I was abused
Many years ago I was drugged and sexually abused. I naturally felt violated and lost confidence in being in the company of men. After a few months I met someone. He made me feel safe. I took those feelings as being love. He waited for months before we had s**. He made me comfortable.
Now, all these years later, I realise how different we are. Our wants in life are so different. I don't know now how much love there actually is. Or ever was. He does not please me sexually. I crave to be loved. I crave to be desired.