I fear that I'll never have an serious relationship with a woman.

As I've reached my quarter-life and reflect on how I've wasted some of the prime years of my youth, my biggest fear is that I will never have a real, serious relationship, founded on common interests, mutual attraction and respect, and a strong emotional connection that is capable of leading to a physical, intimate relationship.

I count on my hands the number of dates I've been on in my life, all of which occurred when I was in college. However since graduating, I've been dateless. H***, I've never even had a one night stand. There are so many reasons for this, some of which I probably tell myself as a way to rationalize and take the blame away from my own failings (i.e. my ethnicity, local demographics, etc.). I wouldn't say I'm ugly, but I wouldn't say I'm that good looking either. For an Asian man, I'm probably average to slightly above average in attractiveness, which wouldn't be terrible if I wasn't introverted... but instead outgoing, witty and funny, and extroverted. I'm educated, have a good job, am financially stable, and my career is doing well (could be better but I can't complain too much). But even with all these things going for me, I'm serious, high-strung, only unintentionally funny, and a worrier (wish I could say warrior instead).

I would classify myself a virgin only in the sense that I've never been intimate with a woman that I haven't had to pay =. In some ways I regret losing my virginity this way, but I try not to dwell on this aspect, what's done is done. I do fear that this will be the only way I'll ever be able to experience intimacy with a woman and that I will never know what it's like to love and be love back in a romantic way; to have a relationship with a woman beyond just being friends.

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