Just to see if I could
I had a friends with benefits situation going with a girl I knew was in love with me but I only had s** with her and said just enough to keep her in love with me so I could keep just having s** with her and not have to date her because I think she's fat and really dull and unintelligent.
Then I got her pregnant just to see if I could do it and then talk her into an abortion. She ended up not having an abortion and had a boy and I haven't acknowledged him. She had the baby right as I was starting to date a girl that I fell in love with and I never told her.
Then that girl went to school far away and I started talking to a girl that liked me years ago because I couldn't help myself and I tried to get her to sleep with me. Then my girlfriend found out and dumped me though so I guess I got what I deserved. I think a lot about how I should punish myself more though for everything I've done. Like cutting or doing something illegal so I go to jail or maybe just giving up and ending it all.