I don't know what to do about him...

I have been in love with a guy for two years, but he has hurt me so much and I don't know what to do.
It really started my senior year of high school. He was still a junior, and although we knew each other we weren't that close. I knew he was special from the first day I met him, so I tried to befriend him. He was really popular, though, especially with girls, so I just blended with the crowd. I later realized I had a crush on him. I asked him to the Christmas banquet our school was hosting. He was shocked, but he said yes. We had a great time, and we talked more because of it, so I was happy. I was happy until he started dating another girl. He knew it hurt me, but he didn't seem to really care about my feelings. I tried avoiding him, which he didn't like, and it didn't work too well, so I just put up with it. Several excruciating months later, they break up. I wasn't surprised, and I told him so. He too could see how their relationship had been doomed to begin with. Then, he started always trying to be around me, talking to me, flirting with me, touching my hair or my arm, spontaneously hugging me or squeezing me. It was embarrassing and so abrupt that it terrified me. I didn't trust his motives, but I slowly starting giving in. Then one of his friends warned me that he had told everyone that he didn't really care about me, and I felt like an idiot. I confronted him, and he apologized. He said he wanted to still be friends, and so did I. I was skeptical though. It was awkward at first, but we started acting like friends again...for a while. Then he started being acting like we were more than friends...while still reminding me that we were "just friends". It was frustrating, but I didn't know what to do. Towards the end of my senior year, he told me he would've dated me if it wasn't for the fact that I was graduating. I thought for a second that he must really like me and that he must've been struggling with his emotions just like me. I reminded him that we were going to the same college and I asked him if he would date me then. He said he didn't want to hold me back, but that he would love to do that. I asked him if he would really wait for me, and he promised he would. Over the summer, we kept in contact through texting. Over the summer, I realized I had been in love with him all this time. Over the summer, I realized how much his feelings for me paled in comparison to my feelings for him, though he denied it. Towards the end, I was haunted by the feeling that I was clinging to something that didn't really exist. And then he "broke up" with me, though we hadn't even really dated yet. Immediately after, he got a new girl. Now I'm tormented by all her pictures on Facebook, the fact that he never talks to me anymore at all, and the knowledge that we are still going to go to the same college ( a rather small college), and I have no idea what to do. I still love him, though I'm not really emotionally tormented anymore. Occasionally, the pain resurfaces. I just question whether we will still be friends in college, if that's even a smart thing to do, if he ever really cared about me at all. I sometimes think maybe he will remember his feelings, that he just couldn't handle the distance, but I think that's too hopeful. I just don't know...

Dec 20, 2012

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  • I'm almost in the same situation as you. I really like this guy, and I've told him multiple times, but he doesn't feel the same. He comes over to my house practically everyday to play with my brother, sometimes with his girlfriends. It kills me to watch him, but there's only two options my friend: either wait, or move on.

    If you truly have feelings for him, you should wait. He's probably excited and confused about relationships right now, so maybe he needs time to think through who he wants to be with.

    Or, what I recommend, move on. Like they always say, there are plenty of fish in the sea. I'm sure in college, you'll find someone you love, or maybe when you get a career. And don't worry about this guy if you see him at college. Focus on something else, maybe by doing a hobby of some sort.

    Hope I helped. <3

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