I want to shoot myself in the face
That's all. What am I doing with my life and more importantly exactly how is life SUPPOSED to be lived? Is a life full of doing nothing other than get up-work-go home etc. a valuable and fulfilling life? There is no one to say 'this is how to do it' and I don't trust myself to make the right decisions because I always look back and think 'I spend my day doing X? What a f****** waste of time - where will that get you in life?'. I am paralysed by anxiety and this makes me waste more and more time. Of course, I don't actually want to shoot myself in the face. I just want a release.