insane having kids would make me feel, as you put it. Ive seen plenty of examples from my friends posts on FB to seeing my brother and best friend deal with them regularly to know being a parent is not for me. I have mad respect for those that are though.

  • It's hard because when you tell the little shits to shut up (in said restaurant)... some childless winner tells you that you are an asshole. Like they have any idea what its like. We 100% try to only eat out when the fucks are having a "good day" because I don't want to be the asshole with screaming kids. (going to restaurant during superbowl) I love my kids, and I actually really love my wife. I don't want them to not exist, but this shit kills your soul. I miss my wife and I being able to DO STUFF, dinner with friends, sex, travel, etc. I despise what my life has become after having children. I feel like I was tricked by life. (this is obviously not the case) I hope this helps someone somewhere To sum it up, now my wife and I have resorted to drinking heavily, and when we drink we have to stay quiet or the fuckers will wake up and ruin our buzz too. Maybe it depends on personality type, she is a much better mother than I am a father. Some guys revel in being a dad. I hate it. SAVE YOURSELF/LIFE/MONEY/FREEDOM

  • You need to move on. You're an incompetent dad who doesn't appreciate your own children, your flesh and blood. How did you mom raise you? Leave now, so you can enjoy our selfish, immature life, and leave the real parenting to your ex-spouse, who will appreciate your ass being gone. Your kids don't deserve you, or man-up to what you have created. You have issues, and your children need you. Man-up!

  • "Man up!", "man up!". That is the thing that keeps him there. Does it not occur to you that not everybody is cut out for being a parent? Probably not. Most people find out AFTER they have kids. And then what? This guy is doing his best and you condemn him for it not being enough. Sometimes people burn out, there is NOTHING that can be done with it, save from taking some time off. But nooooo, that is selfish! God damn it, you are a fucking moron. The only thing coming from him "manning up" or "sucking it up" because he "deserves it" (for what precisely?) is a mental illness. Fuck you and your condescending attitude. You obviously don't know shit about this, so shut up.

  • How do you know this man is impotent!?... Ooohhhhh 'incompetent' right gotcha ;-)

  • Fuck kids I hate the bastards

  • You don't get it. He is a good dad, just fried.

  • Die then.you don't have to live.

  • Not ok.

  • Vegas anyone??

  • Ok those that don't have kids will flip out because they still live in lollipop land. For those of us with kids. We know. We understand. We hope it goes away very very soon lol. Kids are the hardest thing it's one hundred and ten percent give give give. And they take take take. The end payment...screams cries good thrown at you whining ... Actual abuse from the kids from tantrums.to punches in the nuts...it's rather horrible...frustrating...and we are expected to be leave it to b***** land...if could id leave my kids with the b***** family and watch them terrorize the whole show lol. Nah but really today you feel postal. Tomorrow you"LLC feel like you can't live without them again. Every day brings new experiences. Yes you'll be fifty one day so hire a babysitter or leave the wife with the kids and leave for a two week vacation

  • I'll happily take "lollipop land" over the misery that is parenthood. Childfree life is the best life!

  • "Still" live in lollipop land? I'm going to be here forever. Because I realized having kids is for suckers and I made sure as hell I'd never do it. Fuck that noise. Kids suck and a life as a parent is no life at all.

  • I love lollipop land, you self-righteous shit :) Enjoy crotch fruit.

  • Crotch-fruit??

  • "Crotch-fruit" = children. Produce. From your crotch.

  • Love your reply.

  • Why would those that don't have kids flip out? I don't have any, and reading this guy's post makes me thank my lucky stars that I had enough sense not to breed!

  • Leave the wife with the kids?? Oh yes, because I'm sure she doesnt ever feel the EXACT same way and that's completely reasonable and fair. How about they BOTH go, leave the kids with grandma and grandpa, and run away (forever, if possible, but 2 weeks would be a good start).

  • Greetings from Lollipop Land! It's freaking awesome here! We get as much sleep as we want, and we can have nice things! Are we "selfish"? Perhaps. Or maybe you're just jealous. Have fun getting your life energy sucked out of you by your little vampires. Next time you and your litter get cut off in traffic by a snazzy little BMW roadster, that'll be me - the Lollipop Guild throws one hell of a party, and I wouldn't want to miss it. BTW: don't bother trying to come back at me with some lame comment, because no matter what you say, you'll still be wiping the crap off your rug-ape's butt and worrying yourself to an early grave, while I'm livin' the dream.

  • Rug-ape haha

  • Yeah next time you see a big Ford Truck that will be me running you off the road! lol Fucking douche bag hope you and your partner die a miserable death of some incurable disease

  • You sound bitter. I'm also going to assume you have a micropenis considering you drive a "big Ford truck." Overcompensating for something?

  • Hahaha that's funny. Humor folks. OK with a little kernel of truth! Lol

  • Okay, I'm child free myself, but I'm wondering why the rest of you are posting stuff like the above. No one is looking for it. My heart goes out to these people, men and women alike. I'm happy for my own decisions but I'm not gloating about them.

  • This person is right, pure envy. When I read rug-ape I almost shit myself. I wouldn't trade my daughters hugs for anything...unless they never existed

  • I hope you crash your little pansy BMW roadster & die a painful death. You sound like an idiot so you probably will. As much as my little knuckle-head bugs me & sometimes I wish she wasn't there, she's still more of a bad ass at two year's old than you ever will be. Smooches from the farm in Kansas you jack ass! ;-)

  • Oh, so terribly bitter! Meow!

  • You penile-disease !!

  • Hate to tell you this but your "two year's old" probably still poops their pants. Not very bad ass. Also- trying to seem "bad ass" while typing on a "childfree" subreddit forum, from a farm in Kansas no less? Really? Go milk a cow and get over your jealousy. (It's really hanging out there...) Me & Lollipop land dude don't give a rats a$$ about your poorly thought out kid. We don't change any diapers, we don't wake up to crying in the night time, we don't have a screaming mouth to feed and I for one wouldn't trade that for any number of "bad ass two year's old."

  • Boo hoo, bitch. No go wipe the snot off your special snowflake's nose, it's running AGAIN. Don't forget to change the diaper. Inhale that smell - the smell of your future. Spoiler Alert: It's SHIT. :)

  • Haha

  • Wow such an idiot. Poo is really not a problem. You get used to it in about a week...hey did you know one day you'll be old and shittting yourself and it'll be MY kids tending to you in a retirement home? Bet that wipes the smug look off your dumb fucking face. How much will your awesome lifestyle matter then? Not at all.

  • The majority of people who die alone in nursing homes...are parents. Their kids just happen to be AWOL. Having kids is no guarantee that you won't die alone.

  • You do realize that, despite the fact that you sacrificed your entire life to bring up your kids, it's just as likely that they'll dump you in a home, right? Not having kids and instead being able to put all that money into a retirement fund is a better investment in your future than banking on the fact that your kids will give a shit about you when you're old. You'll be lucky to have one of them come visit you a couple times a year. But no, you're right. I'll give up all of my good years on the hope and prayer that I'll have someone to babysit me when I'm old. Instead of... you know... having fun my entire life and then **PAYING** someone to do it. ;)

  • Why would your fucking kids be working in a retirment community u fucking retard

  • OMG I just died from laughter

  • Hahahahaha sucky to be you should have kept it in your pamts r*****

  • WTF are pamts?

  • U mother f****, if u feel that way about kids u shouldnt have any on the first place! Cut ur dik off or get an operation ,sorry ass excuse for a parent! U think u would learn after the first one and u feel like s*** after the 4th one? Ur a fukin idiot!!! Get ur head out of ur ass and if u hate kids plz give them to unfortunate couple that cant have any and would love to take urs, or just shoot urself on ur full of s*** head for thinkin that way, if u think that ur kife suks bcause of ur kids then f** urself instead of a girl so u dont have any more, i wonder if ur parents felt the same way after they had u,,?? I feel sorry for u kids for having such a dushbag as a dad!

  • You, you, you, shouldn't, your, dick, You, you, you, You're, fucking, your, your, you, please, can't, yours, yourself, in your, thinking (you clearly don't), you your, sucks, because, your, fuck, yourself, you, your, you, your. Get off the priests altar and go to school.

  • You're a trollers/teachers/priests dream dude!

  • Found the nigger

  • Haha ha

  • And if you have kids, I feel sorry for them too - it must hard having somebody as stupid as you as a parent.

  • Someone's jealous!!!!!!

  • This is appalling. An uneducated rant by a demented person who almost certainly regrets their own decisions.

  • Yeahh... Dushbags...

  • Umm... you spelled douche wrong...

  • They spelled just about everything wrong.

  • I so understand you. i have 2 kids that i love n would do anything to protect them but i REALLY REGRET HAVING KIDS! I had a amazing life before i had them and now i have all the money i want and cant do or go anywhere that i want. I miss my freedom, sleep...... I cry everyday and regret every minute of each day my decision. Sometimes i wish i can leave and never come back and i would do it if only my first child's father was a good father like my second childs father. I even say it out loud to my husband and family that i hate being a mom. I wish one day not to feel this way ;(((

  • Don't ever say that to your children you fuckwit, YOU had them, not their fault, so if you're life is miserable (because a choice YOU made) then don't make their life miserable too by saying that shit to them.

  • Bunny.

  • I am really sorry to hear this, but it's great that you vented your feelings online. At least YOU are honest about feelings most frustrated parents try to cover up every single day of their life!! (Insert here: many awkward conversations with coworkers and friends whose quality of life obviously suffered under the pressures of parenthood.)

    I knew very early on that I would hate screaming fuzzy bald babies, incapable of controlling their bodily fluids. I hate toddlers creating havoc, throwing temper tantrums, being irrational, and unable to speak English (or Dutch, in my case :D) in a proper way. Am I just cold? No, but I am an adult, preferring adult stuff and adult conversation. I seriously lack the patience of having to listen to squeaky little voices 24/7. I could not handle 10 years of drama from 4 human babies and toddlers. I think anyone who can, even if they are fed up with having to do it, is a saint.

    Having that said... I think it is commendable you are hanging in there and are still married and living with your family. One consolation: things WILL get better when your kids get older. They may live in the house for a longer period of time, but you will be able to have a reasonably sensible conversation with them in a short while.

    Lastly... People, please read his post before making random accusations. Parenthood is not all rainbows and lollipops! He is not jealous or trying to be an a******, period. He is just frustrated and he has every right to feel that way. Oh, and just for the record: I am a woman, I am majoring in Philosophy and Cultural Studies, and I will not be having children (big surprise). I respect people who have kids, but I don't expect them to be better human beings than I am, i.o.w., I expect parents get frustrated with their children too. I don't understand why some people are so upset about this post.

  • Why are you googling "I hate parenting" and waxing lyrical on your temperament and wonderful life ? Do you just go around choosing ways in which you feel you have it better...Google it...then find people who don't...and tell them all about your life? Weirdo.

  • In a world that tells us we're worthless unless we reproduce, sometimes is just feels good to read stuff like this thread and know for a fact that we made the right choice. Plus, I'd be lying if I said there isn't a bit of schadenfreude in it. I guarantee you that half the sad motherfuckers here who hate their lives as parents spent at least a little time, maybe a lot of time, trying to convince other people that they should have kids because "You don't know real love until you have a baby!" Where is all their joy now? Lolz.

  • Yeah. Not a drinker either. Think I could be though with the parenthood thing. And I'm always the bad guy if I so much as utter such sentiment. I've been living the same lie for several years now. Don't know what to do with it.

  • Thank you for having the courage to not keep your head tucked into the sand. Speaking honestly about the way that most people feel is taboo and as the comments display, make people very uncomfortable.

    To deprive ourselves and everyone around us of honesty would to be deceiving them into decisions we KNOW they wouldn't be happy in. That's what's going on in the child worship culture. Deception. Telling someone they're walking through a rose garden when they can SEE it's just a field of dog poo is lying to them. People perpetuate their baby fever by latching their own baggage onto other people's lives (it's different when it's your own, you'll feel differently once you hold it, they're so cute, you can live your life through them over and over). Honestly I'd think being a parent would be f****** horrid and awful. So I'll do my part and stay child free.
    Have the talk about having kids with your own kids. Tell them they're not bound or obligated to have children.

  • I def feel this way a lot. I'm a new mom. My son haut turned 14mo and I already can't wait till he starts school so I have some of the day to myself. His father is useless in the helping with the baby dep. prob why we broke up. But anyways. I love my son to death I just regret having him now at 25 vs 35. I have no social life and all I do is sit home all day with my son and clean and cook for him when the day is thru I still haven't showered and only had a coffee n a sandwich....yet my son gets washed everyday And 3+ meals a day plus his 5 bottles of milk! Phew that felt good to vent. Ur def not alone dude

  • Ohhh, boo hoooo! I'm such a selfish waste of oxygen!! My young child actually needs help/attention/care!! Please do your son a favor and give him up for adoption ASAP, before he turns into an even bigger piece of shit than you. My god, I can't even believe that there are people in this world as vile as you.

  • Wow, you're jealous of your own son. How nice you are. I'm sorry but from the way you are speaking you DO hate your son. And if you barely have time to shower, how the fuck are you on the internet venting your selfishness away? Besides, did you think raising a baby was easy???

  • You're a horrible person. She's a new mum, alone, and just expressing herself..took about two minutes out of the drudgery of her life to say "hey this is hard" and loom at your response. You suck.

  • You realize that young babies don't really do much, you just have to watch them so they don't crack their skulls open, right? So poking around on the Internet while keeping a kid alive is relatively easy, but taking a shower where you can't watch them is hard.

  • Coming from an idiot, he would think that's true. Yeah you have plenty of time with a new baby. The stupidity never amazes me

  • You're an idiot. Her post in no way implies or explicitly states jealousy of her son. To berate her and tell her that she hates her son is pathetic. No one knows what to expect before they have a child and it's ridiculous to imply otherwise. You seem like the type to not be happy unless you are running someone down. Everyone, at times in their lives, feels stress and despair re: their situation whether they created that situation or not. One day, you will be there. Hopefully someone will have the maturity not to kick you when you're already down.

  • I feel the same way... I feel trap with both of my kids. I feel like a horrible mom when I have these thoughts. I can't wait for them to grow up and be self sufficient. Husband will never know that I tied my tubes because I didn't want anymore kids. I wanted to have 4 but after the second one I change my mind.
    I love my children and would do anything for them but I am definally not mom material.

  • Be honest with your husband. What kind of marriage do you have that lying to him about pretty major surgery is okay?

  • It's her body and entirely choice, none of his business. I do think she needs to tell him she doesn't want anymore to avoid getting his hopes up for future children with her, but she is in no way obligated to tell him about her tubal. Which isn't actually a major sugery. Just invasive.

  • Um, it is his business because they are in a marriage. You should know that is how relationships and more importantly marriages work. Other than that, I totally get why she would get them tied because kids are hard and not worth it all the time.

  • Just give them up for adoption, so that they will not feel like a bother. Bitch.

  • Are you actually serious???

  • I suppose you think adoption is a cure all. It isn't and it's is born out of lost.

  • Omg, how can you say they were a mistake? :-S
    What's wrong with you, man? You'll probably end up abusing them or something, you a******! Nobody forced you to have kids. They are your kids, you should lvoe them like your life. What if someone said you were a mistake? Don't you have a heart? Selfish j***. You're p***** that your own kids yell from time to time. Well I felt bad for you until you said they were a mistake. f*** you!

  • You're a repulsive sack of rotting anuses. Given how intelligent you've demonstrated yourself to be, I'm gonna rest easy knowing you'll eventually set your genitals on fire.

  • Your comment made me desperately search for a downvote button that, alas, wasn't there. So I'll settle for saying that you are one of the most unpleasant, judgemental people I've ever met and I've only read a single post by you. I hope you're a troll or else you must have an IQ in the minus figures.

  • I am glad I read this before having children myself. Put perspective out there, and to be honest everyone reading this will and should know that children are little s**** that will be your new sadder uninteresting life. Why? because we were all kids at some time everyone can remember how much s*** we have and sometimes still do to our parents. Know what your getting into!

  • I wanted a child so badly and rushed into it. I knew I'd have fertility problems I was a stepmother and wanted my husband and I to share a child I wanted to be pregnant and have another project afer I got married. I worked in child care and was totally stressed there I should have known that being a mom would be hard. I have a 4 year old stay home with him my husband is an over the road trucker. I'm not happy and can't wait for him to grow up. Being a parent is hard I wish I thought more about it before I jumped into it. The only reason I wanted a 2nd was to be pregnant again and feel close to my husband who is gone all the time. I'm glad we decided not too and are def done. Just wish I thought about it more before my son such a huge decision.

  • There are people who love having kids and people who regret it. There are also those who want nothing more in life than to have kids and can't for whatever reason. I think whatever decision is made you always wonder what the other path might have been like. Even parents with children, who had a life before, cannot know what their life might've been like had they not had kids and the opportunities that might've been missed. But the same can be said for the child free! Life doesn't give many answers only more questions. I think the majority of people wonder about their choice now and again, even the ones who are happy with their lot. You can't know what you've not experienced. That's the problem. I often wonder what it would be like to have kids. I imagine the good stuff: outdoor trips, games, creative stuff, Christmas, fun chats etc and I think about the bad also. And at the end of all that thinking I'm no better off. On forums you can find the views you want to find. Trying to get advice from forums is just getting a snapshot of a life, and it's often biased (as the happy people with children are unlikely to be on here extolling the virtues of parenting). And also posts tend to be from people in the middle of parenting and not a retrospective opinion after 20 years of parenting. A parent who is miserable dealing with babies may well love being a parent when the child reaches five years old, for example. The parents I talk to extoll the virtues of parenting: 'You'll never regret it' they say. 'One smile makes it worth it.' 'It gives genuine meaning to your life'. They have family pictures on Facebook, on their office wall and on their phones etc. But I often hear the child free saying that parents say this to dupe others into the misery of having kids. I find this hard to believe so I prefer to think that this is how those parents feel. Why would anyone lie? To those suffering. Just remember that not having kids is not without pain also.

  • Efef

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