Does He Want to be She?????

I've been dressing in women's clothes since about age 21. It started when I found myself alone in the apartment I shared with my girlfriend at the time. I'd put her clothes on and m*********. This continued off and on for the next 6 yesrs with othet women I dated, usually in secret. Arpund age 27 I found myself out one night dressed as a girl. I had gone out a number of times begore and each time I began fantacizing more about giving a guy a b****** with me as the girl. Well, one night a guy saw mw out all dresded and invited me into his car to talk. I was hesitant but I got into his car. Within moments of getting in he unzipped and pulled his hard d*** out. I sat there as he continued j********** and he reached over, grabbed my hand and moved it onto his hard d***. I wrapped my fingers atound it and began stroking it. He then reached over and put his arm around my shoulder. He begsn pulling me down toward his hard d*** and I remember my head being only inched above the head of his d***. I looked at it, opened my mouth and he pushef my head down on it. I started sucking and within seconds he was c****** in my mouth. After I jumped out of his car and got into my car and quickly drove away. I said I'd never do it again but about a month later I was out all dressed up as a girl and I met another guy. I sucked d*** again, and after that again, again, again, again..............I lost count of how msny men I've sucked off but it has to be around 35 or so. Of that numberI let about 5 of them f*** me in the ass. Most were one night stands I met while out as a girl or men I met on craigslist. I struggled with dressing up ad a girl for many yesrs including my desire to do it. It seems that it started as simply getting sexually excited wesring womens clothes and evolved over time to hooking up with men with me in the girl's role to now struggling with thoughts and desires of wanting to be a woman. Each morning before getting ready for work I struggle with not first getting dressed as a girl and masturbating to thoughts of sucking c*** or getting f*****. Its even interfered with my job and it seems I must get dressed as a girl nearly everyday or it bothers me. I've taken days off and got dressed up and have gone to some places that are connected to my work as a woman. I've also gone to malls and.other places including bars. I started some internet links signing up as a female and saying that I want to be a female; including I am on facebook as Rachel. I've made anonymous calls to local businesses saying I'm all dressed as a woman and want to be a woman to woman who answer. Surpringly most woman talk to me and even encourage going forward with becoming a woman. I've tried.to stop everything but seem unable though each time after i have an o***** I feel disgusted and typically want to change out of female clothes back to male clothes quickly.But the urge to once again revert to a female's role returns and yes p*** pkays a significant role here. Honestly, I am not 100% sure what to do or what I want to do; including whether I truly want to be a woman. What I do know is that this cycle has been gone on and repeating itself for a long time and to a certain extent my life has not moved forward from it. I have not been in the female's role for a msn for four years but I do fantasize about it frequently by usually remembering what I've done with men in the past. I am still attracted to women but wonder if its related more towards how a bi-sexual female feels. At this point something needs to happen one wsy or the other or this is going to..............................

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  • If you are so confused and worried about it then it may be best to talk to a therapist. I guess it you wanted to you could try talking to a close friend or family member about it first. I have heard of guys with similar cases before, but I'm not sure what they did about it, if anything.

  • You say you want to stop but can't. That makes this a problem. See if you can get a recommendation (perhaps from members of the LGBT community) for a therapist versed in these issues. You need help.

  • Dude seriously. Get help!

  • No S***....

  • Well, again i got off and now all i want to do is remove these clothes, shower and never do it again! That is how i truly feel right now. The fantasy is over. I hate that this damn cycle repeats itself every day. I just want it to stop. I want to stay as i am and want my escape into these fantacies to stop. For the remaider of the day i will be glad to be the guy i am andwhile a guy i dont think about men. Ive not had any experience with men with me as a man. Only while fully dressed as a female and escaping into that role. When out as a guy i dont get feelings about wanting to be with men. Thats being truthful. So whats going on here i have no ckue but i know one thing i must stop now, right now and get out of these clothes because i no longer wish or want to be dressed this way. Ps: as part of bringing myself to c** i watched a short clip of a really hot girl with a great body, wearing a bra pulled down beliw her large b****** and no panties use a vibrator. .. thats what i watched.....

  • Ok, I could not stop. I am all dressed as Rachel wearing a green and black panty (has the word LOVE on the front), black bra, black thigh high stocking, a really cute brown and green dress (its cut so that it's really short in the front showing a lot of leg. I have really long skinny girlie legs. Many men have told me that I have very sexy legs and even women). The back of the dress is long. I love how its cut. I am also wearing a short black jacket/top with elbow high gloves underneath. The gloves are the type that have the fingets cut out. I put fake long nails on, makeup, lipstick, jewelry and perfume. I am also wearing a long wavy very realistic women's wig. I'm in bed and thinking about Rick. He's a guy I met on craigslist and have hooked up with in the past. I've stayed in touch with him but haven't had s** with him in four years. Last time we spoke (about 2 months ago) he told me that he wants to take me to this one adult theater. As Rachel I told him that I fantasize about experiencing a g******* at least once. A lot of men treating me as the women sexually; surrounding me with their hard c****, lifting the back of my dress and f****** me as a s***, j********** all over my face, and shooting hot c** down my hungry mouth. I've only fantasized about it so far and the strange thing is that after the fantasy and I c** the feeling goes completely away. Thats likely the reason I've never acted on it.....yet. Rick told me the men there would love me and other men have told me that i look really hot as Rachel. As Rachel I am a very tall thin girl. I like wearing ultra girlie sexy clothes and when all dressed up I love being treated as the female by men. Right now I am so into being Rachel and how I look and feel. I am really wanting to suck on a d*** right now! For some reason I also have this urge to reveal my name, who I am and what city I am at. To say I want to be a women! But I know after i m********* all these feelings will change. Its a cycle that repeats.

  • I feel the same about dressing in stockings,suspenders,killer heels,panties and bra,mini skirt or short dress,full make up and becoming NORMA,,I have been obsessed with being this way for over 20 years.I wear underwear under my male attire in my office,but, every evening I try to entertain men I make contact with who are willing to treat me as a lady,,usually a glass of wine or two quickly leads to hot kisses followed by me sucking his c*** till he wants to f*** me,I usually lay on my back with my legs up by his shoulders and take all he can give me,,, on nights when I'm alone,I normally take my panties down and w*** off,, but unlike others,I'm not in any hurry to get my feminine attire off.

  • Well its Saturday morning and again thoughts of dressing in sexy women's clothes is consuming me and my thoughts. I will likely put an outfit on within moments but part of me is trying not to. When I think of doing it I also think of getting into bed all dressed up and fantasize about sucking d*** and taking a huge d*** deep inside my ass. I know if I do it that once I c** I'll feel completely different and that I'll want to immediately take off the clothes I'll be wearing. I'll also struggle with the frustration and disappointment of doing it once again and with not being able to control this. Its become habitual, something I do each morning. Well, the vast number of mornings and I am not able to stop it seems. The feelings are getting stronger and stronger as I write and I think I must stop writing and just go be Rachel now!

  • See, it lasted for about.45 min. and thats it. Once I came all I wanted to do was get out of those clothes, shower again and get ready for work. And yes, this is causing problems for me at work. So, I ask myself if I truly want to be a woman why is it after I c** I want to get out of female clothes so much and so quick. And why do I no longer desiire to be in the female's role, including with men? But, for reasons that are entirely unclear tomorrow morning those feelings will return, but only momentarally. I dont kniw..............

  • Hi, it's me and yes once again I am unable to get ready for work/my day without first dressing up as Rachel. I showered and was in the process of getting ready but this voice kept telling me that I had to be Rachel this morning. The next thing I knew I'm dressed in a brown and black striped dress, 6 inch brown heels, black thigh high stockings, a black leopard bra and matching panty, and wearing jewelry and perfume. Now, I plan to go to my bedroom, lay down and fantacize about being a girl, sucking d*** and getting bent over taking it from behind. I know that after I c** I am going to feel terrible for doing it, and for not having the willpower to stop. But it seems I just can't. Honestly, right now at this moment I absolutely love the way I look, and the way these clothes make me feel. A large part of it is connected to sexual stimulation because I am really excited and my panties are very wet. Do I really want and need to be a woman? I don't know. Afterthis is over it seems I don't, and that I want to remove these clothes. But, many times the feelings come back during the day. I've purchased many d***** over the years and have used them a lot always with me fantacizing that I am the girl. Some have been really huge which added to the excitement of putting them inside me. Though in an effort to stop I've throw everyone of them out. Now I don't have a d**** to play with as Rachel and I want one so bad! Yesterday I found a really hot one on the internet (12 inches, 2 inches around with b**** and a suction cup for $33. I didn't buy it but I probably will soon.). The one thing is that when I've denied myself doing this I feel better about me. Its almost like this is some huge temporary release of some sort from things going on in my life. I really do not know. I do know that things cannot continue this way. Either its going to need to completely go in the direction of Rachelor not. I cannot continue living this way. I just can't................

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