Totally lost faith.
Untill about a year ago, I've had a condition that made sexual activity absolutely painfull. This has caused so much trouble in my life, that even now, after the condition actually finally has been cured, I've mentally blocked myself so hard, I just don't know what to do.
My fiancee left me for a friend who did have a working tool. And recently my best friend actually cut off all contact after first saying she wanted to help me out, but after that just breaking off contact after she got the whole story.
On top of that, I'm barely average in size.
I don't know what to do at this point, I'm scared of even approaching a friend or anyone, male or female in any romantic or sexual way because it has so far only lead to pain, disappointment, resentment and abandonment.
I really don't know what to do. I'd like to think I'm a decent guy, helpful, I try to be friendly, I'm definitely not stupid, but I don't know what to do and how to do it, I'm completely lost.