Maid of Honor

My best friend asked me today to be her maid of honor.

I hate the guy she wants to marry.

He fights with her about the dumbest things constantly, he's already cheated on her, he's very much into drugs and alcohol, he's given her an std. Besides that, they have only known each for about eight months.

She already told me she didn't want to get married and now suddenly she wants to.
She's carrying his child, so I think that has a lot to do with why she agreed to get married.

I want to tell her no. No to being maid of honor and no to even being at the wedding.

But I'm afraid if I tell her that, she will never speak to me again and I won't even be allowed to visit with her kids. I love them so much, I couldn't bare it if I wasn't allowed to see them.

I've known her since I was a year old. She's like a sister to me.

What should I do?

Aug 11, 2012

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  • She needs to get an abortion.

    And you need to tell her he is cheating on her!

  • I have a BFF to just like that we.are.only 11 but she has a gf and bit I never meet him and she said he is nice but I am not sure and she said as soon as if they get married they will have a kid I am not sure bout this but I am letting her cuz she is like a sis so I thinking you should yes

  • Your friend is going to do what she wants regardless of what you say. That's how we all operate. Maybe a little something you say will get her to think. But all you can do is accept it and continue with your life. Maybe someday she'll have a wake up call that she deserves a man who is clean, sober and ready for a true commitment. And who knows, hopefully he'll surprise everyone and step up to his responsibilities.

    For now, all you can do is say to her: We have known each other since we were a year old. You are like a sister to me. I love you and I care about you and I only want the very best for you and your child. But I wouldn't be a very good friend if I didn't tell you what I have some reservations about this next step you're about to embark on. I don't understand the rush to marry and I don't think that he is ready for marriage and I want you to be certain and happy with your decision. I can imagine being pregnant is scary and exciting and you're unsure of what your next step is, but are you sure getting married to him is the right choice?.. and then see how the conversation rolls out. If you can say that this is the right choice for you and you're happy, then I support you and would be honored to be your maid of honor.

    And then just do your best to be her friend and maid of honor. And when she begins to complain about him and all the things he doesn't do..then tell her she'll either have to figure out how to make things work or to leave.

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