I Still Want To Hold Your Hand..

Am I suppose to sit down and do nothing? You hurt my feelings! I know I told you I wouldn't be mad that I'm not like the other girls but I still have these feelings. I'm not sure who gave you fore warning about my feelings about you but at the time I was asking you to HANGOUT not to go on a date. I could tell that your an awkward person and I wanted to be friends first before I told you how much I liked you and your big ears and your funny yet awkward stance. You told me you didn't want to lead me on.. which is perfectly understandable but the thing is, how did you even know about my romantic feelings for you? I feel now I can't trust anyone, or am I really not good at hiding these type of things? When you put your face in your hands and exclaimed "why do we have to hang out?!" I wonder if you saw the shock and sadness in my face. I have no idea why you would act so coldly like that when just the week before we were laughing together.. I have no idea what I did, or what somebody told you about me but I'm just a girl that wants to love you and it's not just about s** for me I would be in heaven if I could just hold your hand for a few seconds. I heard that maybe your insecure about being a virgin but who cares about such trivial matters? I am too! I also heard you've never had a girlfriend, but how could you when you act so coldly to someone that is just trying to get close to you? In truth I have never had a boyfriend either! Why can't we be a 22 year old male and a 19 Year old female awkward couple:D?! But you even bluntly stated why should we be friends? After my break I had to work with tears in my eyes because of that. Today I saw this " Always remind yourself that you don"t need anybody in your life who doesn't need you" Does this include you? Should i just forget about you? Even though on those Friday's, Saturday's and Sunday's during my breaks i would search frantically for you just to have a 30 second to a minute conversation, which made me so happy. I have a feeling if i try to forget about you I'll run into you and you'll greet me how you greet everybody " Where have you been" and I'll respond by telling you " Here, but I just stopped looking for you." and walk away. My hurt clutches at the thought. I just want to be waiting by your car after work and ask you why you don't even want to be my friend, but I'm afraid I'll look like a stalker and you'll hate me even more, I mean you don't even text me back. I bet anything that you don't have these feelings I BET you didn't think about it since it happened, while it's been running through my mind since Saturday, today is Tuesday about to be Wednesday and it is tearing me apart. Maybe you're not worth this, Maybe I should just forget about you. I don't want to, but I'm starting to hate being in love with a co-worker.

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