He said he might 'frighten' me sexually...

I've been seeing this guy for a little while now- nothing serious, we text most days and see each other once a week but he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend and I haven't asked him to be my boyfriend. Boyfriend isn't the right word. He's older than me and very masculine.

He's just over six feet tall, dark hair, tanned. Very muscular- works out with weights a few days a week and plays two sports, goes running. Very strong. There's been a couple of times he's been passionate to the point of being rough- I haven't slept with him yet, but he'll push me down onto a sofa or against a wall and physically hold me there, almost forcing me to kiss him. He likes being in control. He likes spanking- he hasn't turned me over his knee or anything, but it's obvious he's had practise at that. I dislike being spanked- I'm a woman, not a child.

Now and then he hints or says outright that he would like to sleep with me, although he tends to use gentler terms. Last night was the first time he used the word 's**' or 'sexual.'

In his nicer moments he's lovely but I've been thinking for a little while he's a closet control freak or even a Dominant. Last night he said I might be 'scared of him sexually'. He might 'frighten me'. I told him I'd kinda worked out that he was capable of being intimidating. He said I might be scared at first but he would 'take care of me'.

Should I run like h***, or stay?

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  • Let him teach u youl feel great ul be very wet and scream for more

  • At least he's a real man which will make you feel more feminine, imagine if you'd be with a wuss? Any updates though?

  • He is a dominant. Many women like being dominated sexually and would be very attracted to this man. The question is whether you feel safe with him or not. Do you believe this man might harm you? If so you need to end this now. Trust your instincts - no matter what he might say to you.

    If, on the other hand, you don't think he would hurt you the question is whether you want to experience being sexually dominated or not. Were you turned on when he held you and 'forced' you to kiss him? It's okay to be a little frightened (as long as it's the butterflies in the stomach type of fear rather than being afraid for your life) but were you turned on? Did something inside you scream (or moan) "Yes... yes.. YES!"? Then you should definitely pursue this relationship, you won't regret it.

  • I think you should stay and when it gets too rough just say stop

  • You do not really say how you feel about this guy, or what you really want.

    Just the fact that you dislike spanking, and feel he is too controlling and he is not even your boyfriend, makes me think you should run.

  • I think this guy sounds perfect for me aha
    im very submissive and love rough s** and bdsm. he isnt great for you if you dont like it rough or you dont like the idea of bdsm. if he is a nice guy he will introduce you into it gradually rather than throw you in the deep end. but i always say i will try anything once and dont understand why people jump to conclusions before they are able to have a real and personal opinion from experience. xx

  • Have you asked him just what he means by that? Being aggressive is one thing, violence is another. He does sound controlling and his lines are almost humorous. Who says that? Does he think that is a turn on? He must... Maybe he has intimacy issues and this is how he compensates? Run or stay? Are you scared by him? I think if he doesn't respect the word No, then run for sure. Definitely don't put yourself in a situation where you are scared.

  • Be careful. Sounds to me like he might be using stuff that builds your body and makes you violent!!

    If he is being this dom so early on, this could be all you will ever get from him and the violence. Don`t get me wrong, some women love this sort of thing, their daddies trained them well!

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