I'm a teenage girl in highschool.. I want to fall in love so badly or not even fall in love, just like a guy so much that I want to always be with him. People don't understand how hard it is for me. I find a boy who likes me, I sorta like him. But I never actually become head over heals for any guy. I pick out every flaw I can find possible which makes me lose the any feelings I actually did have for him. When a guy always wants to hang out with me I make up lies, so I don't have to see him. I hate it when guys are clingy. I'm told that I have to find a guy who will give me a lot of space...but I don't want a guy who will give me a lot of space. I want a guy I feel comfortable around in my own house, who I want to hang out with all the time... I can't remember the last time I actually had major feelings for a guy, that I actually got to know really well. Because with me, the more I get to know them, the more I back off. I have set this image in my head of what I want in a guy. I'm also only sexually attracted to hottest guys with the hottest bodies. But only for physical reasons. I just can't take it anymore. I see couples and I get so jealous.. I get so jealous of my sister because her and her boyfriend are inlove and I would give anything to have that feeling. It's not like I have a problem getting guys, I have a problem growing deep feelings for guys. I think just maybe I might fall, but I never do. And I feel terrible for leading them on then backing off. It's not like I want too. I just hope that one day I can have those strong feelings..