I want to shoot myself in the face

That's all. What am I doing with my life and more importantly exactly how is life SUPPOSED to be lived? Is a life full of doing nothing other than get up-work-go home etc. a valuable and fulfilling life? There is no one to say 'this is how to do it' and I don't trust myself to make the right decisions because I always look back and think 'I spend my day doing X? What a f****** waste of time - where will that get you in life?'. I am paralysed by anxiety and this makes me waste more and more time. Of course, I don't actually want to shoot myself in the face. I just want a release.

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  • Sounds like you need to have a loving relationship. I want to shoot myself due to never being good enough for my wife, and being told in the first minute of waking up basically every day that I am going to be divorced when our baby is coming out in the hospital, massive shame from being a house b**** getting free housing and everything, while I have a f****** house sitting up at the top of the hill that my wife won't let me live on since I bought it. The people she is forcing me to live with blamed hawaii's bug problem on me, said my kid is making all the other kids bad, while their kids are coming up to my pregnant wife with knives and s*** and putting their fists up to her. So I sucked up all the shame put on my family, and cleaned the whole house, and haven't eaten for today. Now I have pain in my back and can not eat food properly. I hide from my family because my wife forces me to help them, when I speak about a whisper I am shouted at that I will be divorced for whatever reason. I just want to live on my f****** property and grow my plants and build my home for my f****** family but no. I'm still under the f****** authority of these shamers. RIP LIFE FOREVER F****** EVERy 3 SECONDS OR LESS I WANT TO SHOOT MY FUCKINGSELF OR RIP MY F****** ARM OFF. But no, then I'd be EVEN MORE OF A SELFISH A****** RIGHT>!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! YA F*** ME AND F*** YOUR PROBLEMS HOMie

  • Maybe I do..

  • I believe that the purpose of life is to live. We all have our own reasons for being here. We all walk our own paths. No one person's path is any less important than another person's. If we spend our lives wondering if we're doing the right thing or if that's all there is than we miss what is right in front of our eyes. We will miss the sunrises. We will miss the flowers blooming. We will miss our friends and loved ones voices singing even when they are just talking. We will miss the taste of cookies. We will miss all that life has to offer. What is a stuggle today will be a memory tomorrow. What is a hope today will be a memory tomorrow. Don't worry about the tomorrows. Live for today.

  • There is not a way that life is supposed to be lived. This is great and so sad at the same time. "The first rehearsal is life itself," do you know that saying?

    Read Cosmos by Carl Sagan. It shook me and made me feel like nothing matters- except going out there and exploring the universe. That is the only legitimate reason for existence: knowing.

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