I had accidentally sent the wrong

I had accidentally sent the wrong message saying that i might like HIM to HIM when the message was supposed to be sent to my best friend. I had only said that because I wasn't sure about my feelings and got caught up in the moment for a while. The moment where you just wanted to have a boyfriend.
HE read it and told me he liked me to. The next day, I realized that I didn't like him more than a friend. I made up rules and one of them were HE wasn't allowed to say "I Love You" to me. I never let him hold my hand or even touch me. Basically,I was very naive and clueless about how relationships work then. I wonder why HE never said anything about my weird behaviour.
I strung HIM along for exactly one month before I had my friend deliver a letter of me breaking up with HIM to HIM. How pathetic and cowardly,I know,now that I think of it. I continued the relationship because I didn't know what to do and I was a coward then.

My second relationship followed and it ended 11 days later because he was a player. Shattered my heart,that one. He got together with my best friend,who knew about him being a player and we made a plan for her to dump him after a while. She did and he looked miserable on that day. I was in the angry mode after that break up. That's why I did it. After that, my best friend who discovered that she likes him too. They did 'stuff' and I didn't know how far they went. There were a couple of rumors about them and she told me they did something in the guys' bathroom with him after school. She didn't tell me what and I never wanted to know. It hurt me whenever I see her sitting on his lap or hold hands. Now, they've broken up. I still like him secretly even though I said that I didn't like him anymore to his face. I know he isn't worth all my grief but I can't help it.

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