I´m scared I have a mental desease
Hey, Im a female, 21. Since I remember I've always found sexually atractive the stomach, like pushing it and watching the person moan with pain ore pleassure. I simply don't want to hurt anyone, so I don't like it when it's extreme or very real, I prefer like having fantasies that I'm a doctor and I have to give my partener a good belly masage and press it sometimes and asking if it's ok. I don't like punching though I sometimes enjoy watching it on youtube. I'm terrebly scared of being a sadic or something, I don't like practicing hurting people's stomach but sometimes I like watching it and it excites me a lot. I've always been sooooo terribly scared of telling this, nobody knows, not even my boyfriend who I really love and who I will never do something bad to. Should I tell him or will he think I'm sick and simply run away? I've always thought this is some kind of dark secret and that I'm an evil creature. Besides from that I'm such a nice person, pretty, talented, helping, sensitive, funny and so on... I don't understand this part of my personality but I simply want to know if it's a desease. Thanks a lot.